The V3 Read-A-thon Redux
- Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2569
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
The V3 Read-A-thon Redux
The rules are simple enough. You post that you want a character and I will give you one randomly from the list below. Read through the character and then post what you thought of them, though that is not mandatory. However, if you could, please let me know if you would or would not recommend the character to readers. If you were the writer of one of these characters and would not like them to be included, let me know and I will remove them from the list.
SOME SPECIFIC HOUSE RULES FOR V3
- Since the old V3 read-a-thon still had some lingering assignments hangin, if you are one of the people that still has a character and you want to keep that character for this read-a-thon as well, let me know and they will remain yours! Let me know as soon as possible though.
- If you don't like a character, that's cool! Not everyone likes everything nor is everything likable. However, please no personal attacks on the writers. Keep your criticisms to the character.
- We like to have fun, but try not to be too mean-spirited with your critiques. You'll get a slap on the wrist (or you'll be outfitted with a special mask and sent out to kill your friends).
- Some of the kids below have a content warning marked by an asterisk meaning they have extreme violence, sex or some other disturbing feature. If you do not want one of these kids, let me know and I'll get you a new one.
You got all that? Great. I've received the blessing of Persy, host of the OG V3 RAT and I've hired a young priest and an old priest. Please keep your hands and arms inside the vehicle at all times and try not to summon back any more elder gods.
SOME SPECIFIC HOUSE RULES FOR V3
- Since the old V3 read-a-thon still had some lingering assignments hangin, if you are one of the people that still has a character and you want to keep that character for this read-a-thon as well, let me know and they will remain yours! Let me know as soon as possible though.
- If you don't like a character, that's cool! Not everyone likes everything nor is everything likable. However, please no personal attacks on the writers. Keep your criticisms to the character.
- We like to have fun, but try not to be too mean-spirited with your critiques. You'll get a slap on the wrist (or you'll be outfitted with a special mask and sent out to kill your friends).
- Some of the kids below have a content warning marked by an asterisk meaning they have extreme violence, sex or some other disturbing feature. If you do not want one of these kids, let me know and I'll get you a new one.
You got all that? Great. I've received the blessing of Persy, host of the OG V3 RAT and I've hired a young priest and an old priest. Please keep your hands and arms inside the vehicle at all times and try not to summon back any more elder gods.
- Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2569
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
[Original critique by Jimmydalad]
Ok, so apparently Jodene is one of Dodd's characters, returning to the site and going under the name Lucid, who tried to be the dullest character possible and see if anyone recognised it was him. That's something I'll need to keep in mind coming into this.
From the get go, what we know about Jodene is that she's average. Her averageness is extremely painful. Her appearance and biography make a total of two paragraphs, so we don't get much else from her apart from how she's "a fairly average looking girl". For some reason we get a lot of variations of "Jodene is not very ___ nor is she very ___" throughout and I think Dodd did so with the intent of emphasising just how boring she is. The only real defining things about her physical appearance apart from her blonde hair and blue eyes are her large bust that she tries to show off and her penchant for tight clothing, though we have no indication she was wearing said tight clothing on the island.
One thing that caught me by surprise was that she was 19 years old, yet there's nothing in her profile stating why she was still in the 12th grade. So, she used to think she wanted to be a police officer, but after watching a career studies documentary, she decides she wants to be a hair stylist? We don't get any reason she does this, so I'm just going to assume she realized she wasn't smart enough to be a policeman and aimed low with her expectations. This is because one of the only bits of personality I can gleam from her profile is that she has a bit of an inferiority complex being compared to her smarter siblings. Some of her advantages and disadvantages are highly questionable or irrelevant such as the fact that she has a nice singing voice. Her intelligence as a disadvantage is questionable because even though her profile says she isn't smart, it also says she's isn't stupid and I don't really think average intelligence is really a bad thing compared to other kids. Also, none of her hobbies and interests are even mentioned in the biography, but I attribute that to early version weirdness more than anything.
Her first thread of three is a short oneshot where we see how Jodene finds the motivation to play the game. It's at this point I realise that she's one of the kids who magically turns up around day 3, but at least Dodd provides justification for her absence by stating that she'd just been lost in the jungle and hadn't seen anyone the entire time. It may not be the strongest justification, but at least it's there and services Jodene's plot. It's about as generic a villain birth plot is, she gets frustrated with being lost, then looks at her weapon and thinks "this would be something a player wants". She then quickly concludes, like any logical and well-grounded person, that playing is the only way to live because no one had her back. She also justifies that people were already playing and that if she won, she'd stand out which ties into her whole inferiority complex. While there's nothing majorly wrong with it apart from a few missing apostrophes here and there, it's not very interesting. One must wonder why Jodene didn't think about just going in a single direction like she does at the end of this thread in the last two days, but at least she gets out of the jungle. It's nice that there's a reason more than just "oooh I wanna kill" with the inferiority complex thing, but it's only mentioned here and there in the first thread and then never touched upon again.
We join Jolene in Lilacs and Lolitas, not seeming to have many hang ups with the thought of killing her classmates and encounters the group of Khrysta, Corbin, Mary, Matthew, and Neil checking out dead kids' collars to see how they work. Coincidentally, we have two examples of handler incest in this thread with Mary and Jolene both being played by Dodd while Corbin and Neil are both played by Theseus. I like how Jodene uses her averageness to her advantage. While there isn't much to her narrative from this point on apart from planning out Khrysta's death, it's nice to see the idea being explore at least a little. The announcement goes out and she gets disdainful because people are sad about it, particularly Matt. It seemed like those few thoughts back in the jungle were all it took for the killer switch to be entirely flipped. She decides to take out Khrysta as the leader of the group and some lingering displeasure from Khrysta's treatment of her at home. Some more planning out the kill in her head and small interactions with Khyrsta about the collars, a few more missing apostrophes and misspellings, and then she takes out her knife and thrusts it upwards through Khrysta's jaw. It's at this point we see Dodd piloting Jodene after 3 weeks of him not posting, having dropped Lucid because he found it too difficult to continue writing intentionally badly, and takes her to her death by Wade in The Pretender, but not before getting hit in the leg by one of the bullets Corbin started to fire rapidly. At this point, Dodd's keeping up the façade by telling Meg as Lucid that he was having computer issues and couldn't stay active with her anymore. Honestly, trying to piece the OOC machinations of Dodd is much more interesting than anything Jodene does and were highlights of the reading experience of Jodene.
And we enter the inactive purge thread of The Pretender, featuring another of Dodd's characters, Wade Wilson. At this point, Wade has completely lost the concept of a fourth wall, talking with the narrator, and has just seen Braden, Joe, Kobe, and Mortimer as demonic skeletons for some reason. Jodene, who at this point is now regretting being branded a killer and wants to find a group. Trying to catch up to the group of boys, she manages to walk in while Wade is in the middle of his massacre. She gasps and freezes in fear, getting the attention of Wade. Seeing her as a succubus and blaming Adam Dodd, he tosses a spear at her which pierces her torso and causes her death.
The little bit that Dodd writes for her is much better quality than the rest of Jodene's time on the island, but I've decided not to include it in my analysis because it was an inactive death, even if Lucid and Dodd are the same person.
