Chattanooga, Tennessee, September 8th, 2017
275 days until Survival of the Fittest
275 days until Survival of the Fittest
Cassidy's voice cut through the stifling silence hanging over the Springer's dining room that had only been occupied otherwise by the dull drone of the TV from the next room over and the disinterested scratching of cutlery pushing food to and fro. It wasn't atypical for the Springer girls to find themselves alone for dinner, between their parents' work schedules and their recent conviction to work on their marriage that saw them on multiple date-nights throughout the week, the sisters frequently had to make due with just themselves. But, as far as Madison was concerned, it was preferable to the alternative; to the pointed, forced questions about school or Connor and the pretending that their marriage was anything other than a building built on a shaking foundation and held together with Elmer's glue. At least with Cassidy there were no ulterior motives, no glass closets, the worst Madison had to deal with was the occasional neediness and general annoyance and a frequent insistence that McDonalds instead of real take-out.
“What?” Madison asked, despite not particularly wanting an answer. Her eyes were trained on her cell phone, deeply immersed in the latest behind the scenes drama of the Real Housewives and their latest twitter beef while her dinner plate, emptied save for several mushrooms that had been included in her lo mein by mistake, lay forgotten in front of her.
“Rainbows. When they're not in the sky, where'da they go?” Cassidy repeated through a mouthful of her on dinner.
Madison didn't avert her gaze, her irritation tangible in her voice, “What? What do you mean?” Finally looking up, she met Cassidy's eyes. She could've tried to explain that rainbows were just molecules or something, light refracting something yadda yadda yadda, dipped deep into the doldrums of seventh grade science, but it'd be a fools errand. Cassidy wouldn't understand even if Madison herself knew the answer. “They don't go anywhere, Cassidy, they're there and then they're gone.”
“Nathan said they're puddles when they leave and that's why you gotta jump in them so they can get back up.” Cassidy's face was hopeful, as if she'd shared a valuable piece of information she knew that Madison hadn't, but rather than praise or a thank you for the lesson, she was met with a cold sigh and a roll of the eyes from her elder sister.
“Nathan's an idiot, don't listen to him.”
“But, his mom-”
“Well his mom's an idiot, too.” Madison spat, returning her gaze to her phone as a punctuation to the conversation.
Cassidy glumly rested her chin atop her palm, focusing her attention on guiding a lone pea around the expanse of her plate with the tip of her fork. “He's not... and you're not 'spose to cuss,” Her voice came out in a dejected whispering, barely audible from under her breathe.
That had been the intention, at least, but Cassidy was naturally loud, and Madison was naturally prone to not letting a sleeping dog lie.
“Idiot's not a cuss, idiot. Cusses are, like, the really bad ones. Like, 'ass',” She glanced up quickly in hopes of gauging Cassidy's reaction and wasn't let down when she was met back with her sister's widened eyes and mouth hung fully agape, “And 'shit',” Madison continued, placing her phone on the old wooden table before leaning across it and dropping her voice,
“and 'fuck'.” She finished, drawing the word out as long as she could manage to fully offend Cassidy's sensibilities, her sister's jaw now millimeters from the floor. A churlish grin marring her features as she reclined back once more, still keeping her eyes locked on Cassidy,
“Y'know. Those ones. Not idiot.”
Pleased with both herself and Cassidy's speechlessness, she retrieved her phone and one more engrossed herself with it. Eventually, Cassidy regained her composure and shyly spoke up, her own sheepish grin spreading across her face.
“Can... I say one?”
“Mmm...” Madison intoned, pretending to wrestle with her decision before answering flatly, “No. You'll get me in trouble.”
Dejected once again, Cassidy returned her head to her hand and resumed her pea's journey around the world and promised herself that she'd get to let Madison let her say a cuss one day.
“I still think they're puddles...”
Friday, June 15th, 2018
6 days into Survival of the Fittest
6 days into Survival of the Fittest
** Madison Springer, girl no. 12, continued from... A Smooth Criminal
She sat poised atop Connor's jacket, knees drawn tightly to her chest as she looked far beyond the horizon. With the sun brought heat, and with the heat, the drying of the mud and blood caking her clothes and her hair and her face. A barren plate sat beside her, emptied of the meal that her starved body sought to reject. It felt wrong to eat, to enjoy.
To be rewarded.
So she didn't.
Purposeful, measured, calculated bites, sustenance that wasn't meant to be enjoyed. Chew so hard that she could hear her teeth cracking against one another in her skull, swallow so loudly and so hard that it hurt. Maybe because she deserved it, maybe because she wanted to hear anything other than soft pops in the distance or the waves angrily beating against the beach or the seagulls over the ocean screaming at her.
Maybe she was afraid that even with everything, with all the white noise and the noise in her head, she'd realize how truly quiet it was. How there was no heavy, labored, nasal breathing following closely behind her, no voice begging her to slow down or take a break, no soft laughter at unspoken jokes or unimportant stories about this one time when...
And maybe she'd realize how truly alone she was. And she'd realize she didn't have to be, but she made that choice and told herself it was the right one, that he never would have made it, as if she had a better shot.
But she was selfish then and she was selfish now, because he was gone and she was lonely.
But eventually, silence would set in, once she had nothing else to chew and nothing else to drink, nothing else to busy her hands with and she'd be left alone with the sea and the clear sky, free of anything that wasn't the blistering sun.
And eventually, she'd pick herself up, grab her jacket, grab her gun, and walk back toward the dirt road she'd taken to get there. And once she was back on the road, she'd jump in every puddle along the way, just in case Nathan wanted the rainbows.
** Madison Springer, girl no. 12, continued in...
