SOTF Song Contest # 31: The Apocalypse

[Shiola]

Semi Final # 1 Results



Well, that was anticlimactic. We have three disqualifications, meaning the remaining ten songs will move to the final round automatically.

[+] The Dark Timelines

Further - VNV Nation submitted by Boogie, who can only help but grumble and shuffle away as mankind is drowned in its own hubris.
It recieved 81 points, including two 12s, one 10, and one 8.

Let's Go Crazy - Prince, submitted by Buko, who now finds himself and the rest of the world an amorphous puddle of grey goo.
It received 67 Points including one 10, a public 10 and a public 12.

Gloomy Sunday - Billie Holliday submitted by Brackie, who was genuinely surprised and horrified to see the Box Jellyfish floating across land.
It received 56 Points, including one 8 and one public 10.

The second semi-finals will be up momentarily.

[Shiola]

Semi-Finals #2



Twelve Heirs to Ruin:

Ares, somehow prepared for the return of the dinosaurs.
Shiola, cleansing the streets of nightmarish demonspawn.
Jilly, welding together a battle-bus to escape hordes of regular, non-fungal zombies.
Fenris, arming themselves to deal with the unexpected threat of a time-travelling Hitler.
Yugikun, enjoying a trip to the Yellowstone Caldera.
RedAstaire, pondering the cosmological constant problem.
DN, eking out a livlihood making garlic bread after the vampires showed up.
Laurels, seeing something strange and unsettling through a telescope.
Emprexx Plush, dutifully chanting Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.
Ruggahissy, disappointed at the apocalypse starting from another shitty economic catastrophe.
Ohm, trying not to think about the impending gamma-ray burst.
Murderweasel, hoping he doesn't catch that nasty 100-Year Flu.

Tunes to bang or whimper to:

1999 - Prince
Gameshark - Foxing
21st Century Survival Blues - Frank Turner
Metalingus - Alter Bridge
Apocalypse Please - Muse
So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish - A Perfect Circle
Friday Night Alone - JJ Demon
#07 Kill The Humans - Hypnogaja
Shadow - Chromatics
Loot My Body - Man Man
The Stations - Gutter Twins
Don't Open Till Doomsday - The Misfits





You have until Sunday, May 12th at 5pm EST to get your votes in. Don't break a leg, you need those to run!

[Shiola]

Semifinal # 2 Results



The following two songs did not move onto the final round:

[+] Forgot to Duck and Cover

JJ Demon - Friday Night Alone received 32.5 Points.
RedAstaire was relieved to discover that the vacuum catastrophe was only a theory.
However they discovered that the rogue brown dwarf star Nemesis was not, as it barreled through the solar system and cast the Earth out of the Sun’s orbit, into an eternal icy darkness.

Alter Bridge - Metalingus received 42 Points, including one 12.
Fenris failed to stop a time-travelling Hitler from looting a library and heading back to 1939.
Now we're in one of those horrible Nazi alternate histories everyone keeps talking about.

The remaining 10 songs will make it into the final round - the post-apocalypse.

[Shiola]

Final Round - The Post-Apocalypse



Humanity's Last, Best Hope:

