Survival Of The Fittest

So, Cassidy had a toy boat, and the metal pipe Gavin was holding was presumably the weapon he had been assigned with. Whilst Ruby had suspected that to be the case, she wanted to make sure just in case. After all, it was the kind of thing anyone could probably find in an derelict building if they searched hard enough.

Ami asked if it was okay for her to come out, shortly followed by Cassidy revealing herself and giving her a reassuring smile. Ruby bit her lip, thinking over everything that had been said thus far. Was there anything she hadn't noticed? Any clues or hints of ulterior motives that Gavin and Cassidy might have? Gavin's explanation for why they were here in the first place made a lot of sense, hell it was the exact same reason why she was there as well. Plus there was also the fact that they had announced their presence rather than sneak inside, which whilst possibly not the smartest thing to do given the situation, wasn't the kind of thing she would have expected a pair of wannabe murderers to do.

After giving it some thought, Ruby turned to Ami and gave her a reassuring nod, lowering her gun as she did so. "Yeah, it's cool. Don't think we have anything to worry about, at least for now anyway."

Ruby moved closer to the duo, stopping when she was several metres away. "Sorry about the whole 'threatening you with a gun' thing. Figured it was better to be on the safe side, given our current predicament."

She wiped a bead of sweat from her brow, her heart still racing from the intensity of the stand-off she had just brought to a stop.

"But yeah, I was actually here for the same reasons you were. Since it's the first day, I figured there'd still be plenty of supplies lying around, so I wanted to get first dibs before everyone else with the same idea beat me to it."

She sighed and looked over the rows of empty aisles, only a handful of which happened to have any tins on the shelves.

"Not that it's really made a difference. There isn't much food left, and what little I've found has been out of date for well over a decade. You're welcome to look, but I doubt there's anything useful in here."

She turned to the only other girl in the building with a gun. "Did find Ami though, so I guess this search wasn't a complete failure."

The tension slowly ebbed away from Gavin as Ruby lowered the barrel of her submachine gun to the floor. Gavin sighed audibly, though inwardly he was berating himself for acting like such an idiot. Stepping in front of Cassidy had been ridiculously brave, but it had also been an utter violation of his training. He should have pulled her off to the side and into cover, or shoved her back out the open shopping centre doors. He knew that if Ruby had opened fire then the bullets would most probably have sliced through his body and struck Cassidy anyway. He couldn't even claim that it had been the morally correct thing to do, as there had been plenty of other options that would have resulted in their safety. It had been pure stupidity.

But it had also been the politic thing to do. Looking back on the sequence of events, Gavin realised that he had never been overly worried about Ruby opening fire on them. It was too early in the game for people like her to be shooting strangers on sight, and while the experience of having a gun pointed at him was hardly pleasant, the act of gallantry had been instrumental in convincing it's holder that they weren't a threat.

You have somebody looking out for you, even if you don't know it yourself.

So in other words you're saying that the best course of action isn't always to play things safe and logical?

Yes.

Well thanks a whole fucking bunch, Obi-Wan Kenobi. I could literally never have figured that out for myself.

Gavin realised he was starting to zone out again, and dragged his thoughts back into something that vaguely resembled a cohesive order. Talking to oneself was rarely productive, so instead he focused back on Ruby. He followed her gesture around the grocery store, and saw for himself the long rows of shelves stocked with old, unlabeled tins.

"I guess I'd be willing to risk a few mystery meals." He said after a brief pause. "So long as the seals themselves haven't been breached, the contents should still be edible enough, though the passage of time probably hasn't done wonders for the taste. I'm not too worried about food at the moment, though. I'm more interested in finding more practical items."

"Thank you for not shooting me, by the way." Gavin gave Ruby a small smile, pleased that she seemed to feel safe enough to relax her guard and come closer. He was able to get a proper look at her now that her body wasn't quite so framed in shadow, and his eyes were instinctively drawn to the submachine gun she was still holding loosely. He hadn't registered much about it beyond 'argh, bullets' during their initial encounter, but now he felt safe enough to give it his full attention. He stared for a few moments, and then his eyes went wide as saucers.

Oh my god! It can't be... but it is. It IS!

"Upon my soul!" He exclaimed in a slightly high-pitched voice. "That's an FN Herstal P90 you're carrying! It's military-issue too, not a civilian sporting carbine. My god, I've wanted one of those for as long as I can remember!"

Gavin was almost incoherent with excitement, his stoic facade broken into pieces by the presence of the expensive piece of military hardware clutched in Ruby's hands. He had dreamed of owning a P90, dreamed of holding that unassuming matte-black rectangle that was reckoned by some shooting enthusiasts to be the finest submachine-gun in the world. He had used the long-barrelled civilian PS90 Carbine with sporting ammunition, but never the automatic military weapon with its horrifyingly lethal SS190 armour-piercing full-metal-jacket bullets which could eviscerate a man in a level IIIA kevlar vest at over two hundred feet.

You could at least make an effort to appear sane, you know.

There was a pause. Then Gavin coughed, blushed, and guiltily looked away from the P90. Unable to muster the courage to look directly at either Cassidy or Ruby, he instead transferred his gaze to the figure of Ami. He hadn't paid much attention to the girl before, and he did a double-take as he saw what she had clutched in her hands.