Jodene's a barebones player and there's nearly nothing that makes her unique. Apart from a few missing apostrophes and misspellings, there's nothing majorly wrong with the writing. The issue is that the content is generic and boring, which is what Dodd was trying to achieve so in a way it's pretty brilliant how uninspiring a character Jodene was. Jodene is fun to look back on with the knowledge of Dodd's OOC machinations and there was a potential for someone as generic as Jodene to be interesting, as I mentioned in the Lilacs and Lolitas thread. However, that was never Dodd's intentions with Jodene. Jodene was made to be intentionally bad and boring and it's a testament to how good Dodd's writing usually is that no one caught onto the truth of Lucid until he came back. Screw you Dodd for making me read one of the most generic characters in SOTF history.
Personal Highlights:
Her parents still support Jodene in her goals, but she always wonders how things would be if she were just a little bit smarter. This sentence from her profile made me cackle.
[[i hope this is fine for a first post, ive tried to read some others and make mine sort of the same!]] Here we see Dodd mimicking a first-time poster in SOTF. Once you realise this is Dodd, the OOC stuff becomes infinitely more interesting than anything Jodene does.
A person as nonthreatening as Jodene might be able to surprise them, and if they had good weapons, it might prove to be a good idea. This is the start and end of an interesting idea that could've been explored with Jodene and I'm a little sad it never was.
((As per Lucid's computer issues that Meg has explained to me, I'm going to go ahead and take control of Jodene so this thread will ...y'know, move along a little bit.)) More of OOC Dodd machinations. It's impressive how long he managed to keep this a secret until he came back around November of last year.
Hit me with another character.
Ok, so apparently Jodene is one of Dodd's characters, returning to the site and going under the name Lucid, who tried to be the dullest character possible and see if anyone recognised it was him. That's something I'll need to keep in mind coming into this.
From the get go, what we know about Jodene is that she's average. Her averageness is extremely painful. Her appearance and biography make a total of two paragraphs, so we don't get much else from her apart from how she's "a fairly average looking girl". For some reason we get a lot of variations of "Jodene is not very ___ nor is she very ___" throughout and I think Dodd did so with the intent of emphasising just how boring she is. The only real defining things about her physical appearance apart from her blonde hair and blue eyes are her large bust that she tries to show off and her penchant for tight clothing, though we have no indication she was wearing said tight clothing on the island.
One thing that caught me by surprise was that she was 19 years old, yet there's nothing in her profile stating why she was still in the 12th grade. So, she used to think she wanted to be a police officer, but after watching a career studies documentary, she decides she wants to be a hair stylist? We don't get any reason she does this, so I'm just going to assume she realized she wasn't smart enough to be a policeman and aimed low with her expectations. This is because one of the only bits of personality I can gleam from her profile is that she has a bit of an inferiority complex being compared to her smarter siblings. Some of her advantages and disadvantages are highly questionable or irrelevant such as the fact that she has a nice singing voice. Her intelligence as a disadvantage is questionable because even though her profile says she isn't smart, it also says she's isn't stupid and I don't really think average intelligence is really a bad thing compared to other kids. Also, none of her hobbies and interests are even mentioned in the biography, but I attribute that to early version weirdness more than anything.
Her first thread of three is a short oneshot where we see how Jodene finds the motivation to play the game. It's at this point I realise that she's one of the kids who magically turns up around day 3, but at least Dodd provides justification for her absence by stating that she'd just been lost in the jungle and hadn't seen anyone the entire time. It may not be the strongest justification, but at least it's there and services Jodene's plot. It's about as generic a villain birth plot is, she gets frustrated with being lost, then looks at her weapon and thinks "this would be something a player wants". She then quickly concludes, like any logical and well-grounded person, that playing is the only way to live because no one had her back. She also justifies that people were already playing and that if she won, she'd stand out which ties into her whole inferiority complex. While there's nothing majorly wrong with it apart from a few missing apostrophes here and there, it's not very interesting. One must wonder why Jodene didn't think about just going in a single direction like she does at the end of this thread in the last two days, but at least she gets out of the jungle. It's nice that there's a reason more than just "oooh I wanna kill" with the inferiority complex thing, but it's only mentioned here and there in the first thread and then never touched upon again.
We join Jolene in Lilacs and Lolitas, not seeming to have many hang ups with the thought of killing her classmates and encounters the group of Khrysta, Corbin, Mary, Matthew, and Neil checking out dead kids' collars to see how they work. Coincidentally, we have two examples of handler incest in this thread with Mary and Jolene both being played by Dodd while Corbin and Neil are both played by Theseus. I like how Jodene uses her averageness to her advantage. While there isn't much to her narrative from this point on apart from planning out Khrysta's death, it's nice to see the idea being explore at least a little. The announcement goes out and she gets disdainful because people are sad about it, particularly Matt. It seemed like those few thoughts back in the jungle were all it took for the killer switch to be entirely flipped. She decides to take out Khrysta as the leader of the group and some lingering displeasure from Khrysta's treatment of her at home. Some more planning out the kill in her head and small interactions with Khyrsta about the collars, a few more missing apostrophes and misspellings, and then she takes out her knife and thrusts it upwards through Khrysta's jaw. It's at this point we see Dodd piloting Jodene after 3 weeks of him not posting, having dropped Lucid because he found it too difficult to continue writing intentionally badly, and takes her to her death by Wade in The Pretender, but not before getting hit in the leg by one of the bullets Corbin started to fire rapidly. At this point, Dodd's keeping up the façade by telling Meg as Lucid that he was having computer issues and couldn't stay active with her anymore. Honestly, trying to piece the OOC machinations of Dodd is much more interesting than anything Jodene does and were highlights of the reading experience of Jodene.
And we enter the inactive purge thread of The Pretender, featuring another of Dodd's characters, Wade Wilson. At this point, Wade has completely lost the concept of a fourth wall, talking with the narrator, and has just seen Braden, Joe, Kobe, and Mortimer as demonic skeletons for some reason. Jodene, who at this point is now regretting being branded a killer and wants to find a group. Trying to catch up to the group of boys, she manages to walk in while Wade is in the middle of his massacre. She gasps and freezes in fear, getting the attention of Wade. Seeing her as a succubus and blaming Adam Dodd, he tosses a spear at her which pierces her torso and causes her death.
The little bit that Dodd writes for her is much better quality than the rest of Jodene's time on the island, but I've decided not to include it in my analysis because it was an inactive death, even if Lucid and Dodd are the same person.
Jodene's a barebones player and there's nearly nothing that makes her unique. Apart from a few missing apostrophes and misspellings, there's nothing majorly wrong with the writing. The issue is that the content is generic and boring, which is what Dodd was trying to achieve so in a way it's pretty brilliant how uninspiring a character Jodene was. Jodene is fun to look back on with the knowledge of Dodd's OOC machinations and there was a potential for someone as generic as Jodene to be interesting, as I mentioned in the Lilacs and Lolitas thread. However, that was never Dodd's intentions with Jodene. Jodene was made to be intentionally bad and boring and it's a testament to how good Dodd's writing usually is that no one caught onto the truth of Lucid until he came back. Screw you Dodd for making me read one of the most generic characters in SOTF history.
Personal Highlights:
Her parents still support Jodene in her goals, but she always wonders how things would be if she were just a little bit smarter. This sentence from her profile made me cackle.
[[i hope this is fine for a first post, ive tried to read some others and make mine sort of the same!]] Here we see Dodd mimicking a first-time poster in SOTF. Once you realise this is Dodd, the OOC stuff becomes infinitely more interesting than anything Jodene does.
A person as nonthreatening as Jodene might be able to surprise them, and if they had good weapons, it might prove to be a good idea. This is the start and end of an interesting idea that could've been explored with Jodene and I'm a little sad it never was.