Ares, sharpening the bones of the last velociraptor he killed.
Shiola, who just found the BFG9000! Oh, yes.
Jilly, who drove past the last few wandering survivors on the road, but stopped for a stray dog.
Yugikun, wondering why the ground is rumbling and all of the park rangers are running.
DN, whose garlic farm continues to prosper in the post-vampire world.
Laurels, who can't help but feel like something's watching them.
Ruggahissy, who discovered that The Rich are a valuable source of protein in these hard times.
Ohm, who can't help but feel like the world is a whole lot less exciting after the solar flare hit.
Murderweasel, now one of the last people left after the 2019 Flu pandemic.
Cactus, now wondering if he's the only one the fungus zombies didn't get to.
MK Kilmarnock, hijacking a UFO to go blow up the mothership.
Zee, searching for higher ground as the comet-induced tsunami swallows the coastline.
TheLordofAwesome, now playing chess with a malignant artificial intelligence.
Spindarene, hunting for mutants in the blasted radioactive wastes.
Maraoone, desperately trying to find hallowed ground.
Deamon, reading a book in his fallout shelter as nuclear warheads fall to earth.
CrossBowPig, who hasn't built an ark but got like, a regular boat and is trying to rescue people from the biblical flood.
Skraal, now fending off the Triffids with a flamethrower.
KamiKaze, warding off Zombie Jesus with anything and everything sacrilegious.
Emprexx Plush: "Ṕ̴̭͎̓̓̀h̷͚̞̹͓̻͐̌͋͒͒'̵͕̈́̑̀n̷̢͕̹̔̆̏̓͠g̷̝̗̓̒̾̓l̵͉̟̐̿̉̈́̃u̶̦͈̬̐ḭ̴̰̄͊ ̶̳͚̙̬̩̓̈́͐̅ṃ̶̤̜͙̥̐̒g̴̡͚̮̿̊l̴̙̒̔̈́̌̀w̴̦̲̝̟̌́̅̋̚'̵̦̊̽ň̸̻̼̭͙̐̌̔ą̵͒͗͝f̶̹͎͍̂̿͘͜͝ȟ̴̜̤͍̝ ̸͓͉̈́͂̈C̵͕͛͑̕̕͜t̶̼̻̪̙̔́͗͑̑h̵̤̲̖̲̫̕u̴͙̼̯͌ͅl̸̞̘̈́h̶̡̟̗̚u̷̪̭̹̱̽͐ ̷͙͚̜̗͗̑͆͠͝R̵̥͖̺̚'̸̞̄̍l̶̫̐̀̌͐y̷̺̘̤̟͛̾́̄͝e̶͔̋̑͌h̸̢͍̼̹̽̀̽̚ ̶̢̪̖̼̌̎̒̄́w̵̧͕͚͔̍̓ͅg̷̛͔̽͒͌́ạ̵̣͙̍h̶̜̜̙̐'̵̡̲̞̝͒͐͋̒n̵̡̛̻a̶͚̼̩̹̐̈͒̋ģ̷̪̫̽͑̃͛͜l̶͈̮̰̊̀̔̎͘ ̶͔̱̿̄̀f̷̛̱̟̰͙̑̎̿̈́ḩ̸͔̮̱̆t̷͓͈̤͖͆̅̓̕a̴̩̝̫͉̅̒̉͠g̴̢̗͍̹͛͊͝n̷̰̈̑͌͘"

Doomsday Disco:

Muse - Apocalypse Please
Smashing Pumpkins – The End Is The Beginning Is The End
The Residents - N-Er-Gee (Crisis Blues)
A Perfect Circle- So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish
Deathkult Disciples - Ho99o9 (Horror)
Hypnogaja - #07 Kill The Humans
Prince - 1999
Imagine Dragons - Radioactive
Chromatics - Shadow
R.E.M. - It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)
Taylor Swift - Safe & Sound feat. The Civil Wars
Man Man – Loot My Body
The Misfits - Don't Open Till Doomsday
The Gutter Twins – The Stations
Frank Turner - 21st Century Survival Blues
Fightstar - Here Again
David Bowie – Five Years
Matchbox Twenty- How Far We’ve Come
Gameshark - Foxing
Postal Service – We Will Become Silhouettes

[Shiola]

Also, the deadline for votes is Tuesday May 14th at 6:30pm.

[Shiola]

The End Times

[+] Tied for 17th Place

Deathkult Disciples - Ho99o9 (Horror) with 27 Points.
Deamon realized that both entrances to his fallout shelter had caved in, and despite rationing his food for the next several months - starved to death in his concrete tomb.

Imagine Dragons - Radioactive with 27 Points, receiving one 8.
KamiKaze was horrified to see Zombie Jesus putting his carpentry skills to use.

