Meltdown
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- Joined: Sat Sep 01, 2018 4:55 am
Meltdown
((Darren Fox continued from Fear))
This wasn't how it was supposed to happen...
That was just one of the multitude of thoughts that crossed Darren's mind as he sat on the concrete floor. His legs were pulled up close to his chest, his chin resting on his denim-covered knees. His gaze was focused on the wall directly opposite him, bloodshot eyes solely fixed on an unknown mark that stained the surface. He was currently residing in the southern reactor after an hour of aimless wandering from the hangar. To his relief, the building appeared to be deserted and he was now - as far as he knew - the only person occupying the place.
Half an hour after he arrived, the first announcement was read out. Eight deaths had occurred over the past twenty-four hours. Eight young lives snuffed out, just like that. Kelly hadn't been the only one to die, in fact she wasn't even the first. Fellow artist Dave Russell had gone and killed himself at the very beginning. Darren felt quite sick at the thought. How desperate do you have to be to kill yourself?
Darren then learnt that Theodore had killed not only once, but twice. To say he was unnerved by just how quick Theo had turned from everyday student to double murderer, that was a massive understatement. What kind of person guns down two of their classmates like that? The thought made him shudder, and he made a mental note to avoid the guy at all costs. Same for Hansel and Joe, if this Danya guy was to be believed.
Then came Kelly's death. Along with the name of the girl who'd killed her.
Katarina.
Darren vaguely remembered Katarina, recalling that she liked video games, and did some odd stuff at times. She had mild OCD, if he remembered correctly. He himself had mild AS, so he could somewhat relate to her. But he never imagined in his wildest dreams that she would go on to kill somebody.
Guess he didn't know her that well after all.
Two more deaths followed, Darren adding Iselle to the list of people to avoid. Iselle, Katarina, Theo, Joe and Hansel. Gotta remember those names. Next up were the danger zones. Darren braced himself; knowing his luck, he'd be forced to be moved from his current location so soon after he first arrived. Fortunately for him, that didn't happen; the airstrip on the other hand was made off-limits, and Darren felt thankful to have left the place already. The last thing he would have wanted was to sprint out of the hangar, have his ankle suddenly play up again and be reduced to hobbling in pain for the next half an hour.
It was the next part of the announcement that really shocked Darren to the core, however. Katarina's name had cropped up once more, but now they were rewarding her for killing Kelly. No, no that's wrong! Why is she getting a prize for that?! That's not fair! Darren's hands shook and his blood began to boil upon hearing this injustice. His travelling companion was lying dead in the hangar, and her killer was going to get a nice little reward for the murder. He couldn't contain himself any longer.
"Fuck you, you bastard!" he hollered out, starting to tear up again. "Fuck you too, Katarina!" Darren hardly swore back home, but in this instance, he felt that he was more than justified in doing so. Fuck you, Kat. I hate you. I absolutely, truly, hate you for what you did. Why would you even do that? If I find you again, I swear I'm going to... going to...
Darren's thoughts slowed to a crawl as he realised how he was going to finish that sentence. I'm going to what? Kill her?
A second passed in silence. No. Darren went back to gazing at the stain on the wall, which was now wobbling in all directions thanks to the tears that threated to spill down his face. That would make me just as bad as her. I am not a killer, I am nothing like her.
Darren continued to sit there in deep silence, lost in his thoughts long after the announcement had ended. He tried to think of what his next plan of action would be, but he really had no idea on what to do next. One thing was for certain, however, and that was he wasn't leaving the building until much, much later. After a while, he began to hum some video game songs to himself, hoping it would calm him down. Some time after that, Darren began reciting stations.
"This is Harrow & Wealdstone. This is a Bakerloo line train to Elephant & Castle. The next station is Kenton," he spoke from memory, running a finger along the concrete by his feet. To him, it was just trying to take his mind off the situation he was in, to try and escape the hell he found himself in. To any outside observers, it looked as though he had completely lost his mind.
"This is Kenton. This is a Bakerloo line train to Elephant & Castle. The next station is South Kenton."
Maybe they weren't far off.
This wasn't how it was supposed to happen...
That was just one of the multitude of thoughts that crossed Darren's mind as he sat on the concrete floor. His legs were pulled up close to his chest, his chin resting on his denim-covered knees. His gaze was focused on the wall directly opposite him, bloodshot eyes solely fixed on an unknown mark that stained the surface. He was currently residing in the southern reactor after an hour of aimless wandering from the hangar. To his relief, the building appeared to be deserted and he was now - as far as he knew - the only person occupying the place.
Half an hour after he arrived, the first announcement was read out. Eight deaths had occurred over the past twenty-four hours. Eight young lives snuffed out, just like that. Kelly hadn't been the only one to die, in fact she wasn't even the first. Fellow artist Dave Russell had gone and killed himself at the very beginning. Darren felt quite sick at the thought. How desperate do you have to be to kill yourself?
