Vanessa realised, as she looked at their faces, just how Trav and Cass were seeing her right now. A mixture of disdain and shame was not something she was trying to cause at all, and seeing those emotions written all over her them made her feel just a little bit embarrassed for herself.
She let out a long sigh, letting her arms slump to her sides as her posture relaxed. Yeah, the laugh and the scream had helped, she supposed (as much as anything could help right now), but she didn't want to be doing it at other people's expense. Jae and herself had just shown up after nowhere and made a scene, it occurred to her, and that wasn't something to be proud of.
"Sorry." She muttered, shifting on the spot as the cigarette dangled on her fingers. She looked out into the distance to avoid eye contact, but Jae wouldn't let her stay distracted for long as he called out for them to leave for a second time.
"Yeah, sure." She muttered again, tossing her tobacco down after Jae's. She turned heel and was halfway up the roof, before she paused to turn back again.
"Hey guys, good luck out there. Don't get yourselves killed."
With a casual salute and a half-hearted smile, she turned and left. Only later would she slap herself in the head when she realised that she had forgotten to ask whether either of them had actually seen Cams.
((Vanessa Stone and Min-Jae Parker continued in We're Here Because We're Here))
Five Finger Death Punch
"Smile. The world's not ending just yet."
Cass quietly watched the storm die down around them, knowing they'd already done too much. Crossed their arms, gripped them too tightly in an effort to stop their trembling. Mostly, it just hurt. That didn't stop them. They had seen the way that Trav looked at them before he had argued against Vanessa, knew the pity he had to be feeling for them, knew they didn't deserve any of it.
Their feelings weren't any more deep or valid or intense than what anyone else's on the rooftop; or anyone else's in the island-wide-morgue, period. Cass had just flinched first, hadn't been strong enough to keep everything safely bottled up where it wouldn't affect anyone else, wouldn't make them worry. Wouldn't interrupt Vanessa perfectly justifiable ranting, wouldn't force her to apologize when she had done nothing wrong. It was too late to take any of it back now, though, Jae and Vanessa were already leaving; driven from a safe haven back into a universe of unfriendly eyes and sudden ends. Whatever happened to them next, it'd be Cass's fault, all because they couldn't have just bit their tongue for one goddamn minute.
Vanessa's farewell was too gracious, too forgiving. Cass wished they could have responded, but their veins were ice and their hands were still shaking even now that they were leaving marks on their arms and they did not trust themself in the slightest to speak and be redeemed, to taint the air with their ill-thought words that would betray a new quiver in their pathetic voice, on the verge of tears for no discernible or sane or rational reason, not when everyone else had it together, not when everyone else was strong, always stronger than them, how could it ever be different, why would it, now, why would the introduction of death to their environment change or free Cass in any way or give them any strength at all beyond the manic flailing of a brain firing off neurons during its last moments?
Years of familiar self-hatred passed through Cass's mind in minutes. They inhaled. Exhaled. Unclenched their hands, winced a bit at the pain. It was quiet, now, at least. They felt a bit silly. Everything they thought had been a familiar truth. No need for dramatics, no need to stress out over what was already known.
Cass glanced in Trav's direction, still unwilling to look at his eyes. Was scared to see themself reflected in them. "...So. What now?"
Their feelings weren't any more deep or valid or intense than what anyone else's on the rooftop; or anyone else's in the island-wide-morgue, period. Cass had just flinched first, hadn't been strong enough to keep everything safely bottled up where it wouldn't affect anyone else, wouldn't make them worry. Wouldn't interrupt Vanessa perfectly justifiable ranting, wouldn't force her to apologize when she had done nothing wrong. It was too late to take any of it back now, though, Jae and Vanessa were already leaving; driven from a safe haven back into a universe of unfriendly eyes and sudden ends. Whatever happened to them next, it'd be Cass's fault, all because they couldn't have just bit their tongue for one goddamn minute.
Vanessa's farewell was too gracious, too forgiving. Cass wished they could have responded, but their veins were ice and their hands were still shaking even now that they were leaving marks on their arms and they did not trust themself in the slightest to speak and be redeemed, to taint the air with their ill-thought words that would betray a new quiver in their pathetic voice, on the verge of tears for no discernible or sane or rational reason, not when everyone else had it together, not when everyone else was strong, always stronger than them, how could it ever be different, why would it, now, why would the introduction of death to their environment change or free Cass in any way or give them any strength at all beyond the manic flailing of a brain firing off neurons during its last moments?
