Mortimer appears in his regular clothing, to which he has the mannequin with the severed chocolate head of the Statue of Liberty attached, to which the head wears a fake wig and some sunglasses to "blend in". He stands with the mannequin in front of the world's largest chocolate fountain.
"There are no notable restaurants I can pinpoint, but if you want to see more showing off from the Bellagio, they even have a chocolate fountain here! And it's supposed to also be one in the record books for its size. It's a showcase for a pastry shop by a famous pastry chef named Jean-Philippe Maury, who has this avant-garde waterfall of chocolate, both white and brown in form and taste, going down ledges. They will have anything fancy for patrons and tourists, but here's a kicker that really shows how gilded this place can be."
Mortimer appears in a hotel room in the Bellagio.
"In terms of room quality, it's very standard! Nothing is remarkable, really." Mortimer goes to the mini-fridge to try to get himself a drink.
"They go on to pitch that this luxury hotel would have everything to feel like a masterpiece of marble and gold, but they can't do anything special for every room without inflating their budgets. There are still suites to-" Mortimer paused when he opened the mini-fridge, to which a repulsive stench filled his nose.
He looked in to see someone had left their takeout lunch in the fridge to rot. "ARGHHH!!!" he immediately covered his nose and mouth.
"The hotel staff can be lazy, too!"
Traveler's Guide to Las Vegas: Written by a Local Lunatic
Multi-shot displaced from any sense of time and space... (Content warnings found on top post)
Mortimer takes you, the reader, down a dark alley.
"Alright, before we go to our 7th hotel, I have done some tests with my super secret microphones and cameras that I have imprinted on your clothing while you weren't looking and my results here..." Mortimer pulls out a random lab coat, to which he has nerd glasses on, and a clipboard.
"Shows that you are in requirement for 2000's vibes." Mortimer says to you.
You don't know what Mortimer is even talking about-
"Hang on." Mortimer sees something behind you. "Are we next to the Trump hotel? That might be on the list." Mortimer points behind you.
You turn around to see that you're nowhere even close to the Trump hotel.
Why is Mortimer lying-
You didn't have time to react, when a dark sack goes over your head and you feel yourself being choked out into unconsciousness...
"Alright, before we go to our 7th hotel, I have done some tests with my super secret microphones and cameras that I have imprinted on your clothing while you weren't looking and my results here..." Mortimer pulls out a random lab coat, to which he has nerd glasses on, and a clipboard.
"Shows that you are in requirement for 2000's vibes." Mortimer says to you.
You don't know what Mortimer is even talking about-
"Hang on." Mortimer sees something behind you. "Are we next to the Trump hotel? That might be on the list." Mortimer points behind you.
You turn around to see that you're nowhere even close to the Trump hotel.
Why is Mortimer lying-
You didn't have time to react, when a dark sack goes over your head and you feel yourself being choked out into unconsciousness...
You wake up, mainly because Mortimer is keeping your eyes open with small hooks in the same vein as Clockwork Orange.
You're strapped in a chair with restraints tying your arms and legs down. You don't even get to move your hands, because Mortimer glued them to the armrests with duct tape.
In front of you in a dark room is a large TV that you are focused on.
"So... this might seem a little... excessive. But the late zoomers need to know the importance of the 2000's lifestyle and generation. Especially the early 00's vibe!"
He gets out a remote that he starts to get a video playing.
"Now, I can have you watch Bubble Tape commercials non-sense. Even the ones from the 90's, but it's important to get a full taste of the 00's." Mortimer plays the video.
You are subjected to the most white violently 2001-2002 clip that you even seen.
You feel true fear.
You're strapped in a chair with restraints tying your arms and legs down. You don't even get to move your hands, because Mortimer glued them to the armrests with duct tape.
In front of you in a dark room is a large TV that you are focused on.
"So... this might seem a little... excessive. But the late zoomers need to know the importance of the 2000's lifestyle and generation. Especially the early 00's vibe!"
He gets out a remote that he starts to get a video playing.
"Now, I can have you watch Bubble Tape commercials non-sense. Even the ones from the 90's, but it's important to get a full taste of the 00's." Mortimer plays the video.
You are subjected to the most white violently 2001-2002 clip that you even seen.
You feel true fear.
After some other videos, Mortimer let out and go and the first thing that you did was hack up bile from your mouth, coughing it up with blood into a toilet.
Mortimer gives you a head pat, though you have the feeling that you want to skin your own pets alive.