Darren then learnt that Theodore had killed not only once, but twice. To say he was unnerved by just how quick Theo had turned from everyday student to double murderer, that was a massive understatement. What kind of person guns down two of their classmates like that? The thought made him shudder, and he made a mental note to avoid the guy at all costs. Same for Hansel and Joe, if this Danya guy was to be believed.
Then came Kelly's death. Along with the name of the girl who'd killed her.
Katarina.
Darren vaguely remembered Katarina, recalling that she liked video games, and did some odd stuff at times. She had mild OCD, if he remembered correctly. He himself had mild AS, so he could somewhat relate to her. But he never imagined in his wildest dreams that she would go on to kill somebody.
Guess he didn't know her that well after all.
Two more deaths followed, Darren adding Iselle to the list of people to avoid. Iselle, Katarina, Theo, Joe and Hansel. Gotta remember those names. Next up were the danger zones. Darren braced himself; knowing his luck, he'd be forced to be moved from his current location so soon after he first arrived. Fortunately for him, that didn't happen; the airstrip on the other hand was made off-limits, and Darren felt thankful to have left the place already. The last thing he would have wanted was to sprint out of the hangar, have his ankle suddenly play up again and be reduced to hobbling in pain for the next half an hour.
It was the next part of the announcement that really shocked Darren to the core, however. Katarina's name had cropped up once more, but now they were rewarding her for killing Kelly. No, no that's wrong! Why is she getting a prize for that?! That's not fair! Darren's hands shook and his blood began to boil upon hearing this injustice. His travelling companion was lying dead in the hangar, and her killer was going to get a nice little reward for the murder. He couldn't contain himself any longer.
"Fuck you, you bastard!" he hollered out, starting to tear up again. "Fuck you too, Katarina!" Darren hardly swore back home, but in this instance, he felt that he was more than justified in doing so. Fuck you, Kat. I hate you. I absolutely, truly, hate you for what you did. Why would you even do that? If I find you again, I swear I'm going to... going to...
Darren's thoughts slowed to a crawl as he realised how he was going to finish that sentence. I'm going to what? Kill her?
A second passed in silence. No. Darren went back to gazing at the stain on the wall, which was now wobbling in all directions thanks to the tears that threated to spill down his face. That would make me just as bad as her. I am not a killer, I am nothing like her.
Darren continued to sit there in deep silence, lost in his thoughts long after the announcement had ended. He tried to think of what his next plan of action would be, but he really had no idea on what to do next. One thing was for certain, however, and that was he wasn't leaving the building until much, much later. After a while, he began to hum some video game songs to himself, hoping it would calm him down. Some time after that, Darren began reciting stations.
"This is Harrow & Wealdstone. This is a Bakerloo line train to Elephant & Castle. The next station is Kenton," he spoke from memory, running a finger along the concrete by his feet. To him, it was just trying to take his mind off the situation he was in, to try and escape the hell he found himself in. To any outside observers, it looked as though he had completely lost his mind.
"This is Kenton. This is a Bakerloo line train to Elephant & Castle. The next station is South Kenton."
Maybe they weren't far off.
((Marcus Leung continued from Heaven is an Airport Terminal))
Marcus glanced warily at the bright warning signs placed throughout the reactor facility as he wandered through. It was quite possible that just by walking around in here, he'd end up with horrible radiation poisoning. It shouldn't be possible though, not if this plant had normal safety regulations. Then again, death by radiation poisoning was probably a non-issue in the face of the higher likelihood of being killed by one of his classmates.
Eight people dead already. That was unreal. Marcus had tried to not listen, to tune out Danya's voice. If he didn't hear it, maybe it wouldn't be true. At least, it wouldn't change how he treated his friends.
There were still names that filtered through: Theodore Fletcher, Joe Carrasco, Katarina Konipaski. A little voice told him that these names were important, but Marcus pushed it aside. There would be time later to think about what had happened. Right now, it was more important to look for his and Phoebe's friends.
The two of them had split up in the morning to explore around the reactor site. It had been a long painful walk from the airport to the nuclear plant; mostly because neither of them had an easy time carrying all their bags and other things, which meant frequent stops to rest. They'd managed to find some shelter near the plant, but Marcus barely got any sleep between the uncomfortable bedding and the unfamiliar rooms.
He was so tired, he hadn't even noticed somebody else was on the reactor floor until he heard him talking. Marcus looked around for the speaker and caught sight of Darren Fox's vibrant red hair. Darren and Marcus had shared a good number of classes throughout their school years, and Marcus often found Darren's fixation on building lists to be quite interesting. Marcus liked to occasionally provoke Darren into explaining one of his detailed lists, both as a learning opportunity for himself as well as providing Darren an outlet to talk about his interests that his classmates didn't share.
Darren sounded shaken, and was rattling off what was probably subway stations. That had been a fascinating topic of discussion back in school, since Marcus had never visited any of these other cities, but he had hoped to get a chance to once he finished high school. Marcus walked up and sat down on the floor in front of Darren, placing his sword off to the side, just in case. Not that he expected Darren to attack him or anything like that, but given what Theo had done yesterday, it was something he still had to keep in mind. Not that Marcus thought that he could even use it to hurt anyone.
