Yay Marvin! I have fond memories of him. Lets hope Im not still delusional from that last readthrough.
Marvins hobbies include tennis, debate club, and being a member of the young Republicans. His hobbies are normal and I like that (Though ends up being a negative stereotype of conservatives BUT THATS FOR LATER). His physical appearance is also normal. Hes what you would expect a 14-year-old private school student to look like. His bio is okay, barring some tonal stuff, but I mean like every V2 profile had tonal issues so thats K. Like, its pretty obvious he was designed as a dick who gets killed early on, but hes effective at being a dick who gets killed early on.
Ive decided that I hate pregame now, but I can remember some stuff from Marvins so thats ok. Hes pretty much characterized as a meanieface magoo whos one of Renees goons, and also he doesnt like his brother that much. Its pretty good for a V2 pregame, I guess. Theres definitely some wacky stuff that happens, but none of it is Marvins fault. Hes established as a meany, and its established solidly. Hes a stereotypical republican, too, which is something V2 had a lot of *coughAnthonyAinsworthcough*.
Marvins first island thread is basically just Damien being sad and then Marvin popping up and mugs him. Its nothing special and its really fucking long (especially for a oneshot), but its not terrible or anything. Marvin pretty much becomes the worst person ever and Damien does...something. A personal highlight of the thread is that LaZ punctuates the thread with Damiens blood pressure, even though he had no idea how blood pressure worked. As a result, if this was real life, Damien would have died so many fucking times what the fuck he had like ten heart attacks. Staff pls nerf Damien he too strong.
threaaaaad 2: Marvins thoughts are in green, and he gets a BOY#SOMETHING:LASTNAME, FIRSTNAME: ALIVE tag which i h888888888888888888. I feel like theres been a sharp drop in quality, even from the last thread. Marvin has weird thoughts like Marvin is in the hizzouse, which are kinda turning me off the character tbh. Uh, so anyways, Franco (one of Marvins pals) is being all fake-gentlemanly to Anna Dibbidenwhateveri. LaZ keeps interrupting Marvins posts with OOC shit and its really taking me out of it. Oh and Paris Persphone is also here but then he leaves so I guess hes not. And then everyone else leaves. well ok.
last thread! I dont at all understand what is going on in this thread, but somehow Marvin ends up shirtless under his sweatervest, Paris steals Anna, and then Franco splodes Marvin. I honestly dont understand. Also Russ Gofis shows up, and hes a real handful.
Conclusion: Well, bluh...I guess I was delusional after all. Marvins, well, hes certainly something. He was made as a character to propel Damien along his trajectory of eventual murderdom, and that was about it. Hes not particularly deep as a character and just felt kind of...empty, I guess. Marvin was mediocre.
i want more kids give me more kids oogah boogah oogah boogah
The V2 Read-o-thon
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Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2563
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
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Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2563
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
kids who die quickly are my favorite kind of kid please don't quote this out of context
Okay so Nessy. Her profile doesn't have Giant Red Flags of the "has killed before" variety but it does have lines like "Basically, if you were to look up 'Loner' in the dictionary, you'd see her picture. (trust me, it wouldn't be pretty either.)" which doesn't set me up with high expectations. No pregame, so straight into her first thread, which is a oneshot named... Nessy Guthrie. Okay. And it's not good either; the writing is really in need of proofreading and also Nessy has a voice in her head telling her that she's worthless and that it "can help" which: please don't. At least she has some personality, even if that personality is basically feeling sorry for herself.
Second thread: (skips past Paris Persphone's posts at Top Speed) Nessy doesn't have a voice in her head now thank god. She finds a house, which reminds her of home, which makes her think about her mother, in a way that's kind of manipulative-feeling and ineffective. WAIT I LIED THERE'S A VOICE IN HER HEAD AGAIN. The voice is telling her that she's fat. Thanks, voice. Paris kills someone, I don't read it because I don't care, Nessy hears but doesn't actually see anything and the voice in her head continues to tell her she sucks until the fighting stops and she sneaks out. Basically all I've gotten from her personality is that she hates herself and has a voice in her head that tells her so constantly.
Third/last thread: Now the voice in her head is in red type and I'm already dreading reading any of this. Also the voice is named Vanessa apparently, which is Nessy's real name, which means something probably. I don't know I really hate this cliche a Lot. I don't mind when it's just someone having an internal mono/dialogue but when the separate voice has a name and it's own personality whether or not it's Intended to be schizophrenia it just feels like a half-assed attempt at schizophrenia. ANYWAY wait shit not anyway """Vanessa""" is taking over Nessy. She's saying stuff in red now. I hate this so much. She yells about how religion is bullshit until a religious kid shoots her and apparently """Vanessa""" dies and Nessy feels "whole" and are you Kiriyama now or nevermind whatever she has dying thoughts about being set free and how she feels beautiful now and then she's dead.
final thoughts/tl;dr: Nessy's far from the worst thing in v2 but there's nothing here worth reading especially if you're like me and you can't stand the evil-voice-in-my-head cliche.
I know I'm tempting fate but: one more.
Okay so Nessy. Her profile doesn't have Giant Red Flags of the "has killed before" variety but it does have lines like "Basically, if you were to look up 'Loner' in the dictionary, you'd see her picture. (trust me, it wouldn't be pretty either.)" which doesn't set me up with high expectations. No pregame, so straight into her first thread, which is a oneshot named... Nessy Guthrie. Okay. And it's not good either; the writing is really in need of proofreading and also Nessy has a voice in her head telling her that she's worthless and that it "can help" which: please don't. At least she has some personality, even if that personality is basically feeling sorry for herself.
Second thread: (skips past Paris Persphone's posts at Top Speed) Nessy doesn't have a voice in her head now thank god. She finds a house, which reminds her of home, which makes her think about her mother, in a way that's kind of manipulative-feeling and ineffective. WAIT I LIED THERE'S A VOICE IN HER HEAD AGAIN. The voice is telling her that she's fat. Thanks, voice. Paris kills someone, I don't read it because I don't care, Nessy hears but doesn't actually see anything and the voice in her head continues to tell her she sucks until the fighting stops and she sneaks out. Basically all I've gotten from her personality is that she hates herself and has a voice in her head that tells her so constantly.
Third/last thread: Now the voice in her head is in red type and I'm already dreading reading any of this. Also the voice is named Vanessa apparently, which is Nessy's real name, which means something probably. I don't know I really hate this cliche a Lot. I don't mind when it's just someone having an internal mono/dialogue but when the separate voice has a name and it's own personality whether or not it's Intended to be schizophrenia it just feels like a half-assed attempt at schizophrenia. ANYWAY wait shit not anyway """Vanessa""" is taking over Nessy. She's saying stuff in red now. I hate this so much. She yells about how religion is bullshit until a religious kid shoots her and apparently """Vanessa""" dies and Nessy feels "whole" and are you Kiriyama now or nevermind whatever she has dying thoughts about being set free and how she feels beautiful now and then she's dead.
final thoughts/tl;dr: Nessy's far from the worst thing in v2 but there's nothing here worth reading especially if you're like me and you can't stand the evil-voice-in-my-head cliche.
I know I'm tempting fate but: one more.
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Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2563
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
I quite like Blake, but he suffers from several flaws that detract from his character.
The opening thread works through strong and realistic thought processes. He's bright, but also flawed, and he shows that very quickly when his idea of taping a bible to his chest to act as padding is quickly shown to simply be an annoyance rather than a great idea.
His thought processes are interesting, sometimes thinking about what the game means more than his personal affairs, we occasionally get a little bit too much of the intelligent atheist archetype seeping through in the early writing, but for the most part he makes it work.
It's helped that he interacts with a lot of quality writing in his threads, his kill of Gregory is brutal, his reaction to the utterly hilarious (probably not intentionally) Stacy is nuanced, and his interactions with himself with Franco are played well enough that it doesn't seem off putting.
There's some of that unalienable wierdness that suffuses v2, though some only seem odd due to being retconned away.
Blake hits some problems starting in the middle, with a few slow threads. There's an interesting scene featuring three of Nealosi's characters, but the setup is somewhat muddled, and would probably flow better with a few breaks.
The writing remains engaging, but writing with himself for extended periods of time feel very out of place, and the lack of strong interactions with characters that aren't Franco put a damper on what could be strong writing.
It's unfortunate that he went inactive at the end, but overall Blake is a decent character with a strong voice who was marred by certain narrative choices.
New kid please.
The opening thread works through strong and realistic thought processes. He's bright, but also flawed, and he shows that very quickly when his idea of taping a bible to his chest to act as padding is quickly shown to simply be an annoyance rather than a great idea.
His thought processes are interesting, sometimes thinking about what the game means more than his personal affairs, we occasionally get a little bit too much of the intelligent atheist archetype seeping through in the early writing, but for the most part he makes it work.
It's helped that he interacts with a lot of quality writing in his threads, his kill of Gregory is brutal, his reaction to the utterly hilarious (probably not intentionally) Stacy is nuanced, and his interactions with himself with Franco are played well enough that it doesn't seem off putting.
