Kai's stomach twisted itself into guilty knots as Kitty crumpled and started to cry. He looked away, digging his fingers into his pant leg.
He could only take it for a minute or two before he moved. He slid closer across the cabin floor and wrapped one arm around Kitty, pulling her against his chest and under his chin.
Just like always.
"I know," he said in a hoarse whisper.
Kai listened to the news a lot when he was driving around. NPR and stuff. He didn't go out of his way to listen to crime stuff, but it made its way onto there. Sometimes somebody would do something particularly awful, but their family would cover it up. Their wife or husband or siblings or parents or children. They'd lie to the police. They'd destroy evidence. They'd ignore what was right in front of them and deny to the very end.
It was with a sinking, suffocating feeling that Kai was beginning to question if all those people in that situation could really be in denial.
They were evil, right? It was easy to say they were evil. They chose the killer, the rapist, the whoever, over the people who were already suffering and those who would suffer in the future. They knew, and they made that choice. They were just as bad as the person who did it. So they either had to be evil or stupid.
Because if that was true, you could hear those stories and say, "Well, I'm not evil. I'm not stupid. I'll never end up like that." And you go on about your business and don't think of it anymore. Why would that ever happen to you?
"I know you didn't set out to hurt anybody." Didn't matter much at this point what she'd set out to do. What was done was done. But Kai knew it wasn't so simple as her waking up and deciding with cold rationality to kill.
He squeezed her tight and tried to stop loving her for a minute. Just a minute. Last-ditch chance to pull both of them out of this downward spiral.
Five, six people. Dead. Dead and never coming back. Kitty had done that, and she was sorry, but she wasn't sorry enough. And she didn't plan to stop.
And knowing all of that, Kai still loved her. Because he was stupid, he guessed. She could have told him all the gory details, and he couldn't have stopped loving her. Not at the drop of a hat like this. Not when a week ago, they'd been walking home from school together while she chattered to him about her cat and her drawings.
He squeezed Kitty even tighter with one arm and wiped his eyes with the other. When he spoke again, his voice was rough. Throat closed up again. He was getting tired of that too.
"You already said that you think people are going to keep coming after you. You know every time just gives them more reason. They might not stop, but you can. There's other ways."
Pointless to do and say this now, probably. Too many lines already crossed. They couldn't go back. But maybe they could... they could go off the beaten path. If Kitty only saw the one laid out in front of her, Kai would have to be the one to find another way.
"All of that stuff that- that Meena said, about free will not existing-"
Pointless, ultimately. Some part of him knew that. But the rest had wanted to find her no matter what he heard, and now it wanted to do anything - anything - to hold onto the person he'd known and loved like a little sister for just a little while longer.
"That's not true. There's always a choice."
Even if in some way, he was only holding onto her memory.
The Sound That You Found For Me
Night, Day 5 (Private, Will Be Quick!)
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
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VoltTurtle
- Posts: 1545
- Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2018 4:10 pm
- Location: Dreamland
For a moment, when Katelyn closed her eyes and retreated into the darkness within, she never felt more alone. Kai hated her now, she was sure of it. She had made one too many mistakes, and now he saw her for what she really was; the monster everyone else already knew her as. She still loved him with all her heart, but now he was going to abandon her just like everyone else.
Except, she felt his arms wrap around her, and heard his whisper in her ear. Her crying stopped, and sniffling slowed. He was still there. He had heard her, and maybe even understood. Instantly she sprung back to life, embracing him in a hug that would be almost crushing if it weren't for their difference in size. She buried her face in his chest, staining his jacket with her tears as sheer, ecstatic relief washed over her.
She listened, and for a second, allowed herself to feel genuine hope.
"What... wh-what are the other w-ways?" she asked, her voice barely a murmur.
Except, she felt his arms wrap around her, and heard his whisper in her ear. Her crying stopped, and sniffling slowed. He was still there. He had heard her, and maybe even understood. Instantly she sprung back to life, embracing him in a hug that would be almost crushing if it weren't for their difference in size. She buried her face in his chest, staining his jacket with her tears as sheer, ecstatic relief washed over her.
She listened, and for a second, allowed herself to feel genuine hope.
"What... wh-what are the other w-ways?" she asked, her voice barely a murmur.
Kai didn't actually have any response that felt like a good answer. All options seemed to lead to the same end.
But he'd known that for a while now. He was just trying for a better path to that ending.
"...We lay low. We already know to stay out of town. We can stay away from the other areas where people will be gathering in buildings too."
They'd gone camping together plenty. They could rely on each other out there where other people wouldn't be as sure of themselves. "You know that we know our way around the woods better than almost anybody else. We can make it camping out. We just have to- stay farther off the road." He let out an unsteady breath, again flashing back to Ren's last few hours. They'd felt safe enough just off the road, but it hadn't been enough.
"If we run into people, we can try to negotiate, and if that doesn't work, we're carrying enough weapons now to just scare them off. Not... most people aren't like Matthew." It sounded better than he'd thought it would, getting it all out there. His stomach still twisted uncomfortably once more with the knowledge that not everyone Kitty had killed could have been like Matthew either.
This was the best he had. It had to be enough.