[+] 16th Place

Hypnogaja - Kill the Humans with 31 Points.
Emprexx Plush l̵̛̦͐̇̿̀̅a̵̢̜̟̹̥̠͖͇͖͇̒̍͛͑̄̏̏͠ũ̴̡̬̙̘̣̬̗̥̭͓̼͔̮̇́̋͐̓̏̆̓̂̐͛͝g̸̢̢̢̟͚͈̞̱̖̼̬̭͔͛̀̀̈̏̌͆̏̋̐̍͌h̷̗́̽̊̈́ȩ̸͎̝̮̱̽̄̎̅d̵̢̢͍̯̭̞͈̭̗͚̆̿̾͐̑̇͘͘͘̕ ̸͕̭̼͈̰̼̣̯̦̖͖̣͈͕̄̓̆͆̆͊̈́̍̈̈̂͜͠ï̵̲̹͇̋͋͌̈́͐͑̔̈́̏͊͘̕ṋ̶̨̨͙̻̤͉͖̣̟̻͙̜̪̌̀͗́̌̋̐̈́̊͒ͅ ̵̪̻̥̫͖͓̲̣̝̬͕̦̮̈̋̃̆̓̉̚͜ͅę̸̡͖̙̱̪̘̻̤̈́́̐̀̓̋̏͐̏͒̀̀͛͘͝c̶̝͉̣̳͖͎͓̱̓̓̉͌́͒̋͋̚͝͠͝ͅs̶̢̱̘̜̳̺͎͕͆̇̓̏͘t̶͙̺͇̩͙̙͙̜̉͆͊̆̑͛́̃̿͝a̷̛̬̥̤̞̳̯͔̅̎͛̎́͜ͅs̷͇͕̭͚͚͙̍̕͜ÿ̸͇̮͈̤̲̪͚͍̭͙́̀̓͐͗͒̈́̌͆̈́ ̵̧̛̛̞̭͓̟̥̫̝̎͊̾̋̋̇͝ä̸̦͚́͂̈̆́s̸͚̖̩̬̱̄͛̋̑ͅ ̴̨͓̜͖̘̻̼̰̊̿t̴̠̓̎̐̇h̴͉̩͙̠̻̺͓̳̬̠̜̻̳̖͑͌͗̾͒̏͠e̸̺͚͉̭̜͙̳̬̹͎̗͎̖̓̉̃̈͌͑̌̚̕͠ ̵͕̭̙̯̙̰̩͓̣͙̮͂̓͜v̶̯̙̒̑̌͗͐͑̆̓͐͆̒̕i̷̡̡̘̱̬̯̖͇͔͙͓͇̮̋͐͆̈́͝͝s̶̛̭͙̫̤̻͔̗̥͔̠͇͜ä̷͓͔͓́̆̀̄̋́́̋̄̓̀̚̚ģ̷̮̟͇̣͉̫̤̭̣̱̉̈́̃́̓̓e̸̞̜̒̊͊̃̿̌̾̒̅̅͑ ̵͈͈̼̜̤͋̈́̊̿̈́̐̿̏̾͆̔͂̑͌͝ŏ̶̫͙̆͗̆f̶̧̥̣̺̲̤͚͂͛̀̐̄̉̕͘ ̵̦͕̫̯̼̬̙̝̲̐͒̀͗̈͑̔̌̐̚̚̚ͅC̶̨̧̢̻̠̗̼̺̳̺͙̑͝ẗ̴̨̠̭͉̱̳̜́́̒̓̒͠ḩ̶̩̭̻̭̱͎̥̬͙̦̣̒̃͜ứ̴̡̧̦͈̘͙̮͕̗̗̦̤͇͌̆̄̃̑̅͒̉̉̕l̴̞̺͓̠̣̭̝̪̼̊̑͋͒͑̽h̴̡̛̜͙͍͎͓͍̜̉͛̿́̾̽͐̈̂̔̾̐̆͝ư̶̗̮͖̱̥͔͉̥̌͗͛̐͠ ̷̡̢̖̞̠̫̳̗̣̩͊͜b̴̧̗̱͕̺͕̬͎̭̘̂̇͆̾̈́̂͆͠u̸̲̩̔̈́̌̐̀̔̀̃̒̈́̋͌r̴͎̯̱̺̒̄̂̽͐̿͗̉̉́͑̕͝ͅn̸̢̠̯̫̝̥̺̱̑́̌̄͛̈́̇̿e̶̛̼̜̼͗̀̑͗d̸̡̛̥͕͎̥̫̲̬̣̀̓͐͋́̈́́̀͊̃̂̕͘ ̷̨̨̪̰̲̼̟̟̙̬͍͗̈́̎͊̌̽̔̂̆̀̅̚͠͠ͅǫ̸̫̘͖̮̭̠̳͙̥̬̞̻͌̎͜u̴̢̧̝̦͚̙͚̰͓̮̩̬̲̦̒̄̽́̌̆̈̕͜t̵͕̊̂ ̸̻͎̌̎̈́̓͐͒̅̄̇̚̚̕t̶͎͍̭̎͜ḩ̸̛̞̙͚͍̺͈̬̈͌̅͑̾͊́̊̂͒̐̌͜͜͝͠e̷̛͕͚̯͖̰̝̞̥̟̻͖̻̜̲͗̽̈́̏́̃̋͗̆̇͆̂ï̷̘͉̪̫̰̖̲͈̓͒͂͐̈́̿͝r̸̨̟̠̺̲͕͎̜̼͔͈͛͗́̎͒͐̓͑̕͝ ̵̧̡̛̣͙̫̲̟̭͈̠̺͓̀̽̐̊̅̐̃̋̒̕̚͜ĕ̶̱̦͎̃͑̇̔̏̃͒̓̽̂̈́͋̏y̴̢̧̭͍͚̥̖̫̼͕̭̑̆̆̅̒̑̋͐̑̏͜͜͝ȩ̴̬̗̝̭̓̅͊̍̎͒̆̈́̄̓́̚͘ ̴̛̞̬̙̩͓͓̀̅̃̕s̸̡͖̳̒͂̉̈́̎̅̏̏̏̓̓̿̕͘ọ̶͙͙̭̬̬̳̉͌̌̈̍̓̊c̴̢͍͎͕͚͉͉̤͖͇̖͜͝k̶̦̯̙̗͉͌̽̔̽̌̈́̈͘ẹ̸̥̗̗̣̳̫̪̔͐͜ẗ̸̝̝͚͙̳̺̳͖́̔͆̇̂̃̅͊̚͜͝ş̵̼̎͋͊͒̕̕.̸̼̣̮͈̹̔́̏̂̊̆̄͛̔͑̅͠͝

[+] 15th Place

Fightstar - Here Again (Last Conversation) with 32 Points, including one 10.
Skraal discovered it was hard to aim a flamethrower blind, after the Triffids discovered how to spit acid.

