The Past Has Passed Away

[Super Weegee]

Well, this turned into a shitshow real fast. Julien seems real eager to start a fight over Faith showing concern for him. Why the hell shouldn't she be concerned about him accepting his fate and thinking his life isn't worth anything? That's like getting pissed at a doctor for trying to give medical advice to their patient. What a dick.

Regardless of how he thought about it, Matthew listened as Faith predictably got more pissed and argued with Julien. When she mentioned how they could try to escape, Matthew tightened his lips and stopped himself from interrupting, letting her finish the rest of her rant. She really thinks they would be able to get off this rock in the middle of nowhere? Asides from removing their collars, he was drawing a blank as to where they would even start.

He only had to kill one person. Just one, and that would be it. It sucks, but it has to happen.

Matthew caught the rock again and stood up to try to get Faith and Julien's attention, only pausing for a second when Danya's voice came through the speakers. He decided to ignore it as he spoke.

"Alright, alright, cool it!"

He looked over at Julien, crossing his arms.

"Julien, it's true that only one of us is going to make it out of here alive, but you don't need to throw a hissy fit because Faith doesn't magically know about you not caring about your own life. She's worried about you, and it seems to me that you're just looking for an excuse to argue with her."

Turning his head to Faith, he continued.

"I don't want to kill anybody either, Faith, but trying to escape by ourselves is suicide. Our best chance of rescue is making a bonfire or causing a big enough fire in the forest, but unless one of us is willing to get our heads blown off, that isn't happening."

He paused as he took a deep breath and looked towards the ground.

"At the end of the day, all that really matters is how much of our humanity we decide to throw away."

[Endellion]

Just a day or so ago, he might have seethed in anger at what they said to him. But a lot could change even in such a short time, and he was hurting too much for any real anger. Disgust, though, was a different matter. "One of us, huh?"

Julien laughed.

He laughed until he was wheezing, ribs and head setting alight inside.

"Oh..." He wiped his eyes. "Ah, fuck, man, you're really tearing me up here with this. Just one. What a load of shit." The hate bled into his voice more and more as he carried on talking. "The people keeping us here are insane, and they clearly want everyone to stay in line, so I see no reason why they would stop at just one. That's not getting into if it even works. Wasting someone's life on mights and maybes is sick."

Again, he thought of Blaise and Dante came to mind, and again he pushed them down into some place his conscious mind could not explore. He was being crushed as it was, and he did not want to think about how all that love would end in a knife if he could help it.

"And moving on," he turned his head and looked at Faith, "I love you, I really do, but you've, ah, you've got this bad habit of having as much emotional intelligence as a wet fucking brick whenever you need it most."

He stopped, took a moment to calm himself.

"You think I'm giving up, just because I would rather know that someone walked away from this, even if it was just one person? Because if it's a choice between nobody leaving or someone getting the chance to move on, for this not to destroy them, I know which one I'm going to make."

Matthew went ignored; this was just about him and Faith now, as far as he was concerned. Julien took the scissors out, still streaked with dried blood, and tossed them to her.

"We begin with Ashlynn Martinek who said the wrong thing to Julien Leblanc, who retaliated by shutting her up for good. You'd have thought people would have learned to be careful with their words by now."

"She had this great plan to, ah... get all the people who didn't want to go along with this whole thing in one place. You know what she ended up saying to me when I pointed out how fucking wrong it could go? She told me that I was doing Danya's job for him. I stabbed her in the neck with those right after that." He looked at his hands, just now starting to do anything like heal.

"I dug her grave myself. People aren't for throwing away because of some fantastical plan to make everything better. Then I had Erika use me as bait to kill people literally just for trying to help me, and they're on me too. So don't talk to me about not wanting blood on your hands like I don't know, because I don't wish it on anyone, and don't talk to me about being special. I expect not to leave this place, because there is no making up for what I did and I'd hope someone would have the decency to kill me for it."

Julien looked Faith in the eyes for a moment before he smiled, something much too warm and sincere for the occasion. "It could be you, even, I'm sure. I would hope that it wouldn't have to be that way, but... you want to live, I can tell, so as things stand, I would have to go one way or another."