There's some of that unalienable wierdness that suffuses v2, though some only seem odd due to being retconned away.
Blake hits some problems starting in the middle, with a few slow threads. There's an interesting scene featuring three of Nealosi's characters, but the setup is somewhat muddled, and would probably flow better with a few breaks.
The writing remains engaging, but writing with himself for extended periods of time feel very out of place, and the lack of strong interactions with characters that aren't Franco put a damper on what could be strong writing.
It's unfortunate that he went inactive at the end, but overall Blake is a decent character with a strong voice who was marred by certain narrative choices.
New kid please.
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Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2563
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
god this is one of the victims of the mitsuko massacre of 2006-2007 isn't she. RIP you beautiful bastards
Okay so Zilya. Her profile feels more like a later-version profile in terms of length and depth of content, if not in tone. She's an exchange student who moved from Russia to England and attends school in Canada and then takes part in a program for Canadian students to go to school in the US which would bother me a lot more if this wasn't v2. Fight the real enemy. She's smart but kind of a loner and has issues with her temper. Duly noted. No pregame again.
First thread: Huy is here can I just read him instead no okay. Anyway Zilya shows up at the end of the thread for one very short post and then leaves again. That very short post isn't horrible and doesn't feature Zilya flying off the handle or anything but it doesn't exactly showcase her personality either. Her second thread again she turns up toward the end for only two posts, and honestly versus what I was expecting she isn't that bad? Her posts are short and don't show a huge amount of personality, but at least she's acting rationally despite clearly being irritable. She decides not to follow any of the people she ran into for fear it would make her look weak, which... isn't rational, but it's not totally unreasonable either?
Thread #3 is one I already read, since it's part of the Sera Wingfield Saga, and I literally don't remember Zilya being in it, probably because she pops in for one post and pops out in the next, again. Thread #4 she suddenly runs into a very fresh corpse and her crying killer, who she feels bad for and also she says a prayer? Which feels a bit out of place since being religious isn't really a Thing with her. Then the guy leaves and idk I'm trying to find good things to say here but most of Zilya's posts are purely functional so there's nothing to really say at all.
Last thread. What the fuck. I'm not gonna bother saying anything just like. What the fuck.
final thoughts/tl;dr: not nearly as bad as I was expecting but still pretty bad? Like for a couple of posts back up in the second thread I thought she was looking okay but her posts just got less personal and more utilitarian and she just never makes any friends or relates to anyone in any way and then gets basically atomized. So like not the worst thing ever but definitely nothing here to recommend.
I probably won't get around to it Tonight but gimme another anyway.
Okay so Zilya. Her profile feels more like a later-version profile in terms of length and depth of content, if not in tone. She's an exchange student who moved from Russia to England and attends school in Canada and then takes part in a program for Canadian students to go to school in the US which would bother me a lot more if this wasn't v2. Fight the real enemy. She's smart but kind of a loner and has issues with her temper. Duly noted. No pregame again.
First thread: Huy is here can I just read him instead no okay. Anyway Zilya shows up at the end of the thread for one very short post and then leaves again. That very short post isn't horrible and doesn't feature Zilya flying off the handle or anything but it doesn't exactly showcase her personality either. Her second thread again she turns up toward the end for only two posts, and honestly versus what I was expecting she isn't that bad? Her posts are short and don't show a huge amount of personality, but at least she's acting rationally despite clearly being irritable. She decides not to follow any of the people she ran into for fear it would make her look weak, which... isn't rational, but it's not totally unreasonable either?
Thread #3 is one I already read, since it's part of the Sera Wingfield Saga, and I literally don't remember Zilya being in it, probably because she pops in for one post and pops out in the next, again. Thread #4 she suddenly runs into a very fresh corpse and her crying killer, who she feels bad for and also she says a prayer? Which feels a bit out of place since being religious isn't really a Thing with her. Then the guy leaves and idk I'm trying to find good things to say here but most of Zilya's posts are purely functional so there's nothing to really say at all.
Last thread. What the fuck. I'm not gonna bother saying anything just like. What the fuck.
final thoughts/tl;dr: not nearly as bad as I was expecting but still pretty bad? Like for a couple of posts back up in the second thread I thought she was looking okay but her posts just got less personal and more utilitarian and she just never makes any friends or relates to anyone in any way and then gets basically atomized. So like not the worst thing ever but definitely nothing here to recommend.
I probably won't get around to it Tonight but gimme another anyway.
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Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2563
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
Sooo... thoughts on Matty Drew. He's good. Very much decent all the way through, because he's got a consistency to him in that he's in a stable enough storyline. For the most part.
So Matt's bio is fine for earlier standards. He's a stoner and likes sex. Yes, he also gets arrested every week but eh. Stick with the basics. So Matt, handled by baby_g, immediately wakes up and starts his (I presume) pre-planned island buddy comedy with Rob Adams, handled by the venerable Dan. So Matt is all like "let's have drugs and sex" and Rob is all like "whoa I am the slightly straighter arrow in the duo" and then Matt would be like "lol straight" and you get the idea. So the two of them go off.
And then Matt meets a recurring theme, in a seductive harlot appears to tempt him into sexytimes and he's all like "YES SEX" and Rob is all like "NO YOU MORON." I prepared for the worst.... and then Matt suddenly realizes as the girl is damn near mounting him that maybe some girl on death island blatantly trying to seduce him is a trap AND SO HE STOPS. I was.... fucking amazed, people. Intelligently making the right decision? Out of nowhere like that. Well, well done.
Matt and Rob go on and continue with their awkward buddy comedy banter, and it's kind of like watching two college-aged writers who are still learning write about what people found funny 10 years ago... which is exactly what it was. Which means lots of dialogue along the lines of "Hey Matt, keep your dick in your pants while I look around, haha!" "Yeah, I bet you want my dick BECAUSE YOU'RE GAY Rob, haha!" "Haha I love you bro!" You get the idea. It's not bad at all. Just a bit thin.
So they meet up with another girl named Anna who is a breath of Christian normalcy fresh air in all this stuff and she's too pure for Matt to possibly corrupt and I was looking forward to what happened next. Calvert comes in for a quick cameo to kill a guy while Rob watches and Matt and Anna stay back and it's really well done. Unfortunately Anna had already gone inactive at this point and so when Matt and Rob move on she... suddenly goes crazy and lets her collar detonate. Disappointing. Rob and Matt go to the hospital and get stoned and Matt scores a kill on a guy for attacking him and then eats some bread and forgets about it. Deaths and kills were reeeeeeallly glossed over in V2, I be finding. Seductive harlot #2 and some other guy show up and Matt and Rob wisely don't trust them both and split away from them for the night. That was good. But Rob's desire for ladysex gets the best of him and he goes to visit the harlot but she gives him a case of the ol' blue balls, and then Rob gets pissed at Matt and hits him in the balls himself and they sneak off from the harlot in the morning. It's better than I'm making it sound, trust me.
So they go back to pay their respects to Anna and while Rob's doing that seductive harlot #3 shows up and starts making out with Matt before Rob punches him in the face and eventually gets in a fight with the girl and kills her. Matty boy, you're losing me a bit here. They head to the river and drag away a girl named Stephanie in a scene that reads kinda weird, especially since in the next thread the three of them are acting like they've been together for days now. Matt and Stephanie don't like each other, and then Stephanie goes nutso on another girl and kills her and Matt gives Rob the option of him or her. Rob chooses his best buddy Matt so Stephanie kills herself and Matt makes more jokes. Yeah, this has gotten more sexist a read than it probably should have at this point. They decide to look for one of Rob's hockey buddies who will know how to escape. Sure.
Next thread they come across Kevin, Sera and Jana, and Kevin knocks Rob out and challenges Matt to fight him. Matt has a gun and could just shoot him but accepts. That's dumb, Matt. Kevin sweetens the deal by offering Matt sex with Sera if he wins the fight. Sera is cool with that. Graaah. Kevin is about to win but Rob wakes up and shoots him. Ahahahaha. I did like that. Sera and Jana are surprisingly chill with all this and agree to team up... and Rob sees some other guy he knows in the distance and walks off and disappears, never to be seen with Matt again.
GODDAMNIT. Really. That was a tremendously disappointing way to end the awkward buddy comedy team of v2 like that. Like.... it was fine. It worked! And then Rob walks off. Uggggh. Really leaves a sour taste in your mouth.
So Matt continues on with Sera and Jana. He kills another girl after acting like a total jackass and Jana fights with him and Sera and leaves. That leaves Matt alone with Sera, who promptly shows herself to be seductive harlot #4. And Matt finally gets his sex! Then he falls asleep and she shoots him.
That wasn't bad at all. Matt works, for the most part, given all the obvious disclaimers about being v2. He was a bit all over the place with his motivation, going from the unflappable likeable stoner to the misogynistic jackass, but you could see a fully developed character there. Good work.
