Love and Marriage

[Ciel*]

"... Yeah."

... Ami's eyes darted, finding it hard to keep eye-contact.

"I mean... I've tried everything other than 'Sorry'. I couldn't sleep for days. She was in my nightmares." She closed her eyes. "Even now I can't quite forgive myself. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself..."

She was getting off-track. Ami forced her eyes open and made eye-contact with Sean. Only then did Ami notice the gun. Sean's gun. A chill ran along her spine but she ignored it. Funny, she didn't see him with a gun before. She could have just raised one of her own and shot him. One less thing to worry about. But it was too late to be heartless. To hell with 'Don't Tread on Me'. She had baggage and she wanted to stop carrying that weight. That was the only reason she was standing there.

Another chill. She ignored that one, too. Don't even bother.

"I know an apology isn't going to do you much good. An apology isn't going to bring your friend back. But it's all I have, Sean. I'm sorry."

... Ami nodded.

"You probably still hate me, so I won't bother you again. I'll probably be dead by tomorrow anyway... Not sure if that's any consolation for you."

[MK Kilmarnock]

"No. It's not."



Honestly, neither was this.



Sean pulled the trigger. Over and over and over again, tears streaming down his face.

[Ciel*]

Her throat was so raw that her screams came as pathetic wisps. She tried to get up but one of her ribs was broken and whenever she rose it pierced her stomach.

It hurt. Not a tragedy but a melancholy. Sleep now, a voice said. Ami gritted her teeth and rolled. She wanted to be on her stomach but one of the bullets tore through her shoulder. Through the skin and blood and pus and dirt she could see how white her bone was. This wasn't supposed to happen.

"Ohgod."

Her mother came to her when she closed her eyes. She cupped her cheek and told her it was okay. Everything was going to be fine. Ami wanted to believe her. But there was a voice that told her that she was stupid. She didn't want to die. That if she stayed on the ground she would die. No one would remember her. She'd be nothing but a tally mark on a prison wall. A corpse in the bathtub. A deer on the side of the road. Just a number. Stop being so stupid. Stop. You're going to Princeton please stop please fucking stop this.

The voices were not voices. Ami understood what they were. They were Ami Flynn. She was them and they were her, doubts, fears, morality, 'what would Jesus do', 'what would Father want'. 'what is the most just thing to do?' Everything, other than what she wanted. Everything, other than what logic told her to do. Everything, other than the will to live.

Logic told her to live. Deep down that was what she wanted. But she was Graveyard Ami. She was the crypt-keeper's daughter. There were rules to being in a funeral home, and she was better than that. She had to be better than that.

So she left rationality by the corner. Then she crossed the street. And when it told her to shoot Joe Carrasco and Leona Van Kamp; when it told her to keep quiet when someone passed her apartment; and when it told her that Joachim was open, weak, pull the trigger, no one would stop her... it's voice would be so faint as to not be a voice at all.

Even though she was dying, it took G072, AMI FLYNN ten days to really open her eyes. In hindsight, she made a terrible mistake. So careless, so naive. In hindsight, Ami Flynn was surprised she lasted as long as she did.

Hindsight.

20/20.

You know how this ends.

15 STUDENTS REMAINING

[Arscapi*]

(Sorry for the delay, work suddenly became very demanding)

Kathryn watched dumbfounded as events unfolded rapidly in front of her. She didn't know what to say or how to react, and suddenly Ami was dead in front of her. Just minutes ago, she'd been worried about how the boys were going to react to the news that she was a killer. But now, now Sean had killed someone right in front of her. Kathryn guessed that was why the boys were so quick to forgive her.

"What, why," she said knowing that she wasn't making much sense. Suddenly death seemed to be following her. Kathryn wasn't sure when it'd happened, or what she'd done but it was there. She'd never taken stock in her grandma's stories before, but she'd done something and death had latched on to her. It'd started at the mansions. From there death had followed her since then. Kathryn searched her memory, trying to remember the cleansing rituals her grandmother had droned on about.