[Frozen Smoke]

It felt surreal, as Matthew jumped in, cutting across her before anything else could come pouring out of her mouth.

Faith knew he was right, immediately, as she watched Julien's expression change - even as Matthew tried his best to broker some peace between them. She tried to formulate some form of apology, some way to excuse what she'd just said, as her own expression morphed from an angry grimace to a regretful frown for a few moments.

A line had been crossed though. The facade of civility had been torn down, and Julien seemed only too happy to walk through the hole, as he wheezed theatrically beside her. Her top lip curled with contempt as she felt the mockery clinging to his voice, mingling with the tinny words of Danya that cloyed the air, making it barely understandable.

The people keeping us - if you feel a little a down - no reason why they would stop at just one - another day while others have failed

Good, she didn't want to hear it anyway.

I would rather know that someone - more than one-third - nobody leaving or someone getting the chance - we should kick things off

The scissors that arced between the two of them brought her attention away from being determinedly not focused on what was being said as much as the silence from Julien did, as a few sharp cracks rang out from the speakers around them. She reached her free hand down to pick them up, curious for half a second as to what he meant by it, before the colour of the glint caught her eye. Red, dark, brown-red that gunked up the joint and ran down the blade. Faith let go of it almost immediately, and scrambled to stand up, off of the log.

One hand clutched the shroud of reflective material that surrounded her tightly to her chest, as she backpedaled towards where her clothes and bag were, eyes wide as she stared at Julien. Danya's voice bounced off of the trees around them as he confirmed exactly what had just been hinted at. Her heart began to beat quickly again, much too quickly, it felt like it was making her dozy as she just stood there for a moment. There was an explanation coming, there had to be, this wasn't happening.

Mackenzie Baker had her throat cut by Justin Greene - You know what she ended up saying to me - Ramsey Cortez was strangled by Angie Cortez - I stabbed her in the neck with those

Shut up, just for a second, she just needed to-

I had Erika use me as bait to kill people - Erika Stieglitz notched up a double kill when she sniped - blood on your hands like I don't know - Brandon Murphy was shot by Zachary Beck

Shut up, shut up, shut up

some fantastical plan to make everything better - putting a bullet in Tom Swift's head - blood on your hands like I don't know - Ariana Moretti, who died from wounds inflicted on her by Marco Volker

shutupshutupshutup

Points for improvisation, if not for style - what I did and I'd hope someone would have the decency - That was certainly something huh? - It could be you, even, I'm sure

SHUT UP

Faith just wanted to scream it, at the top of her lungs, at everything. She screwed her eyes shut for a moment, pressing the urge down as hard as she could, and somehow everything complied eventually. She continued to take short, sharp breaths in and out through her nose, as she opened up her eyes - Looking at Julien again, but missing his gaze. Everything burnt on her mind, a thousand questions, and a thousand accusations battling for her tongue.

"Leave."

She took in another, stabilising breath through her nose, trying to put a little more force into the strained voice that was croaking from her throat.

"Please leave. Right now." She elaborated, as she looked down at the loose soil and twigs on the floor.

If she said anything else, she knew she wouldn't stop, and it was horrifically obvious how that would end.

[Super Weegee]

If looks can kill, Julien would drop dead in mere seconds. Matthew glared as the prick laughed his ass off at him. Like those assholes back in middle school, the ones who constantly made fun of him for his anger. The ones who enjoy watching him yell, the ones who wanted to ruin his day because it was funny in their eyes. Oh, boo hoo, he got shot by Erika. That still doesn't fucking excuse the way he's acting.

Taking a deep breath, he did his best to stop that all-too-familiar feeling from rising further than it already has.

Don't let it get to you, Matthew. No need to throw punches over something so petty.

Just keep calm...in...and out...

Once that was done, albeit with some difficulty, he spoke to Julien again.

"I didn't say that any of it was a good idea in the first place, jackass."

Whether he heard or not, Matthew wasn't sure, as Julien continued talking to Faith about how he loved her and how it was important that someone other than him makes it out and blah blah blah. It was just noise to Matthew at this point, he didn't particularly care about how he felt after that mess. What he did care about was Julien tossing something over to Faith which, whatever it was, was obviously scaring her as Danya revealed that he killed Ashlynn for saying the wrong thing. Matthew could only think of one word in response as he focused even more of his attention on him.