((As per Lucid's computer issues that Meg has explained to me, I'm going to go ahead and take control of Jodene so this thread will ...y'know, move along a little bit.)) More of OOC Dodd machinations. It's impressive how long he managed to keep this a secret until he came back around November of last year.
Hit me with another character.
- Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2569
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
[Original critique by Cactus]
All right. So as part of my penance for the horrors that I inflicted upon some of you in this very read-a-thon (and will likely inflict upon you), I am also participating.
Thankfully, I start off lightly, with a character who was created solely for the escape. So away we go, let's check out Lucy O'Donnell.
So... do I recommend Lucy? Honestly, I don't. I said above at some point that she's basically a tool to be used, one that shifts from Mitsuko to Megami to Mitsuko and finally to Elena, who's really the only one who attempts to capture her voice and give her true feelings. She's written competently, as is the usual for Elena, but her part in the escape and the overall cluster-fuck of the Armoury makes it hard for me to say "yeah, read her, she's great". She's okay, but her entire story is the one thread, and if you read someone like Brad or Neil or Dodd or someone instead, you get her whole story.
I think she's skippable unless you're reading the escape. She's an integral tool for that but she doesn't amount to much as a character.
I'll take another, I guess.
All right. So as part of my penance for the horrors that I inflicted upon some of you in this very read-a-thon (and will likely inflict upon you), I am also participating.
Thankfully, I start off lightly, with a character who was created solely for the escape. So away we go, let's check out Lucy O'Donnell.
So... do I recommend Lucy? Honestly, I don't. I said above at some point that she's basically a tool to be used, one that shifts from Mitsuko to Megami to Mitsuko and finally to Elena, who's really the only one who attempts to capture her voice and give her true feelings. She's written competently, as is the usual for Elena, but her part in the escape and the overall cluster-fuck of the Armoury makes it hard for me to say "yeah, read her, she's great". She's okay, but her entire story is the one thread, and if you read someone like Brad or Neil or Dodd or someone instead, you get her whole story.
I think she's skippable unless you're reading the escape. She's an integral tool for that but she doesn't amount to much as a character.
I'll take another, I guess.
- Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2569
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
[Original critique by Crossbowpig]
This may be the first time that someone who's written a character that I have to read has been around to answer questions as I was reading. Nice! I abused this.
I think I'd recommend reading through Morgan's last couple of posts as a crash course in why it might not be a good idea to go crazy with your formatting on this website that we call home, but I don't know if the rest of her story is really worth reading. Other than the format fuckery, she's pretty bland. Sorry if I didn't cover this very comprehensively, I have a bad headache from circumstances unrelated to SOTF right now and I'm also tired.
Could I get another drink, barkeep? I'm feeling a bit dry over here.
This may be the first time that someone who's written a character that I have to read has been around to answer questions as I was reading. Nice! I abused this.
I think I'd recommend reading through Morgan's last couple of posts as a crash course in why it might not be a good idea to go crazy with your formatting on this website that we call home, but I don't know if the rest of her story is really worth reading. Other than the format fuckery, she's pretty bland. Sorry if I didn't cover this very comprehensively, I have a bad headache from circumstances unrelated to SOTF right now and I'm also tired.
Could I get another drink, barkeep? I'm feeling a bit dry over here.
- Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2569
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
[Original critique by Kermit]
ugh damn time police
Herman Johnson is named Herman.
Pictured: Herman
Profile!
yeah so these seem like standard fare v3 nerdy kid hobbies. Nothing I'd consider bad, but nothing real original either (original doesn't necessarily mean good though motions towards the kid who had torturing animals as his hobby. He's got the standard v3 nerdy kid appearance. I feel like saying anything more will be redundant, so yeah he's a standard v3 nerdy kid/pseudo SI.
AaAaaAaAaAAAAaaAAaAAAAaaAHhHhHHhhHHHhHHhHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ok so TLDR Herman's life sucks and he's a nerd. Also he lives in Jersey City even though Southridge is in California (wow that must be one long commute)
also also he got v1!Dodd's AUTHENTIC wow shotgun so that's a thing i guess.
Pregame!
haha you thought he would have pregame C:
Herman doesn't know why he is on the island because he missed the first announcement because he was panicked, but, like, that's not when they tell you how SOTF works so im a bit confuddled. Herman, not knowing how to chill, is so fucking panicked that he hasn't eaten or opened his bag. FOR FIVE DAYS THIS IS DAY 5 WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
i though the madness wouldn't pop up yet :C darn
Herman sits down in the hollow tree and eats/drinks/opens his backpack because he remembered that he is a living being that requires sustenance or something yay herman! Jimmy Trejo's here now ( YES BLAST except he hasn't gone inactive yet so it's not blast writing him :c )!
I really like this quote c:
Jimmy cannot see too good so he uses his ELITE ECHOLOCATION SKILLZ to find Herman and then he takes out his blind-person cane and pretends to be a 100% blind person. He walks into the tree and sits down, AND BEFORE HERMAN CAN REACT...
no...
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOInjk nnjk nkjnINJDAOIDJNKFN KNRJKNJKEHIUHIH328 U98298298 289289'']]]]DP-=D-D -D-D-D-
:CCCCCCCC
cave centipedes crawl out of kermit's eyes
Melina pops out of a bush and is like "oh hello boys..... ...... me and my girls need a place to stay...... ...... would you please let us in...... ...... i hope you don't mind if we take our shirts off, they're restricting our large voluptuous breasts...... ...... ...... ...... ". Renee's here too and she wants to kill melina because renee is a good person occasionally, but for now she needs the P O I S O N A N G L E S for protection from Darn "Blood Boy" Hecker, so she's not doing any of that just yet.
Herman's like "hmmmmm jimmy might be blind but he also might not be blind hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm" and then immediately sees through Melina's ruse because she's not very good at manipulation. Herman runs the fuck away! Oh and here's Dacey yay ??????
wow ok there goes the 5th announcement. Herman falls down at Dacey's feet because he's a doofus and then goes inactive because his handler didn't know rolls were a thing
there's other stuff happening in the thread RE: melina and friends/also laeiiaieaiel burbank but im ignoring it because herman's not there to see it so >:-() oh no nevermind melina's flailing an axe at dacey
sorry im looking at unicode characters wow ֎Ѡܓ߄௵࿐࿙✀✁✂✃✄ look at all these scissors wow
☭ All ☭ right ☭ comrades ☭ so ☭ let's ☭ get ☭ back ☭ on ☭ track ☭ and ☭ go ☭ redistribute ☭ the ☭ wealth ☭ of ☭ the ☭ bourgeoisie ☭ pig ☭ Herman ☭ Johnson ☭.
wow unicode instills the same madness in me as v2 does. Weird.
So everyone's killing one another now and OH NO MITSUKO IS HANDLING HERMAN NOW which is a bad omen for herman's odds of surviving this post.
Laeaaeil's thrown a molotov at Melina, and Herman manages to shoot it somehow and then Melina gets set on fire I guess. Melina's like "AAAaAAAAaaaAaAAAAaaAAaAAaAAaHhHhHHHhHHhHHh!" and then she thinks my favourite thought:
And then she throws an axe at herman and herman is killed to death.
Well ok then. >_>
???????????????? wow
Conclusion: ~~~~~ Sadly kermit looked at herman. he was so sad... such a sad herman... like him... he only waned a normal life... was that too much to ask? was it?
