Nate charged forward. Straight into the breach. Ben could hear it in Nate's voice, something along the lines of an outburst. Of friendly joy. Of pants pissing. Something in between. There was no weapon for Ben to put down. Except maybe his hands. Those drooped a bit to the floor, as his fists relaxed.
Ben didn't like this. He didn't like that he was relaxing. Idling. He didn't like that there were bodies between him and danger. That if it came to action, that if Alvaro looked their way and saw nothing but the chance for flying bullets...
That Ben wouldn't be the one to do what needed to be done. But then, who knew if it would be Nate or Matt filling that role themselves? Ben remembered the things they'd said. He remembered the things he'd said. Problematic, those things. Troubling arguments for the future. Specifically, for their future.
Whatever the camera was catching it probably didn't look that good.
Coming Out Of The Closet
It took Nate a moment to realise what Alvaro was asking, why he was asking it, but he complied and threw the whip to the ground between them.
"It's ok, we're not going to hurt you. You can put the gun down now."
He was trying to smile, to look reassuring, but Alvaro's disturbing visage was making that impossible. His face was an absolute mess, and his words carried a tone that sent something off in Nate's survival instincts. What should've been a harmless misunderstanding and a happy reunion was far from it.
That's right, Nate realised: Alvaro had come up on the announcements. Nate had been thrust into the spot of being face to face with one of those people that he'd dreaded meeting since yesterday morning, dreaded having to decide what was actually the right thing to do, as if he was being challenged to put his words to the test. He hadn't expected it to happen so soon after declaring his plans for Nancy, but it was do or die as far as his diplomatic intentions went.
A lump was forming in his throat.
"Really, you don't have to do anything crazy. It's ok."
You don't have to kill us like the others. You don't have to kill me.
"It's ok, we're not going to hurt you. You can put the gun down now."
He was trying to smile, to look reassuring, but Alvaro's disturbing visage was making that impossible. His face was an absolute mess, and his words carried a tone that sent something off in Nate's survival instincts. What should've been a harmless misunderstanding and a happy reunion was far from it.
That's right, Nate realised: Alvaro had come up on the announcements. Nate had been thrust into the spot of being face to face with one of those people that he'd dreaded meeting since yesterday morning, dreaded having to decide what was actually the right thing to do, as if he was being challenged to put his words to the test. He hadn't expected it to happen so soon after declaring his plans for Nancy, but it was do or die as far as his diplomatic intentions went.
A lump was forming in his throat.
"Really, you don't have to do anything crazy. It's ok."
You don't have to kill us like the others. You don't have to kill me.
"Smile. The world's not ending just yet."
-
Yugikun
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“Good.”
Whatever Matt had was down. That was good. It meant that this could be easier. They wouldn’t fight. They wouldn’t attack. He knew that Scout. Min-Jae had their hands, but he was faithful. They only had their hands. They weren’t going to attack them. They were scared of him, and that was good. And that was bad. He could do this. His finger was where it needed to be. He just had to pull-
A voice - Nate’s - called out to him. He had dropped his weapons as well. But he called. Out to him. Didn’t say his name, but it was friendly. Nice. Like Audrey. Like Danny.
Like Barry.
He had to do this. He knew he had to. Pull the trigger. His finger was there. He just had to-
But he couldn’t. Nate was there. Nate was his friend. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t.
But he had to.
“No. I can’t,” he said, in reply.
He looked up. Looked in Nate’s eyes.
He looked away.
“I have to…”
He trailed off.
Whatever Matt had was down. That was good. It meant that this could be easier. They wouldn’t fight. They wouldn’t attack. He knew that Scout. Min-Jae had their hands, but he was faithful. They only had their hands. They weren’t going to attack them. They were scared of him, and that was good. And that was bad. He could do this. His finger was where it needed to be. He just had to pull-
A voice - Nate’s - called out to him. He had dropped his weapons as well. But he called. Out to him. Didn’t say his name, but it was friendly. Nice. Like Audrey. Like Danny.
Like Barry.
He had to do this. He knew he had to. Pull the trigger. His finger was there. He just had to-
But he couldn’t. Nate was there. Nate was his friend. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t.
But he had to.
“No. I can’t,” he said, in reply.
He looked up. Looked in Nate’s eyes.
He looked away.
