This wasn't real, right? This was some kind of a sick joke. The world's most fucked up hidden camera show, and Cam would get up in a second and be smiling and Enzo would have to stop themselves from strangling her, but would be crying tears of relief at the same time because she was still alive when they'd thought she was dead.
It couldn't be.
Vanessa said something, and it buzzed past Enzo like a static wash from a busted headset.
She spoke again, and this time, some made it through.
Vinny shook their head, shivering and shuddering. It had happened so fast, they hadn't even seen- did that even really matter? Vinny had been trying to focus on keeping Cameron alive, not, not whoever had done this to her.
They didn't want to think of it like that. Who had 'done' this. That made it real. Too real. Too real.
Their stomach was about to tear itself in half, and then inside out.
"I-I, I didn't..." their voice was hoarse, they swallowed, shook their head again. "I didn't see."
Shock Me
What?
What the fuck had Enzo just said?
"What the fuck do you mean, you didn't see?! How the fuck couldn't you have seen?!"
She was still screaming, but it was all boiling out on its own now. Whoever had done this to Cams, whoever had murdered her best friend, needed to get what was coming to them and they needed it right fucking now.
She wanted to slug Enzo, drop Cams to the floor with a lifeless thud and just jump the sack of shit who'd stood by and not done anything to stop it, who was just sitting there with their mouth open like a moron catching flies and telling her they didn't see'. She wanted to make them suffer first before she moved on to ripping whoever'd done this to Cams a third asshole, just take everything out on her right fucking now.
She gripped Cams harder, crushing her like a stress ball, as she stared fiery daggers at Enzo. Only the suffocating grief was stopping her from jumping Enzo right there and then.
"What were you doing, fucking jerking off whilst she was getting killed?! You some kind of fucking retard or something!?"
What the hell was she going to do? How was she even supposed to stand up again anymore, when she was weighed down with this? What was she supposed to do?!
What the fuck had Enzo just said?
"What the fuck do you mean, you didn't see?! How the fuck couldn't you have seen?!"
She was still screaming, but it was all boiling out on its own now. Whoever had done this to Cams, whoever had murdered her best friend, needed to get what was coming to them and they needed it right fucking now.
She wanted to slug Enzo, drop Cams to the floor with a lifeless thud and just jump the sack of shit who'd stood by and not done anything to stop it, who was just sitting there with their mouth open like a moron catching flies and telling her they didn't see'. She wanted to make them suffer first before she moved on to ripping whoever'd done this to Cams a third asshole, just take everything out on her right fucking now.
She gripped Cams harder, crushing her like a stress ball, as she stared fiery daggers at Enzo. Only the suffocating grief was stopping her from jumping Enzo right there and then.
"What were you doing, fucking jerking off whilst she was getting killed?! You some kind of fucking retard or something!?"
What the hell was she going to do? How was she even supposed to stand up again anymore, when she was weighed down with this? What was she supposed to do?!
"I wasn't-"
Vanessa was still screaming at them.
"I didn't-"
She wasn't letting them get a word in, no matter how much they wanted to protest. There had been a hundred and one reasons Enzo hadn't seen what had happened. They weren't expecting it. How could they expect it? They were talking to Cameron when it all happened.
They'd just woken up.
They were trying to think.
They were trying not to think.
"I just-"
Still yelling. Like every other time in their life - like Enzo wasn't crying too, like this wasn't affecting Enzo too. How did Vanessa think Enzo felt when they couldn't stop it from happening either?
"You-"
Vanessa glared at them, clinging to Cameron's bo- to Cameron- to Cameron's body, venom and hate and...
"Stop acting like it's about you!" Vinny screamed back, raw and scratching, grating in the back of their throat. "She wasn't just your friend! She doesn't belong to you!"
Vinny lashed out, shoving the closest shelf with both hands, sending a stack of boxes scattering across the floor.
"You think I just saw some psycho coming and thought 'yeah, looks legit'!?"
Vanessa was still screaming at them.
"I didn't-"
She wasn't letting them get a word in, no matter how much they wanted to protest. There had been a hundred and one reasons Enzo hadn't seen what had happened. They weren't expecting it. How could they expect it? They were talking to Cameron when it all happened.
They'd just woken up.
They were trying to think.
They were trying not to think.