Part of her wanted to run, get away from Sean. But a bigger part, pointed out that there didn't seem to be much point. With or without a group, death seemed to find her. She fingered the butt of the rifle nervously waiting to see what Sean and Gray were going to do next.

[Deamon]

There were some things you could never prepare for. Ami's sudden appearance was one of those things. The gunshot split the air with a crack. It served its purpose and grabbed Gray's attention. It also put his body straight into fight or flight mode. The adrenaline beginning to be released and make its way through his system. It provided that rush. Fight or flight that was the question his body was preparing to answer. In response Gray gripped the FAMAS a little tighter.

Sean drew his gun and Gray knew then where things were going and how they were ending. In a more honest assessment of the situation the argument could have been made that he'd always know. That he had always been prepared for the scenario that he was facing. It was a more honest assessment because it was the truth. He had always known that things would spiral out of control until they hit this breaking point. He was in a rip tide and trying to swim back to shore. Instead all he had succeeded in doing was end up further from shore. Stranded in an empty sea, his one ally was like the weather, unpredictable and potentially dangerous. He had been playing close to that fire since they'd left the freighter together. Now it seemed was the moment he got burned.

The confession poured out of Ami's lips. They continued to talk. Gray could have done something; he could have snapped them out of the path they were stuck on. Blind to everything save each other. He could easily have acted, brought them back to reality. Shot off the FAMAS, shatter the illusion they were building between each other of the cinematic stand-off. Things didn't have to go the way they were going. Instead though Gray tried to stand up. Maybe he was lost in the moment himself. Maybe he needed the pain to bring himself back. The reason wasn't clear. It wasn't the path to take to bring the situation to a save conclusion. But he had always been swimming against the tide.

The pain shot up his knee and he had to stop on one knee. It was hesitation enough to give Sean the time he needed to shoot Ami. Sean had been carried away and Gray had remained where he was possessing the power to save him, but failing due to inaction. Deliberate or not he didn't want to say. Things had changed though. His friend was gone. In his place was a person consumed by the scenario they found themselves in. Maybe Sean was still there. But the Sean Gray knew wouldn't have killed once, let alone twice. If any of Sean was left it was a twisted reflection of the Sean he'd known.

Gray forced himself up onto both feet. There was only one path for him now. He had to see it through.

"Sean..." He'd never been big on words.

[MK Kilmarnock]

"I..."

Sean's wrist slackened and let the barrel of the gun lower an inch or so. Ami had fallen so quickly. Just like that, she was dead. What's done was done, and there was no point in regretting it. The sadness of how pointless her death was struck at him and his eyes continued to tear, all while Sean understood that this was the only way things could ever be. This was how they had to be. She killed Sara, and now he had killed her.

At the end of this there'd only be one of them standing. Nobody out there could ever blame him for what he was doing, no matter how horrible it was. It NEEDED to be done.

"Yeah, Gray, I know," Sean mumbled, letting his hand fall the rest of the way. His index finger looped behind the trigger to allow even his slackened grip to hold the handgun, his feet lazily stepping back to support his swaying body. "Sorry about that. Sorry about... well... that." He gestured with his free hand. If he was completely in the right, he hated himself for still feeling so ugly about it. Of course when he ran it through in his mind, no other unfolding of those events ever made sense other than what happened, so why was it wrong? Why did he feel wrong?

He would never kill. But he did. Again, with intent this time, he ended a life.

"I'm just gonna check out... check around, you know? Never know if there's somebody that... uh... that could have heard that..." Sean said, his brain not really giving too much to what his mouth was saying. Not with the loud buzzing throwing itself around his skull. "If you need me just drop a line, y-y'know?"

[Arscapi*]

((I'm not sure what posting order is, but figured I go.))

