Beau Larkin

[FlockOfHens]

Name: Beau Larkin
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Grade: 12th
School: Southwest Red Rock High School
Hobbies and Interests: Rock climbing, camping, campfire cooking, exercise, animals

Appearance: One physical feature about Beau is his height, only reaching 5’5” and being noticeably short. He weighs 136 lbs. with a small waist, lack of belly fat, and a few muscles growing around his biceps, back, and calves. And because of his constant exercise, his body is toned and kept in shape. He has light brown skin due to his mother’s background from Bangladesh. Unknown to his friends, his clothes cover his keloid burn scars. These scars cover his body on his back, starting from the middle of his back, and spread behind his thighs, triceps, and almost behind his neck, which is hidden under his hair. On both of his hands, there are small calluses that form under the middle, ring, and pinkie fingers that he tries to cure by using hand lotion. He also likes to paint his nails black on a few occasions.

He has bright blue eyes with medium low-arched eyebrows. He has long, messy, hazel-colored hair that he ties into a ponytail, but his bangs still cover his forehead and eyebrows. Beau wears clothes he considers cute or able to withstand the outdoors. He would also wear any clothes that would cover his arms hands, and legs such as long-sleeved shirts or pants. On the day of the abduction, he wore a black undershirt, a pair of black UV protection seamless arm sleeves that cover his arms and palms, a faded green utility coat with a small patch of his school’s mascot at the front saying, “Proud To Be An Outdoor Rattler,” black crew socks under grey cargo pants with large pockets, and brown timberland hiking boots.

Biography: Born on May 8, 2006, Beau is the fourth child of Russel Larkin, originating from Northern England, and Najlaa Larkin, originating from Bangladesh. His two parents had met during a backpacking trip in Nepal, and after a year of traveling together, they planned to get married. They planned to try and settle down in one of their home countries, but Russel refused to return home because of the hatred between his strict parents, while Najlaa rejected her country because of its dense population. The two would then agree to immigrate to the USA but later spend more time completing their visas. But after finishing up their requirements to immigrate, the couple settled down in Las Vegas after getting hitched in a 24-hour chapel. The reason why the couple chose Vegas was because Russel dreamed of becoming a cook. He always admired the different restaurants being opened by celebrities and dreamed of working in them one day, although he had no plans to start a restaurant. Soon, Russel obtained a job in buffet cooking at the Excalibur while Najlaa took up a front desk receptionist position at the Cosmopolitan to prepare themselves for starting a family.

Beau is the youngest of Myah, Yazmin, and Nicolette Larkin, all of which are a few years older than him. While Beau is still a high school senior, his three sisters obtained part-time jobs at their mother and father's workplace, Myah working with her father while the other sisters worked with their mother. However, the family does sometimes encounter financial problems at certain times, such as payments to fix their old family van. While the family is not religious, Najlaa does follow many Islamic beliefs and attends Khutbahs. Beau and Nicolette attend a few of these services alongside their mother to learn more about her heritage.

At a young age, he was always in the comfort of those around him. Firstly, he connected well with his older sisters over the years and put his trust in them. He has even obtained a love for campfire cooking. Whenever the family was on a camping trip, they all contributed to cooking food for themselves. At first, Beau's sisters taught him how to make smores, but would later extend to cooking full meals, such as scratch mac n' cheese, or beef and vegetable kebabs. Beau had even used his newfound knowledge of cooking at home and sometimes cooked lunches for himself and his sisters.

Secondly, his parents have taught him about their family origins and their love for the wilderness. On many occasions, the Larkin family would take camping trips to nearby camping spots or trips to hiking trails near wilderness areas every few months. It was because of his parents that he had extended knowledge about camping. Russel would teach him helpful wilderness tips, such as how to start a fire, pitch a tent, and sterilize water. His mother on the other hand would teach him about different types of naturalistic animals and how to survive their attacks. For every trip, he learned more about America's natural history, and Beau became more attuned to nature in return. Beau would always be at ease whenever he found himself outside. Even when it was a walk around the neighborhood, it was enough to calm himself.