Gimme another
So Matt's bio is fine for earlier standards. He's a stoner and likes sex. Yes, he also gets arrested every week but eh. Stick with the basics. So Matt, handled by baby_g, immediately wakes up and starts his (I presume) pre-planned island buddy comedy with Rob Adams, handled by the venerable Dan. So Matt is all like "let's have drugs and sex" and Rob is all like "whoa I am the slightly straighter arrow in the duo" and then Matt would be like "lol straight" and you get the idea. So the two of them go off.
And then Matt meets a recurring theme, in a seductive harlot appears to tempt him into sexytimes and he's all like "YES SEX" and Rob is all like "NO YOU MORON." I prepared for the worst.... and then Matt suddenly realizes as the girl is damn near mounting him that maybe some girl on death island blatantly trying to seduce him is a trap AND SO HE STOPS. I was.... fucking amazed, people. Intelligently making the right decision? Out of nowhere like that. Well, well done.
Matt and Rob go on and continue with their awkward buddy comedy banter, and it's kind of like watching two college-aged writers who are still learning write about what people found funny 10 years ago... which is exactly what it was. Which means lots of dialogue along the lines of "Hey Matt, keep your dick in your pants while I look around, haha!" "Yeah, I bet you want my dick BECAUSE YOU'RE GAY Rob, haha!" "Haha I love you bro!" You get the idea. It's not bad at all. Just a bit thin.
So they meet up with another girl named Anna who is a breath of Christian normalcy fresh air in all this stuff and she's too pure for Matt to possibly corrupt and I was looking forward to what happened next. Calvert comes in for a quick cameo to kill a guy while Rob watches and Matt and Anna stay back and it's really well done. Unfortunately Anna had already gone inactive at this point and so when Matt and Rob move on she... suddenly goes crazy and lets her collar detonate. Disappointing. Rob and Matt go to the hospital and get stoned and Matt scores a kill on a guy for attacking him and then eats some bread and forgets about it. Deaths and kills were reeeeeeallly glossed over in V2, I be finding. Seductive harlot #2 and some other guy show up and Matt and Rob wisely don't trust them both and split away from them for the night. That was good. But Rob's desire for ladysex gets the best of him and he goes to visit the harlot but she gives him a case of the ol' blue balls, and then Rob gets pissed at Matt and hits him in the balls himself and they sneak off from the harlot in the morning. It's better than I'm making it sound, trust me.
So they go back to pay their respects to Anna and while Rob's doing that seductive harlot #3 shows up and starts making out with Matt before Rob punches him in the face and eventually gets in a fight with the girl and kills her. Matty boy, you're losing me a bit here. They head to the river and drag away a girl named Stephanie in a scene that reads kinda weird, especially since in the next thread the three of them are acting like they've been together for days now. Matt and Stephanie don't like each other, and then Stephanie goes nutso on another girl and kills her and Matt gives Rob the option of him or her. Rob chooses his best buddy Matt so Stephanie kills herself and Matt makes more jokes. Yeah, this has gotten more sexist a read than it probably should have at this point. They decide to look for one of Rob's hockey buddies who will know how to escape. Sure.
Next thread they come across Kevin, Sera and Jana, and Kevin knocks Rob out and challenges Matt to fight him. Matt has a gun and could just shoot him but accepts. That's dumb, Matt. Kevin sweetens the deal by offering Matt sex with Sera if he wins the fight. Sera is cool with that. Graaah. Kevin is about to win but Rob wakes up and shoots him. Ahahahaha. I did like that. Sera and Jana are surprisingly chill with all this and agree to team up... and Rob sees some other guy he knows in the distance and walks off and disappears, never to be seen with Matt again.
GODDAMNIT. Really. That was a tremendously disappointing way to end the awkward buddy comedy team of v2 like that. Like.... it was fine. It worked! And then Rob walks off. Uggggh. Really leaves a sour taste in your mouth.
So Matt continues on with Sera and Jana. He kills another girl after acting like a total jackass and Jana fights with him and Sera and leaves. That leaves Matt alone with Sera, who promptly shows herself to be seductive harlot #4. And Matt finally gets his sex! Then he falls asleep and she shoots him.
That wasn't bad at all. Matt works, for the most part, given all the obvious disclaimers about being v2. He was a bit all over the place with his motivation, going from the unflappable likeable stoner to the misogynistic jackass, but you could see a fully developed character there. Good work.
Gimme another
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Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2563
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
okay i SAID i wouldn't do another tonight but this is an easy one
So according to his profile Anthony Ainsworth loves Jesus and is also the biggest bigot ever and is also an Aryan wet dream. Lovely. No pregame, so to the first thread, where he immediately decides his being here is a mistake and that he's going to find Danya and tell him that he's made a mistake and then it'll be fine. Also he ends his first post with "forgive me, Father, for I will sin" which is the second funniest thing I've read so far. He runs into Stacy Holorson and calls her a slut and a whore in his internal monologue three times in the same post and basically thinks about how worthless she is and how great he is and it's all really a lot. Like he's an obvious villain drawn up from the beginning for people to hate him and he kind of fails at that by being way too obvious about it. There isn't a single thought in his head that isn't Obviously Evil. Also after being polite to her for the first few posts he suddenly calls Stacy a filthy heathen whore with hands of death. Sure why not.
Second/last thread. Now Anthony decides he's been put on SotF to show the home audience the Power of Jesus. There's an announcement and he starts praying for the dead despite in the last thread having clearly shown contempt for literally everyone else on the island. He runs into someone else and is being super nice to him and it's weird? I guess we're suppose to think that since Anthony had a Jesus Epiphany he's a nice guy now, or maybe only women are filthy heathen whores, idk. Also the words "caucasionally challenged" happen which take the 2nd place spot back for funniest thing I've read in v2. Anyway some other guy is here now and Anthony thinks he's Satan and does an exorcism or something? And then one of Mitsuko's girls comes in and unceremoniously smashes his head in.
final thoughts/tl;dr: literally nothing here worth reading. except the words "caucasionally challenged", which you just read, so I saved you some time.
throw me another corpse tomorrow/whenever you have time I have nothing better to do apparently
So according to his profile Anthony Ainsworth loves Jesus and is also the biggest bigot ever and is also an Aryan wet dream. Lovely. No pregame, so to the first thread, where he immediately decides his being here is a mistake and that he's going to find Danya and tell him that he's made a mistake and then it'll be fine. Also he ends his first post with "forgive me, Father, for I will sin" which is the second funniest thing I've read so far. He runs into Stacy Holorson and calls her a slut and a whore in his internal monologue three times in the same post and basically thinks about how worthless she is and how great he is and it's all really a lot. Like he's an obvious villain drawn up from the beginning for people to hate him and he kind of fails at that by being way too obvious about it. There isn't a single thought in his head that isn't Obviously Evil. Also after being polite to her for the first few posts he suddenly calls Stacy a filthy heathen whore with hands of death. Sure why not.
Second/last thread. Now Anthony decides he's been put on SotF to show the home audience the Power of Jesus. There's an announcement and he starts praying for the dead despite in the last thread having clearly shown contempt for literally everyone else on the island. He runs into someone else and is being super nice to him and it's weird? I guess we're suppose to think that since Anthony had a Jesus Epiphany he's a nice guy now, or maybe only women are filthy heathen whores, idk. Also the words "caucasionally challenged" happen which take the 2nd place spot back for funniest thing I've read in v2. Anyway some other guy is here now and Anthony thinks he's Satan and does an exorcism or something? And then one of Mitsuko's girls comes in and unceremoniously smashes his head in.
final thoughts/tl;dr: literally nothing here worth reading. except the words "caucasionally challenged", which you just read, so I saved you some time.
throw me another corpse tomorrow/whenever you have time I have nothing better to do apparently
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Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2563
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
I wouldn't really say Walter is a good character, in all honesty. Despite the profile being sorta funny in how much it tries to set up Walter as like, this edgy evil figure, this doesnt really apply in the game itself and in all honesty hes just sorta boring for the most part. Hes psychotic, but not in a way thats really interesting, as instead of letting this show through his thought processes or emotional core were just constantly told by the narrative that hes psychotic over and over again, and his actions (going into great detail on how he cuts a dudes dick off, raping Mariavel) are pretty clearly aiming for shock value and setting him up to be like, the big villain of V2 - but robbing him of a proper emotional core that a villain really needs to be seen as interesting and more than a one note psycho who does things just because theyre seen as bad things to do by the writer.
Walter also suffers mechanically as well, and on a pure writing levels theres a couple things he does that just irk me as a reader. During fight scenes with other handlers - such as with Blake and Mariavel - theres this thing Walter does where he goes into hypotheticals on what happens depending on which actions succeed or not, which reeks of GMing and as a reader takes me right out of whats happening in front of me. In addition, his narrative is loaded with contradictions, stating one thing and then shortly after saying something that contradicts this (an example being Most could not tell from a simple glance, but the boy was a total psychopath. Almost everyone knew of that fact, and his random outbursts of violence, stating a fact and then contradicting it the very next sentence), which as a reader confuses me and makes it harder to understand what the narrative is trying to say, which given the issues with the narriative already doesnt make it any more interesting or pleasent to read.
