holy.god@heavens.net

[Melusine]

Dear God that's above,

I am struggling with, like, fifty things and for once it's not just about that boy who fucked me and broke up with me. I mean I did see him but I was looking cute and I held the hand of the closest guy and smiled when I walked past him.

Anyways, so my brother's gay. Like, he wants to bang men just like I do but it's... a messy thing. I did some scouting for him, I talked to my family to my parents and sisters and the response from my dad and mom were far from positive.

They said if I turned out to be a lesbian, they'd kick me out. I reminded them of my several boyfriends, which they didn't appreciate, and they backed off. I guess I'm kinda of a slut, you will probably forgive me like you did with Magdalene, well Jesus did and he's kinda hot.

So basically, can you reply to me like.... one day? Or give me a sign? Don't just leave me hanging, this is actually important, not just some petty problems. I want my gay bro to be happy and I want him to get a boyfriend and like live his life and all.

At the same time, I want my family to be happy. It's 2018 and they don't understand that two men can be together and it's fine like nobody cares. I don't even think you care cuz you would have done something by now.

I want my family to be happy, my brother and my parents. What do I do? Do I keep lying to them? Do I tell them the truth and get my brother kicked out? I got no good answers, I just want my loved ones to be happy. It's fucked up, why are my parents like this?

Ugh, this makes me want to go get high while listening to Lana Del Rey remix with that stud from the college. That would be fun and enjoyable, instead of this convoluted mess I'm in.

It's not even my problem, it's my brother's but it feels like mine. I wish I knew nothing and I could just live my daily life. Makes me kinda mad at him, it's like why did you tell me this? Couldn't just fix that by yourself? But I'm his big sister, that's my job. I got to protect him even from my parents who I love more than myself.

What am I supposed to do, God? I want him to be happy and I want to be happy and I want my family to be happy. But fuck, pun on intended, not everyone can be happy especially my little bro. He's stuck in this thing, can't be himself and has to hide what he loves. I know how that feels and I know how it sucks, but I can't help.

I wish he could just come out and my parents could be happy but that's not the fucking case. I'm rambling, and I hope I'm making sense but like it's just a mess I can't figure out.


So send help ?

Love,

Angie.