With his time at elementary school ending and the start of middle school, Beau sought to involve himself more with his hobbies. Around this time, he discovered rock climbing classes, to which he signed up without hesitation. At first, he learned about the basics of how to climb and even attended a climbing gym. Soon after, he faced several obstacles in Big Wall Climbing, but would always encounter new routes many times. It wasn't long until he set his sights on a new challenge. While he was already taught the basic guidelines with Bouldering at his gym, he wanted to try and climb near actual cliffsides rather than the plastic walls he's trained on. Thankfully, the Red Rock Canyon was open as a training ground for him. Although it seemed treacherous, Beau loved every opportunity he had to climb. He loved the dangerous risks, the thrills of reaching the top, and the thought of seeing the world from astonishing heights. Along the way, he had met with a few other kids from his classes who had similar interests in nature. Because of this, Beau maintained an inner circle of friends who had stuck by him through hard times.

However, just before his final year in middle school could end, the pandemic swept through the world, leaving him and his family trapped indoors. Like most others at his age, staying inside had seemed to be fun at the time; but for Beau, the situation had put him on wits end. While it did seem to hinder his activities, it didn't stop him from trying to continue his practices at the canyon with his friends. At first, his friends would frequently meet at the canyon and catch up with each other's lives and their climbing. But one after another, they would soon no longer climb with Beau due to many reasons. Soon after, Beau lost his inner circle of friends after most of them lost interest in rock climbing entirely. Because of it, he too stopped climbing for a while due to his depressed state of losing his friends.

After a few years, restrictions on staying indoors had been lifted, finally easing the Larkins. To celebrate this occasion, Russel had suggested his family take a camping trip before the start of high school, to which the rest of the family agreed. The family had planned to stay at a nearby camping spot for a week before returning home just in time for the start of Beau’s year in high school. The trip had run smoothly; Beau was finally back to the outdoors and had been relieved from his depression. But during the third day of the family’s trip, he and Yazmin had noticed a few items stolen from their camp. They didn’t take much to mind, but during the night, they noticed a man trying to steal from them again. The Larkin children soon took action and tried to attack the thief, who became aggressive toward them. But during the scuffle, Beau was pushed away and landed in the open fire pit, which burned his clothes and nearly charred off his skin. While his sisters quickly rushed to his aid, the thief had already made their escape.

The trip was cut short due to Beau’s sudden accident. His family soon rushed him to a hospital where he was treated for his wounds. After surgery, he was left with 2nd-degree keloid burn scars all over his back and recovered for almost five weeks, completely missing out on the orientation at Southwest Red Rock. During this time, he developed an intense fear of fire, especially with uncontrollable flames. Alongside his newly gained phobia, he also became self-conscious about his burn scars across his back. The trauma would soon follow him when he returned to Red Rock, which harmfully impacted him during his freshman year. He became reclusive and had a hard time interacting with other students. Interacting with others became especially hard because of how uncomfortable he became with his burn scars. At the same time, there were many moments where his scars could've been exposed to everyone, such as times during P.E. or while changing. Beau did everything he could to hide them from everyone by wearing long-sleeved clothes like pants and hoodies and even opting to change in a bathroom stall after P.E. or exercise.

Due to his emotional state at the time, Beau had considered high school to be very dull and filled with students who didn’t adhere to his interests. But while he found school to be a bore, he excelled in PE because he was already in good shape from climbing and hiking. Beau had even started maintaining his health by doing daily exercises at home and utilizing the school's gym. Although he could do push-ups, he was more fond of pull-ups and built-up arm muscles with his workouts. With the help of bodyweight exercises, Beau burned off any remaining body fat to make himself slimmer, although he's still trying to get abs.

Even when he did very well in PE, Beau became interested in biology. He learned about how most organisms in plants could function in different circumstances and their importance to humans and the environment. His love of biology soon spread when he learned about the animal kingdom. He loved to learn about the terms natural selection, the process of how an animal evolves, and even how endangered species could be saved. Because of his newfound knowledge about animals, Beau felt inspired to learn more about how animal populations work.

However, he still found some of his school subjects to be troubling. One example of this would be mathematics. While he has been doing exceedingly well in geometry, he's shown to be clueless at other subjects like trigonometry and algebra. The lowest grade he had gotten in this subject was a "D," but with the help of extra tutoring from his teachers, his grade was fixed to a "C."