Kathryn looked again between Gray and Sean and Ami. She felt like something should be said, but she couldn't think of anything. Sean already seemed rattled enough, and she didn't know where his mind was. Talking now could have him targeting her. Although Kathryn doubted it. She hadn't been with them long, but if he was going to kill her, he'd opportunities before now.

She wondered what exactly had happened with Ami. Kathryn guessed she'd killed someone. Someone close to Sean. If that was the case, Kathryn had a hard time feeling sorry for the girl. She knew from her own experience that sorry didn't go very far on this island. However, she also knew that things happened without them meaning too. This was a horrible situation for all of them.

Deciding that for now, it was better to keep quiet, she stepped back to give the boys sometime to process what had just happened.

[Deamon]

Sorry, that was the best Sean could do. An apology. That wasn't going to wipe away what had happened. The slate wasn't going to be magically wiped clean as long as Sean apologized. If Sean thought that he was delusional. Gray had always been scared that Sean was going to kill again. Ever since they had left the ship behind Gray had always thought that it was likely to happen. Now it was his responsibility to make sure it didn't happen again. It couldn't be allowed to happen again.

Sean said something about going to have a look around. Gray didn't know whether he honestly meant that he was going to have a look around and then come back or just run. Either way Gray couldn't let him just walk away from what he had done. It was his fault Sean had a gun in the first place. If he had never given him the gun back Sean would never have been able to shoot Ami and her death could have been avoided.

"Sean you can't just run away from this."

Gray still had the FAMAS held in one hand. He hadn't raised it and didn't plan on raising it unless he had too. Although he knew he would have to use it sooner rather than later.

[MK Kilmarnock]

Of course he couldn't run from this. He knew that. Even if he had, there was only so far he could run. They'd plinked it out on a map, scratching bits of it out with a pen nabbed from the school or maybe mussing it up with a spare pebble on the edge of some asphalt. As long as they could muss out the parts of the map that were permanently shut off to them they'd be able to visualize where they could go next, he and Grey. For a short while it was almost as if they had a plan or something.

Sean was aware he had thrown it away for some spur-of-the-moment bid of revenge. Much like a thought in the back of his head guessed, he didn't walk away from it feeling fulfilled or satisfied in any way. Ami had just crumpled and he paid her no mind beyond that, because not letting the gravity of the situation sink in, not letting himself fully acknowledge that he had killed somebody not out of defense or fear but because he wanted to... that was the only way he could keep going.

So of course he couldn't run from it.

"Yeah, Gray, I know," Sean said without turning around. He stared out at a line of trees on the edge of the park, slowly but surely encroaching on the gazebo. He slowly lifted the gun, just far enough to line it up with his pocket, then slid it back in. He had no way of knowing if that had panicked the two people behind him, as he never bothered to give them another look.

"But I think I can briskly walk from it. See you later."

Just because Sean couldn't run from it all didn't mean he wasn't going to try. He began walking away, neck tensed as he expected his body to be riddled with bullets any moment now. The student knew that Gray would never do something like that; the survivalist was screaming to run serpentine; the pirate said to shoot Gray first and steal his booty. Best way to get out of this mess. He listened to none of them, hoping for the best and expecting the worst.

[Arscapi*]

Kathryn blinked. "Did he really just do that?"

She turned to look at Gray. "He killed Ami and is now walking away like nothing happened?"

Kathryn wasn't sure what exactly should happen, but it seemed so anticlimactic. She watched as Sean neared the edge of the trees. "Do we follow?"

[Deamon]

Sean was still walking away. He thought he'd gotten away with it. Gray watched him, thinking through his options. Sean was making jokes and walking away from the murder he had committed. Gray used to consider Sean his friend. He was rethinking were he stood on their friendship rapidly. Kathryn looked at him and asked if Sean was just going to walk away. Gray made his decision and acted.

"No. We don't follow."

