Survival Of The Fittest

The odd choice of context, in spite of its being completely abandoned straight after establishing it as a 'scale' seemed to help. It elicited a grin, at least, and whilst it did look forced, Ema put that down to large amounts of face-based pain. Yeah, note to self, don't make her laugh, that can't be healthy with all this blood and bruising and whatnot. Second note to self, be more careful around the nose, looks like it's broken and certainly felt like it. Oh and third note to self on the subject of the second, obtain more dexterity.

For a moment, Ema wondered where exactly she was meant to gain additional dexterity from, but that was a stupid train of thought and ended only in tired RPG analogies, so she ended it and paid attention to what Hayley was saying.

"I found myself tied up on the tracks right before the Bitchmobile came rolling through. Hit me hard. But I...uh...shot it?"

That... didn't really make any sense. Bitch version of the Batmobile on train tracks? Bullets worked on it? What?

"...I don't know who she was. The girl. Seemed like she had some vendetta against me or whatever. But I doubt she made it far with a couple of bullets in her. ...There was some other girl, I didn't see what happened to her before I blacked out. Ran out of bullets. Just a bad break, I guess. Now..."

Yeah that made a hell of a lot more sense. A girl come along and beat the snot out of her, then she shot her and wait who do these pronouns belong to again?. Anyway Hayley shot the other unidentified girl who proceeded to run off and probably died a few meters away. That'd explain the trail of blood Ema had followed to get here, then. And then there was another girl who Hayley tried to shoot but didn't have any bullets left, and evidently she absconded as well. Probably went after the gunshot victim. Yeah, that sounded pretty reasonable.

There were a few holes, of course, like why Hayley hadn't shot mystery girl #1 straight off the bat, rather than waiting around to become Mr. Sandbag first, or why mystery girl #2 hadn't taken the time to finish the evidently unconscious Hayley off... but those could wait, the actual present was happening. Fact was, Hayley was alive, Ema was there, moving on needed to be happening. And the former was reaching out to be lifted.

"First, I need you to help me up. Then we're gonna get our stuff, and you're going to tell me what happened to you."

Ema obliged, surprised to find that either Hayley was a lot lighter than she thought, or she was a lot stronger. Or both. But there'd be time to figure out which later on, it was more important to offer a shoulder for balance, try to figure out which way was "back", and then maybe explain how she'd come to be so red. So, establishing a slow, steady pace back towards the west, Ema recounted the events of an hour or two ago as best as she could remember them.

"I guess it was more that I happened to someone else. No wait, that sounds dumb. Anyway. I was like, pacing around, keeping an eye on our stuff, waiting for you to get back, and, uh, I kind of lost track of where I was, and ran into this guy while I was looking at the map. And he was like, all creepily silent and stuff, even after I literally walked straight into him, and then he starts getting up like a fucking zombie or a Necron or something, so..."

That sentence went on for longer than intended, Ema paused for breath.

"Yeah, I shot him. And I guess I wasn't sure he was dead and I thought I saw his hand move, so I went for his arm with the sword and... oh, bollocks."

Ema looked back, she'd left it on the ground where she'd dropped it a few minutes ago. Leaving Hayley to rest against a tree, she went back to retrieve it, disregarded the blood still matting it, and shoved it in her daypack. Back to the journey.

"Yeah, after that I think I must've blacked out or something. Next thing I knew he was just lying there and, and... it wasn't pretty, you know?. Still kind of creeps me out, but it's just another thing not to think about, right? Plenty of time for, like, therapy and stuff when I get back home, right?"

That last "Right?" sounded more than a little bit desperate, even to Ema herself. She'd managed to maintain a largely disaffected tone with the majority of her story, trying not to let slip just how much her own butchering actions had scared her, trying not to let herself feel guilty about shooting the boy in the first place when she had absolutely no cause to think he was going to attack her, short of being bigger and tougher than her. Just pretend the panic was justified and that he wasn't as badly cut up as he looked and go on with a fake normal existence. Totally.

"So, uh... maybe it was one of those people from the cliffs? There were others with the girl you killed there, right?"

Yup, change the subject, like a fucking pro. Thinking about how screwed up I obviously am? No sir. Talking about it? No sir. Things are A-OK and absolutely normal over here.

Okay. Okay, she was standing now. Kind of. It was more like leaning, but her feet were touching the ground, so she'd count it. Small victories. Hell, she was just glad she was fucking mobile. If the Bitchmobile (which is totally what that girl was called now, she didn't really give a fuck if it was a stupid analogy) had decided to break a couple more of her bones, or at least a couple of more important ones, or if Ema hadn't found her, she'd be sitting by this goddamn tree for the next however many days she had left in this game. She'd be stuck here until someone wandered through and took her out, or the woods became a danger zone, or she ran out of water (she didn't have any water to begin with, did she? shit.) and dried out. Yeah honestly that would be a SHIT way to go out, on day fucking ten, when she was so close she could taste victory, or maybe that was just blood again.