“I have to…”
He trailed off.
Matt was looking for a way out. A chance to leave the room, no matter what it was - Alvaro deciding to start with someone who wasn't him, for example - was welcome. For some strange reason, Nate was still trying to talk to him. The reason why escaped him at the moment. Stupidity, maybe, or some kind of hidden death wish neither him nor Ben knew about. He wasn't sure. Either way, he was trying to keep a low profile. Hard to do, considering you could count the number of people in the room on one hand. All he could do now was glance over at Nate and hope he'd figure it out that the time for talking was over. Hell, was there ever a time for talking?
He wasn't too keen on opening his mouth. There had to be some way out. Maybe if he tried to run away, he'd shoot, miss and Ben could tackle him, or..
He eyed the gun Alvaro was holding. He wondered if he was any good with it - or if it was even loaded. There really was only one way to find out, wasn't there? The shittiest game he'd ever played was the one he was currently participating in, really - maybe he'll miss. Maybe you'll get shot in a dark basement.
There was only one way to find out and finding out terrified him.
He wasn't too keen on opening his mouth. There had to be some way out. Maybe if he tried to run away, he'd shoot, miss and Ben could tackle him, or..
He eyed the gun Alvaro was holding. He wondered if he was any good with it - or if it was even loaded. There really was only one way to find out, wasn't there? The shittiest game he'd ever played was the one he was currently participating in, really - maybe he'll miss. Maybe you'll get shot in a dark basement.
There was only one way to find out and finding out terrified him.
So much pain, so much terror. Alvaro's deep eyes of sadness were bringing Nate within an inch of finally breaking out into tears again.
"You really don't," he continued, daring to edge just a step closer to his gun-toting friend. A voice in the back of his own head was screaming that this was crazy, suicidal, that he didn't want to die like this, but he couldn't just run away. Alvaro needed him, and maybe he could just talk him out of it and actually make a difference for once.
"I know that you're scared, and I'm really scared too, but this isn't the answer." He was trying to swallow that lump in his throat still, get it out of the way and get the words to actually come out naturally. "We're your friends, Alvaro; we're going to help fix this and figure this out."
"Whatever you did and why you did it, it's ok. Just..." he wanted to take another step forward, but he couldn't. He was as close as he could manage. "Just put the gun down, please."
"You really don't," he continued, daring to edge just a step closer to his gun-toting friend. A voice in the back of his own head was screaming that this was crazy, suicidal, that he didn't want to die like this, but he couldn't just run away. Alvaro needed him, and maybe he could just talk him out of it and actually make a difference for once.
"I know that you're scared, and I'm really scared too, but this isn't the answer." He was trying to swallow that lump in his throat still, get it out of the way and get the words to actually come out naturally. "We're your friends, Alvaro; we're going to help fix this and figure this out."
"Whatever you did and why you did it, it's ok. Just..." he wanted to take another step forward, but he couldn't. He was as close as he could manage. "Just put the gun down, please."
"Smile. The world's not ending just yet."
-
Yugikun
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A step back. A gun pushed further forward.
“No… I already told you.”
But he kept talking. To Alvaro. Nate was trying to get closer to him. Trying to get him to stop. Alvaro wanted that. Alvaro didn’t want to do this. Nate was a friend. A person on the soccer team. Someone who congratulated him when he got captain. Someone who went to the cafe, once or twice. A friend. A good one. He didn’t want to do this. Nate was a friend. Everybody out there he knew. He didn’t want to kill. He didn’t want to be here. He didn’t want to be on this island. He didn’t want to be playing his game.
But he was.
And he had killed.
And he had been attacked.
And everyone knew.
His hands were shaking. He looked down, up again.
His eyes showed anger.
“Stop it,” he said, strain on his voice.
“Please.”
“No… I already told you.”
But he kept talking. To Alvaro. Nate was trying to get closer to him. Trying to get him to stop. Alvaro wanted that. Alvaro didn’t want to do this. Nate was a friend. A person on the soccer team. Someone who congratulated him when he got captain. Someone who went to the cafe, once or twice. A friend. A good one. He didn’t want to do this. Nate was a friend. Everybody out there he knew. He didn’t want to kill. He didn’t want to be here. He didn’t want to be on this island. He didn’t want to be playing his game.
But he was.
