What's that? The elevator seems suspiciously spacious, sluggish, and filled with ceiling-mounted disintegration beams? Are you questioning the wisdom of Friend Computer, citizen? Are you committing treason?
Well, even if you personally aren't, someone in this elevator is, and it's your job to purge them before you arrive at your briefing. Failure to purge treason appropriately constitutes treason! Treason is punishable by summary execution! Our intelligence suggests the presence of at least two traitors, given that Troubleshooter teams usually operate with six members. In fact, we have a good idea that—
Oh dear. The lights went out for a moment there. It's a good thing nobody took the opportunity to shoot anyone in the back in the dark. That would be terrible. Such things, of course, never actually happen in our little utopia. That's a good thing, because the power seems a little bit spotty just now. In fact, we'll have to alternate power allocation between moving the elevator and keeping the lights on.
Why not just cut the lights until the elevator reaches its destination? Are you questioning the wisdom of Friend Computer? Are you committing treason?
Didn't think so.
Now, since we'll be here a while, we might as well get acquainted:
ALIVE (Pay no attention to this mildly-ominous heading, friend citizen!)
1. dmboogie
2. Cactus
3. Jimmydalad
4. Kermit
5. Irina Ivanov
6. Sh4dE
7. VysePresident
8. Fenris
Do not discuss the game outside this elevator unless you have explicitly been told you may do so. In such cases, use only those means of communication explicitly allowed.
To purge traitors, we fall back upon that oldest and most venerable tradition: democracy. The ceiling-mounted lasers will vaporize whoever is voted treasonous by a majority each phase. This light-cycle, that requires five votes. Failure to reach a majority will result in no vaporization, and also demerits on your final mission report.
To vote, please cast your votes in RED.
To unvote (should you need to, though mistakes are treason) please use GREEN. Please remember that use of colors higher placed in the spectrum than your clearance constitutes treason. Nobody in this elevator has appropriate clearance for use of the color green.
From time to time, Friend Computer may turn its penetrating and all-knowing gaze upon one or more members of the game, due to actions positive or negative. When this occurs, you will be notified. Effects of Friend Computer's gaze are classified above your clearance level.
Feel free to ask any questions here. Please remember that unauthorized levity, redundant queries, disrespect, and failure to floss constitute treason.
The next scheduled power outage will occur in approximately five days' time.
See you on the other side!
Just kidding. See you always.