Mortimer gives you a head pat, though you have the feeling that you want to skin your own pets alive.
Mortimer's 10 Hotels - Number 7 - The "Best" Hotel
Mortimer appears in front of the Venetian hotel.
"I don't usually decide on what is technically the best hotel on the Las Vegas strip, since whenever you ask someone, they will have a completely different answer. My answer to what is considered the best hotel on the Strip? I will choose the Venetian."
Mortimer appears in the lobby, in front of the armillary sphere.
"Continuing Las Vegas's enjoyment of Italy, we have gone from Lake Como to Venice. Just like the Bellagio, the hotel doesn't hold back. You got Renaissance paintings, frescos, recreations of monuments in Venice, Italy. There is the Palazzo that's connected to the Venetian, but I'm only covering the latter, even though both can be similar."
Mortimer appears in the middle of an indoor St. Marks Square. There are some performers currently playing some Italian instruments, while some people watch.
"Last time I was in here, there was a Batman mannequin in one of the windows. Now, this is where things are interesting, because like most hotels and shops, it always feels like you're in a theme park from how immersive the interiors are. But what's the most fascinating is the need to have this to seal in the Venice deal!" Mortimer directs the reader to the gondola boats that go by. "In both outdoors and indoors, you can ride on a gondola boat. Best done for families or for romantic couples."
Mortimer sits on a gondola boat with his chocolate headed mannequin, while the gondola rower sings a Frank Sinatra song in Italian, though some of the words are in English.
"You can find almost every fancy store in here that sells high-priced merchandise. Even restaurants that you can eat at, where they also have views of the canals. There is a lot of options here, though I'm saving a real main attraction for last."
Mortimer appears in front of the Venetian hotel.
"I don't usually decide on what is technically the best hotel on the Las Vegas strip, since whenever you ask someone, they will have a completely different answer. My answer to what is considered the best hotel on the Strip? I will choose the Venetian."
Mortimer appears in the lobby, in front of the armillary sphere.
"Continuing Las Vegas's enjoyment of Italy, we have gone from Lake Como to Venice. Just like the Bellagio, the hotel doesn't hold back. You got Renaissance paintings, frescos, recreations of monuments in Venice, Italy. There is the Palazzo that's connected to the Venetian, but I'm only covering the latter, even though both can be similar."
Mortimer appears in the middle of an indoor St. Marks Square. There are some performers currently playing some Italian instruments, while some people watch.
"Last time I was in here, there was a Batman mannequin in one of the windows. Now, this is where things are interesting, because like most hotels and shops, it always feels like you're in a theme park from how immersive the interiors are. But what's the most fascinating is the need to have this to seal in the Venice deal!" Mortimer directs the reader to the gondola boats that go by. "In both outdoors and indoors, you can ride on a gondola boat. Best done for families or for romantic couples."
Mortimer sits on a gondola boat with his chocolate headed mannequin, while the gondola rower sings a Frank Sinatra song in Italian, though some of the words are in English.
"You can find almost every fancy store in here that sells high-priced merchandise. Even restaurants that you can eat at, where they also have views of the canals. There is a lot of options here, though I'm saving a real main attraction for last."
Mortimer appears inside of a hotel room of the Venetian.
"Now, you know how I criticized the Bellagio for having a room that was too standard to match up with its luxurious design. Your wish is actually granted here." Mortimer made sure to not trip over the step in the room.
"This isn't a joke. Every room is treated as a suite, even the actual suites, which become much bigger. You have a steep pay to get a standard room here, but compared to the other rooms that have been mentioned, it's worth it. Yes, you want to come here to gamble or watch a show or get drunk and stoned, but if you really want a mega vacation in Vegas, you can stay here. Keeps you feeling like you're on your 15 minutes of fame here."
Mortimer appears at the Yardbird restaurant that is found in the Venetian.
There is a few places that I can also recommend, to which I will point out the Yardbird. Normally, real Southern food comes from the source, but you can get yourself some fried chicken here, along with some traditional chicken and waffles, including grits."
Mortimer appears at another location, which is the TAO Asian Bistro and Nightclub, where he helps himself to a giant fortune cookie for New Year's.
"Another eatery that I can point out is the TAO Asian Bistro and Nightclub. They have a good sea bass appetizer and filet mignon like every steakhouse that you can eat for dinner. Of course, the giant Buddha statue is part of a specialty with this place, since it's a popular nightclub that has the A-listers and the DJs mingle here."