And he had killed.
And he had been attacked.
And everyone knew.
His hands were shaking. He looked down, up again.
His eyes showed anger.
“Stop it,” he said, strain on his voice.
“Please.”
Was this working at all? Alvaro was flinching, growing angrier, growing more dangerous, but Nate could've sworn he heard something in his words that said to keep going. That somewhere in there, somewhere behind the gun wielding danger in front of him, was his friend who could still be reached. Real or not, it encouraged Nate to keep going.
How could he, though? Nate was no master negotiator; cheering a friend up after a bad day was one thing, but Alvaro was holding them all in a life or death situation after no doubt going through some of his own. What were the words for that kind of scenario?
He had been silent for too long, hadn't given Alvaro a response to defuse the tension. He had to keep talking, he realised, just so that Alvaro didn't get jumpy enough to twitch his finger and end everything. As long as Nate could keep Alvaro from doing that, there was still a chance to save him.
"Alvaro..." he said, still searching for what to say next. "I don't care what you've done, and I really hope you don't want to shoot me. Please, please don't." he would've stepped forwards again, but he couldn't bring himself to: there was too much danger in it. "I know you don't know what to do, and that's ok, neither do any of us, but we'll figure out a better way out of this. Just, please, give us a chance."
How could he, though? Nate was no master negotiator; cheering a friend up after a bad day was one thing, but Alvaro was holding them all in a life or death situation after no doubt going through some of his own. What were the words for that kind of scenario?
He had been silent for too long, hadn't given Alvaro a response to defuse the tension. He had to keep talking, he realised, just so that Alvaro didn't get jumpy enough to twitch his finger and end everything. As long as Nate could keep Alvaro from doing that, there was still a chance to save him.
"Alvaro..." he said, still searching for what to say next. "I don't care what you've done, and I really hope you don't want to shoot me. Please, please don't." he would've stepped forwards again, but he couldn't bring himself to: there was too much danger in it. "I know you don't know what to do, and that's ok, neither do any of us, but we'll figure out a better way out of this. Just, please, give us a chance."
"Smile. The world's not ending just yet."
-
Yugikun
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“No. You don’t understand.”
He knew what he had to do.
He knew that he had to do it.
He knew how easy it would be.
He knew that he had to be brave.
He just had to curl his finger. Then he could…
Then he could…
No.
He couldn’t.
He couldn’t do this.
He couldn’t kill Nate.
But he had to, didn’t he?
He didn’t know.
“I-”
The syllable forced itself out of his throat.
He knew what he had to do.
He knew that he had to do it.
He knew how easy it would be.
He knew that he had to be brave.
He just had to curl his finger. Then he could…
Then he could…
No.
He couldn’t.
He couldn’t do this.
He couldn’t kill Nate.
But he had to, didn’t he?
He didn’t know.
“I-”
The syllable forced itself out of his throat.
If Nate's plan were to prolong their deaths, it was working astonishingly well. At this rate it might take Alvaro an hour or more to actually work up the courage to kill them all, whereas before he could likely have done it in ten minutes or so. If he weren't so inclined against making loud noises in a situation such as this, he'd have started clapping. He really needed that extra time to think about all the things he wouldn't be doing with his life, having been gun downed in a dank basement and whatnot. He wanted to say something. He really did.
And so he did.
"Nate, just, ah.. stop. Please."
Matt sounded nervous more than anything else. In a situation like that, he couldn't really be angry at anyone except for Alvaro - of course, that anger was mixed with fear more than anything else. He was trying to avoid speaking up - less chance that he'd be the first to die. More of a shot at running away. At getting out of here. Of course, each moment they spent here was a moment closer to Alvaro finally deciding to start.
He was hoping it wouldn't come to that, but he knew better.
And so he did.
"Nate, just, ah.. stop. Please."
Matt sounded nervous more than anything else. In a situation like that, he couldn't really be angry at anyone except for Alvaro - of course, that anger was mixed with fear more than anything else. He was trying to avoid speaking up - less chance that he'd be the first to die. More of a shot at running away. At getting out of here. Of course, each moment they spent here was a moment closer to Alvaro finally deciding to start.
He was hoping it wouldn't come to that, but he knew better.