While his attitude in school had changed, it still never changed his relationships with his family. During his hospital stay, his family were the only ones he felt comfortable talking with rather than the nurses and doctors who visited him once in a while. The time at the hospital rubbed off on him as he would sometimes explain his problems to them. Beau soon took his complaints to his parents and even his sisters, seeking some advice. It was only then Myah suggested some unique advice to her younger brother: creating a club. Beau quickly took her advice to heart and opted to create a new club at the start of his sophomore year. It was around this time that life began to finally turn in his favor. By creating his new club, the Outdoor Rattlers, he began to connect well with other students no matter what grade, especially one who could follow his hobbies. Not only that, he taught his club members every kind of advice he’d learned throughout his childhood, from camping to rock climbing. The club has been learning big wall climbing because of him and is continuing to learn other disciplines, such as lead, bouldering, and belaying. Beau has even taught his club how they can protect themselves while climbing and how to traverse different route obstacles, including slabs and overhangs.

And because of his personality shift, students began to notice his quick behavior change. While he used to be soft-spoken and strayed away from any chit-chat, Beau now makes an effort to strike up conversations with other students, no matter their reputation. Most, if not all the students and faculty in Red Rock, compare him to a Golden Retriever or a Labrador. And especially to the Outdoor Rattlers, Beau's love and support for all his members show no bounds. To him, he treats his club as a second family.

Beau now spends the rest of his senior year with a bright attitude and a smile, knowing that his club will be in good hands when he graduates. While he has no plans for college, he plans to travel across the globe with his family and experience all the different cultures, cities, and wildlife as much as possible. After he graduates the Larkins plan to take some time off from their jobs and classes and finally book tickets to an overseas backpacking trip, starting with Europe. After their trip ends, Beau plans to finally set his sights on college, though it is unclear if he could major in Biology to study nature or Zoology to study animals.

Advantages: Beau’s knowledge of outdoor survival can be shown from his leadership in the Outdoor Rattlers Club. He knows about the basics of survival, such as fire starting, navigation, first aid, and several others. However, Beau is more talented in rock climbing. His fast speed and good coordination can help him reach the top and climb cliffs, mountains, or tall, abandoned buildings. By doing so, he could not only get better vantage points than other students, he could stay protected from a high place. Because of his club leadership, Beau has potential allies in the form of his club-mates. He believes that by using their teamwork and determination, they'll be able to survive. And because of his shorter stature, he has no problem evading hostile students.
Disadvantages: Due to traumatic events, Beau has developed Pyrophobia, the fear of fire. Although he is perfectly fine with matches and lighters, he would become visibly frightened when starting a campfire and distance himself a few inches away. If Beau were surrounded by an uncontrollable fire, such as a wildfire or a nearby explosion, he'd become frozen in fear. And because of his shortened height, he has a shorter lung capacity, which can put him at risk with shortness of breath when he over-exerts himself. Despite being skillful in rock climbing, his short height makes it difficult to reach far ledges.

[Deamon]

Hi FlockOfHens! Good to see that you'll be joining us for V8. I'm Deamon and I'll be critiquing Beau for you. Currently, he's off to a good start and there's the core of a good character and what we've currently got here isn't bad but at the moment we need to work on adding some more details and tidying some parts up before he'll be able to join pregame.

First up, I googled Larkfinn as a surname and I didn't get any hits at all, I also tried on Wikipedia and didn't get anything there either, as such I'm going to have to ask you to change Beau's surname I'm afraid.

Beau is notably shorter than most of his male classmates, only reaching 5’5” in height,

You don't need to include the detail comparing him to the other classmates, we don't know the actual height makeup of the class so this could end up being an average height in the year group. You can just say he's noticeably short.

He weighs at 136 lbs.

We don't need this at here.

His body would sometimes be mistaken to be feminine-like with him having a small waist, lack of belly fat, and overall skinny body.

I don't think this would be true, he sounds like he's just toned and in shape.

He has light brown skin due to his mother’s background.

What is his mothers' background? This would be a good detail to know as it informs both Beau's race and his cultural heritage.

Unknown to his friends, his clothes cover his keloid burn scars.

So with this, I think this would be very difficult to keep hidden over a long period of time. Beau will be around his friends a lot and will at some stage likely be in a situation where he needs to change in front of others, like in the locker room during gym class. If you want this detail to stay, I'm going to need some further explanation as to how he's kept this hidden.