Mortimer uses a fake ID to order a cocktail. He receives one and takes a sip.
"Now, you know how I criticized the Bellagio for having a room that was too standard to match up with its luxurious design. Your wish is actually granted here." Mortimer made sure to not trip over the step in the room.
"This isn't a joke. Every room is treated as a suite, even the actual suites, which become much bigger. You have a steep pay to get a standard room here, but compared to the other rooms that have been mentioned, it's worth it. Yes, you want to come here to gamble or watch a show or get drunk and stoned, but if you really want a mega vacation in Vegas, you can stay here. Keeps you feeling like you're on your 15 minutes of fame here."
Mortimer appears at the Yardbird restaurant that is found in the Venetian.
There is a few places that I can also recommend, to which I will point out the Yardbird. Normally, real Southern food comes from the source, but you can get yourself some fried chicken here, along with some traditional chicken and waffles, including grits."
Mortimer appears at another location, which is the TAO Asian Bistro and Nightclub, where he helps himself to a giant fortune cookie for New Year's.
"Another eatery that I can point out is the TAO Asian Bistro and Nightclub. They have a good sea bass appetizer and filet mignon like every steakhouse that you can eat for dinner. Of course, the giant Buddha statue is part of a specialty with this place, since it's a popular nightclub that has the A-listers and the DJs mingle here."
Mortimer uses a fake ID to order a cocktail. He receives one and takes a sip.
((Extra CW Warning for being politically incorrect))
Mortimer appears in the TAO nightclub again, visibly drunk and talking to some woman who is in a bathtub full of roses.
"Let me tell ya! Philadelphia is a horrible fucking place! They like to kill black people by bombing them. They even had a guy shoot himself in front of national TV. They don't say that shit in the textbooks, because they are also covering up the fact that they killed those Indians with their colonial bullshit." Mortimer would spew some random stuff, though the alcohol was making me loose lipped. The woman in the tub tries to ignore him.
"No! Let me say that the CIA made the drug cartels! They were even planning on doing their own 9/11 before 9/11 even happened back at the 60's. That's why they had Kennedy killed, because he said no. President Kirby has also been dead since 1993. His body is actually in the Rushmore monument, where the city of gold is at. You see those stories about him standing there, but he isn't really there. They made him a VTuber with CGI."
Mortimer gets shoved away, where he stumbles around the dance floor.
"He-e-HEY! HEY! Listen!" Mortimer tries to talk to someone. "They are covering up what happened back at East Palestine, Ohio and arresting journos, then killing them in fake suicides!" Mortimer also gets shoved away, before he talks to the reader.
"You know why the news is happy to report that we should approve of genocide? Like.. like isn't genocide a bad thing? Isn't killing a bad thing? Why are we approving of killing other people? Just because the government means we shouldn't approve." Mortimer said, until he pukes onto your shoes. "Hey listen.... listen!" Mortimer grabs at you, before you try to leave.
"C'mon, dawg! Hip hip yippee kay ah, as they say. You're my friend! We can all be friends! Why can't we all be friends? What the fuck happened to world peace? Why are all of those pedophiles still getting rich? Every one also knows that Jeff Bezos likes to overwork people and he sent the Pinkertons to kill off the commies scum. And what about that.... Cybertruck guy? I forgot his name... you remember his name. He's just a LARPer. I don't know why we have a LARPer who is also making explosive cars..."
Mortimer slumps to the side, collapsing onto the dance floor.
Mortimer appears in the TAO nightclub again, visibly drunk and talking to some woman who is in a bathtub full of roses.
"Let me tell ya! Philadelphia is a horrible fucking place! They like to kill black people by bombing them. They even had a guy shoot himself in front of national TV. They don't say that shit in the textbooks, because they are also covering up the fact that they killed those Indians with their colonial bullshit." Mortimer would spew some random stuff, though the alcohol was making me loose lipped. The woman in the tub tries to ignore him.
"No! Let me say that the CIA made the drug cartels! They were even planning on doing their own 9/11 before 9/11 even happened back at the 60's. That's why they had Kennedy killed, because he said no. President Kirby has also been dead since 1993. His body is actually in the Rushmore monument, where the city of gold is at. You see those stories about him standing there, but he isn't really there. They made him a VTuber with CGI."
Mortimer gets shoved away, where he stumbles around the dance floor.