Wasn't much left to figure out here. Nothing left to say. Empty space, empty eyes between the two of them as Ben slowly began to step forward. Pull his profile out from behind Nate's. He had to look his enemy in the eyes, but he already knew what he was going to see. It was all too familiar, looking into the eyes of the bullied. The bullies. Nothing. A void filled by a distant, hollow tapping. Morse for 'please please please stop it'. There was nothing left to stop. The finger on that gun's trigger was already pulled, again and again. Ben didn't fucking know why, but he knew that he had once known the boy whose hand was ready to end their lives. He no longer knew.
Ben began to walk forward. Something like adrenaline or anger was the spur to his boot, steadying each step. Aching, creaky steps closer to the gun.
Nate was still in the firing line. Ben had to get him out, at all costs.
"Don't do it." Ben wasn't even sure where to look when he said that. He could look death in the eyes, maybe. But anything worth looking at there had been gone, maybe even before it had produced the death of a man. Barry Banks. Gone. Ben Fields. Soon to follow. Hm. His body begged him to rebel, to flee. But Ben didn't know his body anymore. He only knew how to march forward.
Last words were supposed to be glorious. Awesome, manly. Ben knew that.
But he didn't know what else to say.
Nate was close, just a hunk of shoulder between them. If Ben could trust his own reflexes he could still get Nate out. But he didn't know if he could trust his body, the crumbling remnants of it. He hadn't even meant to shake his head weakly, indecisively. Hadn't meant to show weakness as he made the last, irreverent attempt at negotiation. But he had.
His eyes didn't waver at the last second, they didn't betray his mortality. Ben met Alvaro on that battlefield. Reflected him on it.
"... Don't do it."
It wasn't the right thing to say.
Ben began to walk forward. Something like adrenaline or anger was the spur to his boot, steadying each step. Aching, creaky steps closer to the gun.
Nate was still in the firing line. Ben had to get him out, at all costs.
"Don't do it." Ben wasn't even sure where to look when he said that. He could look death in the eyes, maybe. But anything worth looking at there had been gone, maybe even before it had produced the death of a man. Barry Banks. Gone. Ben Fields. Soon to follow. Hm. His body begged him to rebel, to flee. But Ben didn't know his body anymore. He only knew how to march forward.
Last words were supposed to be glorious. Awesome, manly. Ben knew that.
But he didn't know what else to say.
Nate was close, just a hunk of shoulder between them. If Ben could trust his own reflexes he could still get Nate out. But he didn't know if he could trust his body, the crumbling remnants of it. He hadn't even meant to shake his head weakly, indecisively. Hadn't meant to show weakness as he made the last, irreverent attempt at negotiation. But he had.
His eyes didn't waver at the last second, they didn't betray his mortality. Ben met Alvaro on that battlefield. Reflected him on it.
"... Don't do it."
It wasn't the right thing to say.
-
Yugikun
- Posts: 985
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He didn’t know.
Nate was in front of him. He knew that. He could see that. The gun was in Alvaro’s hands. He had power here. He could shoot. He could kill Nate. He had to. He had to do this. But he couldn’t. Nate was there. Nate was a friend. He could trust Nate. On the soccer field and in the cafeteria and with school and maybe once or twice at the cafe he knew that Nate was his friend. His teammate. Someone he could trust. A friendly face who was always looking out for him when he wasn’t feeling as good as he could and someone who was always willing to listen to what he had to say. A good person. Someone who was… helping him. Someone telling the truth. A person who was willing to look past the fact that Alvaro had killed someone and a person who was willing to help him.
The gun was in Alvaro’s hands.
He could shoot.
He had to.
But he couldn’t. No. He wouldn’t. He wasn’t going to shoot, he wasn’t going to-
A step in the water jolted Alvaro back. Someone was walking. Towards him. The face was there and the name was there and he could tell who it was but he couldn’t because he was walking towards him and he hadn’t said anything and he was big and Alvaro didn’t know what he was going to do but he did it was going to be Min-jae it was going to be Scout it was going to be Jonathan all over again and he didn’t know what to do but he knew that he just had to do something do something anything to get him out of here out of this situation get power back regain control he just had to do something do what he had to and do something and-
His finger pulled the trigger.