Oh.

Any shred of sympathy Matthew had for him might as well have been incinerated.

Almost immediately, Julien began to explain why he killed her and he didn't even bother to try to justify what he did. Ashlynn just mouthed off to him about how he was doing Danya's job and he stabbed her for it. It surprised Matthew with what he said, but it pales in comparison to what he said midway through.

"So don't talk to me about not wanting blood on your hands like I don't know, because I don't wish it on anyone..."

Oh, that's just rich, after what he did! Matthew's glare intensified as he expressed how he oh-so regretted it and wanted someone to kill him for it. By the time he was done, Matthew just closed his eyes and slowly shook his head. Faith was distressed by the whole thing, and likewise wanted Julien to leave. However, Matthew couldn't let him leave it at that. Not after that.

Opening his eyes again and looking at Julien, he spoke as he walked around the campfire towards him.

"If you didn't wish for anybody to die," he said, "you wouldn't have stabbed Ashlynn. You say that you even though you killed her for that petty of a fucking reason?"

He stopped at the side of the fire and continued.

"Yeah, that's totally believable." he said, dripping with sarcasm. "Considering the way you're acting right now, you're doing nothing but proving her right."

[Endellion]

"Please leave. Right now."

"No," he flatly refused. "This is how it needs to be. So say what you want to."

Julien looked to Matthew after that, and let him finish taking his little stab at him. He didn't laugh this time, not finding the attempt at seizing the moral high ground as if some paragon of virtue amusing. "I really couldn't care less if you, or anyone else on this island, believes me. You're honestly doing me a favour if you don't, and there are more important things to worry about."

He took out another cigarette, lighter not far behind. It looked like taking this as he wanted to would get him just what he sought, so there was no reason to do anything but. Would it make the man currently glaring hate at him any more likely to believe him, being so blasé about it? Certainly not. But it wasn't as if he ever fucking would anyway; most of the people he knew here had always had the tendency to only think what they felt suited them. "It is a fair question though, so I'll give you a straight answer."

A ring of smoke fluttered into the breeze, quickly fading first into wisps, then to nothing.

"Yes, I will say that. Because while I do wish this never happened, there are a great many other things I wished for," he did not look at Faith, "and none of those ever came about. Some things are never to be."

Another drag, another ring of smoke. "And yes, it is a petty reason. But they all are, save one, and you can twist that one easily enough." Julien looked up at Matthew. A little taller than he thought, up closer. He wondered if perhaps it was an attempt to more literally stand up to him.

That was a little more like it... And one good turn deserved another. So he dragged himself up to his feet, as best as he could manage, and stood up in kind.

"I'm going to take a wild guess and say that you've thought about getting out of this place. Both of you. Thing is, every time that little thought goes through your head, like it or not, you are saying to yourself that you're worth more than someone else." He paused. The hole in him did that every so often, some minute adjustment tearing a jagged hole in his concentration. "Probably someone you don't know, because it would be that much easier that way in the end. It's only natural to want to live."

"And that is, of course, the whole point of all this. Who cares the least about the lives of others, when you give them the reason? Between the people who want to live, the ones who've gone insane, and the idiots who lull people to their death for some half-assed plan and then pat themselves on the back and say they tried if they didn't die with them, there are a lot of horses in that race."

And the thing they had in common, one and all, was the fucking nightmare they went through. But... that could only stretch on for so long before it wore too thin to cover anything up any more.

"I don't care to play that game, and I don't want a pity party from some cunt who never knew me and my name carved into a wall. So I'd rather things end the way that I want them to, nobody else."

[Frozen Smoke]

It took a lot of effort to pull her eyes away from the floor and back to looking at Julien as he spoke, and even more to keep her expression stable, not reacting with a laugh or sneer or a roll of her eyes with every sentence that came out of him in order to interrupt it. It wasn't courtesy, no, just restraint she realised that kept her glaring back as impassively as she could manage. Her nose wrinkled a little as he blew smoke in her direction, trying as hard as he could to act as if this was all just natural, as if he was so superior for just accepting everything and rolling with the punches.