Part of him wanted to burst out laughing. The sight of the timid, stammering girl clutching a massive machine gun was like something out a black comedy sketch. It took Gavin a second of stunned silence to process what he was seeing, quite unable to believe the sensory information his eyes were relaying to his brain. Then he put a hand to his forehead and massaged his temples, running his tongue over dry lips.

"That's a M1919 T33 machine gun." He said in a slightly hoarse voice before anybody else could break the silence. "I just... I don't even know anymore. Good god, do you two have any idea how much firepower you currently possess?"

It was all more than Gavin could process. He just stood there, hand to his forehead, looking between Ruby and Ami with an expression ranging from incredulity to admiration. He didn't trust himself to speak again without babbling, but deep down he was already contemplating how best to use the resources that had unexpectedly been dropped into his lap. Ami would never in a million years be capable of firing the M1919 without dislocating her arms, but Gavin had used weapons of that calibre before, and knew that given enough time he could make the mighty machine gun dance a deadly tune at his direction. If only he could get Ruby and Ami to trust him, nothing would stand against them.

Of course, before any of those grand dreams could come to fruition, he first had to hope that his little display hadn't labelled him as a total madman...

((Skipping to exit))

Gavin's talk about guns were just buzz to Cassidy's ears. Seeing the weapons, hearing their names, knowing they were out there. It was like Misfortune was towering over her and laughing.

Ruby had a gun. Ami had a gun. Grey had a gun. Andi had a hammer. Gavin had a lead pipe.

By the standards of the board game "Clue," everybody had a weapon except for her. Every single person had been assigned a real weapon but her. While nothing about the situation was exactly fair to anybody, this was insult to injury to say the least.

Matt. She had to find Matt. Gavin had talked about wanting to find somebody, and Cassidy had the same right. She couldn't just keep following him around. Especially if him grabbing her hips was going to turn into anything. It was sweet, but it was so chivalrous and heroic that Matt might be embarrassed to see somebody else protecting Cassidy so well. She needed him, and he needed her to need him. The big teddy bear was probably worried out of his mind and turning the island upside down looking for her. Here she was, in a dark store, hidden entirely.

He'd get himself killed running around the island like that! If he ran into Andi and was his old nice guy self, she'd give him the same attitude she'd given Cassidy and... who knows?

"I have to go... I just can't keep waiting like this..."

It sounded more sorrowful than she'd meant it, but she didn't care. She wasn't looking for sympathy, she just needed to find a more productive course of action. She needed herself and Matt to both survive this, she needed time to herself to think.

To the imaginative and optimistic mind of Cassidy Kant, it seemed entirely possible that she could walk away from three potential allies and their powerful firearms and be in a better situation elsewhere. She gripped her toy boat.

"I need to find Matt... good luck..."

She stared at the group between the three others. Her words probably wouldn't make sense to them, and she couldn't afford the time to explain what she truly wanted in the end.

She turned away quickly and found herself running. Tears rolled down her face as she did so. Her crying accelerated as she ran away. Sad she was crying despite having calmed herself down. She was crying because she knew she was being stupid.

The worst part was that she knew her life was ultimately ruined no matter what the outcome of this was. She could never live out her life as a homemaker/author with the handsome and considerate police officer husband in her small but cozy home. But she knew that she could still make the best of this situation, she would just have to accept that she needed to compromise. She couldn't be with him forever, but she could be with him now... and... she could work with that.

((Cassidy Kant continued in This is the Story of a Girl))

Ami blinked.  She didn't catch half of what the boy just said.  M-T-what?  Ami shuffled awkwardly, slumping the corners of her lips.  Trench coat, gun nerd.... The guy was kind of a weirdo.  Not that that was a bad thing.  His behavior wasn't the sort of 'creeper' behavior that normally unnerved her out, but considering the circumstances, guns, killing... Whatever.  If Ruby was cool with him, Ami didn't have any reason to turn away.  

Still.  It was enough to make her look down at her gun, turning it around in her hands.  She furrowed her brows.

"Dunno," she said.  "Are you sure?  This thing looks really... weird."

It was an exaggeration, sure, but take away it's sheer size it looked unrealistic.  Ami was no expert in guns so she couldn't exactly share in Gavin's gungasm but were they supposed to look like this?  Did it even work?  Ami didn't even check to see!  

"It looks like a hand-me-down," Ami concluded with a small nod.

Ami came out of her little corner, still holding the gun in her hands.  She was getting used to the weight of it, though her arms burned whenever she bent her elbows.  Ami never went to the gym her mother belonged to, and she never did Physical Education.  It almost seemed ironic really; the small girl getting a monster gun.  Was that the definition of irony?  She hoped so, she didn't bring a dictionary.  Christ she was tired.

Ami turned to Ruby and smiled, rapping her finger against the gun.

"I guess I should be glad you found me," she admitted.  "If you hadn't shown up, I don't know how long I would have been sitting there."

That was when Ami caught the slightest movement out of the corner of her eye.  When she turned to look, Cassidy was running in the opposite direction.

"Where's she going?"  She asked as Cassidy disappeared out of sight.  She sounded worried, wondering if either she or Ruby did something to offend her.

Well, if you want to eat food that's been out of date since the year 2000, that's fine by me.

It wasn't long after he thanked her for not shooting him that Gavin noticed Ruby's submachine-gun, at which point things began to get somewhat... Awkward.

