There was a steady hum of noise from the occupants of The Cell, a buzz reminiscent of bees in a hive. They were likely all as warm as working bees would have been, too. The Cell being what it was—and that was a venue located down a graffitied set of stairs underneath another altogether separate ...

((Charlie Girl continued from Public Service Announcement ))

"One! Two! Don't make me spit on you!" Charlie Girl sang to herself as she made her way over to the pool. She had her headphones over her ears and her swimsuit on, as she was getting ready to do some practice laps. They were not ...

Charlie Girl raised one eyebrow and gave a nod of agreement.

"Yeah, it does, that's true." She said with a small. Then after a quick time check on her phone, she started backpedaling away from Zara.

Not because she smelled or anything, but because she had a schedule she had to keep and she wanted ...

Hey Pippi! Alejandro is looking very good right now, and only needs to have some small edits before he'll be good to go.

Does Alejandro have a weight?

and a mouth which generally forms a warm smile. That generally.

Alejandro is the middle child of Javier and Beatriz, Minor thing but can we add ...

Hey Zetsu! Vivian is looking really good right now, we just have some small grammer and expansion edits before she'll be ready to go! You're an experience hand at this so I don't think it should take you too long.

Vivian’s outfits are strongly influenced by decora fashion While I personally don't ...

Alright, Lily is looking better than the last cycle and some of the problems have been fixed. But we still have some work to do before Lily will be ready for the game proper. The main thing I think you should focus on when making your edits this go around is to make sure you are matching the ...

Ok, apologies for the delay just a few smaller things I saw in the read-through that need to be hit on this pass.

She was initially charged with First Degree Attempted Murder First-degree.

the other confounding evidence in her favor, I think you mean compounding here, rather than confounding ...

There were numerous squeaks from sneakers and shouts from young mouths as the two teams rushed up and down the basketball court, trying to boost their own score high enough that when the final buzzer went to end the proceedings they would be declared the winners. Carolina had gone through the same ...

Ok, Beel is looking much better and we're just looking at some general edits and some couple bits of expansion before she'll be ready to go.

Her body is cello shaped Cello-shaped.


Her face is oval shaped Oval-shaped.


When did Beel get her piercings, as she would need to be over the age of 18 ...

Edited!

I also took the liberty of specifying that her interest is in tabletop roleplaying specifically in the hobbies list.

Good catch with that as I had not thought to ask for it.

APPROVED

Hey there DeBlod! I'll be critiquing Joanne for you! Presently she's a decent start but we need to tighten and tidy things up and sort out some details within the profile itself before we'll be good to go. I go into it during the critique but you have a bad habit of using extraneous words, so I want ...

Hey NoLife! Good to see you'll be joining us for V9! I've taken a look at Lily for you and my critique can be found below. But I will warn you that currently Lily is going to require some heavy edits before she'll be ready to go into the game. I explain why in more detail below and give you some ...