"I just-"
Still yelling. Like every other time in their life - like Enzo wasn't crying too, like this wasn't affecting Enzo too. How did Vanessa think Enzo felt when they couldn't stop it from happening either?
"You-"
Vanessa glared at them, clinging to Cameron's bo- to Cameron- to Cameron's body, venom and hate and...
"Stop acting like it's about you!" Vinny screamed back, raw and scratching, grating in the back of their throat. "She wasn't just your friend! She doesn't belong to you!"
Vinny lashed out, shoving the closest shelf with both hands, sending a stack of boxes scattering across the floor.
"You think I just saw some psycho coming and thought 'yeah, looks legit'!?"
"Well you sure as fuck didn't think to get in the fucking way, did you?!"
If she'd been startled by the shelf's collapse, it hadn't taken the fight out of her. She got to her feet, still clinging to Cameron's heavy, limp body, and kicked one of the empty boxes that had scattered in front of her straight at Enzo.
"This is all your fucking fault, you braindead shit! If you'd just paid some fucking attention, or not been picking your fucking asshole, it wouldn't be- it wouldn't be like-" her voice was catching in her throat, as she looked down at her friend who had become so damn heavy. She tried to keep going, but she was choking on her tears.
"She's fucking dead, Vinny! She's fucking dead! What am I supposed to do? How could you let this happen?"
She wanted to vomit, to let go of Cams, to drop to her knees and cry into the floor. This wasn't real, it couldn't be real. She couldn't deal with this real.
This whole time she'd been in this shitstorm, she'd thought hey, at least if I find Cams there's that. At least I'll be with my BFF as terrorists make us kill each other'. She'd had a goal that would've at least made the situation just a bit more bearable, just a tiny shred of hope in the nightmare that she was trying her best to bear and get through, and figure out just something she could do about it.
Now, there was nothing. Now, there was no hope.
If she'd been startled by the shelf's collapse, it hadn't taken the fight out of her. She got to her feet, still clinging to Cameron's heavy, limp body, and kicked one of the empty boxes that had scattered in front of her straight at Enzo.
"This is all your fucking fault, you braindead shit! If you'd just paid some fucking attention, or not been picking your fucking asshole, it wouldn't be- it wouldn't be like-" her voice was catching in her throat, as she looked down at her friend who had become so damn heavy. She tried to keep going, but she was choking on her tears.
"She's fucking dead, Vinny! She's fucking dead! What am I supposed to do? How could you let this happen?"
She wanted to vomit, to let go of Cams, to drop to her knees and cry into the floor. This wasn't real, it couldn't be real. She couldn't deal with this real.
This whole time she'd been in this shitstorm, she'd thought hey, at least if I find Cams there's that. At least I'll be with my BFF as terrorists make us kill each other'. She'd had a goal that would've at least made the situation just a bit more bearable, just a tiny shred of hope in the nightmare that she was trying her best to bear and get through, and figure out just something she could do about it.
Now, there was nothing. Now, there was no hope.
Vanessa responded by cursing them out again and then kicking a box. It went airborne, barely clipped Enzo as they dropped their arm and it bounced off their shoulder. Didn't hurt, either; no weight to it without anything inside. Really, the whole thing was more frustration than violence, just the same as Vinny, taking out just some small fraction of emotion on something else.
But as much as that, as much as Enzo knew that, they didn't care any more. The switch was flipped. Vanessa had done nothing but belittle and blame them when Cameron was laying there, dead on the floor. She was dead, and no amount of screaming and swearing and picking her up and cradling her was going to make the slightest fucking bit of difference.
Vinny stooped, picked up their bag from its spot on the floor, and swung one strap over their shoulder.
"I'm sure you'll figure something out," they said. Low, tight with anger. "Bye."
They headed for the doors and didn't look back.
((Enzo continued Seediq Bale))
But as much as that, as much as Enzo knew that, they didn't care any more. The switch was flipped. Vanessa had done nothing but belittle and blame them when Cameron was laying there, dead on the floor. She was dead, and no amount of screaming and swearing and picking her up and cradling her was going to make the slightest fucking bit of difference.
Vinny stooped, picked up their bag from its spot on the floor, and swung one strap over their shoulder.
"I'm sure you'll figure something out," they said. Low, tight with anger. "Bye."
They headed for the doors and didn't look back.