Years of familiar self-hatred passed through Cass's mind in minutes. They inhaled. Exhaled. Unclenched their hands, winced a bit at the pain. It was quiet, now, at least. They felt a bit silly. Everything they thought had been a familiar truth. No need for dramatics, no need to stress out over what was already known.
Cass glanced in Trav's direction, still unwilling to look at his eyes. Was scared to see themself reflected in them. "...So. What now?"
And then they were gone.
Trav wasn't sure what he was supposed to feel about Jae and Vanessa's exit but he supposed relief was acceptable. He hadn't a problem with them staying but he had a problem with them seemingly believing he hadn't realised what was going on. He knew full well his situation but there was more to life than stress and panic. He refused to believe any other way. Maybe refusal was too strong a word but Trav wasn't sure. Life was strange now.
Cass had asked him a question and Trav had no honest idea how to answer it. They couldn't go back to sitting on the roof and pretending like nothing had happened. Their safe haven had been utterly destroyed by the intrusion.
The best response Trav could offer was a shrug.
"I guess we wait here for a bit and then move somewhere else."
The sun was up and the roof had lost it's magic.
Trav wasn't sure what he was supposed to feel about Jae and Vanessa's exit but he supposed relief was acceptable. He hadn't a problem with them staying but he had a problem with them seemingly believing he hadn't realised what was going on. He knew full well his situation but there was more to life than stress and panic. He refused to believe any other way. Maybe refusal was too strong a word but Trav wasn't sure. Life was strange now.
Cass had asked him a question and Trav had no honest idea how to answer it. They couldn't go back to sitting on the roof and pretending like nothing had happened. Their safe haven had been utterly destroyed by the intrusion.
The best response Trav could offer was a shrug.
"I guess we wait here for a bit and then move somewhere else."
The sun was up and the roof had lost it's magic.
We.
Worlds of meaning and implication, there. Cass was flattered, really, but Trav was being far too kind, extending such an invitation to a complete stranger. That pure trust was beautiful, but Cass knew it'd only be wasted on them. The peaceful moments they had shared were priceless, but it was better they quickly turned into a good memory and stayed that way, before Cass inevitably messed up and tainted them, shattered whatever illusion it was that was causing Trav to think so fondly of them.
Art was Cass's single redeeming factor, but it was worthless here, even if they could find a pen and paper. All they could do without it was, well, exist. Take up space, both physically and in people's consciousnesses. It was clear that Trav was a good person, so why should Cass force him to care about them? To waste his thoughts and time on a nobody, instead of any of the people he actually knew and loved?
Wonderful as it would be, people weren't infinite founts of empathy and devotion. Realistically, you could only really care about a small, finite amount of people; so what made Cass deserving at all of that precious place in a person's heart? Even Cass's dearest friends, people who did already care, like Clarice and Bernadette, were better off without them. Any time they spent concerned for Cass would be time spent not considering their own perilous states, cracked plates in their armor that anyone with ill intent could exploit; and Cass knew their friends. They would worry.
More than anything else, Cass didn't want to be anyone's weakness.
"I... think I need to rest a little longer. You should just go on without me," Cass said, making their excuses. "I'm sure you've got other people you want to be finding."
Worlds of meaning and implication, there. Cass was flattered, really, but Trav was being far too kind, extending such an invitation to a complete stranger. That pure trust was beautiful, but Cass knew it'd only be wasted on them. The peaceful moments they had shared were priceless, but it was better they quickly turned into a good memory and stayed that way, before Cass inevitably messed up and tainted them, shattered whatever illusion it was that was causing Trav to think so fondly of them.
Art was Cass's single redeeming factor, but it was worthless here, even if they could find a pen and paper. All they could do without it was, well, exist. Take up space, both physically and in people's consciousnesses. It was clear that Trav was a good person, so why should Cass force him to care about them? To waste his thoughts and time on a nobody, instead of any of the people he actually knew and loved?