Nate was in front of him. He knew that. He could see that. The gun was in Alvaro’s hands. He had power here. He could shoot. He could kill Nate. He had to. He had to do this. But he couldn’t. Nate was there. Nate was a friend. He could trust Nate. On the soccer field and in the cafeteria and with school and maybe once or twice at the cafe he knew that Nate was his friend. His teammate. Someone he could trust. A friendly face who was always looking out for him when he wasn’t feeling as good as he could and someone who was always willing to listen to what he had to say. A good person. Someone who was… helping him. Someone telling the truth. A person who was willing to look past the fact that Alvaro had killed someone and a person who was willing to help him.
The gun was in Alvaro’s hands.
He could shoot.
He had to.
But he couldn’t. No. He wouldn’t. He wasn’t going to shoot, he wasn’t going to-
A step in the water jolted Alvaro back. Someone was walking. Towards him. The face was there and the name was there and he could tell who it was but he couldn’t because he was walking towards him and he hadn’t said anything and he was big and Alvaro didn’t know what he was going to do but he did it was going to be Min-jae it was going to be Scout it was going to be Jonathan all over again and he didn’t know what to do but he knew that he just had to do something do something anything to get him out of here out of this situation get power back regain control he just had to do something do what he had to and do something and-
His finger pulled the trigger.
A glimmer of hope. He seemed to be reaching Alvaro, even if he hadn't lowered the gun. There was that hesitation in his voice, that brief pause, that confirmed just how much Alvaro didn't want to do this, how he wasn't about to end Nate's life. Talking to him was working.
Then Matt ruined everything.
It was like being at a swim meet, where he was actually in the lead for once. As his head broke the water he could catch a glimpse of the other lanes, see that he was out in front. He knew that they hadn't overtaken him, because he'd seen them all trailing behind earlier. He was actually going to win for once, only for someone to come out from nowhere at the last second and steal his victory. A crushing, but not unfamiliar feeling.
This was like that, except now there were guns involved.
He wanted to turn around, tell Matt to shut up with as much annoyance as he could put into words, but there was no time. Alvaro's face steeled as his finger twitched, reaffirming the gun's readiness to kill. He could hear Ben in the background, but Nate's attention was elsewhere.
Oh God, this was it, wasn't it? Alvaro really was going to do it.
That instinct to run was kicking in again, but it was no good. His legs had turned to stone, and sweat was beading onto his brow as Alvaro's finger inched closer to pulling the trigger.
He couldn't do it. He couldn't look at Alvaro as he shot him, so he squeezed his eyes tight.
There was the unmistakable sound of bullets spraying, as he was lifted off his feet.
Then Matt ruined everything.
It was like being at a swim meet, where he was actually in the lead for once. As his head broke the water he could catch a glimpse of the other lanes, see that he was out in front. He knew that they hadn't overtaken him, because he'd seen them all trailing behind earlier. He was actually going to win for once, only for someone to come out from nowhere at the last second and steal his victory. A crushing, but not unfamiliar feeling.
This was like that, except now there were guns involved.
He wanted to turn around, tell Matt to shut up with as much annoyance as he could put into words, but there was no time. Alvaro's face steeled as his finger twitched, reaffirming the gun's readiness to kill. He could hear Ben in the background, but Nate's attention was elsewhere.
Oh God, this was it, wasn't it? Alvaro really was going to do it.
That instinct to run was kicking in again, but it was no good. His legs had turned to stone, and sweat was beading onto his brow as Alvaro's finger inched closer to pulling the trigger.
He couldn't do it. He couldn't look at Alvaro as he shot him, so he squeezed his eyes tight.
There was the unmistakable sound of bullets spraying, as he was lifted off his feet.
"Smile. The world's not ending just yet."
One hand engulfing the tininess of Nate's arm. Ben pulled with all his strength.
It took something like a second or an eternity. Just long enough to feel the pain. Ben's arm had crumpled, muscle and bone, while he'd forced Nate out of the way. Turned out that bullets broke the skin handily, and broke everything else. He'd been shot. No heroics, no one liners. There had been words, but words had failed. All the conversation had been had become bullets, and those bullets now found a home in Ben's arm.
He tried to keep his body tense. Battle ready. His wounds were nervous, betrayed his weakness. Strength failed him, and he fell backwards. A dead-weight impact on his ass, barely felt.