"He-e-HEY! HEY! Listen!" Mortimer tries to talk to someone. "They are covering up what happened back at East Palestine, Ohio and arresting journos, then killing them in fake suicides!" Mortimer also gets shoved away, before he talks to the reader.
"You know why the news is happy to report that we should approve of genocide? Like.. like isn't genocide a bad thing? Isn't killing a bad thing? Why are we approving of killing other people? Just because the government means we shouldn't approve." Mortimer said, until he pukes onto your shoes. "Hey listen.... listen!" Mortimer grabs at you, before you try to leave.
"C'mon, dawg! Hip hip yippee kay ah, as they say. You're my friend! We can all be friends! Why can't we all be friends? What the fuck happened to world peace? Why are all of those pedophiles still getting rich? Every one also knows that Jeff Bezos likes to overwork people and he sent the Pinkertons to kill off the commies scum. And what about that.... Cybertruck guy? I forgot his name... you remember his name. He's just a LARPer. I don't know why we have a LARPer who is also making explosive cars..."
Mortimer slumps to the side, collapsing onto the dance floor.
Mortimer is getting himself thrown out of the nightclub by some bouncers.
He's going hysterical.
"MARVIN HEEMEYER AND SHAWN NELSON DID NOTHING FUCKING WRONG! YOU HEAR ME! THEN, THERE WERE THOSE FUCKS WHO TRYING TO BLOW UP BIG BIRD IN THAT SHUTTLE!"
Mortimer gets literally thrown into the ground in front of nightclub entrance, while he wallows to himself.
He's going hysterical.
"MARVIN HEEMEYER AND SHAWN NELSON DID NOTHING FUCKING WRONG! YOU HEAR ME! THEN, THERE WERE THOSE FUCKS WHO TRYING TO BLOW UP BIG BIRD IN THAT SHUTTLE!"
Mortimer gets literally thrown into the ground in front of nightclub entrance, while he wallows to himself.
Mortimer is found hunched over the railing at the Rialto Bridge recreation above the road. You the reader finds him there, completely hungover. You help him off the railing, so he didn't try to deliberately fall off the bridge and crack his head.
"Ughhh..."
He ends up on the ground in front of you.
You recommend some breakfast, but his face looks green.
"No! Not breakfast! Ughhhh.. I puke... Tea. Need some ginger tea." Mortimer starts to get up, clutching his stomach. "Fuck... I feel like I'm going to get a heat stroke... Come! I know a place."
Mortimer uses his powers to appear at the minus5 ICEBAR.
He immediately stumbles in and allows the cold air to cover his body. "Ahhh..." he feels better, until his legs begin to shiver. "Bad day to wear shorts..."
Later, Mortimer feeling much better, wears a parka with some gloves. He is drinking from a glass made out of ice, where he has ginger tea in it.
"Before I gotten completely drunk, I forgotten to mention the minus5 ice bar that you can go in. There are many ice bars around Las Vegas, but you can find one here back at the Grand Canal Shoppes. It has a lot of ice sculptures to check out, including if you want to take a shot through some ice tits, along with an ice throne." Mortimer takes a sip of his tea with the ice glass, setting it down on the table.
"Of course, there is other ways to cool down less dramatically, since as going to the pools, but it's better than staying outside in the middle of the desert heat. You just need to make sure to put your drink on the coasters at this bar or your glass will fuse with the tables." Mortimer said, trying to pick up his glass, but he saw that it had fused directly to the table. He had missed the coaster entirely.
"Ha ha..." Mortimer gave a soft chuckle, before he tried to rip his glass off of the ice table. He tries with both hands, until it plops off the table, sending Mortimer back to the floor suddenly.
"Ughhh..."
He ends up on the ground in front of you.
You recommend some breakfast, but his face looks green.
"No! Not breakfast! Ughhhh.. I puke... Tea. Need some ginger tea." Mortimer starts to get up, clutching his stomach. "Fuck... I feel like I'm going to get a heat stroke... Come! I know a place."
Mortimer uses his powers to appear at the minus5 ICEBAR.
He immediately stumbles in and allows the cold air to cover his body. "Ahhh..." he feels better, until his legs begin to shiver. "Bad day to wear shorts..."
Later, Mortimer feeling much better, wears a parka with some gloves. He is drinking from a glass made out of ice, where he has ginger tea in it.