Surprisingly, he has sharpened teeth similar to fangs.

While this would be surprising it doesn't have any explanation as to why he has sharpened teeth, so it's probably better to just change this detail as it doesn't make much sense.

or able to waistband the outdoors

Looks like there has been an auto-correct error here as it says waistband instead of withstand, which I assume is what you actually meant.

He would also wear any clothes that would cover his arms hands, and legs such as long-sleeved shirts or pants. On the day of the abduction, he wore a black undershirt, a red, black, and white patterned hoodie with a small patch of his school’s mascot at the front saying, “Proud To Be An Outdoor Rattler,” black crew socks under grey cargo pants with large pockets, brown timberland hiking boots, and a faded green utility coat.

I am going to have to pull this up. The reason is because we need to keep in mind that the trip will be happening in the summer, so the kids will be in Las Vegas in the summer, the average temperature in Vegas in June/July is 100-105°F (38-41°C) so it is very hot. This outfit is too many layers for that kind of climate if we're being honest, Beau could stand to leave on item at home, I'd suggest the hoodie or jacket.

Long ago, a young man had taken the journey to backpack all around the world after quitting their office job. It had taken a lot of effort and hardships, but he had traveled to several countries from Europe to The Netherlands. But while staying in Nepal, he met a fellow backpacker who had returned from Indonesia. The two would travel together before getting engaged in the US. They would finally settle in Las Vegas in a suburban home, find stable jobs at the Vegas Strip, and start a large family of four kids. This was the story of how Beau Larkfinn’s family had come to be.

This is too flowery for a profile. The idea is that these are supposed to have been written by a bored terrorist, so they should be detached and clinically formal, think sort of like a Wikipedia article. A bored terrorist isn't going to use this sort of dramatic tone. Taking a look at some of the profiles that were approved for V8 can also help give you an idea.

For the rest of the profile what we really need is more detail. Each item in the hobbies and interests list should be given a paragraph of its own. As things are we hit all of them in one sentence and they don't receive any further mention really. There are different disciplines of rock climbing and it seems to be the thing Beau enjoys most but we don't have any information on it. For each hobby and interest, I would like them to have their own paragraph with details of how Beau got into them, what Beau enjoys about them and why, how he participates in them and if he does them with anyone etc. You get the idea, I just want more details on each of these things.

completely missing out on the orientation of Red Rock.

As this is the first time Red Rock is mentioned in the profile it should be the full name, so Southwest Red Rock.

What is Beau like at school and around his friends now that he has friends again? Is his personality at school different from when he is out in the outdoors with his club? What is he like with his clubmates? What subjects does he like and dislike at school? These are all questions that you can use to expand upon Beau as a character, as right now we're pretty light on details on what is he actually like as a person outside of his scars and his depression over covid, which are the two main things in the profile currently.

Following on from this point what is Beau's relationship like with his parents and his sisters now?

We've got a bit of information about what Beau plans to do after graduation, which is good, but how does he plan on doing this?

For Beau's advantages and disadvantages, we seem to be partway there, his wilderness survival skills are a good one to bring up, but you should also add in how he could use this on the island. His climbing giving him good coordination is also acceptable but being good at the actual climbing itself is likely going to have niche applications in a death game environment.

Beau will reluctantly be motivated to kill if it means protecting his club-mates. He believes that by using their teamwork and determination, they will be able to create an escape from the game, but he can’t let anyone else interfere with their plans.

These aren't really advantages, these are character traits that would be better to be brought up naturally over the course of the game. If you want to include his club as an advantage I'd focus on it giving him a group of potential allies.

I would also say that he needs more for his disadvantages, his small size could likely be more detrimental than just not being able to reach certain places, which again, could potentially be a pretty niche issue. The fire thing is workable but I'm not seeing how its a real disadvantage as written. I'd like you to rethink these and expand on potential disadvantages Beau may have.

And that is everything for Beau I caught on this pass. Post back here once you've made the edits and I'll give Beau another look!

[FlockOfHens]

New edits have been made!

[Deamon]

Hi FlockOfHens! Beau is looking better but we still have some edits and expansion of existing details that need to be made before he'll be able to be approved.

Due to his stunted growth at a young age,

I didn't catch this the first time around but I realise now that this is never explained in the actual profile, so I'll need some details on this.