Unlike some Americans, Ruby was never a huge fan of firearms. Sure, it was always cool to see the protagonists of video games and movies take down hordes of enemies with their big whopping heavy machine-gun, but when it came to reality  she felt the only people who genuinely needed said heavy machine-guns were the trained soldiers they were designed for.

And there was something in particular about how obsessed some of her fellow Americans were with guns that really freaked her out. The kind of gun nuts with sheds stacked to the brim with armamants that would put Rambo to shame, taking pride in how they keep a glock under their pillow just in case some unlucky bastard decided to rob the house belonging to the neighbourhood paranoid schizophrenic. The thought that people like that actually existed and lived in the same country as her made Ruby shudder.

So seeing Gavin go ecstatic over her assigned weapon didn't exactly make her feel comfortable. It was like watching a rabid fanboy find an ultra rare edition of their favourite comic book lying in their backgarden, only the subject of Gavin's affection was a weapon designed to kill people. Not helping matters was the fact that Gavin didn't exactly do a good job of hiding that he would have loved to get his hands on her gun.

Ruby chuckled nervously after Gavin had finished admiring her gun, her face briefly turning to Ami to give her a look that asked 'Is this guy for real?'

He also seemed pretty impressed with Ami's weapon as well, despite her assurance that it looked like a hand-me-down. Whilst Ruby had to agree with Gavin that the gun was more impressive than Ami was giving it credit, the hungry look he gave the gun led her to suspect that given the opportunity he would be more than happy to get his grubby hands on it as well.

"I just... I don't even know anymore. Good god, do you two have any idea how much firepower you currently possess?"

"More than enough firepower to stop anyone who tried to take them from us, that's for certain."

It was at that point that Cassidy suddenly decided to suddenly run off, leaving the three of them to stand still for a moment in stunned silence.

Well, that was... Sudden.

"Uh... Bye?" she said, uncertainly waving Cassidy goodbye as she turned to face Gavin. "Aren't you, like, gonna go after her or something?"

For the first time since he had woken up on the island, Gavin found himself at a loss for words. One moment he was contemplating a future filled with the glorious sound of falling brass, the next he was watching Cassidy running from the building. He half-turned as she fled, reaching out a hand to stop her. But the gesture came far too late, leaving him standing there, arm outstretched, an expression of mingled surprise and sadness etched on his features.

It took Gavin a few seconds to digest the words Cassidy had spoken before her abrupt departure. She had talked about finding somebody else - Matt, who Gavin dimly recalled being her boyfriend back in Seattle. That made sense, but he was still sad to see her go. All he could do now was wish her luck and proceed as best he could on his own. She had been the first person to trust him on the island, and Gavin did not plan to betray the memory of that trust.

"No, I won't go after her." He said quietly in response to Ruby's question. "She has somebody else she needs to be with. I just hope she finds him alive."

His tone was quiet and subdued; for Cassidy's sudden departure had reminded Gavin that there was somebody on the island that he ought to be trying to find with just as much vigour and intensity as she had displayed. His gut twisted, and he swallowed back the lump that was growing in his throat again.

Megan, don't be dead. If you die and leave me behind, I swear I'll harangue your soul through every layer of heaven.

Gavin bit his lip, then turned back to face Ruby and Ami. His expression was slightly haunted, but he steeled his resolve and took a deep breath before addressing the two in the most practical tones he was capable of mustering.

"I apologise about what happened just now. I tend to get carried away at times. But before either of you get it into your heads to leave; I'd like to propose an alliance between the three of us."

Gavin let the words hang in the air for a second or two, partly for effect and partly because he was struggling to think of something more to say. His mind had suddenly kicked into high gear, new ideas surging through his head so fast that he could barely keep up with them. His furrowed brow straightened out, and he suddenly found himself smiling.

"If we stick together we can pool our resources, and I'd be happy to show you how to use your weapons more effectively." He continued effusively, now looking at Ruby directly. "I won't pretend that I wouldn't like one or even both of your guns for myself, but I'd rather have friends than hardware. This shopping centre also has a lot more to offer us than just old food; a lot of useful items will have survived that we could turn into useful equipment. If we worked together, we could haul a lot more of it out of here than if we were alone."

The smile left Gavin's face as he continued to gaze at Ruby, replaced by an earnest expression. Enthusiasm was all well and good, but levity only took you so far in a game like Survival of the Fittest. He wasn't really trying to convince the two anymore, but instead he was speaking as much to himself as to anyone else.

"I put my life on the line to protect Cassidy." He said in a soft tone, breaking eye contact with Ruby to stare at the floor. "I may be seen by the rest of Aurora as a 'weirdo', but I've never betrayed people who trusted in me. I'm not a wide-eyed idealist, but I still have hope, and I won't ever stop trying to build something out of this mess I've found myself in. I want to know I've done something to help others, rather than condemn them. So if nothing else, please believe that when considering me for an ally."

Perhaps, Gavin thought, he'd gone too far. But once he had started speaking, the words wouldn't stop flowing out him like a river. He didn't know if it was a good or bad thing. Perhaps the sincerity would draw Ruby and Ami towards him, or it might push them even further away. Either way, it had been good to let his inner feelings loose for just a few moments. He lifted his head to look at the two girls again, and for a change he felt serene. Whatever happened next, he could feel safe in the knowledge that he had started as he meant to go on.