((Enzo continued Seediq Bale))
Vanessa continued to stare fury at Vinny as they walked out the room with in their tranquil anger. She was grinding her teeth together, waiting for her insults to fly forth at Vinny, who'd just let Cams get murdered, as the hot tears ran down her face. Yet they didn't come, and Vinny left.
Suddenly, she realised, that yelling at Vinny hadn't changed a goddamn thing. "Wait." She whispered, but they had already gone, and Vanessa was alone.
Why the fuck had she done that? She was standing there with her dead best friend in her arms, and all she'd done was yell at Cam's other friend, and nothing good had come of it. All she'd done was force herself to deal with this alone, and something that hurt so bad already just felt even worse. God, she was the fucking retard after all.
She shut her eyes tight, shutting it all out, but still feeling Cam's limp weight in her arms. She was so heavy; Vanessa wanted to put her down because her arms were starting to strain, but how could she? If she just put her down on the floor, let her go, she'd fall limp and that'd just be as much proof as anything that she really was fucking dead.
Except that she really was, and Vanessa couldn't stand there looking at the door that Vinny had walked out of forever, no matter how much she wanted to not face what came next. Finally, reluctantly, she put Cams down, with all the gentle care she could muster. Of course, Cams still didn't move.
She turned around, pressed her head against the wall, took her eyes off the body. She was sobbing, trying to get a hold of herself, failing. Her best friend was dead; this terrorist BS that had just seemed like a distant threat had come crashing down right in front of her, and she hadn't even had a chance to do anything. She felt, more than anything, powerless and lost.
Finally, she left the storage closet. She'd done everything she could've for Cams, everything she had the strength to do, but it still felt like fuck all. She'd left her lying on the floor, hands over that awful hole in her stomach, as peaceful looking as anyone who'd been brutally murdered by their classmate could've. It felt pointless, hollow, and stupid, but she knew she had to do something.
She looked down at her wrist, Cameron's Mastodon bandana now tied around her own arm. Maybe she should've left it with her friend, she thought, but she knew why she'd taken it. She had to have something, anything, just that little piece of her left. Even if she still had all the memories, something physical and real just helped, just a little bit.
She stared out into the hallway, looking so damn different from how it had looked when she'd come from the other end. She looked back down at her wrist.
It wasn't enough.
((Vanessa Stone continued in Dark Necessities))
Suddenly, she realised, that yelling at Vinny hadn't changed a goddamn thing. "Wait." She whispered, but they had already gone, and Vanessa was alone.
Why the fuck had she done that? She was standing there with her dead best friend in her arms, and all she'd done was yell at Cam's other friend, and nothing good had come of it. All she'd done was force herself to deal with this alone, and something that hurt so bad already just felt even worse. God, she was the fucking retard after all.
She shut her eyes tight, shutting it all out, but still feeling Cam's limp weight in her arms. She was so heavy; Vanessa wanted to put her down because her arms were starting to strain, but how could she? If she just put her down on the floor, let her go, she'd fall limp and that'd just be as much proof as anything that she really was fucking dead.
Except that she really was, and Vanessa couldn't stand there looking at the door that Vinny had walked out of forever, no matter how much she wanted to not face what came next. Finally, reluctantly, she put Cams down, with all the gentle care she could muster. Of course, Cams still didn't move.
She turned around, pressed her head against the wall, took her eyes off the body. She was sobbing, trying to get a hold of herself, failing. Her best friend was dead; this terrorist BS that had just seemed like a distant threat had come crashing down right in front of her, and she hadn't even had a chance to do anything. She felt, more than anything, powerless and lost.
Finally, she left the storage closet. She'd done everything she could've for Cams, everything she had the strength to do, but it still felt like fuck all. She'd left her lying on the floor, hands over that awful hole in her stomach, as peaceful looking as anyone who'd been brutally murdered by their classmate could've. It felt pointless, hollow, and stupid, but she knew she had to do something.
She looked down at her wrist, Cameron's Mastodon bandana now tied around her own arm. Maybe she should've left it with her friend, she thought, but she knew why she'd taken it. She had to have something, anything, just that little piece of her left. Even if she still had all the memories, something physical and real just helped, just a little bit.
She stared out into the hallway, looking so damn different from how it had looked when she'd come from the other end. She looked back down at her wrist.
It wasn't enough.
((Vanessa Stone continued in Dark Necessities))