"You doing okay, man?" Marcus asked, folding his hands over his lap, "are you here with anybody?"
Marcus glanced warily at the bright warning signs placed throughout the reactor facility as he wandered through. It was quite possible that just by walking around in here, he'd end up with horrible radiation poisoning. It shouldn't be possible though, not if this plant had normal safety regulations. Then again, death by radiation poisoning was probably a non-issue in the face of the higher likelihood of being killed by one of his classmates.
Eight people dead already. That was unreal. Marcus had tried to not listen, to tune out Danya's voice. If he didn't hear it, maybe it wouldn't be true. At least, it wouldn't change how he treated his friends.
There were still names that filtered through: Theodore Fletcher, Joe Carrasco, Katarina Konipaski. A little voice told him that these names were important, but Marcus pushed it aside. There would be time later to think about what had happened. Right now, it was more important to look for his and Phoebe's friends.
The two of them had split up in the morning to explore around the reactor site. It had been a long painful walk from the airport to the nuclear plant; mostly because neither of them had an easy time carrying all their bags and other things, which meant frequent stops to rest. They'd managed to find some shelter near the plant, but Marcus barely got any sleep between the uncomfortable bedding and the unfamiliar rooms.
He was so tired, he hadn't even noticed somebody else was on the reactor floor until he heard him talking. Marcus looked around for the speaker and caught sight of Darren Fox's vibrant red hair. Darren and Marcus had shared a good number of classes throughout their school years, and Marcus often found Darren's fixation on building lists to be quite interesting. Marcus liked to occasionally provoke Darren into explaining one of his detailed lists, both as a learning opportunity for himself as well as providing Darren an outlet to talk about his interests that his classmates didn't share.
Darren sounded shaken, and was rattling off what was probably subway stations. That had been a fascinating topic of discussion back in school, since Marcus had never visited any of these other cities, but he had hoped to get a chance to once he finished high school. Marcus walked up and sat down on the floor in front of Darren, placing his sword off to the side, just in case. Not that he expected Darren to attack him or anything like that, but given what Theo had done yesterday, it was something he still had to keep in mind. Not that Marcus thought that he could even use it to hurt anyone.
"You doing okay, man?" Marcus asked, folding his hands over his lap, "are you here with anybody?"
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((Phoebe Cho continued from the same place as Marcus))
She'd let Marcus go on a little ahead. There was some business she needed to take care of.
Phoebe looked around, trying not to look suspicious, picking out where the cameras were. Having never seen more than the briefest snippet on the news, she wasn't sure how it worked. There were live streams up on the internet, she knew that much, but how many? Were all cameras feeding at all times? And were there people watching all of the cameras all of the time.
Ironically she didn't care about them seeing her. She wasn't in the mood for offering favours to terrorists. But if these were going to be her last days alive - and she was still, passively, only just managing to accept that - she didn't want her lasting memory to be a clip of her taking a shit in a bush. She didn't want her parents to have to go through a comical ending for her. How could they grieve while knowing that all over the world, dicks in their basements were laughing at her? Phoebe bristled at the though of it.
By trying not to draw attention to herself, she worried that she was, in fact, drawing attention to herself. It was becoming a little ridiculous, and at some point Marcus might come back to see where she had gone. There was only so long someone could possibly be on a bathroom break for in this environment before you started worrying that they might have died. She looked around, and tried to as discreetl as possible, pick out where the cameras were. Surely no one would be interested? Surely this was a thing that had to happen? But Phoebe had spent most of her life actively avoiding the outdoors as much as possible, and this survival lark was completely lost on her. The first time she had taken a piss she had gone all over her leggings and had to get changed. She'd chucked them in a bush and replaced them with an identical pair from her bag.
Somehow the thought of the cameras hadn't bothered her then. That was a far more amusing story, and the idea that a video of it was streaming around the world made her feel queasy. Phoebe had always done her best to promote a very specific image of herself. Cool, collected, fashionable, slightly quirky. Kind to everyone. Always avoiding embarrassing herself. It was less that she was self conscious and more that she was careful about her reputation. She liked how she had presented herself. And now she had pissed on herself on live TV, and was wandering about looking for a bush to take a shit in. There weren't many bushes around here on the outskirts of what was, according to the map, a nuclear reactor.
After a couple of minutes she found one. It was dense, and not too spiky. She tried to make it as fast and uninteresting as possible. Surely there was something more interesting happening elsewhere. It knotted her stomach with guilt to think about it, but there was probably someone dying. Someone standing on the edge of a cliff. Someone screaming, people kissing. Extreme emotions went hand in hand with extreme environments. To keep fling under the radar, she needed to stay calm. To avoid being in the highlights of the day.