"Okay," Ami said, rather flatly.  "Well, whatever.  Hope she finds... whoever it is."

The sentiment was real but there was very little enthusiasm.  It was hard to feel enthusiastic, really.

She stood there, shuffling from foot to foot.    Gavin spoke about how he put his life on the line for the other girl.  While that could be considered commendable, it certainly didn't do him any favors in the end.  Cassidy left, and for whatever reason chances are Gavin wasn't about to follow after her.  He also mentioned how he was considered a "weirdo".  Ami smiled at that.  While she certainly not a target of bullying, there was something about what he said that Ami could identify with.

"It's okay.  We believe you.  It's just..." Ami paused.  "Everything's really screwy right now?  I... We can't just trust anyone, you know?  It just wouldn't be smart."

A beat.

"Um, I mean, we know you're cool now but...  Y-You know what I mean."

Which lead inevitable awkward silence.  It had nothing to do with possibly offending either of them.  Conversation was never one of Ami's strong suits.  Normally she would just roll along with the topic at hand, preferably thought up by someone else.  It gave Ami a chance to squeak past without making her various social phobias known.

It was hard to do that when in the midst of a dangerous situation.  Sure, there were a number of topics that she could have chosen, but they all ranged from morbid to downright disgusting.  And Ami had very little interest in discussing guns.  She'd hazard to guess that Gavin might like that branch of topic but Ami was in the same boat as Ruby.  She had absolutely no interest in them, and to her knowledge her parents did not own any firearms.  In fact, she had never seen a gun in real life before, let alone touch one.

Ami rapped her fingers against her gun, a habit that was slowly becoming natural to her.  The dull sounds of her fingers hitting against the stock felt like they had an echo, as strange as that sounded.  She looked down at it.  The fact that she received a big gun at all did not represent a realm of possibility.  It stood only as a simple fact.  

That made Ami think.  How helpful would this gun be?  Could she even use it?  She had no idea.  Was she pretty much.

No, that was silly.  She was jumping to conclusions.

Okay, maybe she won't die right away.  Maybe she'll live to see tomorrow.  

Maybe she'll make it until there's only so many people left.  Maybe they'll take pity on her and let her live.

Or say that she snaps.  She would turn into a shell of her former self and commit human atrocities against her own classmates until she was the only one left alive.

Or she could always just kill herself.  That was easier.

Or maybe someone will slit her throat so they could take her gun.

Maybe she would let them kill her.

Or maybe no one would kill anyone and her collar would explode.

Ami felt woozy.  She looked away from Ruby and Gavin, and that was when she noticed a camera hovering over the entrance door.  She was on TV.

Death was not pretty.  Ami had seen a couple of Lifetime Made-For-TV movies in her life, where they sugar coat it.  No long serenades, no tearful goodbyes, no passionate revenge fantasies.  Death just happened.  Bam, you're dead.  Ami knew this better than anyone else.  She also knew that it could happen anywhere, at anytime, involving anything.  And yet...  It was all really disgusting in the context she found herself.   Ami had always seen death from a clean, anti-septic viewpoint.  She could only recall one instance of an unnatural death, but it wasn't like she looked at cadavers every day of the year!  That was her uncle's job, and her father's, not hers. Blood, guts, body parts, they handled that.  Ami's hands were clean.

But wasn't the dead deer enough to desensitize her?  Couldn't she just get used to it, like a cold shower, like a needle prick, like injecting blood?

Blood.  Ami was thinking about blood.  Why was she thinking about blood?  There was bound to be blood all over the walls when all of this was over.  

She wanted to not think about blood.  She wanted to go home.   She didn't want her blood, someone else's blood, Gavin's, Ruby's, Mallory's, Maynard's =

Her stomach churned.  Ami kept herself upright, swallowing back a dry heave potent enough to send her reeling.  She quickly snapped her head back at Ruby.

"Um, Ruby?" Ami stammered.  "Listen, I dropped my bag back there?  I'm... just going to go grab it and come back.  Okay?"

Ami quickly spun around and walked away before Ruby could leave.

(Karen Idel advancing from Level 2)

Certainty is uncomfortable.

We pretend otherwise.  We pretend that we like the routine, the dull, the humdrum.  That we like things the way they are.  We want tradition, or something like it.  

But certainty is certain.  It is not vague.  It is not doubtful.  There is no give to certainty.

Like certain defeat.  There's nothing valiant in struggling against an unbeatable opponent.  There was just futility.  She hated games like that--games where you couldn't possibly win, no matter what you did.  Where the computer left her even the slightest bit of wiggle room she'd try her best, train until her team was too powerful, powerful enough to sweep the rest of the game.

And then each battle became an equal measure of certainty, and that was boring too, because who wanted to face endless assurance of victory?  Where was the fun, the thrill, the challenge in facing enemies you were certain to beat.

No, we all crave a little wiggle room.  A little doubt.  It's the spice that makes the routine and predictable delicious.  It makes you wonder, at any given moment, if something could explode, could twist, could change into a new and unexpected thing.  Losing or winning.

But as far as Karen could see, there wasn't any doubt.  She might win.  She might lose.  But every outcome ended in her death.