I will say that Slayer/TBH has written good characters before, but to be honest Walter is far from one of them, and to be honest isnt someone Id really recommend at all.
Gimme another, barkeep.
Walter also suffers mechanically as well, and on a pure writing levels theres a couple things he does that just irk me as a reader. During fight scenes with other handlers - such as with Blake and Mariavel - theres this thing Walter does where he goes into hypotheticals on what happens depending on which actions succeed or not, which reeks of GMing and as a reader takes me right out of whats happening in front of me. In addition, his narrative is loaded with contradictions, stating one thing and then shortly after saying something that contradicts this (an example being Most could not tell from a simple glance, but the boy was a total psychopath. Almost everyone knew of that fact, and his random outbursts of violence, stating a fact and then contradicting it the very next sentence), which as a reader confuses me and makes it harder to understand what the narrative is trying to say, which given the issues with the narriative already doesnt make it any more interesting or pleasent to read.
I will say that Slayer/TBH has written good characters before, but to be honest Walter is far from one of them, and to be honest isnt someone Id really recommend at all.
Gimme another, barkeep.
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Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2563
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
Gregory Moyer has only three threads. The first thread is just an intro oneshot, the second thread is just him sneaking in while a group is on their way out and then leaving in the next post, and the third thread is his death scene. So yeah, he's fodder. He is delightful, though.
He's a completely ridiculous character. He's a Macguyver-like genius inventor who's a fan of SOTF while also thinking that it's a secret Nazi conspiracy. His goal is to use his genius to determine the island's location, and hopefully use that knowledge to help rescue everyone and defeat the Nazis. He mostly comes off as fun insane rather than eye-rolling insane. On top of that, his handler does a good job at keeping him relatively grounded compared to most of the loonies from early SOTF. He's constantly thinking back to his family, and while it's simple it does a good job at humanizing him.
His death in particular is very engaging and tragic. Both handlers do a good job at writing the scene. The circumstances that lead to his death are kind of absurd, but completely in-character.
I recommend him for a quick read.
He's a completely ridiculous character. He's a Macguyver-like genius inventor who's a fan of SOTF while also thinking that it's a secret Nazi conspiracy. His goal is to use his genius to determine the island's location, and hopefully use that knowledge to help rescue everyone and defeat the Nazis. He mostly comes off as fun insane rather than eye-rolling insane. On top of that, his handler does a good job at keeping him relatively grounded compared to most of the loonies from early SOTF. He's constantly thinking back to his family, and while it's simple it does a good job at humanizing him.
His death in particular is very engaging and tragic. Both handlers do a good job at writing the scene. The circumstances that lead to his death are kind of absurd, but completely in-character.
I recommend him for a quick read.
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Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2563
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
Steven Smith was a little disappointing. His profile was alright, and his first thread started out really good. The two characters didnt feel like caricatures for the most part, and their interaction was fairly natural. That is, until Steven decides to bring up religion. His attempt to convert Nessy is rather awkward and unnatural, but in character, he seems to be aware of that, so it's alright. Nessy responds extremely negatively to this, and their interaction escalates fairly quickly into violence, revealing Steven to be yet another one of the bigoted Bible-thumping stereotypes that seem to be so common in this version. I will give some points for the Pulp Fiction reference in his final post of the thread, though.
His second thread was a little better, though by that point hes just turned into a generic villain, with most of the religion angle pushed to the side. Its good to see that, despite his thoughts and actions in the previous thread, when reflecting upon the murder committed earlier, he doesnt actually believe his actions to have been justified. It humanizes his character somewhat, which is welcome, though these regrets dont actually lead him to change his course of action.
Stevens last thread is pretty much all action, with his internal thoughts barely showing outside of his death post. Almost immediately after entering the thread, he gets into a fight with Matt Drew which ends pretty quickly. In his final post, which is unfortunately a songpost, Stevens regrets fade away as he asks God for forgiveness for the murder he committed. He dies confident that he is going to heaven, secure in the knowledge that he is Gods faithful servant.
What is it with V2 and ignorant religious/ethnic stereotypes?
Ill take another character.
His second thread was a little better, though by that point hes just turned into a generic villain, with most of the religion angle pushed to the side. Its good to see that, despite his thoughts and actions in the previous thread, when reflecting upon the murder committed earlier, he doesnt actually believe his actions to have been justified. It humanizes his character somewhat, which is welcome, though these regrets dont actually lead him to change his course of action.
Stevens last thread is pretty much all action, with his internal thoughts barely showing outside of his death post. Almost immediately after entering the thread, he gets into a fight with Matt Drew which ends pretty quickly. In his final post, which is unfortunately a songpost, Stevens regrets fade away as he asks God for forgiveness for the murder he committed. He dies confident that he is going to heaven, secure in the knowledge that he is Gods faithful servant.
What is it with V2 and ignorant religious/ethnic stereotypes?
Ill take another character.
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Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2563
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
Alright! Jana Brown! Woooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Profile: All of Janas hobbies are normal. Theres like nothing that would actually give her an on-island advantage, which is gucci. I honestly dont have much to say about her profile, other than that its pretty darn good, barring some tonal stuff and detailing blah blah blah.
Pregame: None!
Island: Some!
So, Jana wakes up in the barn, and her whole reaction to being put on murder island is pretty goddamned realistic. Like, shes like Why me?????????????????????? : ( when a lot of V2ers were like oh boy murder time is fun time!, and its really a breath of fresh air (along with Justin who I also read. Dan and Bryan (the handler), u da real mvps.). She stumbles across Greg Moyers corpse (Greg Moyer sidenote: He is great, and his death made me feel feelings.), and shes like oh for fucks sake, just kill me. and shes all sad and stuff. THIS IS GOOOOD! Like, other V2ers wouldve like, licked Gregory, I dunno; but Jana has a pretty reasonable reaction to a corpse with its head impaled on a hook. Sera Wingfield pops, in fresh from shooting a twelve-year-old and is all like That can be arranged. Oh Sera. Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh Sera, you something. Like, Seras already been read, but I am immediately bothered. In one post she goes from Oh jeez, I dont really like shooting people to Wow, threatening to shoot Jana is entertaining! (also it says Sera wasn't really looking forward to pulling the trigger again. Still, she had to admit to herself... it was sort of exciting, in a weird way. V2, what is with all your people who get, ahem, excited by murder? grumblegrumblegrumble)
Anyways, back to Jana. Shes like wait no dont shoot me. and Seras like I figured. You should be careful what you wish for and jesus Ive only read two posts from each kid so far but I like Jana so much more than Sera. Jana acts like a real person, and Seras just being like unrealistically ominous and creepy GRUMBLEGRUMBLEGRUMBLE. The two spend the rest of the thread talking. Sera acts like an emotionless psychopath sexy manipulative V2 character (there are so many of them whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy), and Jana acts like a normal person. I like Jana much more than Sera. As an example, Seras killed a Brandon, and so as an explanation (read: lie), she says that Brandon and Adam (Amato, who also died) tried to rape her, and then she says Adam was hot. Jana responds by thinking what the fuck he tried to rape you why would you say that?. Jana is good. Jana is very good. (Sera sidenote: I dont really get why she had to make up the rape story, when she literally killed Brandon in self-defense. Like, Brandon literally shot her why does she need to lie about this?)
Sera sidenote: "I'm really sorry," she stated flatly, "But I gave up back when I got shot in the leg while two guys argued over which one wanted to fuck me first." Sera, this literally happens to you in a few threads and youre perfectly fine with it, u inconsistent person.
The duo move on to the park, where they run into Kevin Kaputsiak. SOTF needs more people named Kevin. Kaputsiaks first post has him thinking about sex, so thats not a good sign. Kevin thinks that Sera has some real issues. Im with you, Kevin. (Hes actually turning out to be decent so far but the MATTY BOY writeup doesnt bode well for him.) OH KEVIN CALLS SERA OUT FOR BEING A V2 MANIPULATIVE GIRL CHARACTER YOU ARE THE BEST KEVIN! (my dogs name is kevin too i like him). Zilyas here now, and shes tired. Me too, Zilya, me too. She sees the group and runs towards them, but finds herself in the middle of a park. According to Mitsuko, this is ironic. *purses lips* mkay then. Sera and Kevin do stuff and there is no such thing as a posting order and then JOHN MUTHAFUCKIN DAVIES is here, and hes sure something. Jana is wary of there being so many people in this thread, because one of them might be a killer. Jana is smart. John does some John stuff and oh god im only done the first page of this thread (frog screeching).
Zilya wanders off. Bye Zilya! Kevins like who the fuck are you? at John and Janas like ????????????? at John and John acts like a bad anime character. I actually love John so much you dont understand.
......
.....
....
...
HOLY SHIT
I LOVE JANA!