Beau is notably shorter,

As the comparison is no longer present it can just be short, not shorter.

His body would sometimes be mistaken to be feminine-like with him having a small waist and lack of belly fat, instead, he has a a toned body that's kept in shape

This sentence doesn't make sense as written, and as I previously pointed out just isn't something that reads as true, so can just be removed honestly.

Beau is the fourth child of Russel Larkin, originating from Northern England, and Ilana Larkin, originating from Bangladesh.

Alright, we have more details on his family's origins, which is good. Unfortunately, it has raised a few more questions: what are these two people doing in Las Vegas? Neither of them are from America and immigration can be a difficult process, so I'd need some more information on why they chose to settle in Las Vegas and how they went about this. Also I can see that you removed the part about how they met, this can be added back in to give some background. My final question is more minor but I do want to see some consideration of, Ilana is a Hebrew name, but she's from Bangladesh, is she Jewish? I only ask because it likely makes a difference for Beau's upbringing and potential religious beliefs. To that end, with his mother being from Bangladesh—and Bangladesh being a 91% Muslim country—what are the family's religious beliefs?

We have how Beau got into rock climbing but we don't actually have any information on what he likes about it and how he participates, does he go to a climbing gym or does he climb outside, does he prefer bouldering or traditional big wall climbing? We need to bump up the detail here.

However, just before his final year in middle school could end, the Pandemic swept through the world, rendering him and his family to be trapped indoors. Like most others at his age, staying inside had seemed to be fun at the time; but for Beau, the situation had put him on wits end. For an active and outdoorsy kid, he couldn’t handle the restrictions of being inside for many months and had slipped into states of depression because of it. And because of his saddened state, he soon lost his inner circle of friends after most of them lost interest in rock climbing entirely.

So I hate to be that guy, but there was nothing stopping Beau from just going out to Red Rock Canyon and doing some rock climbing, it was open over Covid. So I'd just like an explanation of why he never ended up doing this.

The Larkfinn children soon took action

Missed changing Larkfinn to Larkin here.

completely missing out on the orientation of Southwest Red Rock

at not of.

Because of his current state, Beau had considered high school to be very dull and filled with students who didn’t adhere to his interests.

The tense here is weird, it's not Beau's current state as later in the profile we know he gets better, so this should be changed to something like "Due to his emotional state at the time, Beau had considered high school..."

including physical education when he used his energy in hiking and applied it to the subject,

I'm not entirely sure what you mean by this or how his energy from hiking could be applied to doing physical education. Do you mean that he's good at it because he's already in good shape due to his climbing and hiking?

It's been rumored the club has been learning Bouldering because of him and is off to learn other disciplines, such as Lead and Solo Climbing.

Why would this be a rumor?

After their trip ends, Beau plans to finally set his sights on college, though it is unclear if he could major in Biology or Wildlife Management.

I like the section about the backpacking trip with his family, it's very cute, but if Beau plans to go to college for Biology or Wildlife Management these should probably appear in the biography at some stage.

Unfortunately, we still don't have any details on his hobbies. Camping, plants, campfire cooking and exercise are all brought up in the hobbies and interests section but don't appear in the profile at all. They need to be in the profile with their own paragraphs as these are supposed to be the most important interests Beau has in his life. Plus it gives good opportunities for expanding on Beau's personality and what he's like. It's a good way to let the reader get to know him.

And that's everything this go round! Post back here once you've made the edits and I'll take another look!

[FlockOfHens]

Another hit with the edits!

[Deamon]

Ok time for round 3! I feel like we're getting close right now and can get this complete with a few more edits.

In the past, his body used to be feminine-like, but instead, his body is toned and kept in shape.

Please remove the reference to Beau's body being feminine-like, it's unnecessary for the profile and as I previously said, it just doesn't make sense.

Beau would normally wear clothes that he would consider cute or able to withstand the outdoors.

The would here doesn't fit with the context of this sentence, you can just say "Beau wears clothes that etc."

I can see that you added some more detail about the family and why they chose to move to America, but it doesn't explain why they chose Vegas as the place to settle down, so I'd like that question answered.

Big Wall Climbing; it wasn't long until he set his sights on learning the basics of Bouldering

These don't need to be capitalised every time, you do this a couple of times so you'll need to edit those instances.