She distracted herself as she walked by scribbling out rough notes, ostensibly to pass along to others as messages to her parents.  But not a single note contained a single word to them.  Good idea?  Bad?  She couldn't be sure.  She didn't know if there was anything to say to her parents.  Thanks for leaving me alone?  Thanks for falling out of love so I had to watch you guys destroy yourselves?

No.  Better to stay focused.  There was no world outside the island.  There was just her and her chosen enemy.  Here and her certain death.

God, her chest felt tight.

Focus.

The reactor would be an ideal defensive position, or so she assumed--she'd have to investigate it later.  But her principal focus had to be on gathering a team who could actually enact her plan.  It would be difficult to implement it all by written notes, but there was no other way.

She had about twelve notes done by the time she meandered towards the shopping center.  Stopped right in one of the doors.  Opened her mouth to speak and found she didn't have the breath she needed to make works.

So she closed her mouth.  Closed her eyes, too.  Took a deep breath, forcing the air into her lungs.  She was going to die.  But if she didn't take risks now, she'd die long before she could put her plan into action.

"Hello?" she called.

Wait, was he... Was Gavin just going to let Cassidy run off all on her own?

Ruby couldn't believe what she was hearing. Surely Gavin realised that Cassidy stood a better chance of getting herself killed than she did of finding this Matt guy all on her own? The girl was clearly not thinking straight, running off by herself instead of sticking with people who could watch out for her. Sure, Ruby would personally prefer to go solo, but that was mainly because she actually had a gun on her. Cassidy on the other hand was only armed with a plastic boat, so all she was really achieving was making herself an easier target.

Ruby assumed that all of this would have been blatantly obvious. But from the looks of things, the thought hadn't even crossed Gavin's mind that Cassidy might be better off sticking with them. He couldn't be that thoughtless, could he? He had to know that letting her go off on her own was essentially sentencing her to death.

Come to think about it, why the hell weren't they going after her? Like, right now? Probably because Cassidy was already long gone by the time Ruby realised that Gavin had no intention of going after her. Had she realised that was the case sooner, she would have bolted after the poor girl immediately.

So why did Gavin let Cassidy go that easily? What did she and Ami have which Cassidy didn't?

Oh, right.

Suddenly, it all became clear. Ruby was surprised she hadn't realised it sooner. And sure enough, barely seconds after letting his defenceless ally run off to get herself killed did Gavin start proposing an alliance with the two girls who actually had decent weapons on them.

It made sense to a certain degree. After all, it was more pragmatic to align oneself with people with good weapons than it was to stick with a girl with no means of defending herself. That said, Ruby could only just about hide her disgust with the boy standing in front of her. He didn't care about Cassidy at all, did he? Why worry about one meatshield when he could befriend two with guns?

Thankfully, Ami didn't seem to be fond of this idea either, although Ruby was uncertain as to whether she had caught on to Gavin's ulterior motives. In any case, she wanted to go back and grab her stuff. Good, that meant Ruby could have a private chat with Gavin whilst she was out of earshot.

"Cool, I'll just wait here."

As Ami swiftly moved away, Ruby turned her attention back to Gavin.

"Hmm, that's an interesting proposition you've got there. Not going to lie, it would nice to be shown how to properly use this by someone who actually knows what they're doing. Hell, I've hardly a clue as to how the heck I'm supposed to reload the damn thing."

She bit her lip, pausing for a moment as she began to doubt the decision she was about to make. Truth be told, a part of her did want to believe that Gavin would make for a useful ally. He obviously knew a lot more about her gun than she did, so at the very least he could teach her how to use it effectively. Hell, if he had either Ami or her own guns at his disposal, he could make for a good bodyguard himself.

The problem with that train of logic though was that Gavin had already proven himself to be completely unreliable.

"But, I'm afraid my answer to your offer is no, on account of the fact that there's no way in hell I can trust you."

She looked straight into his eyes, gripping her gun tightly in case he decided to make a move as she continued talking.

"Let me get this straight: Instead of going after Cassidy - Your friend who, might I add, is armed with only with a plastic toy - and making sure that she doesn't get herself killed looking for this Matt guy, you'd much rather try to befriend the two girls with big guns you just met who barely ten minutes ago were threatening to shoot you? Sounds to me like the only reason you want us to be your friends is so that you can have your own pair of personal bodyguards you could toss aside the moment you no longer need them."

The longer she spoke, the angrier she was beginning to get with this boy. How dare he claim to have protected Cassidy after letting her go off on her own like that, knowing damn well that there would be plenty of people on the island who would be more than happy to take advantage of a distraught girl desperately seeking her boyfriend?

"For all your talk of helping others and putting your life on the line, you've pretty much just condemned Cassidy to death by deciding to not follow her. And why would you? She didn't have a decent weapon on her after all, so why bother making sure she's safe when there's two well-armed girls you could coax into being your personal meat shields instead? I'm surprised now that you'd even bothered putting yourself in the line of fire when you clearly never had any intention of making sure she was safe."

Of course, the thought did cross her mind that she was making a lot of assumptions. Maybe he genuinely hadn't realised how helpless Cassidy would be on her own? Maybe he did care about her, and assumed that she would be more than capable of looking after herself? And by distancing herself from him, all she was achieving was making an enemy out of someone who could potentially be an extremely useful ally. Was that a risk she was willing to make?

