Katelyn balled her hands into fists, clenched them until her knuckles turned white. Snot dribbled down through her nose as tears burned her bad eye and ran down her cheeks. She felt sick to her stomach.
Robin was dead. Ren was dead. Ash was dead. Kai abandoned her. California rejected her.
Ash had wanted Katelyn to win, to survive, and had used her dying breath to lay that curse upon her. Yet, who did Katelyn have left to survive for?
"N-Now, or later, then?"
Because if she had nobody left to lean on, and was going to die here anyway, she might as well get it over with herself.
"Do you c-care what happens to me, anymore? B-Because I still care about what happens to you."
Like it or not, she couldn’t stop loving any of them.
Red Cat, White Fox
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VoltTurtle
- Posts: 1525
- Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2018 4:10 pm
- Location: Dreamland
Kitty wanted more from her, but California was unsure what else she could give. The solution to everything seemed so obvious to her. But Kitty likely wasn't being driven by logic, she was probably running off fear. If every decision was made based on potential threats, real or imagined, then it was easy to see why Kitty didn't believe stopping her killing was an option.
With all that taken into account, California was still surprised by the question Kitty had asked. The belief that no longer killing was akin to a death sentence seemed especially noxious, rotting away at Kitty until she saw herself as possessing no other options.
"Of course I still care about you," California replied, and the hurt in her voice at being asked the question was obvious. She turned to face the girl again, looking her eye and feeling another stab of guilt as she saw Kitty's snotty, tear-filled face. But California didn't see any other way around the issue. "But none of our lives have more value than anyone else's and you've ended six so far."
She sighed, and rubbed at one of her eyes with the back of her hand.
"And you don't seem to want to stop."
There was a pause as California considered her next words, well aware it was the nuclear option. A lightning bolt from the gods sent to smite someone who had crossed them. Given the way the conversation had gone, she didn't see any other way to break through to Kitty. It needed to be able to shock her, to have the words hit her like a slap to the face. But knowing all of that didn't make it any easier to speak them, as she knew it would hurt, it would hurt both of them and there may not have been any way back from it.
"I met the guy that killed Ren—Matthew—and I spoke to him about it, tried to see if I could convince him he may have been wrong to kill them. But no matter what I said he had another reason or explanation, sometimes he'd pause, just long enough for his brain to build another wall, then he'd respond and we'd start again. But he always had something, some excuse for why it had to be done, for why one of my friends had to die."
A final pause, the final chance to step off the path she had put herself on.
"You remind me of him."
With all that taken into account, California was still surprised by the question Kitty had asked. The belief that no longer killing was akin to a death sentence seemed especially noxious, rotting away at Kitty until she saw herself as possessing no other options.
"Of course I still care about you," California replied, and the hurt in her voice at being asked the question was obvious. She turned to face the girl again, looking her eye and feeling another stab of guilt as she saw Kitty's snotty, tear-filled face. But California didn't see any other way around the issue. "But none of our lives have more value than anyone else's and you've ended six so far."
She sighed, and rubbed at one of her eyes with the back of her hand.
"And you don't seem to want to stop."
There was a pause as California considered her next words, well aware it was the nuclear option. A lightning bolt from the gods sent to smite someone who had crossed them. Given the way the conversation had gone, she didn't see any other way to break through to Kitty. It needed to be able to shock her, to have the words hit her like a slap to the face. But knowing all of that didn't make it any easier to speak them, as she knew it would hurt, it would hurt both of them and there may not have been any way back from it.
"I met the guy that killed Ren—Matthew—and I spoke to him about it, tried to see if I could convince him he may have been wrong to kill them. But no matter what I said he had another reason or explanation, sometimes he'd pause, just long enough for his brain to build another wall, then he'd respond and we'd start again. But he always had something, some excuse for why it had to be done, for why one of my friends had to die."
A final pause, the final chance to step off the path she had put herself on.
"You remind me of him."
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VoltTurtle
- Posts: 1525
- Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2018 4:10 pm
- Location: Dreamland
"I-"
Katelyn froze up, as though the cold had made her go stiff all at once. A small whine escaped her lips, and she briefly thought that she should argue. Matthew and her weren't the same, he actively sought out conflict while she had, for the most part, been trying to avoid it. Yet, like with everything else California had said, Katelyn couldn't deny it. Both she and Matthew were killing for their own selfish reasons, only justifying it after the fact. How many of the people she had snuffed out been someone else's Ren?
She might as well have killed Ren herself.
The realization hit Katelyn like a cannonball to the gut. The impact caused the dam she had built around all her guilt to burst, flooding her mind and drowning her in the flow. Being frozen in place gave way to violent trembling, tears flowing freely as the floodgates opened. Her arms reflexively came up in front of her chest, almost as if she was shielding herself from attack. She looked away from California, too ashamed of herself to meet her friend's gaze any longer.
