Re: Memory
Posted: Thu Sep 06, 2018 6:28 am
There was a pattern to it all. The way things turned when they inevitably went sour. One moment all was fine and dandy, the next someone had a knife in their ribs. Maybe that wasn't entirely fair to say. The movement, the waving, the steady advance and little bantering jabs. But there was nothing about it that could have predicted the next movement, the one where Theo went from zero to coward in nothing flat. Because he just couldn't handle it. Because Steven was a killer, except that she was a killer too, and something of a deadlier one if she had to quantify it. But he had no problem with that. And he was running now, and with him went a sense of warmth, the absence of which sent goosebumps tightening the skin on her painfully bare arms. A feeling like she'd tried to climb one more stair without realizing she was at the top of the flight already.
She snapped her head back to Steven, the killer Theo feared and the one she should at least respect, knuckles whitening on the grip of her gun.
"You fucking idiot." She felt a little twinge in her chest, the curse flying out almost of its own accord. She would have found it a little funny, could have seen the humor in the fact that a little twist of her tongue weighed more heavily on her than the prospect of murder, but all was washed under a wave of sudden rage that erupted in her chest, splashing her cheeks and her forehead with burning red.
"Look at him run. Like a scared little dog who doesn't know biting's wrong and he just pissed on the rug cause you opened the door too loud. Is that what you want to be? Is that what you're... flashing your cred for? You want to be a neurotic mutt too so you can slip past the bouncer of the cool kid's club?"
She could easily slip off after him. Probably catch him too, at least over a good distance. But that didn't matter in that moment. She'd been denied something. An argument, a debate, a pistol-raising, hammer-clicking standoff. She could lose those. Concede her argument or slip out when things got too hot. But this was no loss. It was a complete denial of it all. Win or lose, she hadn't even played the game, and there was one person responsible for it.
"Know what," she said suddenly at the cause of all her life's woes. "You want a tip? Here you go. Here's how you do it. You just put up your little gun," she started, demonstrating with her own. "Two-handed for safety, of course. And then you find some stupid face to point it at. What do you know, that wasn't a very long search. And then you say, well, I wonder what this guy's life means to me. I wonder if there's a single reason to let him live. So," staring right into his eyes, "why don't I pull this trigger right freaking now?"
She snapped her head back to Steven, the killer Theo feared and the one she should at least respect, knuckles whitening on the grip of her gun.
"You fucking idiot." She felt a little twinge in her chest, the curse flying out almost of its own accord. She would have found it a little funny, could have seen the humor in the fact that a little twist of her tongue weighed more heavily on her than the prospect of murder, but all was washed under a wave of sudden rage that erupted in her chest, splashing her cheeks and her forehead with burning red.
"Look at him run. Like a scared little dog who doesn't know biting's wrong and he just pissed on the rug cause you opened the door too loud. Is that what you want to be? Is that what you're... flashing your cred for? You want to be a neurotic mutt too so you can slip past the bouncer of the cool kid's club?"
She could easily slip off after him. Probably catch him too, at least over a good distance. But that didn't matter in that moment. She'd been denied something. An argument, a debate, a pistol-raising, hammer-clicking standoff. She could lose those. Concede her argument or slip out when things got too hot. But this was no loss. It was a complete denial of it all. Win or lose, she hadn't even played the game, and there was one person responsible for it.
"Know what," she said suddenly at the cause of all her life's woes. "You want a tip? Here you go. Here's how you do it. You just put up your little gun," she started, demonstrating with her own. "Two-handed for safety, of course. And then you find some stupid face to point it at. What do you know, that wasn't a very long search. And then you say, well, I wonder what this guy's life means to me. I wonder if there's a single reason to let him live. So," staring right into his eyes, "why don't I pull this trigger right freaking now?"