Then again, which was more risky? Going solo, or teaming up with a boy who may be more than happy to let her rot if it meant getting a chance to grab her gun?

"Don't get me wrong, I want to believe you. I want to believe that with your help, I could actually learn how to use this stupid gun properly. But after seeing how easily you would let one of your allies run off to face certain danger just so you could assure your own safety, I cannot in all good conscience bring myself to trust you. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe we would make for an unstoppable team. But how am I meant to know that you won't leave me for dead the moment you get the chance, just so you could get your hands on the gun you've been coveting since the moment we met? Useful ally or not, I cannot take that risk."

She took a step back and quickly glanced back at Ami, who at that point was returning with her bag, making sure to not keep her eye off Gavin for too long. It wouldn't surprise her if he decided to take this opportunity to lose all pretences and try to tackle her to wrestle the gun out of her grip.

"Now then, I don't know about you, but I'm going to go make sure that poor girl doesn't get herself killed. Doub't I'll be able to catch up with her by this point, but hell, unlike some people I'm going to at least make some attempt at keeping that girl safe."

She turned back to Ami, who at that point had just returned.

"Well, I'm heading off. Ami, you're free to come with me if you want, or you could stick with Gavin to loot an empty building. Choice is yours."

As they started walking off, she turned to Gavin and shot him one last glare. Then, without further ado, the two girls left the building far behind them.

((Ruby Forrester continued in Check Out My New Weapon, Weapon of Choice))

Failure.

It was the only thought left in Gavin's head as he watched Ruby march from the building. His expression had not changed throughout her vitriolic tirade, nor had he offered any complaint or argument throughout.

Really, what would have been the point?

In other circumstances, Gavin would have enjoyed this kind of argument. Nothing was as intellectually engaging as a heated debate, but Ruby wasn't giving him the chance to present a counter-argument, she was just walking away without a backwards glance.

That act of dismissal stung him worse than her words; the fact that she wouldn't let him defend himself. That had hurt, far more than her accusations and her insults had done. Given just two minutes of her time, he was certain he could have presented a persuasive argument in his defence against all her claims. Had Ruby not imagined that he hadn't gone after Cassidy straight away because with her help, it would've been a lot easier to track her down and provide protection for her? Had she not perceived that it was more important to establish a strong team before rushing off into a dangerous situation?

Had she not perceived that it wasn't his god-damned fault if a girl decided to abandon him and rush off into the wilds with a queen-sized idiot ball clutched firmly to her breast?

Gavin was not petty enough to be angry at Cassidy. He understood her reasons for leaving, but he couldn't help but despise her thought process right at that moment. She had ruined everything by walking out like that, and worst of all, he would now feel responsible if she got an axe to the back of the head for her actions.

Alright, maybe he was just petty enough to be angry at her, a little bit. Either way, there wasn't much that could be done about it right now. Gavin recalled to mind a saying his mother had been quite fond of; holding a grudge is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. Those had been wise words, but they didn't help control the pain in his gut.

Still, there might be a way to salvage something out of this failure. Gavin knew it probably wouldn't work, but something pushed him to try anyway. It was one thing to act and live with failure, quite another not to try at all.

As Ami moved tried to move past him, Gavin put out the hand holding his lead pipe in front of her. He didn't bar her path, just presented enough of an obstacle to make her pause for a moment, allowing him a last few words to her in comparative private.

"I know my advice probably isn't welcome, but leave that gun behind. You don't want to be lugging forty pounds around the island with your build, and it has over four times the recoil of a Desert Eagle, a gun that can knock a grown man on his ass."

At this point, Gavin lifted his other hand to his forehead and parted the hairs on his right eyebrow, revealing the white scar that was his eternal reminder of underestimating Russian workmanship.

"Take it from somebody who underestimated recoil once and has the scar to prove it; the only thing you'll do if you try and use that gun is break both your own shoulders, if it doesn't just explode from mishandling. Take my pipe instead, and I'll return the favour by keeping an eye out for you in future. Maybe you'll need another friend out there, and you won't go wrong if you have somebody like me watching over you."

He smiled softly at Ami, moving to one side to allow her to leave the building without further interruption if she so wished. He was quite ready to give her the lead pipe in exchange for the huge, heavy machine-gun. He doubted that she would do so, but felt that he had a duty to try one last time. The thought of her frail body exposed to the monstrous power of the machine gun was not one he wanted to contemplate.

Amusingly, throughout all of Ruby's rant, and his subsequent plea, Gavin had completely missed the tentative voice coming from near the doors.

Ami did not run off to catch her bag.  She was never a great liar but with the way she stormed off it made cross-examining difficult.

No, the main reason she stormed off was because she felt almost ready to vomit.  And the second she turned the corner into an aisle, she doubled over onto her knees and slapped her hand over her mouth.

It was then that Ami realized that she had nothing in her stomach to regurgitate.  The best that she could do was a weak dryheave.  Pain still wracked her body though, and the drive heaves in her chest threatened to pull her stomach up through her throat.  She felt like she was about to die.

"Calm down," Ami told herself.  "Calm down, calm down..."