(Herman was ok, I guess. He did definitely have some problems, but I feel like if he hadn't gone inactive he could've done something neat maybe.)
Give me another, you ineffective time police lady.
ugh damn time police
Herman Johnson is named Herman.
Pictured: Herman
Profile!
I'm Herman?!Hobbies and Interests wrote:FPS games, survival horror games, media tropes, trying to convince people he knows what he's doing.
yeah so these seem like standard fare v3 nerdy kid hobbies. Nothing I'd consider bad, but nothing real original either (original doesn't necessarily mean good though motions towards the kid who had torturing animals as his hobby. He's got the standard v3 nerdy kid appearance. I feel like saying anything more will be redundant, so yeah he's a standard v3 nerdy kid/pseudo SI.
The First Line of His bio wrote:You really want to know about this guy? Well Ok. But, it's going to be boring.
AaAaaAaAaAAAAaaAAaAAAAaaAHhHhHHhhHHHhHHhHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ok so TLDR Herman's life sucks and he's a nerd. Also he lives in Jersey City even though Southridge is in California (wow that must be one long commute)
also also he got v1!Dodd's AUTHENTIC wow shotgun so that's a thing i guess.
Pregame!
haha you thought he would have pregame C:
shit dude this is on day 5 you've got some major fucking stamina. Should've been an olympic athlete instead of a [insert nerd profession here].Ever since he woke up, Herman had ran
Herman doesn't know why he is on the island because he missed the first announcement because he was panicked, but, like, that's not when they tell you how SOTF works so im a bit confuddled. Herman, not knowing how to chill, is so fucking panicked that he hasn't eaten or opened his bag. FOR FIVE DAYS THIS IS DAY 5 WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
i though the madness wouldn't pop up yet :C darn
Herman sits down in the hollow tree and eats/drinks/opens his backpack because he remembered that he is a living being that requires sustenance or something yay herman! Jimmy Trejo's here now ( YES BLAST except he hasn't gone inactive yet so it's not blast writing him :c )!
JIMMY MY BOY wrote: Whether he came out of the game dead or alive, he had already lost, but he would prefer to survive.
I really like this quote c:
Jimmy cannot see too good so he uses his ELITE ECHOLOCATION SKILLZ to find Herman and then he takes out his blind-person cane and pretends to be a 100% blind person. He walks into the tree and sits down, AND BEFORE HERMAN CAN REACT...
no...
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOInjk nnjk nkjnINJDAOIDJNKFN KNRJKNJKEHIUHIH328 U98298298 289289'']]]]DP-=D-D -D-D-D-
:CCCCCCCC
cave centipedes crawl out of kermit's eyes
Melina pops out of a bush and is like "oh hello boys..... ...... me and my girls need a place to stay...... ...... would you please let us in...... ...... i hope you don't mind if we take our shirts off, they're restricting our large voluptuous breasts...... ...... ...... ...... ". Renee's here too and she wants to kill melina because renee is a good person occasionally, but for now she needs the P O I S O N A N G L E S for protection from Darn "Blood Boy" Hecker, so she's not doing any of that just yet.
Herman's like "hmmmmm jimmy might be blind but he also might not be blind hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm" and then immediately sees through Melina's ruse because she's not very good at manipulation. Herman runs the fuck away! Oh and here's Dacey yay ??????
wow ok there goes the 5th announcement. Herman falls down at Dacey's feet because he's a doofus and then goes inactive because his handler didn't know rolls were a thing
there's other stuff happening in the thread RE: melina and friends/also laeiiaieaiel burbank but im ignoring it because herman's not there to see it so >:-() oh no nevermind melina's flailing an axe at dacey
sorry im looking at unicode characters wow ֎Ѡܓ߄௵࿐࿙✀✁✂✃✄ look at all these scissors wow
☭ All ☭ right ☭ comrades ☭ so ☭ let's ☭ get ☭ back ☭ on ☭ track ☭ and ☭ go ☭ redistribute ☭ the ☭ wealth ☭ of ☭ the ☭ bourgeoisie ☭ pig ☭ Herman ☭ Johnson ☭.
im jimmy im gonna set all of you on fire AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA AAAahHAHJimmy's brain thoughts wrote: I hope you bitches burn.
wow unicode instills the same madness in me as v2 does. Weird.
wrong melina is butter spreads melina on toast and eats her heheheheheheElena what wrote: From where Dacey was standing, Melina didn't look like butter.
So everyone's killing one another now and OH NO MITSUKO IS HANDLING HERMAN NOW which is a bad omen for herman's odds of surviving this post.
RUN HERMAN RUNherman no! wrote: No it was that smile that horrible smile that she wore. She approached them so cheerily it disturbed him to no end
yes herman shoot her do it do it do it do it do itHEEEEEEEERRRRRMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAN wrote: Could he do it? Could he shoot her?
SeEE ThIS iS whAt wOuLD'Ve HaPpeNeD If KiLLarY hAD woN ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! 1 1 1 1 11 1melinaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa wrote: "Y'know, you're only delaying the inevitable I don't understand why you can't just give it up. You men and your pride. Is that it? Don't want to have your pitiful little life taken away by someone with breasts? It's a fucking waste of time to try and get away. I'm going to enjoy ripping that worthless pride from your trembling bodies as I kill you. That's right. I'M going to end that miserable little thing you call a li-"
Laeaaeil's thrown a molotov at Melina, and Herman manages to shoot it somehow and then Melina gets set on fire I guess. Melina's like "AAAaAAAAaaaAaAAAAaaAAaAAaAAaHhHhHHHhHHhHHh!" and then she thinks my favourite thought:
m'lena[/quote wrote: Was this how Paul Smith felt?
And then she throws an axe at herman and herman is killed to death.
Well ok then. >_>
???????????????? wow
Conclusion: ~~~~~ Sadly kermit looked at herman. he was so sad... such a sad herman... like him... he only waned a normal life... was that too much to ask? was it?
(Herman was ok, I guess. He did definitely have some problems, but I feel like if he hadn't gone inactive he could've done something neat maybe.)
Give me another, you ineffective time police lady.
- Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2569
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
[Original critique by Cactus]
What little I know of Carson Baye comes from second-hand jokes and references, so if I knew about him while V3 was going on, I've purged it from my memory, like so much from that era. Into the abyss we go.
That was as bad as the memes and the jokes have led me to believe. What did you do at work today, Adam? OH NOTHING, JUST READ THE EQUIVALENT OF MIND CENTIPEDES.
I can't even say I read a really shitty death, because then it's a joke.
All I can say is that I did not enjoy myself. Whatsoever. This character interacted with Lulu, Lenny, Morgan, Eris and some other pretty decent characters that make it late into the game, and delivers nothing except in-jokes and in my opinion brings down the scene quality.
Skip this character. Skip them at all costs. Don't even read for the meme-death. It isn't very good, and honestly this is just a waste of everyone's time. I know we're supposed to not be mean, but like... this just isn't good and is illustrative of the two-headed v3 effect.
Somehow, I'm blaming myself for this. I'm not sure how, but I just am.
I'll take another, and I am wholeheartedly regretting my decision to do so.
What little I know of Carson Baye comes from second-hand jokes and references, so if I knew about him while V3 was going on, I've purged it from my memory, like so much from that era. Into the abyss we go.
That was as bad as the memes and the jokes have led me to believe. What did you do at work today, Adam? OH NOTHING, JUST READ THE EQUIVALENT OF MIND CENTIPEDES.