Job done, Phoebe went in search of Marcus. He had been heading for the nuclear reactors themselves. She had no idea why, it was probably a boy thing, wanting to go into the place that was full of radiation. Perhaps he thought it would give him superpowers or something. Flying would be pretty handy. Or teleportation. Invisibility would be helpful as well, she could just sit in a tree until there was only one person left and then sneak up on them.
The reactor was scary. Phoebe hesitated briefly outside the door, wondering if she liked Marcus enough to follow him into this death trap, before stepping inside. Better the devil you know. She crept through the plant until she came upon Marcus, sitting on the floor with Darren Fox. The lists kid. Phoebe liked lists. She stood back a little, and then crouched on the floor by the wall. Sitting on her heels she watched the two of them quietly, wanting to scope out the situation. She didn't want to freak Darren out by going up to him, he had always seemed a little odd to her, and she wasn't sure that he was necessarily in a very good place to cope with this. Not that any of them were likely to be.
She'd let Marcus go on a little ahead. There was some business she needed to take care of.
Phoebe looked around, trying not to look suspicious, picking out where the cameras were. Having never seen more than the briefest snippet on the news, she wasn't sure how it worked. There were live streams up on the internet, she knew that much, but how many? Were all cameras feeding at all times? And were there people watching all of the cameras all of the time.
Ironically she didn't care about them seeing her. She wasn't in the mood for offering favours to terrorists. But if these were going to be her last days alive - and she was still, passively, only just managing to accept that - she didn't want her lasting memory to be a clip of her taking a shit in a bush. She didn't want her parents to have to go through a comical ending for her. How could they grieve while knowing that all over the world, dicks in their basements were laughing at her? Phoebe bristled at the though of it.
By trying not to draw attention to herself, she worried that she was, in fact, drawing attention to herself. It was becoming a little ridiculous, and at some point Marcus might come back to see where she had gone. There was only so long someone could possibly be on a bathroom break for in this environment before you started worrying that they might have died. She looked around, and tried to as discreetl as possible, pick out where the cameras were. Surely no one would be interested? Surely this was a thing that had to happen? But Phoebe had spent most of her life actively avoiding the outdoors as much as possible, and this survival lark was completely lost on her. The first time she had taken a piss she had gone all over her leggings and had to get changed. She'd chucked them in a bush and replaced them with an identical pair from her bag.
Somehow the thought of the cameras hadn't bothered her then. That was a far more amusing story, and the idea that a video of it was streaming around the world made her feel queasy. Phoebe had always done her best to promote a very specific image of herself. Cool, collected, fashionable, slightly quirky. Kind to everyone. Always avoiding embarrassing herself. It was less that she was self conscious and more that she was careful about her reputation. She liked how she had presented herself. And now she had pissed on herself on live TV, and was wandering about looking for a bush to take a shit in. There weren't many bushes around here on the outskirts of what was, according to the map, a nuclear reactor.
After a couple of minutes she found one. It was dense, and not too spiky. She tried to make it as fast and uninteresting as possible. Surely there was something more interesting happening elsewhere. It knotted her stomach with guilt to think about it, but there was probably someone dying. Someone standing on the edge of a cliff. Someone screaming, people kissing. Extreme emotions went hand in hand with extreme environments. To keep fling under the radar, she needed to stay calm. To avoid being in the highlights of the day.
Job done, Phoebe went in search of Marcus. He had been heading for the nuclear reactors themselves. She had no idea why, it was probably a boy thing, wanting to go into the place that was full of radiation. Perhaps he thought it would give him superpowers or something. Flying would be pretty handy. Or teleportation. Invisibility would be helpful as well, she could just sit in a tree until there was only one person left and then sneak up on them.
The reactor was scary. Phoebe hesitated briefly outside the door, wondering if she liked Marcus enough to follow him into this death trap, before stepping inside. Better the devil you know. She crept through the plant until she came upon Marcus, sitting on the floor with Darren Fox. The lists kid. Phoebe liked lists. She stood back a little, and then crouched on the floor by the wall. Sitting on her heels she watched the two of them quietly, wanting to scope out the situation. She didn't want to freak Darren out by going up to him, he had always seemed a little odd to her, and she wasn't sure that he was necessarily in a very good place to cope with this. Not that any of them were likely to be.
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Darren had continued further down the Bakerloo line in solitude, fully reciting a further nineteen stations. "This is Embankment. Change here for the Circle, District and Northern lines. This is a Bakerloo line train to Ele-" Darren stopped mid-sentence when he was suddenly aware of another person's presence next to him. He craned his head to the side to face whoever this person was.
For the briefest of moments, while his head was still turning, he thought he saw Katarina's face. Sitting there, poised to attack him, ready to slash his neck open like she did to Kelly the day before. Fortunately, it was just a trick his mind was playing on him, and it was instead Marcus who sat beside him. Another fellow artist, someone who Darren got on fairly well with, and someone who seemed friendly enough to sit down with him instead of running him through with that sword.
Nevertheless, just having someone appear like that while he was zoned out caused him to almost jump a foot in the air.