She took in a sharp, short breath as she shuffled her stance a little, knuckles still white as they held together her blanket-cloak. The ground beneath her still felt uncomfortable, but it was almost an afterthought, as her jaw felt like it was almost welded shut - Her teeth pressing almost painfully together. She took a few steps forwards, moving closer to Julien as he continued speaking, coming to a stop in front of him as he sat on the log. Her eyes flicked downwards again for a moment as pain crossed his expression.

Faith felt a pang of guilt for the images of punching him that she'd been drawing up in her head as an outlet for the energy that was coursing through her. She still wanted to hit him, but - Not like this. He was already too hurt, beating him up was practically a death sentence and well, to a point that was what he wanted. That pang was momentary, and her free hand still itched to do something, cloaked beneath the reflective material.

Julien began to move the cigarette in his hands up to his lips to take another drag as he looked back at her, probably planning to blow another smoke ring in her face. Her own hand moved out and slapped the cigarette away in a dismissive motion, her eyes tracking the motion of the orange light with satisfaction for a moment, before returning to looking at him again and taking in a breath.

Her heart was racing. She could feel it with every motion she made, as her hand stayed outstretched, transformed into a pointing finger aimed squarely in his direction as she spoke.

"You know, I used to think you were just a pragmatist, a realist. I respected that. But that's not- not you, is it? You're just a fucking coward."

She took in a shaky breath.

"You just look at the way things are and you fucking give up. That's - That's fucking cowardice, and you know it."

She swallowed briefly, a lump in her throat being forced away.

"Fuck winning. Fuck odds. Fuck doing what the fucking terrorists who put us in here tell us to do. I'm going to fucking fight this thing until I die, and fuck you for calling me a cunt for that."

Another shaky breath, in through her nose, and out through her mouth as her hand retracted it's accusatory finger.

"Guess I never really did know you."

[Super Weegee]

Couldn't care less about what they think, huh? That's just about the response he expected. Julien might as well have been saying that they're wrong since they're not agreeing with them. It took some effort for Matthew to maintain a neutral expression, though he never lightened up on the glare he kept giving him, as Julien mentioned in a way that felt targeted towards him about how there was one reason they could easily twist.

It wasn't hard to figure out what he meant, and he kept preaching about how they think they're worth more than someone else if they try to escape the island and...

...Ugh, Julien isn't going to stop, is he? Matthew let out a sigh when he realized that. No matter what either Matthew or Faith say to him, he's just going to discard it like a wet paper towel.

Yeah, I don't care about what you think, but take the time to listen to what I have to say! It's clearly more important.

Matthew had to admit that he was right on one thing, however. There were indeed more important things to worry about, like gathering supplies and finding their allies. Something that he and Faith should be doing right now, as a matter of fact, and not listening to an unreasonable dickhead. His patience with him, what little there was at that point, quickly ran out.

And so, right after Julien mentioned how it was only natural to want to live, Matthew simply shook his head at him and turned away from him, walking around the fire towards his hanging jacket. Unsurprisingly, it was still pretty wet when he touched it, albeit a little more dry than before, but that didn't stop him from putting it on and zipping it up. A little water isn't going to exactly ruin his day. Whatever Julien kept saying went ignored as he walked over to his bag and hoisted it over his shoulder.

Right when he considered grabbing his umbrella, Faith pretty much went off at Julien, calling him a coward and telling him to fuck off. Guess she forgot Julien mentioning that he didn't care what they thought. As he was walking over to the pair, Matthew felt his foot stepping on something. When he crouched down and looked at the scissors, it was painfully clear the blood was what made Faith freak out. His hands shook a little and he felt a little uneasy just looking at it, grimacing a little, and he felt tempted to set it down and leave it alone...

...

...But having a weapon was better than no weapon at all, at least. Like hell he was going to get caught completely defenseless.

Picking it up, Matthew stood up and put the bloody weapon in his hoodie pocket. Continuing to walk towards Faith, he put a hand on her shoulder and spoke.