Adrenaline was familiar. Comfortable like a blanket. Something to bite on, like the surgery patients of yore. Anesthesia to keep him from screaming.
It took something like a second or an eternity. Just long enough to feel the pain. Ben's arm had crumpled, muscle and bone, while he'd forced Nate out of the way. Turned out that bullets broke the skin handily, and broke everything else. He'd been shot. No heroics, no one liners. There had been words, but words had failed. All the conversation had been had become bullets, and those bullets now found a home in Ben's arm.
He tried to keep his body tense. Battle ready. His wounds were nervous, betrayed his weakness. Strength failed him, and he fell backwards. A dead-weight impact on his ass, barely felt.
Adrenaline was familiar. Comfortable like a blanket. Something to bite on, like the surgery patients of yore. Anesthesia to keep him from screaming.
Gunshots. Deafening in the cramped basement, though he would not have listened to what anyone was saying if there was anything to say. Matt turned around, not bothering to see who'd been shot - just a few flashes in the dark, stray bullets hitting the walls. He ran as fast as he possibly could - faster than he'd ever ran in his life - out of that room. Out of the basement, up the stairs, away from Alvaro. As far away as he could get from him, the better.
He almost felt surprised to see light when he left Alvaro, Ben, Nate - and the corpse - behind. The time spent standing there waiting for him to pull the trigger.. for Nate to stop talking, stop prolonging his death, felt like an eternity. As far as he knew, Nate was dead. Ben was dead. Alvaro could be right on top of him, for all he knew. He might be next. He stopped thinking. He might be next.
He kept running.
((Matt Moradi hasn't got time for this. ))
He almost felt surprised to see light when he left Alvaro, Ben, Nate - and the corpse - behind. The time spent standing there waiting for him to pull the trigger.. for Nate to stop talking, stop prolonging his death, felt like an eternity. As far as he knew, Nate was dead. Ben was dead. Alvaro could be right on top of him, for all he knew. He might be next. He stopped thinking. He might be next.
He kept running.
((Matt Moradi hasn't got time for this. ))
He was falling backwards for a moment. Had he been shot? Was this the end of it? A pointless end to a pointless strategy? He couldn't feel anything, just his feet off the ground.
Right: he couldn't feel anything.
He hit the ground hard, but that was the only pain he was feeling. There was nothing that he imagined a bullet would feel like, or anything at all outside the sound of his heart pounding in his ears. Bullets had definitely been fired, but he hadn't been hit.
He looked around, caught sight of Ben about where he'd been. He'd saved his life, Nate realised, and now he was bleeding.
Oh dear God no.
He looked back up at Alvaro, still holding the gun with a maniac look in his eyes. He looked back at Ben, who really was wounded. Looked at Alvaro again, definitely holding the gun that had done it and had definitely been about to do it to him.
Conscious thought switched off; the flight response took over and kicked into overdrive. His legs finally found some strength as he scrambled away from the carnage in front of him, ducking out the door without even thinking about whether or not Alvaro could shoot him with his back turned. He knew Ben was still behind him, still with Alvaro and his gun, but he couldn't stop himself as his legs carried him far away as fast as they could.
Tears were finally streaming down his face again as he ran for his life like the coward he was.
((Nate Turner continued in Judas))
Right: he couldn't feel anything.
He hit the ground hard, but that was the only pain he was feeling. There was nothing that he imagined a bullet would feel like, or anything at all outside the sound of his heart pounding in his ears. Bullets had definitely been fired, but he hadn't been hit.
He looked around, caught sight of Ben about where he'd been. He'd saved his life, Nate realised, and now he was bleeding.
Oh dear God no.
He looked back up at Alvaro, still holding the gun with a maniac look in his eyes. He looked back at Ben, who really was wounded. Looked at Alvaro again, definitely holding the gun that had done it and had definitely been about to do it to him.
Conscious thought switched off; the flight response took over and kicked into overdrive. His legs finally found some strength as he scrambled away from the carnage in front of him, ducking out the door without even thinking about whether or not Alvaro could shoot him with his back turned. He knew Ben was still behind him, still with Alvaro and his gun, but he couldn't stop himself as his legs carried him far away as fast as they could.
Tears were finally streaming down his face again as he ran for his life like the coward he was.
((Nate Turner continued in Judas))
"Smile. The world's not ending just yet."