Jana thought that maybe John was suffering some kind of intense mental condition in light of the program.
)))))))))))))))))) jana u r good!
John does stuff and Kevin does stuff and Sera does stuff. From John and Kevins posts it seems like John/Kevin are pretty close, but in Seras post it says that Johns out of hearing distance while shes standing right next to Kevin so I dont know what the fuck is happening. I think John leaves now, but theres no exit tag so Ive got not clue. Sera and Kevin talk a lot and Janas kinda left in the dust because THERE IS NO POST ORDER (frog screeches). Rob and Matt show up and confusing stuff happens and Kevin dies and now Sera and Jana are hangin with Matt now I guess. fuck, i dunno. Next thread (help)!
Janas being creeped out by our dear-old sex maniac Matt. (also theyre at the school but it blew Zilya up and now there is no school). Matt says creepy stuff, and THEN he says lets go inside, whats the worst that could happen? Ill tell you what, Matt: You getting murderfucked/fuckmurdered. Kayla Ravoy shows up and is like hello im unarmed dont kill me and Matts all like TELL ME WHY I SHOULDNT JUST SHOOT YOU RIGHT NOW, YOU FUCKING BITCH!?. Jana, being the only sane and normal person in the group, is confused by Matts actions. Me too, Jana, me too. Janas like what the fuck, Matt? and Seras like YES SHOOT HER MATT DO IT NOW!, and Jana is the only person in this group who I dont hate. Kaylas pretty good (shes getting inactive killed right now so shes not as good as OG Kayla). Jana is my shining light in the sea of whatthefuck that is V2.
Sera proceeds to claim that Kayla is Mariavel Varella.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Jm_eUQSYAk
This is how I feel right now.
Janas like maybe shes not Mariavel tho dont shoot her 4 heck sake and then Matt shoots Kayla.
For fucks sake Matt
hnngggggg
Matt starts being weirdly aggressive to Jana and then Janas like get the fuck away from me you fucking shitstain why did you shoot her what the fuck Matt. Jana is the audience surrogate right now, and I cannot overstate how much more I like Jana than the rest of her group. Matt and Sera are dumb and Jana leaves. Good job, Jana. After Jana leaves, Sera and Matt fuck, because they are dumb. Jana is not dumb.
Janas next thread is a oneshot where she reminisces about Matt/Sera being doofuses, thinks about her family, and finds out shes in the final ten. Also the ground says MOM. Its a solid thread, I guess.
Janas last thread now!
Oh, Mariavels here.
fuck.
well fine.
Jana walks in during the middle of Rob Adams and Mariavel VarellaalleraV levairaM having a big ol gunfight. She hides in some bushes, and then for some reason decides to stand up and run away. I can already tell this wont end well for Jana.
Yup
I was right.
nmie nrv fdjkzth45u d y545 uygvdoiwjkakl cj,M;POi9e90IIOFNDJKNDujidahd 8r
So she ends up running right past Rob, and Robs like YIKES! and he shoots her. Her last thoughts are about her family, which is nice, I guess. Theres a proto-meanwhile thing, where her brother is sad and stuff. Her death was pretty anticlimactic, but I cant say I disliked it.
Conclusion: Jana is a good character who spends most of her time surrounded by bad characters. She manages to stay consistent throughout, which directly contrasts like almost all of the rest of V2. Jana herself was enjoyable, but the characters she spent her time with brought her down from fulfilling her true potential.
A N O T H E R 1 !
Profile: All of Janas hobbies are normal. Theres like nothing that would actually give her an on-island advantage, which is gucci. I honestly dont have much to say about her profile, other than that its pretty darn good, barring some tonal stuff and detailing blah blah blah.
Pregame: None!
Island: Some!
So, Jana wakes up in the barn, and her whole reaction to being put on murder island is pretty goddamned realistic. Like, shes like Why me?????????????????????? : ( when a lot of V2ers were like oh boy murder time is fun time!, and its really a breath of fresh air (along with Justin who I also read. Dan and Bryan (the handler), u da real mvps.). She stumbles across Greg Moyers corpse (Greg Moyer sidenote: He is great, and his death made me feel feelings.), and shes like oh for fucks sake, just kill me. and shes all sad and stuff. THIS IS GOOOOD! Like, other V2ers wouldve like, licked Gregory, I dunno; but Jana has a pretty reasonable reaction to a corpse with its head impaled on a hook. Sera Wingfield pops, in fresh from shooting a twelve-year-old and is all like That can be arranged. Oh Sera. Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh Sera, you something. Like, Seras already been read, but I am immediately bothered. In one post she goes from Oh jeez, I dont really like shooting people to Wow, threatening to shoot Jana is entertaining! (also it says Sera wasn't really looking forward to pulling the trigger again. Still, she had to admit to herself... it was sort of exciting, in a weird way. V2, what is with all your people who get, ahem, excited by murder? grumblegrumblegrumble)
Anyways, back to Jana. Shes like wait no dont shoot me. and Seras like I figured. You should be careful what you wish for and jesus Ive only read two posts from each kid so far but I like Jana so much more than Sera. Jana acts like a real person, and Seras just being like unrealistically ominous and creepy GRUMBLEGRUMBLEGRUMBLE. The two spend the rest of the thread talking. Sera acts like an emotionless psychopath sexy manipulative V2 character (there are so many of them whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy), and Jana acts like a normal person. I like Jana much more than Sera. As an example, Seras killed a Brandon, and so as an explanation (read: lie), she says that Brandon and Adam (Amato, who also died) tried to rape her, and then she says Adam was hot. Jana responds by thinking what the fuck he tried to rape you why would you say that?. Jana is good. Jana is very good. (Sera sidenote: I dont really get why she had to make up the rape story, when she literally killed Brandon in self-defense. Like, Brandon literally shot her why does she need to lie about this?)
Sera sidenote: "I'm really sorry," she stated flatly, "But I gave up back when I got shot in the leg while two guys argued over which one wanted to fuck me first." Sera, this literally happens to you in a few threads and youre perfectly fine with it, u inconsistent person.
The duo move on to the park, where they run into Kevin Kaputsiak. SOTF needs more people named Kevin. Kaputsiaks first post has him thinking about sex, so thats not a good sign. Kevin thinks that Sera has some real issues. Im with you, Kevin. (Hes actually turning out to be decent so far but the MATTY BOY writeup doesnt bode well for him.) OH KEVIN CALLS SERA OUT FOR BEING A V2 MANIPULATIVE GIRL CHARACTER YOU ARE THE BEST KEVIN! (my dogs name is kevin too i like him). Zilyas here now, and shes tired. Me too, Zilya, me too. She sees the group and runs towards them, but finds herself in the middle of a park. According to Mitsuko, this is ironic. *purses lips* mkay then. Sera and Kevin do stuff and there is no such thing as a posting order and then JOHN MUTHAFUCKIN DAVIES is here, and hes sure something. Jana is wary of there being so many people in this thread, because one of them might be a killer. Jana is smart. John does some John stuff and oh god im only done the first page of this thread (frog screeching).
Zilya wanders off. Bye Zilya! Kevins like who the fuck are you? at John and Janas like ????????????? at John and John acts like a bad anime character. I actually love John so much you dont understand.
......
.....
....
...
HOLY SHIT
I LOVE JANA!
Jana thought that maybe John was suffering some kind of intense mental condition in light of the program.
)))))))))))))))))) jana u r good!John does stuff and Kevin does stuff and Sera does stuff. From John and Kevins posts it seems like John/Kevin are pretty close, but in Seras post it says that Johns out of hearing distance while shes standing right next to Kevin so I dont know what the fuck is happening. I think John leaves now, but theres no exit tag so Ive got not clue. Sera and Kevin talk a lot and Janas kinda left in the dust because THERE IS NO POST ORDER (frog screeches). Rob and Matt show up and confusing stuff happens and Kevin dies and now Sera and Jana are hangin with Matt now I guess. fuck, i dunno. Next thread (help)!
Janas being creeped out by our dear-old sex maniac Matt. (also theyre at the school but it blew Zilya up and now there is no school). Matt says creepy stuff, and THEN he says lets go inside, whats the worst that could happen? Ill tell you what, Matt: You getting murderfucked/fuckmurdered. Kayla Ravoy shows up and is like hello im unarmed dont kill me and Matts all like TELL ME WHY I SHOULDNT JUST SHOOT YOU RIGHT NOW, YOU FUCKING BITCH!?. Jana, being the only sane and normal person in the group, is confused by Matts actions. Me too, Jana, me too. Janas like what the fuck, Matt? and Seras like YES SHOOT HER MATT DO IT NOW!, and Jana is the only person in this group who I dont hate. Kaylas pretty good (shes getting inactive killed right now so shes not as good as OG Kayla). Jana is my shining light in the sea of whatthefuck that is V2.
Sera proceeds to claim that Kayla is Mariavel Varella.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Jm_eUQSYAk
This is how I feel right now.