"No point in arguing with him, Faith. He's just going to keep talking about how he thinks he's in the right. We should grab our stuff and get moving."

[Endellion]

He looked something like affronted by the cigarette being slapped out of his hands. It passed after just a second though, and he let Faith keep saying what she wanted to, let Matthew have his little wishy-washy moment of still sitting on high ground that didn't exist.
But he respected it, a little of the fire he wanted to see. Although she still had a long way to go, considering what would inevitably come for her in due time.
"And come on now, Faith, you can be a cunt sometimes. It's a speciality of yours, up there with going off half-cocked and having absolutely shit taste in friends." Himself included, for that matter. "And yes, you did never really know me, because you only knew what made things go smooth." That one was entirely based in reality, when he considered it. She hadn't had a clue exactly what it was he saw in her for the longest time, and honesty could bite just as deep as anything else. "See, there's a good example of cowardice standing behind you right now, for example. Though I'll give it to him, Erika's worse by a long shot. See, I can tell he's angry too, but he can't reconcile with the risks of what he's feeling and see it all the way through so, ah, he'll try to run away like it makes him any better," Julien looked right at Matthew, "but if he really is like me I'm sure he can get mad enough to turn right back around and go for it. I'll be having those scissors back, by the way. You have your own, or have you not even looked through your own bag?" He said it politely, but no was clearly off the table as an answer.
Even Ashlynn had blatantly had more, and she'd carried it with her right up to passing on. That was certainly worth a respect he had no right to give.
"Oh, and since you've clearly forgotten..." Julien reached up and gave the collar at his neck a light flick. "That thing is very much real. You want to escape? Then make your fucking choice and own it, since if you do manage, expect all your friends to die for the privilege." That was the biggest thing of it all, really. Thinking back on what little he'd seen discussed about this before, too many assumed that there was some grand aim to the effort of taking them all and sticking them all here, and Julien naturally felt his own experience gave him a little more insight into the matter than most anyone else. The goal was pure and simple pain, and there was ultimately nothing else to it. No other reason could justify going to such lengths, really.
And he figured Ashlynn would tell him to shove his respect up his ass, should they somehow meet in the after, were there one. But it wouldn't stop him.

[Frozen Smoke]

There was a soft clink as Julien's nail hit the metal around his neck, the action making Faith flinch for just a moment, as his own pointed words had served to remind her very clearly of Danya's words of warning around messing with their collars. Part of a speech that Julien seemed to have believed every word of to be the cast iron truth, as if they didn't have some sort of vested interest in playing up just how good they were at stopping escapes, despite the fact that 2 out of 6 of the versions had seen people outsmart them and get out.

Even if it had been at a cost.

Her jaw stayed clenched for a moment as she tried to absorb what he was saying, to figure out the point he was making, before looking over to Matthew as he began to inch towards their bags. Probably trying to subtly convince her to move, as the still damp darkened material of his jacket hung off his frame, reminding her of how disgusting her clothes had felt just a short while ago as they'd clung to her body.

"No. No, we're not going anywhere." She said, before turning her head back to Julien. "And you're not getting your scissors back, either. Should've thought about that before you decided to try and make a dramatic fucking point, huh?" she added, voice dripping with scorn as she narrowed her gaze onto him.

"If you think that- That fighting, that trying to just not be a shit person, is dooming my friends well - Fuck, what the hell are you doing that's any better? You're dooming your friends jus-" her voice wobbled a little, and she paused, breathing in sharply through her nose.

"Just as bad. Okay? So you don't get to- to fucking sit there and act all high and mighty just because you're fine with giving up."

Her mouth stopped moving for a moment, and she looked at him, then back at Matthew for a moment. Swallowed a little. It felt like all of the moisture that had once been in her throat had moved to her eyes, and she had to blink a few times for the haze of unfallen tears to fade. She moved one of her hands to the side, opening a palm to him, the shrug of her shoulder visible even if the action wasn't. All of the furious energy felt like it had cut out of her in a mere moment as the disbelief settled in once more.

It felt like there was nothing more to say. She'd made her point.