"Before I gotten completely drunk, I forgotten to mention the minus5 ice bar that you can go in. There are many ice bars around Las Vegas, but you can find one here back at the Grand Canal Shoppes. It has a lot of ice sculptures to check out, including if you want to take a shot through some ice tits, along with an ice throne." Mortimer takes a sip of his tea with the ice glass, setting it down on the table.
"Of course, there is other ways to cool down less dramatically, since as going to the pools, but it's better than staying outside in the middle of the desert heat. You just need to make sure to put your drink on the coasters at this bar or your glass will fuse with the tables." Mortimer said, trying to pick up his glass, but he saw that it had fused directly to the table. He had missed the coaster entirely.
"Ha ha..." Mortimer gave a soft chuckle, before he tried to rip his glass off of the ice table. He tries with both hands, until it plops off the table, sending Mortimer back to the floor suddenly.
Mortimer appears in the middle of the Venetian Expo Center, where he makes sure his Nike shoes are on tight.
"Are you ready to walk 1,000 steps?" Mortimer asks the reader. "It's not a Las Vegas guide without mentioning the obvious. You know what I might be talking about. Recently, since the hotel is next to it, the Venetian made sure to make a long ass path to get there."
Mortimer starts walking down the halls, knowing the answer.
"You know the answer, too. It's the Sphere.
It's a 2.3 billion dollar monstrosity. But was it worth it? You know the jest of what benefits a giant sphere of LED lights can do for nearby hotel. Any room with a view to the Sphere gets charged extra. It's not enough to see it up close. People want to see their massive planet that has crashed into Earth, like how the dinosaurs reacted to the meteor that killed them all and brought in an era of ash."
Mortimer speeds up the process by having him and the reader appear directly in front of the Sphere.
No visuals on the Sphere is the same. First, it shows advertisements for the Sphere itself. Then, it shows diamonds and crystals. Then, it shows Mars.
"Take a good long look at this eyesore. When you're a tourist, you amazed by it. When you're a local, you grow sick and tired of looking at it. Better than seeing a giant erect dick going up to the skies, but this thing glows! There were plans to have a second Sphere in London, but people complained about the light pollution that it could cause. So now, there is supposed to be another Sphere in the middle of Abu Dhabi. Not Dubai. However, knowing the United Arab Emigrates... it makes sense for them to use their random large amount of money from their oil fields to build more random shit. The benefits that the billionaires from the Middle East more redeemable than your typical asshole billionaire is that they still have something to do. They are more focused on the journey, than the destination."
The Sphere shows more things. Many basketballs in one. Water rippling in a perfect circle. The blue skies with clouds that clash against the night sky. Earth.
The Sphere turns into a giant eyeball, which looks at Mortimer, who looks depressed.
He takes a deep breath and tries to continue.
"You ever go to the desert? All the way over to where the city doesn't dwell? You look up to the sky. Those rare parts that aren't polluted by light. You wonder what's up in the Milky Way? Among all of those stars. Stars that the cities don't show you? You know, when you're a local, you don't get the duty to tell the folks who come here about what's wrong... Just... I want to know what's wrong."
The Sphere begins to become yellow, to which it shifts into an emoji that looks at Mortimer.
"You ever read or watch a dystopia story? One that shows how not we were supposed to live in this world? How everything is meant to be like a cyberpunk mishmash or 1984? Those were realities that can be more preferable, because we know how to fix them. Something excitable. Something that isn't dull... You know why it's dull. You think it would be fun that those who are able to ruin countries and cities can make dystopias that can be ripped off of fiction. The problem... they know how to make it bad for us. They make it empty and lifeless."
The glow from the Sphere intensifies. Mortimer turns around to see the emoji of the Sphere looking down at him, playfully. Almost like that one scene from Blade Runner 2049, Mortimer just stares at the Sphere. It looks back at him.
Mortimer raises an arm towards it, before he lowers it.
"Are you ready to walk 1,000 steps?" Mortimer asks the reader. "It's not a Las Vegas guide without mentioning the obvious. You know what I might be talking about. Recently, since the hotel is next to it, the Venetian made sure to make a long ass path to get there."
Mortimer starts walking down the halls, knowing the answer.
"You know the answer, too. It's the Sphere.
It's a 2.3 billion dollar monstrosity. But was it worth it? You know the jest of what benefits a giant sphere of LED lights can do for nearby hotel. Any room with a view to the Sphere gets charged extra. It's not enough to see it up close. People want to see their massive planet that has crashed into Earth, like how the dinosaurs reacted to the meteor that killed them all and brought in an era of ash."