She managed to control herself to the best of her abilities.  Blood and gore were things that disgusted even her, the daughter of the 'crypt keeper', who had walked in on her father and uncle fixing corpses several times. She tried to put it all out of her mind though and it worked. Ami felt sick. Her knees shook as she stood up.  She braced the shelf until she felt strong enough to walk again.  Gathering her things was an easy enough task.  

Eventually she joined the others at the front, and to her surprise, Ruby was ready to roll out.  Ruby was out the door before Ami could stop her.  Ami stood there, slowly turning to look at Gavin. 

That was when he started talking.  A proposition. The gun for his pipe.

Ami looked down at her gun.  Gavin suggested that she might hurt herself.  He said she would break her shoulders.  The images began to run again.  It was entirely possible. Gavin made it sound logical.  But Ami knew for a fact that it wasn't.

And the way he spoke, like she was a fool who was in over her head.

Ami's smile waned.  Her eyes grew cold.

"You're right," Ami said, flatly.  "Your advice isn't welcome.  So maybe you should keep it to your own damn self?"

Awkward silences were the bane of Ami's existence.  This one in particular made Ami want to curl up into a ball and just lay on the floor. The problem was that she didn't think before she spoke. It took her a minute to realize just she had just said.  

Her eyes dilated.  She swallowed.

"... Take care."

Ami looked over her shoulder the second she walked out of the grocery store.  She didn't even care of Gavin saw her.  While Gavin might have thought it beneficial, and he made it sound that way, it was entirely illogical.

Or maybe The Fonz just creeped the heck out of her, and his gun fetish. 

As possible breaking both shoulders seemed, it was equally possible that Gavin would just take her gun and mow down half of the class with it.

That was, if the gun actually worked.

Worry about that later.

Ami felt herself relax when she lost sight of Gavin.  Breathing a sigh of relief, she readjusted the bag on her shoulder.  She was so focused on watching her back that she nearly bumped into someone on the way out of the actual shopping center.

"Oh!"  Ami blinked. "I'm sorry." 

A girl named Karen.  She remembered her from one of her classes.  They never spoke.  She smiled nervously, combing the hair out of her eyes.  Karen looked spooked even before Ami came plodding out of the grocery store.  She held the bag tighter.

"There's nothing in there," she said, shuffling around the girl.  "Unlabeled cans and stuff.  Me and Ruby, we're going to head out.  I don't know if, um, you want to come along.  You don't have to.  Just, yeah..."

She blinked, feeling the awkward tension washing over her.  Ami began to shuffle past until she was already out of the door.

"Don't," Ami said.  "Go into the grocery store, actually. Just take my advice?"

Then she was off, stumbling out the doorway.  She saw Ruby off in the distance, and she quickly followed after her.

(Ami Flynn continued in Check Out My New Weapon, Weapon of Choice.)

"W-wait!" Karen started, turning after the girl, but she was already far and away, and not looking back.  Karen considered yelling louder or running after her, then shook her head; she was already tired and aching from her long walk.  Didn't want to trigger an attack.  At least, not yet.

But that made her nervous.  Why not go into the grocery store?  What was waiting for her there?  A corpse?  A trap?

Which would be worse, the body of a fellow student or something meant to harm her?

Something meant to harm me.  People are stupid, and mean.  Some of them are going to die.

Right.  No saving everyone.  Probably not even any chance of saving herself.  Had to keep on moving.

So.  She sidled around the grocery store, ignoring the advice of that girl she vaguely recognized.  One glimpse was enough for her to actually recognize the person standing opposite.

Gavin liked to think he was a strategist.  Some kind of neophyte intellectual on the edge of society.  They'd matched wits a couple of times, mostly via Starcraft.   Truth was, he wasn't a very good opponent; most of the time he got distracted trying something new, some new counter to a tested strategy, and most of the time it failed.

He had beaten her a handful of times, though.  When he'd tried something genuinely unexpected.  A flood of probes and nothing but, produced so quickly that they'd overwhelmed her base before she had even a single zealot ready.  Allowing his base to be destroyed save for an outpost she didn't find, then quickly destroying her with an aerial army she never saw.

Innovative.  And stronger than she was too.

"Gavin," she said, letting a little tremble creep into her voice.

Oh well, it was worth a try.

For a few moments after Ami left, Gavin wondered seriously to himself if he wasn't destined to wander round the island repeating this same scene ad-infinity. The confrontation had left him feeling tired and depressed. He already had enough emotional baggage on his shoulders as it was, the last thing he needed was to be treated like an enemy by people he had only been trying to help.

Help. Help them to do what, though? SoTF was a game with only one winner, after all. It wouldn't have mattered if Ruby and Ami had pledged their eternal loyalty to him, and the three had marched out of the shopping centre loaded down with enough supplies to last the entire stay on the island. In the end, they would have been forced to turn on each-other like rabid dogs.

In the end, this game has no winners, just those who lose the least, like the dead.

The misery Gavin thought he had managed to excise by his quick heart-to-heart with Kimberly earlier welled up inside of him again. He still wasn't afraid to die, but the thought of wandering amidst the bodies of his fellow students, watching senseless sacrifice after senseless sacrifice, all for one person to go home was more than be could bear. He could take the death in his stride, but the humiliation, the ignominy... that was another matter entirely.

Just as Gavin felt the tears starting to prick his eyes, a voice directly behind him spoke his name aloud. He turned and saw that whilst his attention had been turned inwards, a new figure had crept up to the entrance of the grocery store. By now his eyes were fully accustomed to the gloom that pervaded the unlit building, so he had little difficulty identifying who it was stood before him.