Wonderful as it would be, people weren't infinite founts of empathy and devotion. Realistically, you could only really care about a small, finite amount of people; so what made Cass deserving at all of that precious place in a person's heart? Even Cass's dearest friends, people who did already care, like Clarice and Bernadette, were better off without them. Any time they spent concerned for Cass would be time spent not considering their own perilous states, cracked plates in their armor that anyone with ill intent could exploit; and Cass knew their friends. They would worry.
More than anything else, Cass didn't want to be anyone's weakness.
"I... think I need to rest a little longer. You should just go on without me," Cass said, making their excuses. "I'm sure you've got other people you want to be finding."
Trav stopped, raised an eyebrow and then shook his head.
"No, no way. I'm not just going to leave you."
Trav, to be perfectly truthful didn't quite understand why Cass was suddenly so down. He had an idea and all but he wasn't sure he was right. He also had never really been in that frame of mind. It made him realise how lucky he was in a way. Trav had found his calling in life early and was lucky enough to get support from his parents to pursue it. Hell they paid for a lot of it even. In short, his life had been good, very good in fact. If things had kept going the way they were Trav was sure his life would have had some tough patches sure, everyone's did, but it would have been more or less the same overall.
Cass, Trav reckoned hadn't had the same thing. He didn't know why and he wasn't going to ask.
She needed someone to stay with her though.
He was sure of that.
So he stepped back, perched himself on one of the slopes of the roof and rested his arms over his legs.
Deep down there was another reason of course there was. He didn't want to be alone. Plus even know he had only known Cass as a person for all of a sunrise he liked her.
The second darker reason. He was scared for his friends, for Noodle, mainly. He knew he wanted to go and find her. But he didn't want to go looking only to end up...he didn't have the word and didn't have the desire to find it.
So for those reasons Trav stayed sitting on the roof.
"I do have other people. But I found you first, so I can wait."
"No, no way. I'm not just going to leave you."
Trav, to be perfectly truthful didn't quite understand why Cass was suddenly so down. He had an idea and all but he wasn't sure he was right. He also had never really been in that frame of mind. It made him realise how lucky he was in a way. Trav had found his calling in life early and was lucky enough to get support from his parents to pursue it. Hell they paid for a lot of it even. In short, his life had been good, very good in fact. If things had kept going the way they were Trav was sure his life would have had some tough patches sure, everyone's did, but it would have been more or less the same overall.
Cass, Trav reckoned hadn't had the same thing. He didn't know why and he wasn't going to ask.
She needed someone to stay with her though.
He was sure of that.
So he stepped back, perched himself on one of the slopes of the roof and rested his arms over his legs.
Deep down there was another reason of course there was. He didn't want to be alone. Plus even know he had only known Cass as a person for all of a sunrise he liked her.
The second darker reason. He was scared for his friends, for Noodle, mainly. He knew he wanted to go and find her. But he didn't want to go looking only to end up...he didn't have the word and didn't have the desire to find it.
So for those reasons Trav stayed sitting on the roof.
"I do have other people. But I found you first, so I can wait."
Honestly? Cass hadn't expected Trav to resist. They'd vaguely thought that he would have come to his senses once Cass had rejected his initial offer. That he would have taken another good look at the situation, remembered what he had to lose, realized that there was really no worthwhile reason for him to stick around. Cass had been thoroughly convinced that was what should have happened, but they now realized that they'd been doing Trav an extreme disservice.
Just judging from the short time they'd known each other? Of fucking course Trav wouldn't just cut and run like that. Even if they still didn't fully accept it, who was Cass to try and forcibly convince Trav that he was wrong to care about them? If they had really, truly wanted to live out the rest of their life alone, without causing anyone else trouble; Cass would have turned around as soon as they had seen Trav on the roof for the first time.
Maybe, just maybe, it really was okay for Cass to feel happy, just for a while. It wasn't an easy concept, hell, even now they still wanted to apologize for forcing things to come to this, for existing; but they shushed those doubtful inner voices, for now. Cass had lived with them long enough that they knew everything they had to say, could probably sing and dance along with the Greek chorus from memory if they tried hard enough.
"I, uh..." Cass started, trying to verbalize just a fraction of what they were thinking. Gratitude, shame, maybe even a little serenity that'd gotten lost and found its way to Cass's brain. They settled for a simple "Thank you," which was a pitiful speck of what they really, truly meant; but was at the same time the whole of it at once, really.