Janas like maybe shes not Mariavel tho dont shoot her 4 heck sake and then Matt shoots Kayla.
For fucks sake Matt
hnngggggg
Matt starts being weirdly aggressive to Jana and then Janas like get the fuck away from me you fucking shitstain why did you shoot her what the fuck Matt. Jana is the audience surrogate right now, and I cannot overstate how much more I like Jana than the rest of her group. Matt and Sera are dumb and Jana leaves. Good job, Jana. After Jana leaves, Sera and Matt fuck, because they are dumb. Jana is not dumb.
Janas next thread is a oneshot where she reminisces about Matt/Sera being doofuses, thinks about her family, and finds out shes in the final ten. Also the ground says MOM. Its a solid thread, I guess.
Janas last thread now!
Oh, Mariavels here.
fuck.
well fine.
Jana walks in during the middle of Rob Adams and Mariavel VarellaalleraV levairaM having a big ol gunfight. She hides in some bushes, and then for some reason decides to stand up and run away. I can already tell this wont end well for Jana.
Yup
I was right.
nmie nrv fdjkzth45u d y545 uygvdoiwjkakl cj,M;POi9e90IIOFNDJKNDujidahd 8r
So she ends up running right past Rob, and Robs like YIKES! and he shoots her. Her last thoughts are about her family, which is nice, I guess. Theres a proto-meanwhile thing, where her brother is sad and stuff. Her death was pretty anticlimactic, but I cant say I disliked it.
Conclusion: Jana is a good character who spends most of her time surrounded by bad characters. She manages to stay consistent throughout, which directly contrasts like almost all of the rest of V2. Jana herself was enjoyable, but the characters she spent her time with brought her down from fulfilling her true potential.
A N O T H E R 1 !
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Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2563
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
Just finished John Matthews. His profile isn't too out there. He has some family tragedy in that his father dies and his mother shacks up with someone abusive. She gets a divorce, but send him to live with his cop aunt whom he loves. Moving on.
Pregame he doesn't do much.
Island he doesn't do much. He quickly meets Ricky, Jackie and Gail and the others are very strong, much stronger than him. Some OOC notes indicate that he's not reading the posts of his thread partners and he has to go back and change his post to be more in line with what is happening. He really fails to connect with the others when they are talking about their lives and comes off as distant and kind of self-absorbed. Special mention that Gail says she has hemophilia and it doesn't appear that anyone with her knows what that means and doesn't ask. Seriously, they should be much more concerned about this information and yet no one is.
Soon Jackie (MVP) meets Kayla, his friend. Super cute. They come upon Felix who infuriatingly finds fresh bacon and waffles in a house to make breakfast. I hate this.
It seems like in pre-game Felix and Kayla dated, Kayla told people he raped her, he says that's a lie, we'll never know the truth [SPOILER FROM THE FUTURE, IT'S A FALSE RAPE ACCUSATION] But when they meet they're ready to throw down when Kayla throws a boomerang at him, misses, and he throws it back, hitting her in the arm.
Jackie is killed in the scuffle with Felix, John tries to revenge-kill him and dies too. Useless til the end.
I'm not going to recommend John. He's a real non-presence for almost his whole game run except for a pretty good death with a passable fight scene. Other than that you'd be better off just reading Jackie who is better and is with John the whole time anyway.
Pregame he doesn't do much.
Island he doesn't do much. He quickly meets Ricky, Jackie and Gail and the others are very strong, much stronger than him. Some OOC notes indicate that he's not reading the posts of his thread partners and he has to go back and change his post to be more in line with what is happening. He really fails to connect with the others when they are talking about their lives and comes off as distant and kind of self-absorbed. Special mention that Gail says she has hemophilia and it doesn't appear that anyone with her knows what that means and doesn't ask. Seriously, they should be much more concerned about this information and yet no one is.
Soon Jackie (MVP) meets Kayla, his friend. Super cute. They come upon Felix who infuriatingly finds fresh bacon and waffles in a house to make breakfast. I hate this.
It seems like in pre-game Felix and Kayla dated, Kayla told people he raped her, he says that's a lie, we'll never know the truth [SPOILER FROM THE FUTURE, IT'S A FALSE RAPE ACCUSATION] But when they meet they're ready to throw down when Kayla throws a boomerang at him, misses, and he throws it back, hitting her in the arm.
Jackie is killed in the scuffle with Felix, John tries to revenge-kill him and dies too. Useless til the end.
I'm not going to recommend John. He's a real non-presence for almost his whole game run except for a pretty good death with a passable fight scene. Other than that you'd be better off just reading Jackie who is better and is with John the whole time anyway.
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Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2563
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
Okay so this kid has two entire threads and the second one has a content warning and involves Walter Smith and Mariavel Variavel. I am very afraid. And holy shit his profile is bad. Lemme just quote it:
"He rarely smiles. When he does, he never does with his mouth open. Due to his background, his teeth are ridicolously yellow, his breath horrible (often due to his occasional consumption of alcohol), and his teeth crooked. Don't ask about the rest of his personal hygiene." (he's 14 btw)
"He can be nice or mean depending on his demanor. His is also known for his scathing and offensive jokes, which he often makes on everyone, including his friends, though he tries to make it clear that he's joking with his friends, though some find it nearly abusive. He despises most teenagers, beleiving himself to be above them."
"He was very precocious as a young man, reading All Quiet on the Western Front at age four, Voltaire at age five, the Communist Manifesto at age six, Mein Kampf at age seven, and etc. Mostly because he loves big words."
"Ironically, his family is currenltly successful. His father is in charge of the "family" business, a very prosperous corporation. His older brother is poised to inherit the business, leaving Li-Jen completely out of it. That business of course, is a very large porn company based in China. (That also translates foreign porn [including Japanese Hentai], and distributes it in China, as well as manufacturing it's own.]"
i could just quote the whole profile but honestly i've been punished enough having to read this once. anyway no pregame and i don't care enough to be remotely grammatical right now
thread 1 starts w/ mariavel and she's being herself. his first post is six very short sentences and one spoken line none of which tells me anything whatsoever about him. mariavel is herself @ him and he says "lovely day isn't it" sarcastically and shes like yeah a lovely day for MURDER haha lets be friends and hes like sure! then he goes inactive. which is a blessing because it means i dont have to read more mariavel. second/last thread he's taken over by TBH who has him try to kill walter for no reason whatsoever and then walter stabs him a lot and i don't care
final thoughts: why did i read this
also final thoughts: give me another
"He rarely smiles. When he does, he never does with his mouth open. Due to his background, his teeth are ridicolously yellow, his breath horrible (often due to his occasional consumption of alcohol), and his teeth crooked. Don't ask about the rest of his personal hygiene." (he's 14 btw)
"He can be nice or mean depending on his demanor. His is also known for his scathing and offensive jokes, which he often makes on everyone, including his friends, though he tries to make it clear that he's joking with his friends, though some find it nearly abusive. He despises most teenagers, beleiving himself to be above them."
"He was very precocious as a young man, reading All Quiet on the Western Front at age four, Voltaire at age five, the Communist Manifesto at age six, Mein Kampf at age seven, and etc. Mostly because he loves big words."
"Ironically, his family is currenltly successful. His father is in charge of the "family" business, a very prosperous corporation. His older brother is poised to inherit the business, leaving Li-Jen completely out of it. That business of course, is a very large porn company based in China. (That also translates foreign porn [including Japanese Hentai], and distributes it in China, as well as manufacturing it's own.]"
i could just quote the whole profile but honestly i've been punished enough having to read this once. anyway no pregame and i don't care enough to be remotely grammatical right now
thread 1 starts w/ mariavel and she's being herself. his first post is six very short sentences and one spoken line none of which tells me anything whatsoever about him. mariavel is herself @ him and he says "lovely day isn't it" sarcastically and shes like yeah a lovely day for MURDER haha lets be friends and hes like sure! then he goes inactive. which is a blessing because it means i dont have to read more mariavel. second/last thread he's taken over by TBH who has him try to kill walter for no reason whatsoever and then walter stabs him a lot and i don't care
final thoughts: why did i read this
also final thoughts: give me another
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Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2563
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
Annabelles hobbies are sports, homemaking, and Jesus. fine. Im gonna call her Banannabelle.
hmmmmmm okay
You know what?
Im just gonna paste some highlights from her physical appearance below this.
- Annabelle Bucchanon is another of those unbelievably good looking ninth graders that possesses the body of a young demi-goddess and the personality of a slight martyr.
-She has a tall, lanky frame of five feet, ten inches and just one hundred and thirty pounds that is constructed of wonderful muscle attained by constant physical activity and a hefty amount of shopping.
-Vertical superior, but mammory inferior is she, (Kermitnote: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?)
-Well rounded with just about everything else, why can't she be gifted with nice breasts too? This is a question she frequently asks herself. (Kermitnote: I also frequently ask myself this.)
-Flaming red curls fall and end at her shoulders, the front strands streaked with bright, bubblegum pink. It's so... well, bubbly.