Yeah, probably blood.

Fuck it.

"I guess it was more that I happened to someone else. No wait, that sounds dumb. Anyway."

Oh, right, Hayley had asked Ema a question and she probably ought to listen to the answer even though this whole moving thing was trying its hardest to wrench her attention away. Everything hurt. Things she didn't know she had, hurt. She thought the best way to wrap her head around the pain was to try to focus it, let it all settle into one place and then it wouldn't hurt as much everywhere else, so she tried that and of course it all settled into her fucking nose and OW JESUS CHRIST okay fuck that plan just listen to Ema talk god fucking dammit I hate everything.

"I was like, pacing around, keeping an eye on our stuff, waiting for you to get back, and, uh, I kind of lost track of where I was, and ran into this guy while I was looking at the map. And he was like, all creepily silent and stuff, even after I literally walked straight into him, and then he starts getting up like a fucking zombie or a Necron or something, so..."

She almost laughed again, but caught herself just in time. No laughing allowed for a while. No deep breaths, either.

"Yeah, I shot him. And I guess I wasn't sure he was dead and I thought I saw his hand move, so I went for his arm with the sword and... oh, bollocks."

Okay so Hayley wasn't taking this all in properly, really, she was trying REALLY HARD to be a good girlfriend and listener and all that shit but holy god pain. Okay, Ema'd...she'd killed someone, yeah? Was that what she was getting out of this? Welp. Good. At this point in the game every person dead was a fairly major step forward. God, how many people were they even down to now? The whole exploding-escape-boat bit had been really good for them, numerically, anyway, though admittedly anyone who was allowed on the boat was probably no threat anyway. Not that she honestly thought that boat had actually exploded. She'd had her doubts, and Jay and Isabel's absence from her hallucinations had practically confirmed them for her. ...Of course Ema had been in her hallucinations and she was alive so that logic didn't actually make any sense, she was probably justwhoa whoa whoa tree what the hell

And then she was leaning against a tree and Ema was...getting her sword that she'd left back where she'd been lying for some reason. It was only for a few seconds before they were on their way again, but the bark felt like it had a personal vendetta against her shoulder.

"Yeah, after that I think I must've blacked out or something. Next thing I knew he was just lying there and, and... it wasn't pretty, you know?. Still kind of creeps me out, but it's just another thing not to think about, right? Plenty of time for, like, therapy and stuff when I get back home, right?"

...Right. Yeah. Of course. Definitely. All things she would've said if she were a lot more fond of lying. But unfortunately she was a completely awesome person, the kind of completely awesome person who doesn't lie, ever (except a lot of the time, ignore that for now), and so she didn't say any of those things. She settled for a non-committal nod, the kind that, considering her current state, could easily be taken as her completely missing what Ema had said. But she'd heard it. Now she was gonna be thinking about it for the rest of the day.

That whole what comes next thing she'd wanted to avoid.

Or not what comes next, really. Next was later. Next could fall in to place. The question was what happened when (if) Danya (or whoever was running the show now) came on the loudspeakers all HEY BITCHES, THERE'S ONLY FOUR OF YOU LEFT and they all got smashed together in one place because that was how this show functioned and then bang bang two of them were dead and the two that weren't were named Hayley Kelly and Ema Ryan.

It hadn't felt like a legitimate concern until now.

What the fuck then?

"So, uh... maybe it was one of those people from the cliffs? There were others with the girl you killed there, right?"

Smooth as a motherfucker, that's my girl. What a beautifully non-intrusive change of subject. Not that Hayley was anything but grateful for any opportunity she got not to think beyond a ten-meter radius. Metaphorically. Does that make sense? That makes no fucking sense Hayley jesus stop trying

"Yeah, maybe. That would make...sense."

Her speech was weak. Littered with pauses accompanied by grimaces. She tried to keep herself talking by thinking about how unattractive her grimaces were. How the fuck does Ema put up with this OH WAIT she's not a shallow bitch like me, okay, that makes sense then.

"...Doesn't really matter, she's dead now. Or...will be soon. Heh...hehe ow, right, laughing, bad..."

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"...H-heading back to the campsite, now, right? Pack up and...shit...hah, I need a fucking cigarette..."

[[Hayley Kelly continued Who Died and Made You King of Anything?]]