Cass hadn't been entirely lying when they said they didn't want to leave the roof. It had lost most of its fairy-tale magic, even now that Jae and Vanessa were gone, but it was still the only shred of familiarity they had to cling to. Cass hadn't even looked at their map yet, so the rest of the island remained a shadowy haze in their imagination, besides the bits of it they could see from their perch on high. They would have preferred a berth in the bell tower; higher and even more artistic, but that would require too much travelling through unknown territory for Cass's tastes.
So instead, they remained on the roof, passing the time with idle chatter. Trav didn't seem to mind. Eventually, it started getting dark enough to get rid of any question of leaving, and they decided to sleep in shifts. Not that there was much either of them, even Trav, could really do against someone with a weapon and a mind to use it, but at least it meant they wouldn't die in their sleep; a fate that terrified Cass more than anything else.
They had a lot of time to think during their first watch, idly laying on their back and staring out at the stars, hearing Trav's soft breaths close by. Time to think about a lot of topics they'd been avoiding, before. The shock had lost its grasp on them, over the course of the entire day, but it had been replaced with a quiet, numb mortal dread. Cass didn't deserve to live more than anyone else did, but they didn't deserve to die either, goddammit.
Cass had never been much for religion, but they'd never been able to actively reject it, either. They didn't believe in anything specific, but they did believe in a vague something, some mysterious force that'd preserve their consciousnesses and souls after death, just because the alternative was too terrifying to even consider. They guessed they'd be finding out the truth behind it all a lot sooner than they'd hoped.
They thought of their family and friends back home, too. There it was again, their instinctual self-loathing clashing with what they knew to be true. Cass didn't often feel like they mattered, but they knew how much they meant to their parents. They didn't often feel like anyone cared, but they knew that Marco and Christine would miss them. How would they react to their death? How would they recover? Cass couldn't find the heart to speculate, but they knew they owed it to them to say something, at least.
It wasn't hard to find a camera, much to Cass's begrudging gratitude. "Uh. Hey?" They started off tentatively and quietly, trying not to speak loud enough to wake Trav. "You're... probably watching this, aren't you Marco? Maybe you dragged Chris into it too, I dunno." Marco could never leave well enough alone, and Cass had had to endure lots of well-meaning prodding whenever he felt like they were acting "weird", or otherwise down. Even though they usually brushed him off, tried to awkwardly change the subject, Cass really did appreciate it, especially now.
"First off, I know Mom and Dad would never watch this. I mean, judging by how many times I've had to help them out with their facebooks and shit, they probably wouldn't be able to find a video even if they tried? Well, like... god, I know this is a lot to ask, sorry, but you guys have always told me that I need to try and be a bit more selfish, yeah? So, could you please... pass this on to them? Even just the important bits?" Cass said, sitting cross-legged directly in front of the camera. They kept their eyes closed as much as they could, tried to pretend that their friends were right there in front of them. Tried to tune out the thousands of strangers listening to their most intimate thoughts.
"All I wanna say is... thank you. Right here, on camera, so it never goes away, okay? I'm gonna be dea- no, fuck, not going there, sorry. Okay. Okay. Just, I need you guys to know, and know forever, so there's never any doubt in your minds, okay? I love you, so much, and the proof's gonna live on, right here, forever. I'm sure as hell not gonna be changing my mind. So... thank you. For everything. For caring. For being my friends for all these years. Life would have sucked a whole lot more if I didn't have you guys, just saying. Mom, Dad, god, where do I even begin? I mean, those words kinda capture it all, don't they? At least ideally? "Mom." "Dad." You were always there for me. You always tried to understand, at least. Nothing I say can ever live up to what you deserve, but... thank you."
"I've only got one real request for you, but it's important, alright? Please. Whatever else happens, just... don't you fucking dare let anybody call me Cassandra, alright?" Cass said, spitting the name out like poison, sudden fire in their eyes. "I'm not a girl. Make sure they get it right." They sat there and fumed for a moment, letting those words echo out into the night.
From there, they spent the next few hours engaged in aimless chatter, recounting fond memories they'd shared with everyone over the years, small things they'd always wanted to say but had never found the courage to, tiny things like a cool dog they had seen last week. They didn't want to let go.