"Gah!" he exclaimed in shock, placing his hand over his chest as his pulse skyrocketed. "God, Marcus, you startled me." He breathed deeply, feeling his cheeks flush red and grow hot. He hated it when people came up to him while he was listing things out loud; it made him believe that whoever saw/heard him would think he was, well, quite weird. Marcus didn't seem to be the kind of person to make fun of him or think he was odd, though. At least, that was the impression that Darren got from him. Heck, Marcus seemed to be pretty interested in what he did.
"I'm okay," was the automatic response to Marcus's query, but Darren then shook his head. "No... no I'm not. I'm not doing okay at all, and I'm not here with anyone else either," he replied truthfully, his voice sounding like it was about to crack. There was a pause as Darren lowered his head, recalling the events about twenty-four hours previously. He'd met Kelly, they were going to find people, they were going to enlist help.
He was on the brink of tears again. Someone else walked into the same room at that point, but they were just a blur to the redhead.
"N-not anymore," he spoke in a soft tone that was almost a whisper.
For the briefest of moments, while his head was still turning, he thought he saw Katarina's face. Sitting there, poised to attack him, ready to slash his neck open like she did to Kelly the day before. Fortunately, it was just a trick his mind was playing on him, and it was instead Marcus who sat beside him. Another fellow artist, someone who Darren got on fairly well with, and someone who seemed friendly enough to sit down with him instead of running him through with that sword.
Nevertheless, just having someone appear like that while he was zoned out caused him to almost jump a foot in the air.
"Gah!" he exclaimed in shock, placing his hand over his chest as his pulse skyrocketed. "God, Marcus, you startled me." He breathed deeply, feeling his cheeks flush red and grow hot. He hated it when people came up to him while he was listing things out loud; it made him believe that whoever saw/heard him would think he was, well, quite weird. Marcus didn't seem to be the kind of person to make fun of him or think he was odd, though. At least, that was the impression that Darren got from him. Heck, Marcus seemed to be pretty interested in what he did.
"I'm okay," was the automatic response to Marcus's query, but Darren then shook his head. "No... no I'm not. I'm not doing okay at all, and I'm not here with anyone else either," he replied truthfully, his voice sounding like it was about to crack. There was a pause as Darren lowered his head, recalling the events about twenty-four hours previously. He'd met Kelly, they were going to find people, they were going to enlist help.
He was on the brink of tears again. Someone else walked into the same room at that point, but they were just a blur to the redhead.
"N-not anymore," he spoke in a soft tone that was almost a whisper.
Marcus made a mental note that there was apparently something he was good at: finding people who were about two seconds from breaking into a crying fit. Not that Marcus would've expected any less from Darren. Darren had a big heart, and Survival of the Fittest wasn't a friendly place for a guy like him. Or a guy like Marcus.
"Darren," Marcus said, "it's okay. You're not alone." He put his hand on the other boy's shoulder to comfort him. "I'm here. And Phoebe's around here too somewhere. We came here together." Hopefully, having more than one friendly face around would help raise Darren's spirits. "We haven't found anybody else yet. Have you seen anyone since yesterday?"
The words hung in the air for a split second before Marcus realized he'd said something stupid. Darren had just said that he wasn't with anyone 'anymore'. Which meant that he had met with others since yesterday.
"Who were you with, Darren?" Marcus said, his voice shaking as he tried to correct his mistake, "What happened?" Possibilities flashed through Marcus's head and he gave them voice in his anxiousness. "Are they dead? Did somebody ki-" Marcus cut himself short, realizing a little too late what he had said. Now was not the time to talk about things like dying and killing.
"Darren," Marcus said, "it's okay. You're not alone." He put his hand on the other boy's shoulder to comfort him. "I'm here. And Phoebe's around here too somewhere. We came here together." Hopefully, having more than one friendly face around would help raise Darren's spirits. "We haven't found anybody else yet. Have you seen anyone since yesterday?"
The words hung in the air for a split second before Marcus realized he'd said something stupid. Darren had just said that he wasn't with anyone 'anymore'. Which meant that he had met with others since yesterday.
"Who were you with, Darren?" Marcus said, his voice shaking as he tried to correct his mistake, "What happened?" Possibilities flashed through Marcus's head and he gave them voice in his anxiousness. "Are they dead? Did somebody ki-" Marcus cut himself short, realizing a little too late what he had said. Now was not the time to talk about things like dying and killing.
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Darren instinctively flinched when Marcus put his hand on his shoulder, but he moved back to his original position almost as quickly, letting the other boy rest his hand there for now.
Marcus mentioned someone else being with him, Phoebe, he said her name was. Darren looked to the side and saw the girl crouched down near the door. He nodded to her, acknowledging her presence but didn't say a word.
"I've not seen anyone since yesterday," he replied to Marcus' question.
"Kelly... I was with Kelly when I first woke up," Darren responded to his other query, on the verge of sobbing once more. "S-she was killed during the night. K-Katarina murdered her while I was... while I was goddamn asleep!"
