Columbus Day

[Fiori]

Life, as it seemed, always had it out for Shawn Bellamy.

Sure, at first glance he had it pretty good. His family were well off, he'd lived a life of relative luxury compared to most folks, and by all metrics he was a smart and healthy young man who still had his prime years ahead of him. But alas, lady luck sure knew how to throw one heck of a curve ball, or in this case a couple sucker punches to the gut. First his dad chose the worst possible time to start renovating La Blanche, which probably wouldn't have been so bad had his dear sweet mother not ended up in a car accident, which left his family relying on emergency funds for the foreseeable future. As such, some setbacks were needed, and unfortunately for poor young Shawn one of them would be his private education.

And so, here he was, fifteen years of age and sitting in a classroom at John Endecott Memorial. Apparently quite the prestigious little academy back in the day, according to his old man, but he could already tell it wasn't quite up to snuff. The standard of teaching was... Adequate, if perhaps a bit sloppy for his liking. Nor did he really care much for his classmates, mostly the same mix of slackers and snowflakes he was expecting to come across, though there were the odd good apples here or there. It wasn't awful by any stretch, but it still felt like a bit of a downgrade from what he was expecting.

Still, with any luck he wouldn't be attending JEM for too long. Once his mother had recovered and his old man got La Blanche up and running again, then it'd only be a matter of time until he was back to the standard of education befitting a young man of his potential. By early estimates his family should be back out of the red by around 2020, by which point business ought to be booming and his education back on track. Until then, all he had to do was keep his head held high and breeze through his brief stint at JEM, play the game long enough to get through this sour patch. And hey, whilst he was at it, he may as well show off a little.

He was attending history at that time, and his teacher Mr Jordan - though quite the affable character - was a bit too lackadaisical for his liking, seemingly happy to let any old slacker sit in on his lessons and distract the classroom with their banter. The rest of his classmates seemed to like him well enough though, and to his credit he seemed to know his stuff. But, so did Shawn, or so he liked to remind everyone whenever the opportunity revealed itself. And sure enough, one of those opportunities was just around the corner.

As it just so happened, it was Columbus Day, a quote-on-quote "holiday" that Shawn never really saw the point of himself. Sure, the man's actions ultimately led to the colonisation of the Americas, but last he checked that sort of thing went out of vogue years ago. Nor was he even the first European to discover the Americas, that of course being Mr Erikson, but he doubted most of his classmates would be aware of that. So obviously, when Mr Jordan asked the classroom to inform him of who Columbus was, Shawn saw it as the perfect opportunity to rectify that.

"Ah, yes, Shawn is it?" asked Mr Jordan, Shawn standing up before Mr Jordan even finished addressing him. "What can you tell us about Christopher Columbus?"

With a knowing smirk on his face, Shawn would adjust his glasses and clear his throat. "Christopher Columbus was a famous Spanish explorer credited with discovering the Americas in 1494, after setting off on a voyage to prove that the world isn't flat..." he'd begin, pausing for effect before continuing. "Or at least, that's what they like to tell you in preschool... In reality, he was trying to discover a new trade route to Asia, as pretty much everyone and their mothers already knew the world was round at that point. In fact, he didn't even realise at first that he'd discovered a new landmass, instead assuming they had landed in India! Hence, fun fact, why Native Americans used to be referred to as Indians..."

Mr Jordan looked as though he was about to say something, when Shawn continued to talk, not done showing off just yet. "Of course, he teeeechnically wasn't the first man to discover the Americas... Well, European man anyway, if we're including the people who were already living there... That of course would be Leif Erikson, who beat Columbus to the punch four hundred years earlier!"

He'd then turn to the rest of his class. "Kinda makes you wonder why we celebrate Columbus Day at all, really. Maybe some folk just really get a kick out of celebrating the lives of slavers and colonialists... Hey, who am I to judge?"

Having said his piece with a shrug, Shawn was about to sit back down behind his desk with an arrogant grin on his face, when another boy in the class rose his hand behind him.