[Super Weegee]

As Julien kept talking, Matthew couldn't stop himself from raising an eyebrow at what he's being accused of. Him, having his so-called 'cowardice' being compared to Erika? Him not being able to see his feelings all the way through? This is just getting ridiculous, Julien couldn't be more off-base if he tried. Matthew's glare was toned down as he felt part of his anger dissipate to make room for his confusion and slight amusement.

He decided not to argue with Faith on her choice to stay put as he spoke.

"Dude," Matthew said, "what the hell are you talking about? First of all, I don't even have a weapon and Erika obviously does. You're not getting the scissors back, by the way. Second, I want to get the both of us out of here because, like you told us, you don't care for what we have to say and if we believe you or not. Despite that, you're still talking. And third-" He unconsciously cracks a faint smile. "-I doubt we even spoke to each other once back at home. You're just tossing out random assumptions about me, like if we're best friends or shit like that." Even if they did happen to talk to each other back at school, he highly doubted that they would leave good first impressions. Hell, Matthew doubted that he would've even remembered it. "I can't reconcile with what I'm feeling and see it through?" He had to stifle a chuckle, "Oh, give me a fucking break."

Putting his hand on his neck, Matthew rolled his head counter-clockwise to loosen the muscles in his neck, feeling a cracking sensation as he did so. When he spoke to Julien again, he stopped smiling.

"Honestly, if you're not just talking shit and you're actually trying to get one of us to kill you, punch you, or whatever, you're gonna have to do better than that."

[Endellion]

"See, there are a lot of things wrong there," the scissors themselves didn't actually mean anything with even a second's thought given to it, because it was hardly as if he needed them to know what he'd done. So Julien pulling Faith in closer to him, taking out the fucking huge knife that he had tucked away and holding it to her throat, that wasn't because of them, oh no. It was because she was stupid enough to look away from someone standing directly in front of her, who she clearly did not have a full measure of any more, with the only person who would help not only behind her, but unarmed. He didn't count the scissors, since some things were only weapons if they had the advantage of surprise. "So let's go through them one by one, shall we? For a start, I'm certainly not giving up, as you seem determined to keep parroting at me. Giving up would be killing somebody for, ah... well, no reason at all, really, like just being in the wrong place. Or over a pair of scissors." His hand shifted ever so slightly on the handle. "Would you like me to educate you on what that looks like, Faith?"
Was there an after for people who did the things he did, would do, though? He doubted it.
"And I'm very curious how I could possibly be dooming any of my friends when I'm not the one who put bombs around their necks. Or when they are no friends of mine any more for that matter, since I am to die here one way or another." He looked directly at her as he said it, ignoring her erstwhile companion on the basis that his doing anything would have a little too much risk of causing a slashed throat. "Ah, but of course, who am I kidding? A painful death is just fodder for drama and grand speeches about morality, isn't it, Faith?" He had the self-awareness to grin at the irony of that, but being up close, angry as he was, as he smiled he found himself contending with the strangest compulsion to headbutt her in the mouth. It would be hard to ramble on with a tooth or three missing, he was sure, and the possibility somehow existed she would be... not better off for it in the end, but certainly more wary. Intuition became much more important when it was hammered in that you couldn't trust your friends.
But of course, some prices were worth paying, in service to things beyond yourself.
But he still cared enough not to do her any such harm. Not that it would matter now.
Had this been how she felt, he wondered? Probably.
"And yes, you can't see it through, because you let being worse off dissuade you too much, just like you will now. There are many here who wouldn't do you the courtesy of telling you so when they could just butcher you instead. A miserable end for anyone." And while they held no intrinsic meaning to him, because he was growing yet more bitter and for a great many reasons... "I'm getting the scissors back, by the way."

[Frozen Smoke]

Every breath that came out of Faith's mouth pressed her throat against the blade for just a fraction of a second. The initial rush of adrenaline and shock had come in a flurry of those motions, every moment of sharp contact feeling like the start of the inevitable, deeper cut. It made it so hard to slow her breathing down, as she felt herself drowning in the moment, her eyesight still swimming even as her wide-eyed expression was fixed on Julien. It took a while for what he was saying to break through the surface, the pounding surf of noise that was her heartbeat thrumming in her ears, as the lunge forwards continued to not come.