-Large and rounded are her eyes with their bright blue irises, their shiny color brought ought more-so by a pale complexion so natural to redheads.
-Below the nez, a word Annabelle remembers vaguely from her French class the past year, thin, pale lips rest, although one wouldn't know it due to the mass amount of cotton-candy pink lip gloss applied to them.
-In regard to daily fashion, Annabelle is all about the occasion.
Okay. So...like... If you make literally every sentence all weird and rhythmy, your profile becomes INSTANTLY FUCKING HILARIOUS. Please, just use like, normal words and sentence structure. I know Ive been okay with tonal issues in past v2 profiles but none of them were just this tonally wacky. This couldve been a good appearance section if it were just less flowery.
Her bio is written in the same style as her physical appearance, and its making my bones hurt. MY BONES! For the most part, shes a Mary-Sue, and compared to some character from something that I dont watch. Also, there are rumours that shes a lesbian, which makes her go :( because the only thing shed be lesbian for is Jesus (Jesus is a girl in this scenario OK). Oh, actually, maybe she is a lesbian? Im not suuuuuuuuuure because I skipped most of the profile because it hurts so much to read. SO MUCH PAIN
So, uh, Im getting the impression that Banannabelles gonna go crazy and become a wacky catholic lesbian sex-freak, because honestly, what else could happen?
Pregame: fuck you nerds, im not reading it!))))))))))))))))))
Island:
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
Oh theres less flowery prose now, so thats good.
So, she wakes up and decides not to play. yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Shes in the residential area, so she heads to a house. She has a shower, and, uhm... She smelled of strawberries now; the shampoo she had used the source.
right so hold on a minute. Shampoooooooooooo? why is there soap and shampoo here? whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? How is the islands water-system-whatever/electricity good enough for a fucking shower? fd f df 3 snnoi90 38h help
Oh, now shes okay with killing. Either that or shes gonna use her gun to remove her pimples. Im honestly not sure which.
Gigi Sinclaire shows up, and shes literally just a stereotypical hip teenager from the 60s. I dont like her. According to her theres Psycho (the p is always capitalized) music playing, and thats bad because she cant dance to it. Fuck me. Im honestly so done right now.
This is taken directly from the thread: "She suddenly walked through her home, heading towards the door. It was still extremely quiet, just the way the girl liked it. Not bothering to take anything for protection, the girl simply went to her door and opened the door. "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!! Are you looking to move in???" Annabelle rather shrieked at the auburn haired female on the other side of the street, but then prepared to run in case the girl freaked out with her unseen item that was probably not the cookies the girl hoped that it was. "
honestly what the fuck? hwat?
Gigi says she knows Banannabelle from school even though they went to different fucking schools jesus christ GIGI, and Megami is quick to point that out. Thank you Megami. Banannabelle thinks that the house shes in is her actual house or something i guess? I dont fucking know. She talks to Gigi about how she just redecorated and literally fuck you annabelle honestly i cant handle this.
Someone being crazy can be really good SOTF stuff, but when it comes out of fucking nowhere and isnt explained (and is also dumb), its reeaaaaaalllly bad. I dont know anymore. please help. help me. help me please.
OH LAURA DIESENS HERE. Shes pretty good, so hopefully shell provide enough of a barrier to save me from Banannabelle and Gigi. Some shit that I dont care about happens and then something that I care about FUCKING IMMENSELY happens.
Banannabelle goes upstairs
and
well, her handler describes it as Mild sexual content, but Id like to DISAGREE VERY MUCH
maaaaasstuurbbbbbbaaaaaaaaaaattttiooooooooooooooonnnnnnnn sceeeeeeene! Fuck this. fuck this so bad.
Like, shes a 14-year-old girl! I DONT NEED TO EXPLAIN HOW TERRIBLE AND WRONG THIS IS! FUCKING HELL V2! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? WHY ME? WHY DID I HAVE TO BE THE ONE TO READ THIS? KILL ME
Some bullshit that I dont fucking care about anymore happens and Laura Diesen commits suicide. Im so jealous of Laura right now. I have to keep reading, and she gets to be dead. Id rather be dead than read this.
Gigi dances because shes a 60s teeny-bopper fuck you and Banannabelle has a mental breakdown because shes a lesbian catholic sex-freak (wow i was right!). now shes vomiting. im also vomiting.
Im just gonna stop Annabelle right here. I assume she improves, but my psyche cant take her any more.
Conclusion: KIiIiiIiIIiiIiIIIlLLLLlL MeeEeEEEeee pLeEaAAAaaaasE EnD My SuFfeRiNg
i dont know why Im asking for another one but I am.
hmmmmmm okay
You know what?
Im just gonna paste some highlights from her physical appearance below this.
- Annabelle Bucchanon is another of those unbelievably good looking ninth graders that possesses the body of a young demi-goddess and the personality of a slight martyr.
-She has a tall, lanky frame of five feet, ten inches and just one hundred and thirty pounds that is constructed of wonderful muscle attained by constant physical activity and a hefty amount of shopping.
-Vertical superior, but mammory inferior is she, (Kermitnote: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?)
-Well rounded with just about everything else, why can't she be gifted with nice breasts too? This is a question she frequently asks herself. (Kermitnote: I also frequently ask myself this.)
-Flaming red curls fall and end at her shoulders, the front strands streaked with bright, bubblegum pink. It's so... well, bubbly.
-Large and rounded are her eyes with their bright blue irises, their shiny color brought ought more-so by a pale complexion so natural to redheads.
-Below the nez, a word Annabelle remembers vaguely from her French class the past year, thin, pale lips rest, although one wouldn't know it due to the mass amount of cotton-candy pink lip gloss applied to them.
-In regard to daily fashion, Annabelle is all about the occasion.
Okay. So...like... If you make literally every sentence all weird and rhythmy, your profile becomes INSTANTLY FUCKING HILARIOUS. Please, just use like, normal words and sentence structure. I know Ive been okay with tonal issues in past v2 profiles but none of them were just this tonally wacky. This couldve been a good appearance section if it were just less flowery.
Her bio is written in the same style as her physical appearance, and its making my bones hurt. MY BONES! For the most part, shes a Mary-Sue, and compared to some character from something that I dont watch. Also, there are rumours that shes a lesbian, which makes her go :( because the only thing shed be lesbian for is Jesus (Jesus is a girl in this scenario OK). Oh, actually, maybe she is a lesbian? Im not suuuuuuuuuure because I skipped most of the profile because it hurts so much to read. SO MUCH PAIN
So, uh, Im getting the impression that Banannabelles gonna go crazy and become a wacky catholic lesbian sex-freak, because honestly, what else could happen?
Pregame: fuck you nerds, im not reading it!
))))))))))))))))))Island:
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Oh theres less flowery prose now, so thats good.
So, she wakes up and decides not to play. yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Shes in the residential area, so she heads to a house. She has a shower, and, uhm... She smelled of strawberries now; the shampoo she had used the source.
right so hold on a minute. Shampoooooooooooo? why is there soap and shampoo here? whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? How is the islands water-system-whatever/electricity good enough for a fucking shower? fd f df 3 snnoi90 38h help
Oh, now shes okay with killing. Either that or shes gonna use her gun to remove her pimples. Im honestly not sure which.
Gigi Sinclaire shows up, and shes literally just a stereotypical hip teenager from the 60s. I dont like her. According to her theres Psycho (the p is always capitalized) music playing, and thats bad because she cant dance to it. Fuck me. Im honestly so done right now.
This is taken directly from the thread: "She suddenly walked through her home, heading towards the door. It was still extremely quiet, just the way the girl liked it. Not bothering to take anything for protection, the girl simply went to her door and opened the door. "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!! Are you looking to move in???" Annabelle rather shrieked at the auburn haired female on the other side of the street, but then prepared to run in case the girl freaked out with her unseen item that was probably not the cookies the girl hoped that it was. "
honestly what the fuck? hwat?
Gigi says she knows Banannabelle from school even though they went to different fucking schools jesus christ GIGI, and Megami is quick to point that out. Thank you Megami. Banannabelle thinks that the house shes in is her actual house or something i guess? I dont fucking know. She talks to Gigi about how she just redecorated and literally fuck you annabelle honestly i cant handle this.
Someone being crazy can be really good SOTF stuff, but when it comes out of fucking nowhere and isnt explained (and is also dumb), its reeaaaaaalllly bad. I dont know anymore. please help. help me. help me please.
OH LAURA DIESENS HERE. Shes pretty good, so hopefully shell provide enough of a barrier to save me from Banannabelle and Gigi. Some shit that I dont care about happens and then something that I care about FUCKING IMMENSELY happens.
Banannabelle goes upstairs
and
well, her handler describes it as Mild sexual content, but Id like to DISAGREE VERY MUCH
maaaaasstuurbbbbbbaaaaaaaaaaattttiooooooooooooooonnnnnnnn sceeeeeeene! Fuck this. fuck this so bad.