Mortimer speeds up the process by having him and the reader appear directly in front of the Sphere.
No visuals on the Sphere is the same. First, it shows advertisements for the Sphere itself. Then, it shows diamonds and crystals. Then, it shows Mars.
"Take a good long look at this eyesore. When you're a tourist, you amazed by it. When you're a local, you grow sick and tired of looking at it. Better than seeing a giant erect dick going up to the skies, but this thing glows! There were plans to have a second Sphere in London, but people complained about the light pollution that it could cause. So now, there is supposed to be another Sphere in the middle of Abu Dhabi. Not Dubai. However, knowing the United Arab Emigrates... it makes sense for them to use their random large amount of money from their oil fields to build more random shit. The benefits that the billionaires from the Middle East more redeemable than your typical asshole billionaire is that they still have something to do. They are more focused on the journey, than the destination."
The Sphere shows more things. Many basketballs in one. Water rippling in a perfect circle. The blue skies with clouds that clash against the night sky. Earth.
The Sphere turns into a giant eyeball, which looks at Mortimer, who looks depressed.
He takes a deep breath and tries to continue.
"You ever go to the desert? All the way over to where the city doesn't dwell? You look up to the sky. Those rare parts that aren't polluted by light. You wonder what's up in the Milky Way? Among all of those stars. Stars that the cities don't show you? You know, when you're a local, you don't get the duty to tell the folks who come here about what's wrong... Just... I want to know what's wrong."
The Sphere begins to become yellow, to which it shifts into an emoji that looks at Mortimer.
"You ever read or watch a dystopia story? One that shows how not we were supposed to live in this world? How everything is meant to be like a cyberpunk mishmash or 1984? Those were realities that can be more preferable, because we know how to fix them. Something excitable. Something that isn't dull... You know why it's dull. You think it would be fun that those who are able to ruin countries and cities can make dystopias that can be ripped off of fiction. The problem... they know how to make it bad for us. They make it empty and lifeless."
The glow from the Sphere intensifies. Mortimer turns around to see the emoji of the Sphere looking down at him, playfully. Almost like that one scene from Blade Runner 2049, Mortimer just stares at the Sphere. It looks back at him.
Mortimer raises an arm towards it, before he lowers it.
Mortimer appears inside of the Sphere, which is currently made to show the film Postcard from Earth. The interior of the lobby is made to show a futuristic lobby with holograms and robots.
"The Sphere itself is focused on both concerts and movies. Though, there is currently one movie made by the guy who directed Black Swan. You can say it's a good choice of a director to get Darren Aronofsky to do your premiere film, though you need to consider that making a film for this would be expensive. Not in terms of actual filmmaking, but because the screen makes up all of the inside of the Sphere. We're currently at the edge of the Sphere. The actual inside of it is insane. For now, let me give you a recap of Postcard from Earth. The film itself isn't anything to ride here about. It's more of a showcase than a significant film to have the Library of Congress to put in. Way better than Emilia Perez, though. What the hell is Postcard from Earth even about? It's supposed to propose hope for humanity after Earth is fucked, so they space travel to another planet or some shit to start anew, while taking about Earth in the past."
Mortimer goes over to one of the robots which he handshakes.
"That's basically the film. Like I said. It's not like... I don't know... Spielberg. A film by him for here will get the lobby crowded. You been in those planetariums with those ceiling shows, right? Or maybe those Disney attractions with 360 screens that you look around in? That's what it's like here. However, let me get into terms of the concerts."
Mortimer goes inside of the Sphere, at the top of the seats, where standing at the top rows of the seating is-
"VERY FUCKING STEEP!" Mortimer holds the reader back to make sure they didn't tumble down by accident. He clings onto you, his hand sliding by your pocket.
"I'm not joking. When you get to the top of these stairs, it's steeper than it looks. There is barely any camera footage that shows how steep it is. Now, here's a problem that I have for the Sphere...
YOU MOTHERFUCKERS HAVE U-BLOW PERFORMING HERE!?" That was Mortimer's fancy way of calling the band U2.
"Why the fuck would you get U-Blow to have a residence here? Why!? You could've done fucking Metallica or some other shit. If it was a random boring pop band from like the 60's, I wouldn't mind! I mean, my mother's favorite band The Grateful Band has concerts here, too. But U-Blow!? Who gives a shit about them? You have Bong-No here and you even have a concert film here for him!? Seriously?!"