Foxes and cats didn't get along, their relationship being one of predator and prey. One time, when she was younger, Katelyn had heard about a cat in their neighborhood being killed by a fox, with its owner finding the poor thing torn to shreds in their backyard. Katelyn couldn't help but feel like she had been torn to shreds herself. Even if California hadn't harmed Katelyn at all, to her it felt as though her friend had ripped her heart out with her teeth.
At least she finally got the answer to her question.
She knew what she had to do now.
"I'm s-sorry," Katelyn squeaked out. "I-I'm g-going to g-go. You w-won't s-see me a-again. G- G- Good- Goodbye."
((And so, with her tail between her legs, Katelyn ran away.))
Katelyn froze up, as though the cold had made her go stiff all at once. A small whine escaped her lips, and she briefly thought that she should argue. Matthew and her weren't the same, he actively sought out conflict while she had, for the most part, been trying to avoid it. Yet, like with everything else California had said, Katelyn couldn't deny it. Both she and Matthew were killing for their own selfish reasons, only justifying it after the fact. How many of the people she had snuffed out been someone else's Ren?
She might as well have killed Ren herself.
The realization hit Katelyn like a cannonball to the gut. The impact caused the dam she had built around all her guilt to burst, flooding her mind and drowning her in the flow. Being frozen in place gave way to violent trembling, tears flowing freely as the floodgates opened. Her arms reflexively came up in front of her chest, almost as if she was shielding herself from attack. She looked away from California, too ashamed of herself to meet her friend's gaze any longer.
Foxes and cats didn't get along, their relationship being one of predator and prey. One time, when she was younger, Katelyn had heard about a cat in their neighborhood being killed by a fox, with its owner finding the poor thing torn to shreds in their backyard. Katelyn couldn't help but feel like she had been torn to shreds herself. Even if California hadn't harmed Katelyn at all, to her it felt as though her friend had ripped her heart out with her teeth.
At least she finally got the answer to her question.
She knew what she had to do now.
"I'm s-sorry," Katelyn squeaked out. "I-I'm g-going to g-go. You w-won't s-see me a-again. G- G- Good- Goodbye."
((And so, with her tail between her legs, Katelyn ran away.))
It was done.
California had been able to say her piece.
She got to look her former friend in the face and say what she had wanted, to give her own attempt to force her off the path she was on. California was unsure she had succeeded. But she'd had to try, she couldn't live with the regret of not trying.
She watched Kitty disappear into the snow and trees, and once satisfied that she had vanished from view leaned her had back and allowed herself a long nervous exhale. She had gotten through the encounter without revealing that she had met Kai, and that they were working together to take Kitty's weapons away from her. She didn't know how Kitty would have reacted to that information and although California herself had her icepick, she was unsure if she would have been able to use it.
But it was over and done. The moment had passed and the more seconds ticked by following Kitty's retreat the less it felt like a bomb was about to go off. California knew that eventually, she would need to tell Kai about the encounter and what had been said. It wasn't a conversation she was looking forward to, because she didn't know how he would react to what she had said. But California hoped Kitty had understood what she had been saying.
Once her legs stopped shaking California stood up from the log and picked up her bag.
Then she began to head in her own direction, towards their designated meeting places.
As she walked she thought about how the conversation had gone.
And while she hoped Kitty had understood her message she knew deep down that wasn't true.
((California Fox continued in The Golden Eel))
California had been able to say her piece.
She got to look her former friend in the face and say what she had wanted, to give her own attempt to force her off the path she was on. California was unsure she had succeeded. But she'd had to try, she couldn't live with the regret of not trying.
She watched Kitty disappear into the snow and trees, and once satisfied that she had vanished from view leaned her had back and allowed herself a long nervous exhale. She had gotten through the encounter without revealing that she had met Kai, and that they were working together to take Kitty's weapons away from her. She didn't know how Kitty would have reacted to that information and although California herself had her icepick, she was unsure if she would have been able to use it.
But it was over and done. The moment had passed and the more seconds ticked by following Kitty's retreat the less it felt like a bomb was about to go off. California knew that eventually, she would need to tell Kai about the encounter and what had been said. It wasn't a conversation she was looking forward to, because she didn't know how he would react to what she had said. But California hoped Kitty had understood what she had been saying.
Once her legs stopped shaking California stood up from the log and picked up her bag.
Then she began to head in her own direction, towards their designated meeting places.
As she walked she thought about how the conversation had gone.
And while she hoped Kitty had understood her message she knew deep down that wasn't true.
((California Fox continued in The Golden Eel))