Darren buried his head into his arms, crying loudly once more.
"I just want to go home! I just want this nightmare to end! Why are they even doing this to us? I don't understand it at all."
Marcus mentioned someone else being with him, Phoebe, he said her name was. Darren looked to the side and saw the girl crouched down near the door. He nodded to her, acknowledging her presence but didn't say a word.
"I've not seen anyone since yesterday," he replied to Marcus' question.
"Kelly... I was with Kelly when I first woke up," Darren responded to his other query, on the verge of sobbing once more. "S-she was killed during the night. K-Katarina murdered her while I was... while I was goddamn asleep!"
Darren buried his head into his arms, crying loudly once more.
"I just want to go home! I just want this nightmare to end! Why are they even doing this to us? I don't understand it at all."
Phoebe found herself watching the two boys far longer than she'd meant to, her initial caution quickly taking backseat to her interest in the conversation. She'd always been something of a people watcher, many of her earliest memories simply instances of her parents scolding her unabashed childhood staring. If nothing else, it was nice knowing the situation hadn't changed her too much, rocky start aside. But that's all it was, just a rocky start, or at least that's why she tried to force herself to think. People dealt with trauma in extreme ways, she'd heard that somewhere or read something about it once. It was just her way of dealing with trauma and she was still impeccably Phoebe Cho from Seattle, Washington and not some manic depressive suicide case looking for any opportunity to off herself.
She wanted to live.
She realized that now.
Phoebe shifted her weight to the balls of her feet, becoming slightly uncomfortable in her couched position as she continued observing the boys. Part of her had debated just running off when she'd gotten the chance and finding someone she was closer to than Marcus, likely the same part of her that wondered how much she could truly trust someone she'd barely spoken to back home. A different, the rational one perhaps, wondered if she still would have been alive had Marcus not intervened. She owed him, to say the very least, and trust the least she could offer.
Phoebe was prepared to reveal herself and join the boys when Darren caught her eye. Instinctively, she broke gaze, finding anywhere else to look as if she'd been caught staring at her latest crush in class. She shifted her position once more, retreating further behind the wall as if he hadn't already seen her.
She could hear him begin to cry after that, however, and she knew she couldn't keep up the spying routine, no matter how much she wanted to. How completely callous would it be to sit behind a wall while someone was at their lowest. She wasn't necessarily good with sad people, never really knowing exactly what they needed, but Marcus hadn't left her out in the cold when she was at her lowest and she couldn't do it to Darren. Pay it forward and all that jazz. Abandoning her bag behind her wall, she quickly made her way over to the boys, shooting Marcus a questioning glance, as if to ask what they should do.
"Oh, Darren," Her voice was barely above a whisper as she tried to find her most soothing voice, once again crouching to get to his level on the floor before gently wrapping her arms around his shoulder. That's how she dealt with sad people, just hugging them and hoping it somehow worked.
"Shh, shh, shh," She hummed, reminding herself far too much of her mother, "We're gonna get through this, Champ. It'll be okay."
That was all she knew how to do. That and hope he stopped being sad soon.
She wanted to live.
She realized that now.
Phoebe shifted her weight to the balls of her feet, becoming slightly uncomfortable in her couched position as she continued observing the boys. Part of her had debated just running off when she'd gotten the chance and finding someone she was closer to than Marcus, likely the same part of her that wondered how much she could truly trust someone she'd barely spoken to back home. A different, the rational one perhaps, wondered if she still would have been alive had Marcus not intervened. She owed him, to say the very least, and trust the least she could offer.
Phoebe was prepared to reveal herself and join the boys when Darren caught her eye. Instinctively, she broke gaze, finding anywhere else to look as if she'd been caught staring at her latest crush in class. She shifted her position once more, retreating further behind the wall as if he hadn't already seen her.
She could hear him begin to cry after that, however, and she knew she couldn't keep up the spying routine, no matter how much she wanted to. How completely callous would it be to sit behind a wall while someone was at their lowest. She wasn't necessarily good with sad people, never really knowing exactly what they needed, but Marcus hadn't left her out in the cold when she was at her lowest and she couldn't do it to Darren. Pay it forward and all that jazz. Abandoning her bag behind her wall, she quickly made her way over to the boys, shooting Marcus a questioning glance, as if to ask what they should do.
"Oh, Darren," Her voice was barely above a whisper as she tried to find her most soothing voice, once again crouching to get to his level on the floor before gently wrapping her arms around his shoulder. That's how she dealt with sad people, just hugging them and hoping it somehow worked.
"Shh, shh, shh," She hummed, reminding herself far too much of her mother, "We're gonna get through this, Champ. It'll be okay."
That was all she knew how to do. That and hope he stopped being sad soon.
(Posting to avoid inactivity.)
Phoebe continued holding Darren in her arms, not quite sure when the appropriate time would be to release him. Aside from Darren's crying, the area was eerie quietly and she couldn't help but wonder if he'd attract any attention they didn't want, but she couldn't exactly tell someone to cry quieter could she? Instead, her eyes once more darted up to Marcus, hoping he'd say something to make the situation slightly less awkward for all of them.