"The Sphere itself is focused on both concerts and movies. Though, there is currently one movie made by the guy who directed Black Swan. You can say it's a good choice of a director to get Darren Aronofsky to do your premiere film, though you need to consider that making a film for this would be expensive. Not in terms of actual filmmaking, but because the screen makes up all of the inside of the Sphere. We're currently at the edge of the Sphere. The actual inside of it is insane. For now, let me give you a recap of Postcard from Earth. The film itself isn't anything to ride here about. It's more of a showcase than a significant film to have the Library of Congress to put in. Way better than Emilia Perez, though. What the hell is Postcard from Earth even about? It's supposed to propose hope for humanity after Earth is fucked, so they space travel to another planet or some shit to start anew, while taking about Earth in the past."
Mortimer goes over to one of the robots which he handshakes.
"That's basically the film. Like I said. It's not like... I don't know... Spielberg. A film by him for here will get the lobby crowded. You been in those planetariums with those ceiling shows, right? Or maybe those Disney attractions with 360 screens that you look around in? That's what it's like here. However, let me get into terms of the concerts."
Mortimer goes inside of the Sphere, at the top of the seats, where standing at the top rows of the seating is-
"VERY FUCKING STEEP!" Mortimer holds the reader back to make sure they didn't tumble down by accident. He clings onto you, his hand sliding by your pocket.
"I'm not joking. When you get to the top of these stairs, it's steeper than it looks. There is barely any camera footage that shows how steep it is. Now, here's a problem that I have for the Sphere...
YOU MOTHERFUCKERS HAVE U-BLOW PERFORMING HERE!?" That was Mortimer's fancy way of calling the band U2.
"Why the fuck would you get U-Blow to have a residence here? Why!? You could've done fucking Metallica or some other shit. If it was a random boring pop band from like the 60's, I wouldn't mind! I mean, my mother's favorite band The Grateful Band has concerts here, too. But U-Blow!? Who gives a shit about them? You have Bong-No here and you even have a concert film here for him!? Seriously?!"
You were about to leave the Sphere, until-
"Nah ah ah!"
You turn around.
Mortimer is holding your phone.
"You think I'm stupid? You think I don't know?"
He begins to check your Discord. He sees a post.
He grins manically, but he puts his hands to his side, looking away with sarcastic ignorance.
"Boy! Wouldn't it funny that I put up Mr. 'We live in a society' on the Sphere. Te-he. You think that in my dreams, I can do whatever the fuck I want! You know that we're dreaming and you're my bitch in this. The shit that I wouldn't remember when I wake up. I'm..."
Mortimer suddenly appears directly in front of you, holding his fingers in a tiny gap between them.
"This close. Into killing a god."
You take a step back, terrified.
"Here's what funny! There is some one on your Discord asking if I'm supposed to be cockroaches wearing a suit. AHAH, you're asking that to the wrong type of person." Mortimer gave a forced smile.
You immediately try to run-
"Nah ah ah!"
You turn around.
Mortimer is holding your phone.
"You think I'm stupid? You think I don't know?"
He begins to check your Discord. He sees a post.
He grins manically, but he puts his hands to his side, looking away with sarcastic ignorance.
"Boy! Wouldn't it funny that I put up Mr. 'We live in a society' on the Sphere. Te-he. You think that in my dreams, I can do whatever the fuck I want! You know that we're dreaming and you're my bitch in this. The shit that I wouldn't remember when I wake up. I'm..."
Mortimer suddenly appears directly in front of you, holding his fingers in a tiny gap between them.
"This close. Into killing a god."
You take a step back, terrified.
"Here's what funny! There is some one on your Discord asking if I'm supposed to be cockroaches wearing a suit. AHAH, you're asking that to the wrong type of person." Mortimer gave a forced smile.
You immediately try to run-
-and you find yourself running off of the edge of the roof of the Strat.
You're falling in the air, until-
You're falling in the air, until-
-you land face first into the pool at the MGM Grand.
You resurface, to which Mortimer is on a sun chair with a garish-looking cocktail and some sunglasses.
"You want off the ride? Don't worry. We're here at our next stop, buckaroo."
You resurface, to which Mortimer is on a sun chair with a garish-looking cocktail and some sunglasses.
"You want off the ride? Don't worry. We're here at our next stop, buckaroo."