It was Karen Idel, a girl Gavin knew primarily from the internet and his brief but eventful forays into the world of real-time strategy. She was about as utterly unimposing as it was possible to get, but he still respected her for having a keen intellect and a dedication to her chosen field of expertise that rivalled his own. If only she was just a little less unprepossessing...

For a moment he just stood there, staring at her, trying to think what to say. He was slightly wary of Karen. She was clever, but also duplicitous and potentially manipulative. Yet despite this, Gavin found himself relieved to find her. At least he was talking to somebody he considered capable of productive conversation. He swallowed back the lump that had been growing in his throat and managed a smile.

"As I live and breathe, if it isn't Karen Idel." He said the words with as much appreciation as he could muster. "What brings you to this gloomy latitude, been looking for supplies?"

So.  Gavin.  Smart, but arrogant.  Distant.  Kind of a prick.  But innovative, that was the important thing.  Maybe innovative enough to do what she couldn't.

She gave a shaky laugh.  "I can barely carry this bag," she said.  "I don't think loading myself'll do me any good.  Probably just kill me faster."

That was good, establish the tone.  Resigned to her own death.  Had to seem like she was planning to die.

Well, maybe she was.  But not like this.

She turned her head from side to side.  "No one else here?" she asked, but obviously there wasn't, or if there was, they were hiding for some reason.  Really she just wanted to look for any obvious cameras.  Nothing leapt out at her.

"Gavin," she said quietly.  "You, uh...you know how to fight, right?  Well..."  She laughed nervously.  "Better than me, anyways."  She fished one of the torn pieces of paper from her notebook and offered it to him.  "I, uh...my parents...I'm not going to make it out of here."  And those words hurt, but she said them, and she didn't have to fake the catch in her voice.  

"So...I was wondering if you would mind...you know.  If you make it out."

Her mouth flickered between a smile and a grimace.  The note did, in fact, have a first paragraph dedicated to her parents, apologizing for being too distant.  The rest, however, was nothing so innocent.

I believe we can escape.  I'm trying to gather people for that purpose.  But I need someone who knows technology.  If you think you can help, meet at the coast tomorrow night.  I think that would be the hardest area to monitor.  I'll gather as many people as I can.  If anyone use the phrase, "You surviving?" answer, "Wish we weren't here."  And if you come up with a plan tomorrow, say, "I think we can make it" when we meet tomorrow.  We have to keep this as covert and quiet as possible.  If you'd like to be help, scratch your chin.  If not, cross your arms.

"W-would you mind reading it?" she asked.  "I...you know.  So that if...if you lose it you can..."  She trailed off and sank to the ground.  "God, I'm sorry.  This is just...kinda heavy, you know?"

Gavin tried to think of something reassuring to say as Karen handed him the note. He didn't like to see her in distress, but he knew anything he said would most likely come off as condescending. Karen was an intelligent girl; she was just as capable as he was of comprehending the reality of their situation. Trying to sugar-coat things for her would be insulting.

He obediently opened the note as Karen had asked, squinting slightly as he scanned the contents. It was hard to read in the gloomy building, but not impossible. The first paragraph was exactly what he'd expected, and it felt strangely voyeuristic to be reading what was effectively the last will and testament of the girl sat before him.

Then his eyes reached the second paragraph, and it took a considerable amount of his self-control not to show a physical reaction to the words that he found himself reading.

I believe we can escape...

She believes we can escape.

It was all too much to comprehend at once. Gavin had forced himself not to think about escaping precisely for this reason; it was too much pressure on his already unstable psyche. He still hadn't gotten a decent weapon, still hadn't started looking for Megan yet. One thing at a time, one idea at a time... if only the universe would have the decency to be that simple.

He drew a deep breath. "Thank you. For trusting me with this, that is."

It was a rather inadequate response, but the best Gavin could do under the circumstances. He carefully folded up the scrap of paper and slipped it into a pocket of his Trenchcoat. She had taken a risk writing this, and he chided himself for being wary of her before.

"I'll do my best to see to it that this gets home." He muttered after a moment's pause. "I might not be the bearer, but maybe the winner of this version will be another Kimberly and see it safe to where it belongs."

There seemed little else to say on that subject, at least nothing that he trusted himself to say. Instead he turned slightly to one side to gaze deeper into the shopping centre, lifting one hand to scratch at his chin as he did so. To his surprise he realised that he was already sporting a fine crop of stubble, and the itchiness of the stiff bristles made scratching an irresistible compulsion. For once, Gavin was grateful for the tenacity with which his beard grew.

"You just missed the other people that were here." He said in a more conversational voice. "I was just about to grab some supplies and head to town for more, maybe find a decent weapon along the way."

Gavin looked back at Karen, still sat on the floor, and suddenly a thought struck him. "Say, if you happen to meet a girl called Megan Emerson, could you tell her where I've gone? It's important that I find her, she's the only other girl I know on the island that can handle a firearm."

He hoped that Karen would take the hint present in his words, but even if she didn't, he trusted her to relay his words should she happen to stumble across Megan before he did. Finding her was his top priority at the moment, but it wouldn't hurt to have others around who could let her know where he was.