Re: これでいい。
Posted: Wed Sep 05, 2018 12:10 am
He got a hold of her. Even though he winced at the stickiness of ...- he didn't let go, he couldn't, he had her in his arms now, he wasn't gonna let her go.
He promised. He couldn't let her go, no way. He had to - just had to hold her and maybe - maybe it was gonna be fine, just like this.
She looked so weak though. So goddamn vulnerable. Like she'd just - shatter or something.
"C'mon..." Did he even say it out loud? He couldn't tell, he thought he had moved his lips but didn't know if anything had come out. He felt like...-
Scarlett smiled. Kinda. Oh god, why, why, how could she smile like that? Looked so strange just - he remembered that smile from times when it had just been a smile, nothing else. He hadn't seen her smile much, really. But this time, he didn't even know, like.
He just wanted to protect her.
She said she was scared and Aiden felt like his face was going to melt or - it was too much, too fucking much.
He had bit down his lip until now, tried to distract himself with the pain, but there was just no way now - he had to close his eyes for a second, try and force the tears back in, but they just didn't stop, didn't stop, he couldn't keep them in.
He tried to speak again, tell her not to be afraid, that it was all going to be fine, but he only managed the same whimper as before. His jaw was hanging open. He could taste salt in his own mouth. His cheeks felt so dry and damp and-
Worth it - worth it to save...him? No, nonono, that couldn't be, she couldn't have died because of him, that wasn't how it was supposed to work, just fucking wasn't. Why, why why why fucking why?
Liked him.
She had liked him. God.
He had to clench his teeth now to not bite his own tongue. Like - he liked her too, of course he did, how couldn't he have?
She was Scarls, sweet old Scarley Scarls. She never did anything to hurt anyone. She deserved to be liked, to be loved. But her - how had she meant it? How'd she like him? Why was that so important to him now? He could barely even breathe, but somehow, that question was - he had to try and say something, he had to.
"Hey, hey Scarls?"
Scarlett's eyes were closed. Why were they still closed?
"Scarls?"
No. No way, no fucking way. This wasn't real. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be it, just like that.
"Hey, hey, hey, up here, listen!"
He shook her a bit. A few loose strands fell into her face. Her eyes were still-
"C'mon, please, wake up, wake up damnit!"
Speaking hurt. His voice was hoarse, like all water, all life had left his body. He felt dizzy, he felt sick, he felt like nothing and everything and once and, shit!
He tried sweeping her hair back with one hand, so she could see again - her eyes were still closed. Her hair didn't stay in place. Her strands fell back in front of her face again.
"Scarls?" No answer. Not even movement. "Please don't do this, c'mon, I can't -!"
He swallowed. He was surprised he still had water in him. "I don't want you to go. C'mon."
His voice grew weaker. He didn't know what else to say. His mind drew a blank. His thoughts were all over the place for a second, just racing around his head looking for something, anything that could make a difference.
"Hey Scarls? Look I - I'm scared. I need you here, okay, don't go. I - I need a puzzle, Scarls. You know where to find one, right? Please just - can you get me one? Please get up."
He didn't even know. He had no idea if he had expected it to work. Sometimes you had to try something crazy. When nothing else made sense like this, when everything was just -
Gone like this.
Scarlett didn't respond.
Aiden couldn't take it anymore, his body gave out and he leaned forward to bury his face on her shoulder. He had no more tears to cry, no more words, no more whimpers, fucking nothing.
She was just dead.
((Aiden Slattery continued in Little Boy Blue))
He promised. He couldn't let her go, no way. He had to - just had to hold her and maybe - maybe it was gonna be fine, just like this.
She looked so weak though. So goddamn vulnerable. Like she'd just - shatter or something.
"C'mon..." Did he even say it out loud? He couldn't tell, he thought he had moved his lips but didn't know if anything had come out. He felt like...-
Scarlett smiled. Kinda. Oh god, why, why, how could she smile like that? Looked so strange just - he remembered that smile from times when it had just been a smile, nothing else. He hadn't seen her smile much, really. But this time, he didn't even know, like.
He just wanted to protect her.
She said she was scared and Aiden felt like his face was going to melt or - it was too much, too fucking much.
He had bit down his lip until now, tried to distract himself with the pain, but there was just no way now - he had to close his eyes for a second, try and force the tears back in, but they just didn't stop, didn't stop, he couldn't keep them in.
He tried to speak again, tell her not to be afraid, that it was all going to be fine, but he only managed the same whimper as before. His jaw was hanging open. He could taste salt in his own mouth. His cheeks felt so dry and damp and-
Worth it - worth it to save...him? No, nonono, that couldn't be, she couldn't have died because of him, that wasn't how it was supposed to work, just fucking wasn't. Why, why why why fucking why?
Liked him.
She had liked him. God.
He had to clench his teeth now to not bite his own tongue. Like - he liked her too, of course he did, how couldn't he have?
She was Scarls, sweet old Scarley Scarls. She never did anything to hurt anyone. She deserved to be liked, to be loved. But her - how had she meant it? How'd she like him? Why was that so important to him now? He could barely even breathe, but somehow, that question was - he had to try and say something, he had to.
"Hey, hey Scarls?"
Scarlett's eyes were closed. Why were they still closed?
"Scarls?"
No. No way, no fucking way. This wasn't real. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be it, just like that.
"Hey, hey, hey, up here, listen!"
He shook her a bit. A few loose strands fell into her face. Her eyes were still-
"C'mon, please, wake up, wake up damnit!"
Speaking hurt. His voice was hoarse, like all water, all life had left his body. He felt dizzy, he felt sick, he felt like nothing and everything and once and, shit!
He tried sweeping her hair back with one hand, so she could see again - her eyes were still closed. Her hair didn't stay in place. Her strands fell back in front of her face again.
"Scarls?" No answer. Not even movement. "Please don't do this, c'mon, I can't -!"
He swallowed. He was surprised he still had water in him. "I don't want you to go. C'mon."
His voice grew weaker. He didn't know what else to say. His mind drew a blank. His thoughts were all over the place for a second, just racing around his head looking for something, anything that could make a difference.
"Hey Scarls? Look I - I'm scared. I need you here, okay, don't go. I - I need a puzzle, Scarls. You know where to find one, right? Please just - can you get me one? Please get up."
He didn't even know. He had no idea if he had expected it to work. Sometimes you had to try something crazy. When nothing else made sense like this, when everything was just -
Gone like this.
Scarlett didn't respond.
Aiden couldn't take it anymore, his body gave out and he leaned forward to bury his face on her shoulder. He had no more tears to cry, no more words, no more whimpers, fucking nothing.
She was just dead.
((Aiden Slattery continued in Little Boy Blue))