Hayley agreed with the educated guess as to the "Bitchmobile"'s identity, with a pained laugh that made her physical condition all too clear. When even giving a small chuckle hurts your face, you know you're in trouble. But at least she was able to laugh, that was something. Ema wouldn't have blamed her if she came out of such a beatdown in a decidedly surly mood. Maybe she actually was, and was just trying to make the long trip ahead more tolerable for Ema herself. It did seem like the kind of thing Hayley would do, after all.

Either way, whether she was in a legitimate bad mood or an optimistic good mood, Hayley wasn't in much shape to hurry back to the makeshift campsite. And so Ema settled in for yet another long haul, this time due to a sluggish speed rather than a huge distance to travel. At least at the slow pace it wouldn't be nearly as demanding as her two-day hike from corner to corner of the island. If anything, maybe the walk would be nice. An opportunity to think without having to focus so heavily on watching where she was going. Silver linings and all that.

Ema refrained from trying to start up any further conversation as the pair staggered on, fearing that making Hayley talk or laugh any more might just worsen the terrible state her face was already in. So the walk was quiet, save for the snap of twigs and rustle of leaves underfoot. Occasionally she made out the sounds of wildlife in the distance, too, by now quite easily able to tell them apart from the noises of human movement. Nothing to fear for now, except for Hayley's condition worsening.

Would that be such a bad thing?

That thought, or the echo - for want of a better term - of it, hung in Ema's mind for quite some time. She couldn't say how long, but it seemed as though an infinite number of footsteps punctuated the gap between it and any sort of mental response. As it happened, it was a reinforcement, not a rebuke.

She has to die if I'm going to get home.

At that point, Ema had been looking at Hayley, checking up on her. As the thought crossed her mind, she suddenly found herself unable to look the other girl in the eye. She turned away, hoping to look as though she was just turning her gaze to the sky, bored with the long journey.

In this state, she's just going to be a burden.

It's thanks to her that I'm still alive.

But she'll end up getting me killed like this.

I love her.

She'd do the same.

Even though it was her own mind saying so, that last one hit Ema hard. Would she? Would Hayley leave Ema behind, or worse, were their roles reversed, and Ema was the one barely fit to stand unaided? She'd killed at before, must have been seven times by now, what was to say she wouldn't put Ema down if she ceased to be a useful ally, especially with the excuse of "putting her out of her misery"?

She protected me before now, back when I didn't even have the sword.

That was then. This is now. She'd only killed once, back then.

She can't have changed that dramatically in just seven days.

...she says after carving up a boy's corpse like a fucking turkey.

Ema shook her head, seemingly at nothing at all, trying to make sense of the morbid thoughts she found herself entertaining. Why wasn't she dismissing them, why was she actually giving credence to such nonsense? Hayley was her ally, her best friend, her lover. She wasn't about to kill her just because she was slowing her down. So Hayley had killed some people. Arguably they'd all been in aid of Ema, Kyle too, before he'd died. She'd even given Ema a gun, she could've easily kept it for herself if she was as callous as Ema had just seconds ago implied.

At the end of the day, at least one of us is going to have to die, though. Maybe she'd appreciate me making it quick.

She'll recover, she just needs rest. Rizzolo was in a worse state than she is, and he was alone, he still went on to win, didn't he?"

And with that, the debate was over. The guilt lingered on, what with "I love her" not having been enough to silence her own doubts, with cold, logical precedent having to suffice, but she tried to tell herself it was a fair argument, that sentimentality wasn't a sufficient answer to a logical problem. The precedent of V3's winner wasn't the end of the argument, it was the means to absolutely shut out the niggling doubts. It had been over when she pointed out how much Hayley meant to her, she'd decided that she wasn't going to kill her, as easy as it would have been, would still be shut up, at that point. The rest was just little doubts. Right?

That "right?" is only gonna get more and more desperate, Ema.

Guilt, and the inability to assuage it, aside, it was all immaterial. At some point in the internal dialogue, she had indeed decided she had no intention of killing her girlfriend in cold blood. That would have to be enough for now. Yet another weight on her heavy conscience that she'd have to ignore, and hope against hope that nothing would be strong enough to bring it all down on her head later on. Yup, just carry on pretending everything's fine and ignore all the times people have said that bottling things up is a terrible idea.

By the time Ema's thoughts had made it that far, she realised that, entirely without meaning to, she'd been staring at Hayley for... she didn't even know how long. Several seconds, at least. Long enough for it to be weird. Thinking fast, she found something to play it off on; she's a mess, but I've already seen that, err... nose? Yeah, nose, bleeding, wonky, claim it was that. Bueno.

"Um... so should I try to, you know, put your nose back in place? It's only going to get worse if we let it heal like it is now."

[Ema Ryan --> Elsewhere]