Eventually, though, Cass struggled to keep their head up and their eyes open. They knew that if they pushed it any longer, they ran a very real risk of putting Trav in danger, so soon after he'd decided that they were worth something. They couldn't let that happen. They turned to the camera one last time, sad smile on their face. "It's about time for me to sleep. This... this is goodbye, alright? Nothing good is gonna happen from here on out, and I don't want any of you to get hurt by it. So... I love you. Good night." They repeated that phrase several times before finally tearing themselves away to wake Trav up for his watch.
They hoped their sleep would be dreamless and deep.
Just judging from the short time they'd known each other? Of fucking course Trav wouldn't just cut and run like that. Even if they still didn't fully accept it, who was Cass to try and forcibly convince Trav that he was wrong to care about them? If they had really, truly wanted to live out the rest of their life alone, without causing anyone else trouble; Cass would have turned around as soon as they had seen Trav on the roof for the first time.
Maybe, just maybe, it really was okay for Cass to feel happy, just for a while. It wasn't an easy concept, hell, even now they still wanted to apologize for forcing things to come to this, for existing; but they shushed those doubtful inner voices, for now. Cass had lived with them long enough that they knew everything they had to say, could probably sing and dance along with the Greek chorus from memory if they tried hard enough.
"I, uh..." Cass started, trying to verbalize just a fraction of what they were thinking. Gratitude, shame, maybe even a little serenity that'd gotten lost and found its way to Cass's brain. They settled for a simple "Thank you," which was a pitiful speck of what they really, truly meant; but was at the same time the whole of it at once, really.
Cass hadn't been entirely lying when they said they didn't want to leave the roof. It had lost most of its fairy-tale magic, even now that Jae and Vanessa were gone, but it was still the only shred of familiarity they had to cling to. Cass hadn't even looked at their map yet, so the rest of the island remained a shadowy haze in their imagination, besides the bits of it they could see from their perch on high. They would have preferred a berth in the bell tower; higher and even more artistic, but that would require too much travelling through unknown territory for Cass's tastes.
So instead, they remained on the roof, passing the time with idle chatter. Trav didn't seem to mind. Eventually, it started getting dark enough to get rid of any question of leaving, and they decided to sleep in shifts. Not that there was much either of them, even Trav, could really do against someone with a weapon and a mind to use it, but at least it meant they wouldn't die in their sleep; a fate that terrified Cass more than anything else.
They had a lot of time to think during their first watch, idly laying on their back and staring out at the stars, hearing Trav's soft breaths close by. Time to think about a lot of topics they'd been avoiding, before. The shock had lost its grasp on them, over the course of the entire day, but it had been replaced with a quiet, numb mortal dread. Cass didn't deserve to live more than anyone else did, but they didn't deserve to die either, goddammit.
Cass had never been much for religion, but they'd never been able to actively reject it, either. They didn't believe in anything specific, but they did believe in a vague something, some mysterious force that'd preserve their consciousnesses and souls after death, just because the alternative was too terrifying to even consider. They guessed they'd be finding out the truth behind it all a lot sooner than they'd hoped.
They thought of their family and friends back home, too. There it was again, their instinctual self-loathing clashing with what they knew to be true. Cass didn't often feel like they mattered, but they knew how much they meant to their parents. They didn't often feel like anyone cared, but they knew that Marco and Christine would miss them. How would they react to their death? How would they recover? Cass couldn't find the heart to speculate, but they knew they owed it to them to say something, at least.
It wasn't hard to find a camera, much to Cass's begrudging gratitude. "Uh. Hey?" They started off tentatively and quietly, trying not to speak loud enough to wake Trav. "You're... probably watching this, aren't you Marco? Maybe you dragged Chris into it too, I dunno." Marco could never leave well enough alone, and Cass had had to endure lots of well-meaning prodding whenever he felt like they were acting "weird", or otherwise down. Even though they usually brushed him off, tried to awkwardly change the subject, Cass really did appreciate it, especially now.
"First off, I know Mom and Dad would never watch this. I mean, judging by how many times I've had to help them out with their facebooks and shit, they probably wouldn't be able to find a video even if they tried? Well, like... god, I know this is a lot to ask, sorry, but you guys have always told me that I need to try and be a bit more selfish, yeah? So, could you please... pass this on to them? Even just the important bits?" Cass said, sitting cross-legged directly in front of the camera. They kept their eyes closed as much as they could, tried to pretend that their friends were right there in front of them. Tried to tune out the thousands of strangers listening to their most intimate thoughts.
