Florrie Wen

[Yonagoda]

Name: Tian Shu “Florrie” Wen
Gender: Female
Age: 18
Grade: 12
Hobbies and Interests: Engineering and physics, item collections, reading, badminton

Appearance: Tall, especially for a girl of East Asian descent, Florrie stands at 5'9 and 145 pounds, distributed evenly through a triangular frame. Her natural beige skin is free of pimples and blemishes, and kept fair through both careful application of sunscreen and an indoors lifestyle. She has a sharp and flat face with low, protruding cheekbones, a short, low-bridged nose, and a triangular chin. Her brows are straight and plucked, sitting above dark mono-lidded eyes and a pouty mouth. Defaulting to a neutral smile most of the time, Florrie is inexpressive with her facial language.

She keeps her dark hair straight and long, and her nails french manicured. She usually employs a natural-looking makeup style. Florrie has a fondness for cute accessories, which she has a large collection of, and Chinese-inspired clothing and styles. She has a preference for neutral or pastel palettes.

On the day of the abduction, Florrie was wearing a beige sweater vest with a watercolor-esque design of a sparrow on a branch, a white, loose sleeved button-up blouse with floral embroidery, an ankle-length brown skirt, and a brown headband with a knitted green sprout. She had white, plastic bunny-themed earrings, two scrunchies on her wrists, and several pins on her vest.

Biography: Tian Shu was born in Nevada to her father Tian Xing, an architect, and her mother Julia, also known as Hua Chen, a business operations manager. The rest of the extended family lives in Shandong, China. Florrie was described as cheerful, though a tad shy, as a little girl.

She had a natural affinity for academics and was recognized as a gifted child early on, an identity that was corroborated by her performance in various academic competitions. This is an identity that she heavily internalized. Her parents were not particularly strict, but were somewhat overprotective. They believe, in retrospect, that she was a little too spoiled, especially materialistically.

Her general childhood was uneventful. She was considered nerdy by her classmates and liked to read; her favorite class was English. However, she struggled when it came to fiction and literary analysis. She has trouble connecting to literature and media, especially characters, and often finds herself not understanding the apparent themes in them unless she was guided. Even now, she finds it shameful that she cannot truly “get” popular and classical works, which ran counter to her intellectual self-image. Instead, Florrie had an early passion for the sciences. She finds comfort in objectivity, especially when it comes to grading.

Florrie’s interest in physics specifically was started by her parents giving her a poster of the planets in elementary school, which drove her initially to read about astronomy, before moving on to the space race and rocketry, driven by a book of experiments for children. Her parents were initially unnerved by her trying to build balloon rockets and such in the living room, but eventually grew to encourage her, buying her kits and materials. She bonds with her father over assembling her projects together.

Aside from machinery that she built, she has amassed a large collection of trinkets and clothing barely worn. She shops regularly both online and in person for jewelry, pins, pens, stickers, and other small novelty items. Because of this, she is worried about her own hoarding tendency and the possibility of a future where her income might not catch up to her spending habits, even though money shouldn’t theoretically be a problem for her anytime soon. Her main issue actually appears to be the constant lack of space for her projects, especially since she got a 3D printer. Her parents go behind her back at times to throw her older things out due to her refusal to let them go, which became a common point of conflict.

Florrie enjoys a structured lifestyle and generally devotes a large part of her schedule to studying. She credits at least part of her success in school to the fact that she did not have technology access as a child, and generally keeps off of social media except for reading articles, posting in hobby-based forums, and communicating with her classmates and friends. A downside to her general rigidity in life is that she becomes anxious and prone to freaking out when things don’t go the way she expects them to. Otherwise, she is generally described as mature and precocious, which she carried with her since childhood.

She tends to enjoy occupying her free time in one way or another and detests boredom and inactivity. She does sports- badminton chief among them- and tries to stay active out of habit even though she does not enjoy physical activity too much. She tends to carry a book with her wherever she goes so she can read while waiting or if there is an opening in her schedule. She considers watching shows to be a guilty pleasure, but does occasionally enjoy reality TV.

At school, she is thought of as being well put-together, polite, and a bit of a teacher’s pet to a slightly annoying degree, but otherwise inoffensive. Florrie sometimes struggles to handle interpersonal stress and becomes conflict-averse if she suspects that an interaction can go badly, a trait that goes against the appearance of calm and maturity that she wants to project. She has few close friendships, but values those she does have. Florrie generally considers herself to be very neutral when it comes to politics and even matters of art and personal taste. Her somewhat unopinionated nature is both what allows her to get along well with others and what makes it difficult to establish a relationship deeper than just rapport. She feels somewhat lonely, but thinks that she is too busy with college applications and school to worry about it at the moment.

Advantages: Florrie is controlled, intelligent, and sets herself to a high standard. She is good with her hands and is in decent physical condition.
Disadvantages: Florrie works best in a predictable, scheduled environment that the conditions of the game will not be able to provide. She has lived a cushy life, and needs material comforts.

[Ruggahissy]

Hello there, Yona. I'll be your critiquer for this profile. Come with me on a magical but also pretty quick journey.


- I see Florrie Wen in the topic title but in the bio its Tian Shu “Florrie” Wen, so the title should be Tian Shu "Florrie" Wen or Tian Shu Wen since that is her name and Florrie is a nickname.

Tall, especially for a girl of East Asian descent, Florrie stands at 5'9 and 145 pounds, distributed evenly through a triangular frame.

- I guess it still sort of makes sense but probably would be easier to read as "with fat distributed evenly throughout a triangular frame" if that is what that means.

Her natural beige skin is free of pimples and blemishes

- The use of "natural" is a bit odd here.

She has a sharp and flat face with low, protruding cheekbones, a short, low-bridged nose, and a triangular chin.

- Grammar thing but when you have a list of things with phrases offset by commas within the list, you use semicolons. So "She has a sharp and flat face with low, protruding cheekbones; a short, low-bridged nose; and a triangular chin.

She keeps her dark hair straight and long, and her nails french manicured

- Capital F on French manicured.

Aside from machinery that she built, she has amassed a large collection of trinkets and clothing barely worn.

- This would probably read better as "and barely worn clothing."

- Is there anything she looks for in the items she collects? Does she pay for these out of just an allowance? Where does she put her items?

- What does Florrie want to do after high school? I know college applications were mentioned.

- What's her relationship like with her parents?

She has lived a cushy life, and needs material comforts.

- "Cushy" might be a little informal. Comfortable?

- Also in this section, is she in better shape than average?

- Can I get a bit of information about what it is she likes to read aside from news articles and why she likes her books of choice?

- Similarly I'd like a bit of information on badminton. Why badminton? How did she get started on it, why does she like it, and where is she playing?

- Where does her nickname come from?

That's about it. Please post when edits are done!