By the time she started to follow, there were too many questions she needed to ask to even get onto the track he was on, as he ranted about the terrorists and her, and how deluded they were. Her eyes flicked down to the knife, or what little she could see of it as it disappeared under her chin. They went back up to meet his eyes again, her expression less shocked now, but filled with concern and fear at what she saw there. It felt like she was looking at a different person, even to who she'd talked to just a few minutes ago, as his eyes stared angry holes back into hers - Before glancing off to the side wildly, following the slightest movement with the same intensity.

What the fuck happened to you?

Her eyes slipped down to look at the blade for a moment, once again, the shimmering reflections of the light that filtered through the swaying canopy holding her attentions for a moment. Maybe he'd pull the blade away now that his speech was done, and he'd made his point, they could just leave.

The blade stayed where it was. Instead, Julien issued demands.

Faith looked out of the corner of her eye, towards where Matthew was standing. There was a moments pause, as she considered exactly what to say, what to do. Part of her wanted to just tell him to run. There was every chance that Julien was going to keep her as a hostage anyway, or attack him if he came over towards them, but-

"Matthew..." She started, in a quiet, strained voice that forced its way out of her mouth. "Can you give Julien his scissors, please?"

[Super Weegee]

It happened so fast. Matthew went wide-eyed as Julien pulled Faith towards him and held a knife to her throat.

"Hey-" he blurted out before he stopped himself from saying something he'll regret. His eyes constantly shifted between the two while Julien continued ranting like a psychopath. Clenching his teeth, he didn't dare make a move, lest Julien follow through on his threat. The urge to just charge the fucker, even with the short distance between them, was brought down by the fact that he'd have to knock down Faith in the process.

He just had to wait for the right time to do something. If that time ever came, that is. In the meantime, he listened to Julien as he asked them how he could be dooming his so-called 'friends', a question that made Matthew give him an incredulous look. Still, he didn't interrupt and let him continue ranting. At the end of it, Julien's demands were clear: hand over the scissors or he'll kill Faith. Immediately, Matthew slowly put his hand on the bloody weapon by the handle...

...and stopped himself from pulling it out as something started to nag at him in the corner of his mind. Julien, after making a big deal out of wanting someone else other than him to make it out of here, is willing to murder just for some scissors?

He fucking murdered Ashlynn for mouthing off, are you stupid?!

Then again...that was likely in the heat of the moment...

Likely?! Julien's willing to kill Faith just because of one argument!

He said that he wished it didn't happen...he can't be that big of a fucking hypocrite...right?

A dozen more conflicting thoughts went about through Matthew's head, as he continually shifted his eyes towards the knife and towards Julien himself. Another second of silence, another second wordless breathing, and another second of Faith's life on the line only increased the already high tension. Eventually, against Matthew's gut instinct practically screaming at him not to, he decided to believe that Julien was bluffing.

Holy shit, this is the dumbest fucking thing I'm ever going to do in my life. I hope I'm right about this...

And with that, Matthew finally spoke, choosing his words carefully.

"Y-You said that- something about how you wanted to make sure some- somebody else walked away from this, how...how you didn't want to walk over your friend's corpses? I...I doubt you want to add another corpse to the list, let alone F- Faith's corpse, just because of...a pair of scissors...r-right?"

[Endellion]