"All I wanna say is... thank you. Right here, on camera, so it never goes away, okay? I'm gonna be dea- no, fuck, not going there, sorry. Okay. Okay. Just, I need you guys to know, and know forever, so there's never any doubt in your minds, okay? I love you, so much, and the proof's gonna live on, right here, forever. I'm sure as hell not gonna be changing my mind. So... thank you. For everything. For caring. For being my friends for all these years. Life would have sucked a whole lot more if I didn't have you guys, just saying. Mom, Dad, god, where do I even begin? I mean, those words kinda capture it all, don't they? At least ideally? "Mom." "Dad." You were always there for me. You always tried to understand, at least. Nothing I say can ever live up to what you deserve, but... thank you."
"I've only got one real request for you, but it's important, alright? Please. Whatever else happens, just... don't you fucking dare let anybody call me Cassandra, alright?" Cass said, spitting the name out like poison, sudden fire in their eyes. "I'm not a girl. Make sure they get it right." They sat there and fumed for a moment, letting those words echo out into the night.
From there, they spent the next few hours engaged in aimless chatter, recounting fond memories they'd shared with everyone over the years, small things they'd always wanted to say but had never found the courage to, tiny things like a cool dog they had seen last week. They didn't want to let go.
Eventually, though, Cass struggled to keep their head up and their eyes open. They knew that if they pushed it any longer, they ran a very real risk of putting Trav in danger, so soon after he'd decided that they were worth something. They couldn't let that happen. They turned to the camera one last time, sad smile on their face. "It's about time for me to sleep. This... this is goodbye, alright? Nothing good is gonna happen from here on out, and I don't want any of you to get hurt by it. So... I love you. Good night." They repeated that phrase several times before finally tearing themselves away to wake Trav up for his watch.
They hoped their sleep would be dreamless and deep.
He dreamt of storms. That was ominous.
Waking up slowly Trav could hear Cass whispering, he didn't know if she addressing someone else on the roof but that seemed unlikely. Trav doubted that Cass would actually try to pull anything, they had a layer of trust that had built up over their first day spent on the roof. Cass woke him and they briefly spoke before switching roles. Cass sleeping and Trav watching. Not that there was much for him to watch, it was basically pitch black.
Trav instead distracted himself by exploring the roof and exercising. He found the camera fairly quickly and would occasionally glance over at it. He dimly realized that it was perfectly possible his parents had spent all night watching him sleep through so hazy night vision camera filter. It was a strange thought and not one he wanted to dwell on. He instead gave the camera a small distracted wave. He wasn't even looking at it but he wanted his parents if they were watching to at least know he thought of them.
Eventually, as the sun rose over the island for the second time, Trav quietly moved over to Cass and gently nudged her awake.
"Good news, we made it to day two."
No sooner had the words left his mouth did a static noise echo across the island as speakers. They were getting a status update.
Two lists of names, the dead and their killers. Trav tried to listen but a lot of it blurred together. It was too surreal that he was being told a list of people he knew that were dead and who had done it. Luckily the one name he truly cared about, besides Cass, didn't get read out. Knowing Noodle was alright...or as alright as she could be was good news. He looked over at Cass, trying to gauge her reaction. In the meantime he helped himself to some breakfast.
"The better news, is that we don't have to move." He said as he started to munch on a slice of bread.
Waking up slowly Trav could hear Cass whispering, he didn't know if she addressing someone else on the roof but that seemed unlikely. Trav doubted that Cass would actually try to pull anything, they had a layer of trust that had built up over their first day spent on the roof. Cass woke him and they briefly spoke before switching roles. Cass sleeping and Trav watching. Not that there was much for him to watch, it was basically pitch black.
Trav instead distracted himself by exploring the roof and exercising. He found the camera fairly quickly and would occasionally glance over at it. He dimly realized that it was perfectly possible his parents had spent all night watching him sleep through so hazy night vision camera filter. It was a strange thought and not one he wanted to dwell on. He instead gave the camera a small distracted wave. He wasn't even looking at it but he wanted his parents if they were watching to at least know he thought of them.