I can't even say I read a really shitty death, because then it's a joke.
All I can say is that I did not enjoy myself. Whatsoever. This character interacted with Lulu, Lenny, Morgan, Eris and some other pretty decent characters that make it late into the game, and delivers nothing except in-jokes and in my opinion brings down the scene quality.
Skip this character. Skip them at all costs. Don't even read for the meme-death. It isn't very good, and honestly this is just a waste of everyone's time. I know we're supposed to not be mean, but like... this just isn't good and is illustrative of the two-headed v3 effect.
Somehow, I'm blaming myself for this. I'm not sure how, but I just am.
I'll take another, and I am wholeheartedly regretting my decision to do so.
- Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2569
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
[Original critique by Jimmydalad]
CONTENT WARNING: NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART
Hit me with another one.
CONTENT WARNING: NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART
Hit me with another one.
- Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2569
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
[Original critique by Inge]
Alright, alright, alright! I got a Cyco character, if I remember correctly from the V2 Rat he had 5 hits out of 6 with his characters so I'm looking forward to this.
Alright, so Dennis. For the most part his profile is fine. He has a distinctive appearance and a interesting character concept, a nice kid with nerdy hobbies who grows up to identify with his Irish heritage and obsess over it to the point of stereotypicallness despite the fact that about a quarter of his blood is irish. His family being from mostly french and english backgrounds. Other than that, it doesn't go that much into his family situation.
The last paragraph deals with his SOTF fandom and how he rooted for Dodd and Calvert in their respective versions. It shows how differently SOTF was viewed back then, sort of in the same vein of TV on mini, but it doesn't really work since it's done by terrorists compared to TV so yeah. Also the last bit about Dennis apparently thinking he's having the luck of the irish. So there's that.
We're in agreement on that by the way. Kid should have gone to Vegas.
The last lines is solely Dodd shilling and is weirdly written. The whole thing is written in a casual tone throughout, but the last lines barely reads like something that should be in a profile and would probably be rewritten today to be more about Dennis.
It is quite short at about 4 paragraphs and a few lines beneath the last one and it barely goes into his advantages and disadvantages so that would need work. Also for some reason his conclusion isn't filled out. Somebody should get to that.
Anyways, Dennis only has one thread. Rinse, Repeat. It's one of those V3 thread that have like 5 pages, but most of it are like disconnected from each other since so many people go through them that you have to look for your character, which is really annoying. He starts on page 2 near the bottom and dies around the middle of page 3.
He's one of the really late comers into the game, it apparently being on day 7 at this point? If I'm reading the other posts right. Which is really weird considering Cyco doesn't really go into that as Dennis doesn't know what day it is and he doesn't elaborate on what he's been doing up to this point.
Of course, then he's immediately greeted with a hail satan by Lucy Arber who also only shows up in this thread and is a wannabe witch satanist person.
In case you haven't noticed, she's evil.
She also hates Dennis and apparently bullied him for years. She gets to work taunting him and they have a little back and forth here before it turns into a fight between them.
Short posts are exchanged where they wound each other with their weapons and tussle around for a bit before she kills him with her weapon. A Doliore? I looked it up and didn't get anything on what it is or any pictures, instead google keeps autocorrecting it to Dolipore which are specialised walls in between cells in fungi. Don't know why I felt the need to tell you that, maybe it was to educate you on fungi or to pad out this review since there isn't a whole lot to Dennis, his posts are short enough as is and since he's immediately thrust into a confrontation you don't really get a sense for the guy.
It is a nice fight between the two though and he is written well by Cyco and he follows stuff from the profile, he tries to stop the fight at times and is taken aback when he thinks he hurt Lucy at the start of it. So I guess I can recommend him. He's a short enough read.
Another one please.
Alright, alright, alright! I got a Cyco character, if I remember correctly from the V2 Rat he had 5 hits out of 6 with his characters so I'm looking forward to this.
Alright, so Dennis. For the most part his profile is fine. He has a distinctive appearance and a interesting character concept, a nice kid with nerdy hobbies who grows up to identify with his Irish heritage and obsess over it to the point of stereotypicallness despite the fact that about a quarter of his blood is irish. His family being from mostly french and english backgrounds. Other than that, it doesn't go that much into his family situation.
The last paragraph deals with his SOTF fandom and how he rooted for Dodd and Calvert in their respective versions. It shows how differently SOTF was viewed back then, sort of in the same vein of TV on mini, but it doesn't really work since it's done by terrorists compared to TV so yeah. Also the last bit about Dennis apparently thinking he's having the luck of the irish. So there's that.
We're in agreement on that by the way. Kid should have gone to Vegas.
The last lines is solely Dodd shilling and is weirdly written. The whole thing is written in a casual tone throughout, but the last lines barely reads like something that should be in a profile and would probably be rewritten today to be more about Dennis.
It is quite short at about 4 paragraphs and a few lines beneath the last one and it barely goes into his advantages and disadvantages so that would need work. Also for some reason his conclusion isn't filled out. Somebody should get to that.
Anyways, Dennis only has one thread. Rinse, Repeat. It's one of those V3 thread that have like 5 pages, but most of it are like disconnected from each other since so many people go through them that you have to look for your character, which is really annoying. He starts on page 2 near the bottom and dies around the middle of page 3.
He's one of the really late comers into the game, it apparently being on day 7 at this point? If I'm reading the other posts right. Which is really weird considering Cyco doesn't really go into that as Dennis doesn't know what day it is and he doesn't elaborate on what he's been doing up to this point.
Of course, then he's immediately greeted with a hail satan by Lucy Arber who also only shows up in this thread and is a wannabe witch satanist person.
In case you haven't noticed, she's evil.
She also hates Dennis and apparently bullied him for years. She gets to work taunting him and they have a little back and forth here before it turns into a fight between them.
Short posts are exchanged where they wound each other with their weapons and tussle around for a bit before she kills him with her weapon. A Doliore? I looked it up and didn't get anything on what it is or any pictures, instead google keeps autocorrecting it to Dolipore which are specialised walls in between cells in fungi. Don't know why I felt the need to tell you that, maybe it was to educate you on fungi or to pad out this review since there isn't a whole lot to Dennis, his posts are short enough as is and since he's immediately thrust into a confrontation you don't really get a sense for the guy.
It is a nice fight between the two though and he is written well by Cyco and he follows stuff from the profile, he tries to stop the fight at times and is taken aback when he thinks he hurt Lucy at the start of it. So I guess I can recommend him. He's a short enough read.
Another one please.
- Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2569
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
[Original critique by Inge]
Chase is one of early era SOTF's 50/50 writers. In that the writing in of itself is fine, but the content can go from "This is intersting and I want to read more." to "Oh my god, why!!!!!!????" Her concepts are a bit all over the place in terms of execution and in V3's case, the one she has the least involvement in. Which sucks as that is the version with her arguably best ones.
Ok, so Melissa's profile has been redacted by her handler. Most likely because she was a self insert(her second SI, the first being Marie Zaid from V1) and putting her life story on a murder site that hits pretty high on the google searches might be a bad idea in retrospect. So Melissa only has her appearance and only one post in a oneshot called Those Who Can't.
Half her post consists of her journal, she's writing her personal feelings regarding SOTF, her relationships with other people and she's probably alienated from them. She also writes about witnessesing a few murders, not stated which, and that she was at first disgusted, but intrigued by the second and third. Her post ends with a journal piece that hints at Melissa turning playerish.