"Huh. Well, I suppose that I ought to give you some credit after all." The mocking left his voice, no more room for it any more. "And of course, the answer is that no, I don't."
Some would debate if there was any overlap between harming someone and merely terrifying them, but he had made a promise and would keep it.
She was finally understanding what it was like having the anger pointed at her for a change, was she? Not so different from Ivy after all, at least not in that aspect.
Faith had laughed such things off before, if he recalled. He'd always felt it wrong, to act that way. And now it was her time to see hateful eyes looking down on her.
"But there's, ah, a lot of catches there, when you think about it, a lot of questions to ask. I care about Faith, don't get me wrong, but it isn't exactly hard to argue that the best care in a place like this is palliative. Speaking from personal experience, all it would take is a little pressure and a few seconds," he could see it in his mind's eye, even, and the thought made him feel sick. But that burning welling at the base of his throat helped, in its own way. "I don't think you'd get a better deal anywhere else."
He'd bet he would see it should he close his eyes, the life pouring out of her as she tried desperately to cling onto it. He would need to be sick, but not yet.
"And besides," he continued, of course, "there's more to it than that too. I love her, you know? Quite a thing for me to be saying from where you're standing, I'm sure, but I do and so I will. Would you like to know what she did, when she first had that little bombshell dropped on her? Nothing so mature as actually talking about it, oh no. She just avoided me since, well..." There was honestly only one reason he could come up with. "My feelings were awfully inconvenient for her, I suppose."
He doubted she'd just let him talk about her like she wasn't there, not wanting to risk tipping the knife edge she was perched upon now.
"Would you consider someone who'd do that to you any friend of yours, I wonder, Matthew?"

[Frozen Smoke]

Faith looked at Matthew nervously as he stalled for a moment, then began to speak, hand still clutching onto the scissors as he stood there a few paces away. He stuttered uncharacteristically as the words dripped out of him, probably as scared as she was, though he didn't show it quite as much. His words seemed like they might have a positive effect, at least, repeating all of the things Julien had said and throwing them back at him. Faith couldn't see Julien's expression, but she hoped there was something there, a reaction - A sign of life. A moment of silence fell that gave her the chance to look down once again at the knife pressed against her throat, hoping it would start to retreat, and this could all be over.

Julien cut off that line of hope quickly and cleanly with a simple no.

Part of her wanted to blame Matthew for not just handing the knife over, as her expression fell, but she knew she'd have tried the same. She had tried the same. She took a breath in through her nose, and out through her mouth, shallow enough that she barely felt the knife hold her throat taut. Tried to look away from Matthew, to keep tears out of her eyes, to just ignore it as Julien described killing her. But you couldn't just ignore something like that, and every little judder and readjustment of his grip felt like it was the start of what he was describing, her whole body tense as she tried not to reflexively send her hands up to clutch at her neck - At the wound that wasn't there yet, but she could imagine so vividly she could swear she felt blood running down her.

"And besides, there's more to it than that too. I love her-"

Faith's mouth drooped open a little in shock, her eyes looking down now, scanning back and forth as she tried to parse exactly what he was saying. What he was playing at, because he didn't mean that in a lover her like a brother sense, that much was made certain. Feelings. There was a memory, a hazy one from something that felt like it had happened a lifetime ago, back in Tennessee. Arguing with Ivy, she wasn't sure why. Something had been said about Julien, about Wyatt, and she'd been mad and hurt her.

It felt like there was a pit in her stomach as he continued to talk, as if she'd ignored him, as if she'd treated him like an inconvenience. It felt like every bad story she'd laughed at on TwoX. Maybe she'd have laughed too, if it wasn't so terrifying in the moment, as everything came spilling out of him. Faith didn't want it to, but it felt like a betrayal all the same, as he shrugged off judgement to Matthew.

Maybe this was how Julien had always been.

Maybe the laid back, movie loving, philosophical friend she'd had was nothing more than a face he'd put on to try and get close to her. Because it hadn't been about being a friend, clearly. Faith had thought he was better than that, that they could connect beyond that level, but she'd been wrong.

That hurt almost as much as the knife running across her throat was going to.

There was a pleading look in her eyes as she looked back at Matthew, wishing that he had something, some secret plan or move to get her out of this. But, she knew he didn't. As they made eye contact again, she felt a tinge of another emotion rise up, guilt. Every second she kept him here, he was being put at risk. It wasn't like Julien could chase him down, but she wasn't sure he'd run in the first place. She remembered his reaction to the gunfire in the rice fields, charging towards danger, whilst leaving her with the bags.

Faith closed her eyes. Her lower lip wobbled.

"Run." she said quietly.

"Run, just - Run Matthew, get out of here." she repeated, her voice a little louder. It felt almost like an afterthought, as she tried to process everything else, her tone lacking conviction as she tried her best to stop herself from crying.

She wouldn't die crying.