When he didn't, however, she spoke once again in the most gentle voice possible, trying her best to be the soothing mother he likely needed.
"It's alright, just let it out, buddy."
Just be a little quieter, please, she wanted to add.
Phoebe continued holding Darren in her arms, not quite sure when the appropriate time would be to release him. Aside from Darren's crying, the area was eerie quietly and she couldn't help but wonder if he'd attract any attention they didn't want, but she couldn't exactly tell someone to cry quieter could she? Instead, her eyes once more darted up to Marcus, hoping he'd say something to make the situation slightly less awkward for all of them.
When he didn't, however, she spoke once again in the most gentle voice possible, trying her best to be the soothing mother he likely needed.
"It's alright, just let it out, buddy."
Just be a little quieter, please, she wanted to add.
Marcus kept his mouth shut for awhile, partly because he'd just gotten to Darren and had already managed to put his foot in his mouth, and partly because of the lump that was forming in his throat.
Kelly... he hadn't known her, not really. She played softball and she went to church, and that was Kelly Peterson summed up for Marcus. Somehow that was the worst part.
Katarina he was even less familiar with. She was a runner, wasn't she? He'd never really spoken to her. One girl he barely knew taken by another that he knew even less.
Marcus squeezed Darren's shoulder as Phoebe hugged him. "I'm sorry," he said softly, when he felt like he could speak again. "You're safe with us, though. Have... have you seen anyone else? Since then- since you got here, I mean?"
Marcus swallowed around the lump in his throat. He could do this. He could hold it - hold them together. "Is there anyone you're looking for?"
Kelly... he hadn't known her, not really. She played softball and she went to church, and that was Kelly Peterson summed up for Marcus. Somehow that was the worst part.
Katarina he was even less familiar with. She was a runner, wasn't she? He'd never really spoken to her. One girl he barely knew taken by another that he knew even less.
Marcus squeezed Darren's shoulder as Phoebe hugged him. "I'm sorry," he said softly, when he felt like he could speak again. "You're safe with us, though. Have... have you seen anyone else? Since then- since you got here, I mean?"
Marcus swallowed around the lump in his throat. He could do this. He could hold it - hold them together. "Is there anyone you're looking for?"
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
"No! No, it's not going to be alright! We aren't going to be fine!"
What Phoebe said almost offended Darren. It felt like she was patronizing him, like she was only doing it to make him stop. Darren almost made the move to shrug her away but he hesitated when she started humming. He hated how he seemed to shrink back whenever he had a course of action. It was all unconscious, not like he wanted to stop.
"You guys didn't see her - her - it was horrible. It was like she - "
It was useless. Why was he getting angry at Phoebe? It had only been a small burst of anger but it was strange all the same. Phoebe was trying to comfort him.
Darren stopped talking. He stopped crying, too, though his face stayed pitiful and puppy-eyed. He started rocking in Phoebe's arms. His eyes darted from one spot on the floor to the other and another. Where had he been? Did he already pass South Kenton? Or was he still back in Harrow.
Phoebe told him to let it all out. And there were so much to let out, so many stray thoughts and conflicting emotions, but he had no way of conveying any of it. How could he possibly tell Phoebe about the condition he found Kelly in? What would Marcus think when he told him all Kelly left behind was a box full of Legos?
He didn't know. He was too tired to think. Instead he did what came naturally. He cried harder.
He didn't want to cry. Honest. His father told him that he shouldn't cry. When the bullies started picking on him, his father told him to stop crying and start defending himself. But Kelly's death was different. It didn't just hurt him morally but personally as well. Seeing Kelly like that, it just broke his heart in two pieces. It wasn't like he had a crush on Kelly or anything. Until yesterday, he barely knew her! It was just, he felt safe with her. The way she talked, acted, there was so little bullshit. Even though she was occasionally mean, Kelly was almost transparent. He knew that he could trust her. She wouldn't double cross him. So when he found her...
It was humiliating the way he broke down, bawling like an angry toddler against Phoebe, miserably wiping snot on his sleeve. All the while he was rattling off so many things at once that not even he was sure of what he was saying. He felt like an idiot, rocking back and forth.
But Phoebe didn't mind. Neither did Marcus. They sat there with him, listening to him. That alone made Darren feel less embarrassed. But with that came an irrational guilt. The apologies came soon enough, repeating "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry", like some protective mantra shielding him. He didn't even know if he was apologizing to Phoebe, Marcus, Kelly, himself, everyone. He was just so sorry. For everything.
He barely remembered the things he said. Apart from the apologies, he wasn't sure. He wouldn't have been surprised if he was blubbering out stations, as weird as that seemed. But the one thing he did remember saying was at the very end, when he was finally beginning to calm down. It came out of nowhere, and it shocked even him.
"I didn't even get to say good bye."