And then it leads into the fifth announcement where four inactives gets their collars blown because of SADD's antics. Shame.
The writing in Melissa's post is fine. The contents could have lead to interesting stuff with the journal, but instead it's never lead up on and she ends up one of the unfortunate few with nothing to her.
Can't recommend.
Another please.
Chase is one of early era SOTF's 50/50 writers. In that the writing in of itself is fine, but the content can go from "This is intersting and I want to read more." to "Oh my god, why!!!!!!????" Her concepts are a bit all over the place in terms of execution and in V3's case, the one she has the least involvement in. Which sucks as that is the version with her arguably best ones.
Ok, so Melissa's profile has been redacted by her handler. Most likely because she was a self insert(her second SI, the first being Marie Zaid from V1) and putting her life story on a murder site that hits pretty high on the google searches might be a bad idea in retrospect. So Melissa only has her appearance and only one post in a oneshot called Those Who Can't.
Half her post consists of her journal, she's writing her personal feelings regarding SOTF, her relationships with other people and she's probably alienated from them. She also writes about witnessesing a few murders, not stated which, and that she was at first disgusted, but intrigued by the second and third. Her post ends with a journal piece that hints at Melissa turning playerish.
And then it leads into the fifth announcement where four inactives gets their collars blown because of SADD's antics. Shame.
The writing in Melissa's post is fine. The contents could have lead to interesting stuff with the journal, but instead it's never lead up on and she ends up one of the unfortunate few with nothing to her.
Can't recommend.
Another please.
- Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2569
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
[Original critique by Impereld]
Antonio's profile states his age as 18 ½. This would make sense if he was six, as when you're six that half a year is a sizeable fraction of your life. Less so at eighteen. I don't hate it, but I don't think it'd be allowed on a profile today, even if it is more specific.
His hobbies are Arnis, which his profile helpfully tells me is Filipino stickfighting, comics, ornithology and liqour. Oh, Antonio, you were doing so well up until that last point.
His description is pretty good despite all the comments in brackets, except for
It talks about his family, it's mostly good except it mentions he has trust issues with other people, which I would have liked some more information on. I'm not asking for a dark backstory or anything, but more about how it affects his life.
Then it goes on about his philosophy and how it's at odds with his nature and you know what, I like conflicted characters, I really do. People aren't always rational, and the difficulty in choosing between something you feel is right and something you know is correct can make for compelling reading. But I'm a little worried this is one of those characters that wants to have its cake and eat it too.
And then there's a sidenote about his drinking and you know what, I get the whole "drinking as a cultural ritual" thing, but I might have put the interest as "drinking" instead of "liquor" to represent that.
And his advantages and disadvantages are mostly good. I'm not sure how much I believe the whole pacifist thing and I might've removed the explosives, as it doesn't seem to follow.
Game Start!
Oh wow, I forgot about the whole "characters coming in partway through the game." That's weird to me. I don't think I like it.
So he runs into the chapel to pray and then immediately starts swinging about a crucifix. Okay.
And naturally he won't allow killing in god's house while also getting ready to attack someone. Wow. I'm going to be nice and assume this cognitive dissonance is intentional.
And it's an inactive kill. Damn.
And Antonio goes berserk and beats Pascal to death, but Pascal pulls on his collar and Anthony goes boom, because neither the handler nor Help seem to know which is actually his name.
I would not recommend Anthony or Antonio.
Umm. Another, please?
Antonio's profile states his age as 18 ½. This would make sense if he was six, as when you're six that half a year is a sizeable fraction of your life. Less so at eighteen. I don't hate it, but I don't think it'd be allowed on a profile today, even if it is more specific.
His hobbies are Arnis, which his profile helpfully tells me is Filipino stickfighting, comics, ornithology and liqour. Oh, Antonio, you were doing so well up until that last point.
His description is pretty good despite all the comments in brackets, except for
So, onto his biography. The very second sentence tells me he reads a lot, but beyond comics, reading isn't an interest. And then we learn he reads "commando" style books on explosives and guerrilla warfare. My premade player siren is going off in the background.a thin piano-wire bracelet around his left wrist, mainly for the fact that most people wouldn't see it as a weapon.
which given that this is V3 doesn't fill me with hope. I like the fact he's described as vaugely bruised all the time, because that is right, most people end up with little bruises and cuts in physical MMA-type training.
It talks about his family, it's mostly good except it mentions he has trust issues with other people, which I would have liked some more information on. I'm not asking for a dark backstory or anything, but more about how it affects his life.
Then it goes on about his philosophy and how it's at odds with his nature and you know what, I like conflicted characters, I really do. People aren't always rational, and the difficulty in choosing between something you feel is right and something you know is correct can make for compelling reading. But I'm a little worried this is one of those characters that wants to have its cake and eat it too.
And then there's a sidenote about his drinking and you know what, I get the whole "drinking as a cultural ritual" thing, but I might have put the interest as "drinking" instead of "liquor" to represent that.
And his advantages and disadvantages are mostly good. I'm not sure how much I believe the whole pacifist thing and I might've removed the explosives, as it doesn't seem to follow.
Game Start!
Oh wow, I forgot about the whole "characters coming in partway through the game." That's weird to me. I don't think I like it.
So he runs into the chapel to pray and then immediately starts swinging about a crucifix. Okay.
And naturally he won't allow killing in god's house while also getting ready to attack someone. Wow. I'm going to be nice and assume this cognitive dissonance is intentional.
And it's an inactive kill. Damn.
And Antonio goes berserk and beats Pascal to death, but Pascal pulls on his collar and Anthony goes boom, because neither the handler nor Help seem to know which is actually his name.
I would not recommend Anthony or Antonio.
Umm. Another, please?
- Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2569
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
[Original critique by Inge]
From what I have seen of Ciel\s V3 writing. It has a very informal tone to it all, specially the profiles. He doesn't have any hobbies or interests, instead listed as he's open to most things. Except surfing, he loves that.
We learn a bit about him and his family, his paretns were hippies in the 60's protesting the vietnam war and apparantly moved to Higland to live with relatives? It's not written concretely as it's an excuse Quale says? The whole profile is written like this and contains very little history about the guy. It's written more about his character and his personality. His standing is that he's popular and someone who's willing to pretend he likes someone when he doesn't. An all around nice guy who's popular with the student body.
His disadvanatges feels kinda contradictory? He's according to it a peacefull dove who doesn't believe in violence, but will play the game if he believes it's his destiny? What? And then it reaffirms that he will never play, even in self defense...Alright.
Quale's time on the island is weird. To put it simply. While Ciel follows the profile in how Quale acts and thinks and how he reaffirms to Braden Marsh that he's not going to play. It's a nice back and forth between the two. And then more people join the thread, it goes smoothly for a while and then suddendly there's a mmessage from Chase to not Godmod then he's suddenly taken over by Namira and he's out of the thread, convinced a nearby female student, Julia Lauper, is a vampire.
I think I know where this is going.
Quale ends up in the graveyard and convinced that Bobby Jacks is a zombie, shoots him. Bobby is protected by his bulletproof vest and gets up when Quale gets closer to look and the two get into a little fight that ends with Bobby shooting and beating Quale to death. The writing isn't bad during this, but it's written in one huge post and he has to share the spotlight with Bobby Jacks and well, it's mostly about Bobby.
I guess I can recommend Quale. Dude's a short read at two threads and spends the majority of his time in the first just having a peaceful conversation. But after an OOC message from a mod, he's taken over by Namira for his death scene. It's a nice death scene yeah, brutal as fuck as per V3. So you are given time to digest and care for his character.