Eventually, as the sun rose over the island for the second time, Trav quietly moved over to Cass and gently nudged her awake.
"Good news, we made it to day two."
No sooner had the words left his mouth did a static noise echo across the island as speakers. They were getting a status update.
Two lists of names, the dead and their killers. Trav tried to listen but a lot of it blurred together. It was too surreal that he was being told a list of people he knew that were dead and who had done it. Luckily the one name he truly cared about, besides Cass, didn't get read out. Knowing Noodle was alright...or as alright as she could be was good news. He looked over at Cass, trying to gauge her reaction. In the meantime he helped himself to some breakfast.
"The better news, is that we don't have to move." He said as he started to munch on a slice of bread.
When the harsh light of morning accompanied by a gentle shove came to dissolve Cass's nightly dreamscape, they rarely remembered their dreams; and the new day brought no exception. It irritated them, honestly. What better place to draw inspiration from than a world with no rules, no limitations, a blank canvas they could effortlessly shape however they wanted? They'd looked up techniques on how to lucid dream, had tried their damnedest to follow them. Nothing ever worked. At best, they'd be left with faint, scattered impressions; like what you'd get if you drew a landscape in pencil and then erased it, staring at the ghosts of lines to try and piece them back together again into one coherent whole but it just stays barely out of your grasp, and fades and fades out of your memory until you've never even known what you lost; except for maybe stopping in the middle of the day to wonder why the hell dream-you had been so convinced that being on fire was normal, then you shrugged and go on with your real life.
None of that mattered, did it?
Cass only managed a halfhearted "Morn" at Trav before the announcement came on. They numbly listened to Tracen speak; weren't sure whether to be offended at his careless jab at them, or grateful that they'd even merited noticing. 'Unspecified gender.' What an absolute asshole, even on top of being a murderous bastard. They briefly wondered how Vinny was doing, with their ever-admirable confidence in themself, being themself, before the announcement continued.
Jae and Vanessa had been right. Nancy, Alvaro - both killers. That revelation paled to what came next, though. Cass's fears for their friends hadn't been unfounded. They were still alive, thank god, but Clarice's boyfriend had killed one of her close friends before being killed himself. They couldn't imagine what she was going through. How hard must it have been to lose someone you loved twice? Once when they became someone, something else, a comforting presence turned to mortal dread in the blink of an eye and a failing heartbeat, and then again when they themselves become a victim, when you still haven't let go entirely? All Cass could only hope was that Clarice hadn't been there to witness it all, to have those dying moments imprinted on the back of her eyelids and robbing her of any peace she could have had. Better to leave it an abstract grief.
Trav said nothing. Cass followed suit and tried not to let their distress show.
"Not yet, at least," Cass said in reply to Trav's oddly blithe remark. The food in his hand reminded Cass of their own empty stomach, and they fished their own bread out. The food and water would likely only last them another day, two at the most. What was left to them, then? Die of thirst alongside the ocean? Become vultures, picking through the remains of their dead classmates? In the end, it was a problem for the future, and Cass tried to turn their mind towards more pressing matters.
"But I'm, uh, probably as fine as I'm going to be with heading out whenever you're ready. You did say you other people to find, yeah? Not gonna have much luck if we just stay up here." They still weren't ready, not really; but if Trav (bless his heart) was going to remain with Cass, they couldn't weigh him down and prevent him from finding the people who actually mattered to him.
None of that mattered, did it?
Cass only managed a halfhearted "Morn" at Trav before the announcement came on. They numbly listened to Tracen speak; weren't sure whether to be offended at his careless jab at them, or grateful that they'd even merited noticing. 'Unspecified gender.' What an absolute asshole, even on top of being a murderous bastard. They briefly wondered how Vinny was doing, with their ever-admirable confidence in themself, being themself, before the announcement continued.
Jae and Vanessa had been right. Nancy, Alvaro - both killers. That revelation paled to what came next, though. Cass's fears for their friends hadn't been unfounded. They were still alive, thank god, but Clarice's boyfriend had killed one of her close friends before being killed himself. They couldn't imagine what she was going through. How hard must it have been to lose someone you loved twice? Once when they became someone, something else, a comforting presence turned to mortal dread in the blink of an eye and a failing heartbeat, and then again when they themselves become a victim, when you still haven't let go entirely? All Cass could only hope was that Clarice hadn't been there to witness it all, to have those dying moments imprinted on the back of her eyelids and robbing her of any peace she could have had. Better to leave it an abstract grief.