Soon after, he had conquered every obstacle in his gym and mastered Big Wall Climbing; it wasn't long until he set his sights on learning the basics of Bouldering at the Red Rock Canyon. Although it seemed treacherous, Beau loved every opportunity he had to climb. He loved the dangerous risks, the thrills of reaching the top, and the thought of seeing the world from astonishing heights.

Ok, so, this isn't really how rock climbing and climbing gyms work. Climbing gyms will typically have multiple walls set with multiple boulder problems across a range of difficulty grades. If they have walls for lead then that wall will also have multiple different routes at various levels, and they'll change the routes on the wall periodically, taking the old ones down and putting up new ones, typically monthly or so, to keep things fresh. Some gyms also maintain competition walls with more difficult problems for events and such. So a climbing gym isn't something where you can beat every obstacle in that kind of way. Additionally, as Beau could learn the basics of bouldering at his climbing gym, which he likely would have done if he was taught the basics, I'd say he'd be learning how to climb outdoors when he goes to Red Rock for the first time, as climbing on actual rock is a very different prospect from plastic holds indoors.

the Pandemic swept through the world, rendering him and his family trapped indoors.

Pandemic doesn't need to be capitalised, "rendering him and his family trapped indoors" isn't really the correct use of rendering either, it can just be "leading to him and his family being trapped indoors."

it didn't stop him from trying to continue his practices at the Canyon with his friends.

You don't need to capitalise canyon like this.

Alongside his newly gained phobia, he also became more self-conscious about his burn scars.

This is phrased weirdly and makes it sound like Beau already had burn scars he got self-conscious about, if you take out more it'll fix that problem.

but Beau had done everything he could to hide them from everyone by wearing long-sleeved clothes like pants and hoodies, and even opting to change in a bathroom stall after P.E. or exercise.

Did not had done.

he excelled in most of his subjects, including physical education. Because he was already in good shape from climbing and hiking, he kept up with the other students and applied it to most of the subject's training.

You can jusy say he's good at PE because he's already in shape from climbing and hiking. The second part after that doesn't really make sense and should be removed.

Does Beau just do bodyweight exercises or does he also use weights? Is he just working out at home or does he use the school gym or go to a gym?

The time at the hospital rubbed off on him as he would sometimes explain his problems to him.

I'm not entirely sure what happened here, but I don't know who the other person in this sentence is supposed to be.

Beau quickly took her advice to heart and opted to create a new club at the start of his sophomore year.

I know what club Beau created but the name isn't actually in the profile so you should include it in this paragraph somewhere.

The club has even been learning Giant Wall Climbing because of him and is continuing to learn other disciplines, such as Lead and Solo Climbing.

Big wall, not giant wall. We're about to get into the weeds here, but I think it will help with the climbing hobby. The first thing to keep in mind is soloing isn't a different discipline in the way you probably think. Solo climbing is just doing a climb by yourself either with or without protection, you don't have a belayer. They could be doing it in the club, but it isn't a discipline that requires different skills to traditional free climbing or bouldering to learn, it's just a more dangerous and risky way to climb. With regards to lead, it isn't a different discipline in the context described here. It is considered a different discipline in sport climbing, but in the type of outdoor climbing the club seem to be doing lead is more about the action of being the person leading the pitch or route. Confusing I know, but climbing has a few different styles and variations that use similar terminology that can trip people up. A fun example is free climbing being the normal type of outdoor climbing most people imagine, but free soloing being climbing with just your shoes and chalk and nothing else. I'd suggest it would make more sense for Beau to be teaching the club skills such as belaying, lead, how to set protection and how to climb various route types: crack, slab, overhang etc.

However, Beau is more talented in rock climbing. His fast speed and good coordination help him reach the top, no matter the terrain.

You'll want to explain how being able to reach the top of a wall is going to be of a benefit on the island, as like I said before, it's a pretty niche utility skill.

And because of his shortened height, he'd become prone to more fatal injuries and would become an easy target for others.

I don't think being short makes much difference in terms of Beau's ability to avoid fatal injury, if someone is shot they're in trouble no matter how big they are. I think you can find a different disadvantage for being small honestly.

And that is everything! Post back here once you're done and I'll take another look!

[FlockOfHens]

Another try!