Another one please.
From what I have seen of Ciel\s V3 writing. It has a very informal tone to it all, specially the profiles. He doesn't have any hobbies or interests, instead listed as he's open to most things. Except surfing, he loves that.
We learn a bit about him and his family, his paretns were hippies in the 60's protesting the vietnam war and apparantly moved to Higland to live with relatives? It's not written concretely as it's an excuse Quale says? The whole profile is written like this and contains very little history about the guy. It's written more about his character and his personality. His standing is that he's popular and someone who's willing to pretend he likes someone when he doesn't. An all around nice guy who's popular with the student body.
His disadvanatges feels kinda contradictory? He's according to it a peacefull dove who doesn't believe in violence, but will play the game if he believes it's his destiny? What? And then it reaffirms that he will never play, even in self defense...Alright.
Quale's time on the island is weird. To put it simply. While Ciel follows the profile in how Quale acts and thinks and how he reaffirms to Braden Marsh that he's not going to play. It's a nice back and forth between the two. And then more people join the thread, it goes smoothly for a while and then suddendly there's a mmessage from Chase to not Godmod then he's suddenly taken over by Namira and he's out of the thread, convinced a nearby female student, Julia Lauper, is a vampire.
I think I know where this is going.
Quale ends up in the graveyard and convinced that Bobby Jacks is a zombie, shoots him. Bobby is protected by his bulletproof vest and gets up when Quale gets closer to look and the two get into a little fight that ends with Bobby shooting and beating Quale to death. The writing isn't bad during this, but it's written in one huge post and he has to share the spotlight with Bobby Jacks and well, it's mostly about Bobby.
I guess I can recommend Quale. Dude's a short read at two threads and spends the majority of his time in the first just having a peaceful conversation. But after an OOC message from a mod, he's taken over by Namira for his death scene. It's a nice death scene yeah, brutal as fuck as per V3. So you are given time to digest and care for his character.
Another one please.
- Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2569
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
[Original critique by Cicada]
Won't be asking for another.
Won't be asking for another.
- Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2569
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
[Original critique by Inge]
Elizabeth is written by Rhys, who brought us the wonderful Liam Black so I would look forward to this wonderful tale of insanity and bombasticness if it weren't for the fact that in the original Read-A-Thon I had Elizabeth, so I remember most of her journey. Since it was one thread. And a kill by Megami that the mod admitted wasn't that good. So.
Yeah.
But first! Her profile!
Man, the varying ways these profiles are written is bothering me honestly. Hobbies and interests are wrritten in their own paragraph, and with Elizabeth it's mostly about hunting.
Her appearance is three paragraphs long and mostly about how boyish she looks or the fact her left arm doesn't work. Nothing on her clothing so I'm assuming she's a nudist.
Elizabeth is a tomboy who's parents wanted a child of their same gender. When her mother won out, her father just treated her like a son anyways. It goes into this for a bit and how she bonds with her father before...
The accident
Her father's attacked and killed by a mountain lion, who proceeds to nearly eat Elizabeth's arm off. After that a paragraph about her regaining her wil to go hunting and wer're off to the advantages/disadvantages.
Knows how to use guns. Well versed in hiking and can tell the difference between poisonous plants.
Can't use left arm and problems climbing. She apparantly doesn't like running which is weird for someone who regularly goes hunting, but alright.
As I wrote earlier, Elizabeth only has one thread in the hospital. THERE'S ONLY SO MUCH...
Half this thread isn't even her as people keep coming in and out. There's a cameo appearance by Lenny and Elisabeth at one point, but they quickly leave. Sharon and Warren debut in this thread. Sharon leaves quickly as well after a conversation with Warren.
So to recap. She wakes up at the hospital, has a short conversation with Warren Pace which quickly gets awkward as Warren bails on the thread as Elizabeth's not responding. Afra Jacinth debuts and leaves in the same post as the hospital is turned into a danger zone and Elizabeth's quickly killed.
The writing is technically fine and compared to Liam Black, Elizabeth is downright believable as person and I like the writing behind her. But there isn't a lot to her, very few posts and she's killed very quickly in a short post as well.
Can't recommend.
Another please.
Elizabeth is written by Rhys, who brought us the wonderful Liam Black so I would look forward to this wonderful tale of insanity and bombasticness if it weren't for the fact that in the original Read-A-Thon I had Elizabeth, so I remember most of her journey. Since it was one thread. And a kill by Megami that the mod admitted wasn't that good. So.
Yeah.
But first! Her profile!
Man, the varying ways these profiles are written is bothering me honestly. Hobbies and interests are wrritten in their own paragraph, and with Elizabeth it's mostly about hunting.
Her appearance is three paragraphs long and mostly about how boyish she looks or the fact her left arm doesn't work. Nothing on her clothing so I'm assuming she's a nudist.
Elizabeth is a tomboy who's parents wanted a child of their same gender. When her mother won out, her father just treated her like a son anyways. It goes into this for a bit and how she bonds with her father before...
The accident
Her father's attacked and killed by a mountain lion, who proceeds to nearly eat Elizabeth's arm off. After that a paragraph about her regaining her wil to go hunting and wer're off to the advantages/disadvantages.
Knows how to use guns. Well versed in hiking and can tell the difference between poisonous plants.
Can't use left arm and problems climbing. She apparantly doesn't like running which is weird for someone who regularly goes hunting, but alright.
As I wrote earlier, Elizabeth only has one thread in the hospital. THERE'S ONLY SO MUCH...
Half this thread isn't even her as people keep coming in and out. There's a cameo appearance by Lenny and Elisabeth at one point, but they quickly leave. Sharon and Warren debut in this thread. Sharon leaves quickly as well after a conversation with Warren.
So to recap. She wakes up at the hospital, has a short conversation with Warren Pace which quickly gets awkward as Warren bails on the thread as Elizabeth's not responding. Afra Jacinth debuts and leaves in the same post as the hospital is turned into a danger zone and Elizabeth's quickly killed.
The writing is technically fine and compared to Liam Black, Elizabeth is downright believable as person and I like the writing behind her. But there isn't a lot to her, very few posts and she's killed very quickly in a short post as well.
Can't recommend.
Another please.
- Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2569
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
[Original Critique by Blastinus]
You know, despite Neil Sinclair having such a huge impact on V3, I've never actually followed his story. His SADD team cast a huge shadow on the game, and yet I haven't gone in-depth on the team, That changes today!
Let us begin.
I can't say that I really liked Neil's portrayal. He seems like he means well, but he's so one-note and never provides a tangible goal for his team, so it's hard to say that he was really an effective leader. I would say that he's okay, not amazing, but not terrible either. When you consider the bottom of the barrel in V3, being average isn't the worst thing.
Can I do another?
You know, despite Neil Sinclair having such a huge impact on V3, I've never actually followed his story. His SADD team cast a huge shadow on the game, and yet I haven't gone in-depth on the team, That changes today!
Let us begin.
I can't say that I really liked Neil's portrayal. He seems like he means well, but he's so one-note and never provides a tangible goal for his team, so it's hard to say that he was really an effective leader. I would say that he's okay, not amazing, but not terrible either. When you consider the bottom of the barrel in V3, being average isn't the worst thing.
Can I do another?
- Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2569
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
[Original critique by Blastinus]
I have never heard of Marnie Yaguchi before, which surprises me, since I was actually in V3 for a short while. Once again, this should be illuminating.