"Ah, yes Connor?" asked Mr Jordan, Shawn turning around to see an all-too familiar figure sitting at a desk near the back. Connor was a perfect example of the kind of students whose guts he despised: Lazy, good-for-nothing, poorly dressed and ill mannered. He often used Mr Jordan's classes as an excuse to skip his own, just sitting back in his chair with his arms crossed, only half-paying attention to what was going on. The fact that it was pretty much an open secret that he regularly smoked weed didn't exactly do him any favours either.

"Yeah, uh..." said Connor, scratching the back of his head. "Columbus was Italian, dude."

Shawn blinked. "No... He was Spanish"

Connor shook his head. "Nah man, Columbus was totally Italian"

Shawn let out a nervous laugh, ignoring his niggling sense of doubt as he began to double down. There was no way after all that a guy like Connor could be right instead of him, that would be... Well, that just wasn't possible. "So, what, are you telling me it was the Italians who colonised south and central America? Last I checked they serve burritos at Chipotle, not spaghetti..."

"I never said they didn't!" replied Connor, laying back in his chair. "But, like... You ever been to a Columbus Day parade? There's Italian flags everywhere, my dude"

Shawn scoffed, unable to believe this stoner's audacity. Of course, he'd never been to a Columbus Day parade, but he hardly saw why that would make any difference. "I'm sorry, but... Is this even your class? The hell makes you think you know more about this subject than I- than WE do? Columbus discovered the new world and kicked off Spanish colonisation of the Americas, therefore Columbus was Spanish! Hell, what language do you think they speak down in Colombia? Oh, that's right, SPANISH! Trying thinking before you speak, next time..."

"Um..." said Mr Jordan, who as much as he appreciated class discussion, could see that if left unabated that this could have ballooned into something more than it needed to be. "Actually, Shawn, he's not wrong."

"I... What?" said Shawn, turning back to Mr Jordan.

"Well, whilst it's true he was funded by the Spanish, Columbus himself was Italian" Mr Jordan would continue, giving Connor an appreciative nod. "Indeed though it's not without it's detractors, nowadays Columbus Day is mostly recognised by Italian-Americans, who see it as a holiday celebrating their arrival in America."

Shawn blinked. He was about to say something, when he reached into his pocket to fetch his phone, rapidly searching it up on Google to check the facts. After some quick googling, Shawn's expression would drop as he slowly sank back down into his seat, much to the bemusement of several of his classmates. Connor was right. Christopher Columbus was Italian. And worse yet, deep down, he was sure he already knew that. He just slipped up and refused to admit he was wrong, that he could have possibly bungled such a well known fact in front of the entire class.

He'd spend the rest of that lesson in silence, seething and humiliated, unable to believe that some slacker of all people had corrected him! HIM! Who the hell did that dipshit think he was?!? Lazy bastard probably had the reading age of a five year old, and he had the gall to call him out? Make him look like an idiot to the rest of class? God, he was never going to hear the end of this, was he? Outsmarted by a fucking stoner. Unbelievable.

Well... We'll just have to see about that, now won't we?


Several weeks later, Shawn would find himself at the school library, searching through the historical section for a book on the Cold War so that he could do a bit of premeditated revision.

There weren't too many folk in the library that afternoon. There was a Chinese girl, Casey or something, reading a comic book in the corner. There was some girl with an ugly haircut chatting to her friends, reading what looked like a book about ghost hauntings? Mkay, whatever. And there were a bunch of slacker types who weren't even reading anything, of course, whom he'd make a conscious effort to sit as far away from as possible.

But, as he found the right book and made his way to his favourite nook, he'd overhear something that made him pause for thought.

"Holy shit, did you hear about Connor?"
"What? No, what happened?"
"Someone went full narc and got him expelled!"
"What?!? No way, over smoking a couple joints?"
"Worse than that, they had evidence he'd been sharing 'em out, said that made him a dealer!"
"Oh, dude, that is fucked. Who the hell would wanna snitch on Connor?"

After a moment's pause, Shawn would continue over to his favourite little quiet spot, fetch his phone out from his pocket, put on some earphones and begin to play his favourite jazz compilation as his lips curled into a self-satisfied grin.

Aaah... Harmony at last.