But he'd known that for a while now. He was just trying for a better path to that ending.
"...We lay low. We already know to stay out of town. We can stay away from the other areas where people will be gathering in buildings too."
They'd gone camping together plenty. They could rely on each other out there where other people wouldn't be as sure of themselves. "You know that we know our way around the woods better than almost anybody else. We can make it camping out. We just have to- stay farther off the road." He let out an unsteady breath, again flashing back to Ren's last few hours. They'd felt safe enough just off the road, but it hadn't been enough.
"If we run into people, we can try to negotiate, and if that doesn't work, we're carrying enough weapons now to just scare them off. Not... most people aren't like Matthew." It sounded better than he'd thought it would, getting it all out there. His stomach still twisted uncomfortably once more with the knowledge that not everyone Kitty had killed could have been like Matthew either.
This was the best he had. It had to be enough.
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
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VoltTurtle
- Posts: 1545
- Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2018 4:10 pm
- Location: Dreamland
Katelyn sniffled, digging her face further into Kai's chest.
"Okay," was all she said.
That wasn't a good plan, and she knew as much. She had been around the island a few times, and it wasn't all that big. Even in the best case scenario, the terrorists would eventually force them to come out of hiding, or otherwise draw people towards them through the use of danger zones. Conflict was inevitable, and violence would follow conflict wherever it went.
In spite of that, she still wanted to believe that it could work, and that she didn't have to kill anymore. Yet, she knew that it wouldn't be that easy, that trouble would inevitably find her wherever she went. Kai might not like it, but there would be more Matthews on the way. When they came for her, she would do whatever she had to in order to keep them both safe a little while longer.
Katelyn squeezed Kai even tighter.
She never wanted to let go.
"Okay," was all she said.
That wasn't a good plan, and she knew as much. She had been around the island a few times, and it wasn't all that big. Even in the best case scenario, the terrorists would eventually force them to come out of hiding, or otherwise draw people towards them through the use of danger zones. Conflict was inevitable, and violence would follow conflict wherever it went.
In spite of that, she still wanted to believe that it could work, and that she didn't have to kill anymore. Yet, she knew that it wouldn't be that easy, that trouble would inevitably find her wherever she went. Kai might not like it, but there would be more Matthews on the way. When they came for her, she would do whatever she had to in order to keep them both safe a little while longer.
Katelyn squeezed Kai even tighter.
She never wanted to let go.
"Okay," Kai whispered back. He fell silent, holding Kitty until she finally shifted to move away.
It was a plan. A shaky one, but a plan. He wanted to believe it could work, even though he knew it would inevitably fall apart.
He wanted to believe it would be just like all the other times they'd camped out. Peace in the wilderness and comfort in the routine of each other's company. Deep in the woods, you could pretend the rest of the world wasn't out there.
Kai knew he had to stay grounded, but he desperately wanted to pretend.
"We should get some sleep. We can... take care of Ren in the morning."
((Kai Rosado-Prince continued in Cat Scratch Fever))
It was a plan. A shaky one, but a plan. He wanted to believe it could work, even though he knew it would inevitably fall apart.
He wanted to believe it would be just like all the other times they'd camped out. Peace in the wilderness and comfort in the routine of each other's company. Deep in the woods, you could pretend the rest of the world wasn't out there.
Kai knew he had to stay grounded, but he desperately wanted to pretend.
"We should get some sleep. We can... take care of Ren in the morning."
((Kai Rosado-Prince continued in Cat Scratch Fever))
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
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VoltTurtle
- Posts: 1545
- Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2018 4:10 pm
- Location: Dreamland
Katelyn didn't say anything else to Kai once he finished speaking, instead just cuddling up next to him for warmth. The howling of the wind through the window petered out, and with it so went the accusations it whispered in her ears. This place may be haunted, but the ghosts could not harm her. So long as she wasn't alone, she was safe.
They say home is where the heart is, but Katelyn never felt like her heart belonged anywhere. It used to, for sure, before it was torn out of her chest the day her parents died. Since then, she had always been trying to find a place to put it, to keep it safe and warm despite the dangerous, cold world she found herself in. Here and now, she realized that she had given her heart to her friends a long time ago. Where her real family rejected her, they accepted her wholeheartedly, and became her true family. In this way, with Kai by her side, it was like she had never left home.
They went to sleep not long after, Katelyn's arms wrapped around Kai's back, burrowed inside their two emergency blankets.
((When the morning came, they buried Ren behind the cabin, and paid their respects before moving on.))
They say home is where the heart is, but Katelyn never felt like her heart belonged anywhere. It used to, for sure, before it was torn out of her chest the day her parents died. Since then, she had always been trying to find a place to put it, to keep it safe and warm despite the dangerous, cold world she found herself in. Here and now, she realized that she had given her heart to her friends a long time ago. Where her real family rejected her, they accepted her wholeheartedly, and became her true family. In this way, with Kai by her side, it was like she had never left home.
They went to sleep not long after, Katelyn's arms wrapped around Kai's back, burrowed inside their two emergency blankets.
((When the morning came, they buried Ren behind the cabin, and paid their respects before moving on.))