The bullets ripped across Sean's back as Gray squeezed the trigger on the FAMAS. The empty casings flying out into the grass. The roar of the gun rang in Gray's ears and his shoulder ached from the recoil. Lowering the FAMAS Gray looked at Sean's crumpled form in the grass in front of him. He rubbed the back of his neck, adjusted his beanie and sighed.

Then without another word he picked his pack up, turned and walked away.

((Gray Emerson continued in Under This Killing Moon))

[MK Kilmarnock]

When the bullets tore out the front of Sean's shirt, they took his voice with them. The ground rose to meet his face before the sound of the gunfire had finished ringing through his ears. Pain replaced a surprise that had no time to register, and now his hands clawed at the ground in a vain attempt to cope with the fire in his lungs.

No. It wasn't fire... it was a lot closer to water, as if he were under the surface and every gulp of air was instead just filling his lungs. A faint memory of a time in which his boat capsized and he nearly drowned in the Pacific crossed his mind. It was not a pleasurable experience, but he longed for it to replace this. His fingers grasped the earth again, pulling up dirt and filling his palms with it. It felt cold, when the rest of his body felt hot.

Where had the bullets come from? He was so sure Gray would never shoot him, but Kathryn didn't have a gun... not that he saw. It seemed more likely that she had been concealing a gun as opposed to Gray concealing a desire to kill. It didn't seem right... it didn't make sense. Nothing was making a lot of sense right now. Sean attempted to push off the ground with his dirt-covered palms. With no wind to him, he faltered and fell back onto his belly.

You couldn't have...

The first thought to register in the form of words crossed Sean's mind. The lost little pirate struggled to turn instead of pushing himself up. Not trusting himself to be able to sit up thanks to the new holes all over his body (how many were there... three? Four? Maybe just one?), he opted to pull himself along with only his right arm to slowly turn. Everything grew harder and harder to see by the moment, both from Sean's steady loss of consciousness and the tears involuntarily filling his eyes. He clamped his eyelids shut and yanked them open, a forceful way to wake. It was a technique he used to beat the alarm clock at least once.

Slowly, he turned. He could only see trees, the outline of the gazebo... and then Gray walking away.

Gray, with the gun at his side.

Gray shot him.

Whether or not he wanted to laugh or cry, he couldn't tell. The good news, he could assure himself, was that the pain was subsiding. His body was no longer shouting at him to plug the holes, caked in soil like the rest of his shirt's front. The bad, then, was that he was slowly fading to unconsciousness.

I'm dying.

He would have said it aloud and, indeed, he mouthed the words. Instead of any audible speech, only a faint gurgling sound passed Sean's lips, accompanied by a trickle of blood. To be painfully aware of the fact that he was dying... Sean was terrified. The rush of fear nearly brought him to his knees. He lunged out, reaching for a support that wasn't there, then fell once more face-first into the grass.

The world was kind to reprieve him of his fear shortly after that.

B028 - Mulcahy, Sean: DECEASED

[Arscapi*]

Kathryn froze physically and mentally. She couldn't process everything that had just happened. It was too much. First, she'd lost her teammates. Then, Sean killed someone right in front of her and then Gray had shot Sean. Gray, who she thought was Sean's friend, was the last person she'd ever thought would be capable of killing anyone. But now, now she was alone and surrounded by bodies.

She sank to the ground and curled into a ball. Tears poured down her cheeks and she made no attempt to stop them. Kathryn was done with this island, done with this whole situation. Maybe if she just lay here, the next psycho who came along would assume she was already dead and leave her alone.

[Arscapi*]

As she lay there, Kathryn began to reevaluate how she'd been getting by on this island. Maybe it was better if she scared people off. Confronted them with her small arsenal of weapons. Put them on the defensive, at least she'd start off in control of the situation. That sounded a lot better than the hesitant, cautious person she'd been lately. There couldn't be many of her classmates left, she might actually have a chance at going home. If she could herself together long enough.

Climbing to her feet, Kathryn picked a direction and headed off.

((Kathryn Nguyen continued in Get Ganked))