He remembered this because there was an ache in the put of his chest, like he ripped open a healing wound, and he paused for only a few seconds.
Darren had no idea how long he cried. When he did stopped, it was quick. The tears stopped flowing. He wasn't wheezing. He noticed that his head was starting to get dizzy, and he brought his head up to feel it. His whole face ached. Marcus asked him something, and he answered right away.
"I can't even remember. Everything's blurring together, I can't -" He sniffed. "I think it was just you two? If there was anyone else, I didn't see them. I'm so sorry."
Darren paused. He looked up at Marcus.
"I'm just." He swallowed. "Guys, thank you. I'm so sorry, you must think I'm such an idiot."
(Darren Fox in Adam & Eve & Steve)
What Phoebe said almost offended Darren. It felt like she was patronizing him, like she was only doing it to make him stop. Darren almost made the move to shrug her away but he hesitated when she started humming. He hated how he seemed to shrink back whenever he had a course of action. It was all unconscious, not like he wanted to stop.
"You guys didn't see her - her - it was horrible. It was like she - "
It was useless. Why was he getting angry at Phoebe? It had only been a small burst of anger but it was strange all the same. Phoebe was trying to comfort him.
Darren stopped talking. He stopped crying, too, though his face stayed pitiful and puppy-eyed. He started rocking in Phoebe's arms. His eyes darted from one spot on the floor to the other and another. Where had he been? Did he already pass South Kenton? Or was he still back in Harrow.
Phoebe told him to let it all out. And there were so much to let out, so many stray thoughts and conflicting emotions, but he had no way of conveying any of it. How could he possibly tell Phoebe about the condition he found Kelly in? What would Marcus think when he told him all Kelly left behind was a box full of Legos?
He didn't know. He was too tired to think. Instead he did what came naturally. He cried harder.
He didn't want to cry. Honest. His father told him that he shouldn't cry. When the bullies started picking on him, his father told him to stop crying and start defending himself. But Kelly's death was different. It didn't just hurt him morally but personally as well. Seeing Kelly like that, it just broke his heart in two pieces. It wasn't like he had a crush on Kelly or anything. Until yesterday, he barely knew her! It was just, he felt safe with her. The way she talked, acted, there was so little bullshit. Even though she was occasionally mean, Kelly was almost transparent. He knew that he could trust her. She wouldn't double cross him. So when he found her...
It was humiliating the way he broke down, bawling like an angry toddler against Phoebe, miserably wiping snot on his sleeve. All the while he was rattling off so many things at once that not even he was sure of what he was saying. He felt like an idiot, rocking back and forth.
But Phoebe didn't mind. Neither did Marcus. They sat there with him, listening to him. That alone made Darren feel less embarrassed. But with that came an irrational guilt. The apologies came soon enough, repeating "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry", like some protective mantra shielding him. He didn't even know if he was apologizing to Phoebe, Marcus, Kelly, himself, everyone. He was just so sorry. For everything.
He barely remembered the things he said. Apart from the apologies, he wasn't sure. He wouldn't have been surprised if he was blubbering out stations, as weird as that seemed. But the one thing he did remember saying was at the very end, when he was finally beginning to calm down. It came out of nowhere, and it shocked even him.
"I didn't even get to say good bye."
He remembered this because there was an ache in the put of his chest, like he ripped open a healing wound, and he paused for only a few seconds.
Darren had no idea how long he cried. When he did stopped, it was quick. The tears stopped flowing. He wasn't wheezing. He noticed that his head was starting to get dizzy, and he brought his head up to feel it. His whole face ached. Marcus asked him something, and he answered right away.
"I can't even remember. Everything's blurring together, I can't -" He sniffed. "I think it was just you two? If there was anyone else, I didn't see them. I'm so sorry."
Darren paused. He looked up at Marcus.
"I'm just." He swallowed. "Guys, thank you. I'm so sorry, you must think I'm such an idiot."
(Darren Fox in Adam & Eve & Steve)
Marcus's stomach twisted as Darren just broke down even more. "Of course we don't think you're an idiot," he said gently. "It's-" 'Okay' was so wrong, so out of place. 'Normal' was even worse.
"It's not stupid," Marcus settled on, "to grieve."
He squeezed Darren's shoulder again. "Don't ever think it's stupid. You deserve it, to be able to do it."
"We all do."
((Marcus Leung continued in Adam & Eve & Steve))
"It's not stupid," Marcus settled on, "to grieve."
He squeezed Darren's shoulder again. "Don't ever think it's stupid. You deserve it, to be able to do it."
"We all do."
((Marcus Leung continued in Adam & Eve & Steve))
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
Phoebe kept quiet, fearful of once more putting her foot in her mouth, but continuing her shaking hums.
Sometimes silence wasn't so bad, she figured.
Phoebe Cho, girl no. 31, continued in: ELSEWHERE
Sometimes silence wasn't so bad, she figured.
Phoebe Cho, girl no. 31, continued in: ELSEWHERE