Trav said nothing. Cass followed suit and tried not to let their distress show.
"Not yet, at least," Cass said in reply to Trav's oddly blithe remark. The food in his hand reminded Cass of their own empty stomach, and they fished their own bread out. The food and water would likely only last them another day, two at the most. What was left to them, then? Die of thirst alongside the ocean? Become vultures, picking through the remains of their dead classmates? In the end, it was a problem for the future, and Cass tried to turn their mind towards more pressing matters.
"But I'm, uh, probably as fine as I'm going to be with heading out whenever you're ready. You did say you other people to find, yeah? Not gonna have much luck if we just stay up here." They still weren't ready, not really; but if Trav (bless his heart) was going to remain with Cass, they couldn't weigh him down and prevent him from finding the people who actually mattered to him.
"Yeah, I have a couple of people." Man he did not have many close friends that were actually at school with him. Trav hadn't really considered that before but just considering the idea of allies had brought that realization into a sharp focus. It wasn't something he particularly minded if he was honest, he had plenty of friends but they were pretty much people who fought all his other friends were cool and all but he found you didn't have the same bond with them as someone you tried to beat up on the regular.
At the same time there was Cass who he both trusted and actually cared about which was impressive considering they had been in proper contact for all of twenty-four hours at a push. Trav looked out over the island, the weather seemed pretty much the same but it had definitely warmed up, something something just like the competition they found themselves in. Trav couldn't help grinning to himself at how melodramatic that entire idea was. It quickly slipped off his face however, it was all real and people he knew had died. He couldn't ignore that.
"And I mean, you must have friends you want to find or at least see." He didn't phrase it as a question. He was sure Cass had friends, everyone had at least a friend. He nodded to himself but turned to Cass. He had come up with the simplest plan but it wasn't like they had much choice. They would either stay on the roof listening to the chaos and death or they could dive down into it and find the people they cared about, after that...well the plan didn't go that far but that wasn't the point.
"We can wait up here for a little bit longer than just head out, pick a direction and walk or something," He shrugged. "I dunno, but what's the point worrying about it right?" There were a lot of reasons to worry about it but Trav was ignoring them.
He took out another slice of bread and sat himself down on the roof.
"Until then we can enjoy breakfast."
((Travis Lynch continued in They Stumbled Into Faith and Thought))
At the same time there was Cass who he both trusted and actually cared about which was impressive considering they had been in proper contact for all of twenty-four hours at a push. Trav looked out over the island, the weather seemed pretty much the same but it had definitely warmed up, something something just like the competition they found themselves in. Trav couldn't help grinning to himself at how melodramatic that entire idea was. It quickly slipped off his face however, it was all real and people he knew had died. He couldn't ignore that.
"And I mean, you must have friends you want to find or at least see." He didn't phrase it as a question. He was sure Cass had friends, everyone had at least a friend. He nodded to himself but turned to Cass. He had come up with the simplest plan but it wasn't like they had much choice. They would either stay on the roof listening to the chaos and death or they could dive down into it and find the people they cared about, after that...well the plan didn't go that far but that wasn't the point.
"We can wait up here for a little bit longer than just head out, pick a direction and walk or something," He shrugged. "I dunno, but what's the point worrying about it right?" There were a lot of reasons to worry about it but Trav was ignoring them.
He took out another slice of bread and sat himself down on the roof.
"Until then we can enjoy breakfast."
((Travis Lynch continued in They Stumbled Into Faith and Thought))
"Just wandering sounds good to me," Cass said in between munches. It wasn't like they had any idea on where anyone was, so no point in thinking too hard about it. Even if they did know, Cass wouldn't have been able to make the choice of what friend to rush to first, to try and calculate who mattered more to them. At least this way, the decision was out of their hands.
They ate an unsatisfying breakfast. They talked about nothing in particular. They killed what time they could.
((Then, Cass left with cautious steps and a doubtful heart.))
They ate an unsatisfying breakfast. They talked about nothing in particular. They killed what time they could.
((Then, Cass left with cautious steps and a doubtful heart.))