[+] 14th Place

The Residents - N-Er-Gee (Crisis Blues) with 39 Points, including two 10s and one 12.
CrossBowPig thought that their approach of helping others survive the flood was a noble endeavor; this was not the position taken by those who shot them and stole their boat.

[Shiola]

[+] 13th Place

Taylor Swift - Safe & Sound feat. The Civil Wars with 43 Points including two 12s.
Maraoone couldn't find hallowed ground in time, and was carried off by the bloody bombardment of Beelzebub's breathtakingly belligerent bees.

[+] 12th Place

1999 by Prince, with 47 Points, including one 10.
Although the dog wasn't a zombie, it had killed its previous owner and now had a taste for human blood. Jilly never saw it coming, and crashed their battle bus into a ditch as the vicious Shiba-Inu tore into their throat and ate their face.

[+] 11th Place

The Misfits - Don't Open 'Till Doomsday with 51 Points, including one 10 and one 8.
Ohm thought they found a safe place to hide, but nowhere is really safe from a barrage of falling satellites.

[+] Tied for 10th Place

Chromatics - Shadow with 58 points, including one 10.
Laurels was upset to discover that the Moon was angry. Really, really angry.

Frank Turner - 21st Century Survival Blues with 58 Points including one 12, one 10 and one 8.
Not even the BFG9000 was enough to save Shiola, who was crushed by the Cyberdemon’s Steel Hoof.

[+] 9th Place

Muse - Apocalypse Please with 60 Points, including three 10s and one 8.
Ares was prepared to deal with the return of the dinosaurs. He wasn't quite sure to react to the return of Arthropleura, a species of eight foot long arthropods with hundreds of legs. I mean, how could you even be prepared for that? They were prepared for him.

[Shiola]

[+] 8th Place

Foxing - Gameshark with 61 Points including two 10s and two 8s.
Yugikun enjoyed a trip to the Yellowstone Caldera, until it exploded. They didn't enjoy their trip to lower orbit as much, nor the trip back down.

[+] 7th Place

The Gutter Twins - The Stations with 62 Points including one 12 and one 8.
After enjoying the most expensive meal in human history, Ruggahissy discovered that not only were there not enough of the 1% to sustain her for very long, but that they were in fact, truly rotten to the core. She died of dysentery in a pile of human remains completely indistinguishable from those of the poor.

[+] 6th Place

The Smashing Pumpkins - The End is the Beginning is The End with 68 Points including three 12s.
Cactus was hunted down by the mushroom zombies, diced and fried in a pan with butter, onions, and garlic. Some of him ended up on a pizza.

[+] 5th Place

The Postal Service - We Will Become Silhouettes with 71 Points including one 12 and three 10s.
Zee was clamoring up a hill when a passing and very confused shark decided to snatch a last meal.
They both perished after slamming headfirst into a water tower.

[+] Tied for 4th Place

R.E.M. - The End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine) with 82 Points including two 12s and three 8s.
MK KIlmarnock learned that flying the UFO was actually pretty easy.
However, he forgot to seal the hatch on his way into the upper atmosphere, and most of his blood was expelled from his eye sockets as the craft depressurized.

David Bowie - Five Years with 82 Points including four 12s and one 10.
Spindarene died when the blasted radioactive wastes decided to blast back.

[Shiola]

[+] 3rd Place

Man Man - Loot my Body with 85 Points including two 12s, two 10s, and two 8s.
Murderweasel didn't die of the Flu, but did manage to anger an enormous flock of Canada Geese, who had been feasting on nothing but human flesh for months. The last thing he heard was furious, bloodthirsty honking.

[+] 2nd Place

A Perfect Circle - So Long and Thanks For All The Fish with 87 Points including one 12, two 10s, and one 8.
DN got found out by the vampires, and was promptly and hilariously made into blood sausage.

[+] The Survivor of the Apocalypse

Matchbox Twenty- How Far We’ve Come with 89 Points including two 12s and three 8s.

The Artifical Intelligence enjoyed playing chess with TheLordofAwesome so much, that it decided to spare humanity...

If only to play games with until the end of time.



The End.