What's notable about Marnie's profile is that there's nothing notable, and her handler Mimi notes the lack of notability. She had a perfectly ordinary and peaceful upbringing with no tragedy or traumatic incidents. She's a dancer and likes to be creative with her hair, and apparently her attitude is pretty steady and easygoing.
Even her intro post is pretty straightforward. She composes her thoughts, muses aloud, laments that her weapon is a cheese grater, chokes up a bit when talking about her mom and dad to the cameras, and then she does nothing for five straight days to explain her late start. She is, however, early enough to catch Ivan Roeghmills before he gets himself Bobby Jacked. She shares pleasantries with him and a guy named Jake before they decide to head off on their own path. Dante Cooper's watching from a distance but Mimi's respectful enough to not immediately call him out, preferring to have Marnie just note that she heard something.
Anyway, she goes to fill her water bottles at the lagoon, only to notice the corpse of Jodene in the water with a spear sticking out of her. I believe that she still refills her water bottles, which is kind of...I don't want to think about it. Horrified, but wanting an actual weapon, she forces herself to swallow her disgust and yank the spear out for her own ends. Her distaste is evident and natural. She might be an ordinary character, but ordinary in the context of V3 is miles above. That done, she leaves, but not before asking about Dorian Ibanescu. She doesn't explain why, but the two of them are in Escape together, so we'll know sooner or later.
Next thread, Dante Cooper springs an ambush, which means that the previous thread was actual foreshadowing. Surprising. Pleasantly so. He's desperate for supplies and so he's going to pilfer hers. Seems reasonable, and Marnie complies, likely because she knows what's in that water. As she shares what she has, she sweet talks him into forming an alliance, and it's interesting how it's presented. Both of them think they're playing the other while simultaneously working for their mutual interests.
Seeking shelter from the rain in the next thread, she runs into Kathy Holden and Becky Holt, friends of hers from school. Though the group distrusts Dante, they grudgingly share their thoughts on the game thus far, but unfortunately, they're interrupted by the siren call of Escape. Marnie will become part of the Escape group, meeting up with Neil when Rio confronts him about Danya's punishment. For her part, Marnie stands up for Neil, pointing out that it was Danya who murdered those girls, not Neil.
This is the real clue about Marnie's character. She's got a slight cynical edge, but she's overall kind and willing to believe in people. Ultimately, she takes Neil up on his proposition and follows him to the thread where everyone gets their collars off, and she's fooled into believing Danya's announcement about the "dead" students who escaped, one among them being Dorian. Breaking down in despair, she flashes back to a time before the island, when Dorian was joking with her about how protective her parents were. As if on cue, he appears in the present, showing that the announcement of his death was extremely exaggerated. They embrace and share a tearful but happy moment, which is all too soon interrupted by the arrival of the terrorists.
Dorian and Marnie are some of the first students who make it to the rescue boat. Unwilling to leave without everyone else, she calls out anxiously for them to get down to the beach. As the shots ring out and she helps people onto the boat, she tries reassuring them that everything will be fine, that they're all going to make it, but she takes a bullet in the confusion and dies on the boat. Close to escape, and yet so far.
(Editor's note: I have been informed that while she did get shot, she didn't die from her wound. She's just waiting on an epilogue post as of the moment. My bad!)
It's really a shame that she doesn't make it have an epilogue, because I really liked Marnie's story arc. She has no ill-will for anyone, she's able to talk her way into alliances, she's understanding and patient, and overall she's just a very sweet girl. Even her last moments in the game were selfless and kind. I'd never heard of her before the read-a-thon, and now I wish that I had.
Another, please?
I have never heard of Marnie Yaguchi before, which surprises me, since I was actually in V3 for a short while. Once again, this should be illuminating.
What's notable about Marnie's profile is that there's nothing notable, and her handler Mimi notes the lack of notability. She had a perfectly ordinary and peaceful upbringing with no tragedy or traumatic incidents. She's a dancer and likes to be creative with her hair, and apparently her attitude is pretty steady and easygoing.
Even her intro post is pretty straightforward. She composes her thoughts, muses aloud, laments that her weapon is a cheese grater, chokes up a bit when talking about her mom and dad to the cameras, and then she does nothing for five straight days to explain her late start. She is, however, early enough to catch Ivan Roeghmills before he gets himself Bobby Jacked. She shares pleasantries with him and a guy named Jake before they decide to head off on their own path. Dante Cooper's watching from a distance but Mimi's respectful enough to not immediately call him out, preferring to have Marnie just note that she heard something.
Anyway, she goes to fill her water bottles at the lagoon, only to notice the corpse of Jodene in the water with a spear sticking out of her. I believe that she still refills her water bottles, which is kind of...I don't want to think about it. Horrified, but wanting an actual weapon, she forces herself to swallow her disgust and yank the spear out for her own ends. Her distaste is evident and natural. She might be an ordinary character, but ordinary in the context of V3 is miles above. That done, she leaves, but not before asking about Dorian Ibanescu. She doesn't explain why, but the two of them are in Escape together, so we'll know sooner or later.
Next thread, Dante Cooper springs an ambush, which means that the previous thread was actual foreshadowing. Surprising. Pleasantly so. He's desperate for supplies and so he's going to pilfer hers. Seems reasonable, and Marnie complies, likely because she knows what's in that water. As she shares what she has, she sweet talks him into forming an alliance, and it's interesting how it's presented. Both of them think they're playing the other while simultaneously working for their mutual interests.
Seeking shelter from the rain in the next thread, she runs into Kathy Holden and Becky Holt, friends of hers from school. Though the group distrusts Dante, they grudgingly share their thoughts on the game thus far, but unfortunately, they're interrupted by the siren call of Escape. Marnie will become part of the Escape group, meeting up with Neil when Rio confronts him about Danya's punishment. For her part, Marnie stands up for Neil, pointing out that it was Danya who murdered those girls, not Neil.
Yeah, just a good guy who made one huge mistake, but she trusted him not to do it again."And honestly, you're just scaring people for no reason. Neil isn't going to kill anyone.. he's a good guy who made a mistake."
This is the real clue about Marnie's character. She's got a slight cynical edge, but she's overall kind and willing to believe in people. Ultimately, she takes Neil up on his proposition and follows him to the thread where everyone gets their collars off, and she's fooled into believing Danya's announcement about the "dead" students who escaped, one among them being Dorian. Breaking down in despair, she flashes back to a time before the island, when Dorian was joking with her about how protective her parents were. As if on cue, he appears in the present, showing that the announcement of his death was extremely exaggerated. They embrace and share a tearful but happy moment, which is all too soon interrupted by the arrival of the terrorists.
Dorian and Marnie are some of the first students who make it to the rescue boat. Unwilling to leave without everyone else, she calls out anxiously for them to get down to the beach. As the shots ring out and she helps people onto the boat, she tries reassuring them that everything will be fine, that they're all going to make it, but she takes a bullet in the confusion and dies on the boat. Close to escape, and yet so far.
(Editor's note: I have been informed that while she did get shot, she didn't die from her wound. She's just waiting on an epilogue post as of the moment. My bad!)
It's really a shame that she doesn't make it have an epilogue, because I really liked Marnie's story arc. She has no ill-will for anyone, she's able to talk her way into alliances, she's understanding and patient, and overall she's just a very sweet girl. Even her last moments in the game were selfless and kind. I'd never heard of her before the read-a-thon, and now I wish that I had.
Another, please?