Waves of Devotion

[Ruggahissy]

((Mary-Ann Warren continued from Feral Intelligence ))

Mary-Ann ran as fast as her tired legs would carry her away from the town center and the residential district. She ran away, but it felt like there was a string wrapped around her heart, tugging her to go back. She knew that on the other end of that string was the corpse of what had been R.J. Lowe.

She vaulted over the rocks and stumbled awkwardly onto the sandy beach. Mary-Ann coughed and panted. It was a mess of air and tears and breaths.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. He was supposed to stay with her. How long had he known? How long had he lied to her whenever he stroked her hair reassuringly or smiled at her?

Her eyes were already a puffy red mess, but she couldn't stop.

Mary-Ann kicked a piece of drift wood and saw it scoot a disappointing distance of a few feet. She took aim to smash the piece of wood and slipped. She landed on her bad shoulder in the sand and groaned, rolling over onto her back.

"I don't know what to do. What am I going to do?" She started to cry again. There was sand in her mouth now.

Mary-Ann crawled over to her bag and started to dig around for water. What she found was a note. A note from R.J.

She read.

"I......" she croaked. "I can't do this. I can't do all those things. I don't feel like I'm strong. I'm just some....some girl who got lucky. I can't forget about him. I'll never forget him. I want to go home. I want to be all those things R.J. wants me to be but I just can't."

"I'll be with you every step of the way. If you're scared, I'll be here to hold you tight. If you need to cry, I'll be here to give you my shoulder. If your aim falters, I'll be here to steady your hands. If you lose your balance, I'll be here to pick you up."

Mary-Ann buried her face in her hands and the trickle of water made the gaps between her fingers wet. "I can't feel you. I'm so scared it's a miracle I haven't dropped dead from nerves and I don't feel a thing. Nothing."

"It's a million miles away to get home and I-"

She clutched the paper so hard it folded and crumpled into a squished ball. She held it close to her chest and curled her whole body into it like she hoped it would pass right into her.

It was the only thing she had left.

((Mary-Ann Warren continued in The Use of Common Sense is Now Authorized ))