Like, shes a 14-year-old girl! I DONT NEED TO EXPLAIN HOW TERRIBLE AND WRONG THIS IS! FUCKING HELL V2! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? WHY ME? WHY DID I HAVE TO BE THE ONE TO READ THIS? KILL ME
Some bullshit that I dont fucking care about anymore happens and Laura Diesen commits suicide. Im so jealous of Laura right now. I have to keep reading, and she gets to be dead. Id rather be dead than read this.
Gigi dances because shes a 60s teeny-bopper fuck you and Banannabelle has a mental breakdown because shes a lesbian catholic sex-freak (wow i was right!). now shes vomiting. im also vomiting.
Im just gonna stop Annabelle right here. I assume she improves, but my psyche cant take her any more.
Conclusion: KIiIiiIiIIiiIiIIIlLLLLlL MeeEeEEEeee pLeEaAAAaaaasE EnD My SuFfeRiNg
i dont know why Im asking for another one but I am.
-
Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2563
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
Yugi: Jaime Dibenidetti
Fenris: Brandon Cuthbert
Kermit will get one when he finishes his meat. You can't have pudding if you don't eat your meat.
Fenris: Brandon Cuthbert
Kermit will get one when he finishes his meat. You can't have pudding if you don't eat your meat.
-
Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2563
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
Allllright, so, Adam Amato. Written by Adam Dodd. Iktor asked in a tired haze just how many Adams this kid wrote, and I'm assuming it's just the two. Anyway, let's do the checklist:
South Park picture: check.
From Canada (specifically the greater Toronto area): check.
Loves hockey: check.
IS BASED OFF A REAL PERSON OF THE SAME NAME: check.
Also this kid is 17 and has a full, if thin, goatee. I really want his genes because it would've made growing a beard much easier. Most of the profile is fine - Dodd usually did a good job of writing profiles that, for the version, were very well-fitting and nonabrasive. Everything seems to be in working or-
"Disadvantages: Two of his best friends participated in SOTF v1. One was killed in a horrific lightning accident and one ended up winning. Because of that, Adam's mind likely won't react very well to being placed in a similar situation. People who harbour even a slight dislike for him might come in with guns ablazing."
Can we talk about this for a second?
So Adam Amato was besties with Adam Dodd and some schmuck who died in an 'unfortunate lightning accident' in V1. A little research reveals this to be Andrew Lipson. This is somehow a disadvantage, as well as the terrible, crippling disadvantage of 'people may try to kill him'. Wow, Adam (Amato), you certainly really have it rough, other kids have a one-up on you for sure.
Enough of the profile, time to actually read this guy. There are only two threads so this won't take terribly long.
Today I learned, courtesy of an Ali Grayston post, that AT 'Big Four' member Steve Wilson spent a year as principal of one of the V2 schools. Ooookay (Also rest in peace, Wilson). Anyway, Adam plays next to no role in his first thread, which is a veritable who's who of V2 writers: Megami, Mitsuko, Laz, Dodd, Riser... and some guy named Doink, who gives us the most entertaining post with Kasumi White talking to God/Olmec/Dee Bradley Baker, then waking up to see that she's laying in the graveyard of a church beneath an angel statue.
Adam listens at the door, Ali bitches at Kasumi screaming her head off, R. Kelly throws the first racial slur in the history of the internet, Mariavel pops in to be Mariavel. Adam hears threats of violence in a church (gasp!) and pops up with his gun at the ready, threatening everybody not to blaspheme on God's holy ground or he'll bust a cap in your ass like a good Catholic person.
This goes over like a fart in church (heh) as Edgar rightfully points out how hypocritical Adam's being right now. Mariavel does the same thing right after but with a speech that must take like... 20 seconds in real-time, during which presumably everybody just stays put with their thumbs up their asses. It's cool though, because he sheepishly says 'sorry' and Mariavel actually drops all aggression. Just like that. Also R. Kelly's hiding in the confessional. Get it? He's trapped in the closet.
GET IT!?
R. Kelly comes out of the closet confessional and scares Adam, who assess his weapon, for the SECOND TIME, as a 'formidable weapon' and a 'sniper's pistol'. Twice in one thread, this happens. He then name drops Dodd (making it the second time he's mentioned) and capitalizes every other WORD to show us that he means business and randomly shouts like a tweak.
Mariavel does a songpost. I don't even fucking read it. Back to Adam. Back to talking about Dodd and how he was 'the winner of this damn thing and you would have liked him, he killed twelve people'. Somewhere in this narrative is talk of an escape plan with no real idea of how to do it, and he turns down Mariavel's offer to team up since the announcements oust her as a killer. Oh, and Kasumi White is inactive killed at the end of this thread. Boo.
Adam goes to the mountain ranch where he rapidly switches between panicked and sullen when he meets Sera Wingfield. Also this guy named Brandon Cuthbert shows up but he is VERY difficult to read because... well, he's an except from his first post in Silence and Solitude.
Brandon and Adam get aggressive with one another... and then both go inactive, so Megami just takes over and hastily writes the two to their deaths. Brandon kills Adam, Sera kills Brandon. The end. Adam Amato exists for little more than some pointless aggression and as a vehicle to spread the glorious word of Adam Dodd, winner of V1.
V2, EVERYBODY!
Sigh... I'll take another.
South Park picture: check.
From Canada (specifically the greater Toronto area): check.
Loves hockey: check.
IS BASED OFF A REAL PERSON OF THE SAME NAME: check.
Also this kid is 17 and has a full, if thin, goatee. I really want his genes because it would've made growing a beard much easier. Most of the profile is fine - Dodd usually did a good job of writing profiles that, for the version, were very well-fitting and nonabrasive. Everything seems to be in working or-
"Disadvantages: Two of his best friends participated in SOTF v1. One was killed in a horrific lightning accident and one ended up winning. Because of that, Adam's mind likely won't react very well to being placed in a similar situation. People who harbour even a slight dislike for him might come in with guns ablazing."
Can we talk about this for a second?
So Adam Amato was besties with Adam Dodd and some schmuck who died in an 'unfortunate lightning accident' in V1. A little research reveals this to be Andrew Lipson. This is somehow a disadvantage, as well as the terrible, crippling disadvantage of 'people may try to kill him'. Wow, Adam (Amato), you certainly really have it rough, other kids have a one-up on you for sure.
Enough of the profile, time to actually read this guy. There are only two threads so this won't take terribly long.
Today I learned, courtesy of an Ali Grayston post, that AT 'Big Four' member Steve Wilson spent a year as principal of one of the V2 schools. Ooookay (Also rest in peace, Wilson). Anyway, Adam plays next to no role in his first thread, which is a veritable who's who of V2 writers: Megami, Mitsuko, Laz, Dodd, Riser... and some guy named Doink, who gives us the most entertaining post with Kasumi White talking to God/Olmec/Dee Bradley Baker, then waking up to see that she's laying in the graveyard of a church beneath an angel statue.
Adam listens at the door, Ali bitches at Kasumi screaming her head off, R. Kelly throws the first racial slur in the history of the internet, Mariavel pops in to be Mariavel. Adam hears threats of violence in a church (gasp!) and pops up with his gun at the ready, threatening everybody not to blaspheme on God's holy ground or he'll bust a cap in your ass like a good Catholic person.
This goes over like a fart in church (heh) as Edgar rightfully points out how hypocritical Adam's being right now. Mariavel does the same thing right after but with a speech that must take like... 20 seconds in real-time, during which presumably everybody just stays put with their thumbs up their asses. It's cool though, because he sheepishly says 'sorry' and Mariavel actually drops all aggression. Just like that. Also R. Kelly's hiding in the confessional. Get it? He's trapped in the closet.
GET IT!?
R. Kelly comes out of the closet confessional and scares Adam, who assess his weapon, for the SECOND TIME, as a 'formidable weapon' and a 'sniper's pistol'. Twice in one thread, this happens. He then name drops Dodd (making it the second time he's mentioned) and capitalizes every other WORD to show us that he means business and randomly shouts like a tweak.
Mariavel does a songpost. I don't even fucking read it. Back to Adam. Back to talking about Dodd and how he was 'the winner of this damn thing and you would have liked him, he killed twelve people'. Somewhere in this narrative is talk of an escape plan with no real idea of how to do it, and he turns down Mariavel's offer to team up since the announcements oust her as a killer. Oh, and Kasumi White is inactive killed at the end of this thread. Boo.
Adam goes to the mountain ranch where he rapidly switches between panicked and sullen when he meets Sera Wingfield. Also this guy named Brandon Cuthbert shows up but he is VERY difficult to read because... well, he's an except from his first post in Silence and Solitude.
Brandon and Adam get aggressive with one another... and then both go inactive, so Megami just takes over and hastily writes the two to their deaths. Brandon kills Adam, Sera kills Brandon. The end. Adam Amato exists for little more than some pointless aggression and as a vehicle to spread the glorious word of Adam Dodd, winner of V1.
V2, EVERYBODY!
Sigh... I'll take another.