Re: Hearts of Irony
Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2019 3:56 am
Was there anything else he needed to be saying? Probably not. Even if something had come to mind, it was too late for that now, Alessio had just quit the call. Most likely for the best, who knew if he hadn't made it worse with more talk.
Maxim leaned back in his desk chair, firmly pressing his back against the backrest as if he was trying to push through it. He licked his lips, staring at the screensaver of his desktop for what seemed like minutes to him, at least in his head. It had probably only been seconds, but with his mind being unusually empty for once, almost a blank, a mere void, he felt like he had lost track of space and time for a short duration. Only then did he notice that he was still wearing his headphones, promptly brushing them off his head with a swipe of the hand.
It started to feel like his neck was cramping, courtesy of not moving his head around for probably far too long. So he looked to the right, at his most sacred resting place. His bed was in a total disarray, sheet and blanket rumpled and clearly looking like they were in need of changing and probably contributing to the staleness of the air in the room as well. Ugh, how he hated having to change it by himself, sorely missed were the times where his dad would take that burden off his shoulders. Begging for him to that job today, only today, that was still an option. But no, even he wasn't that lazy, this was a matter of pride. His dad had enough to deal with as it was.
But even so, with his mood having received a serious blow, he felt like the effects of said blow were already beginning to wear off. He couldn't quite describe it, but the sudden angst that had gotten hold of him seemed to be supplanted by a different sentiment entirely. He was still slightly annoyed, yes, but that wasn't because of that whole business with Alessio. To be honest, he did feel almost at peace, an idle, hollow form of peace, but peace nonetheless. So much at peace that he was willing to ignore the fact that his bed clearly needed a cleaning of some sort and simply threw himself on the musty sheets, no regrets.
Tired, that was how he felt now. Not anxious, not resentful towards himself, just tired. It wasn't hard to see why that was, both him being tired and having shaken off that overwhelming negativity rather quickly. It was because he was by himself now. No longer having to worry how to act, what to say, he was alone with only his own thoughts and a few lonely socks lying around to keep him company. And quite honestly, he preferred it that way. He wasn't needed elsewhere, not by Al or anyone else, so he was content just being here. At least for that moment.
Nodding off was looking awfully tempting now.
"Match of chess? Well, sure, don't see why not. I don't have a better idea anyway, so let's go with that."
The game hadn't even started yet and he was already making a mistake. The mistake being him conceding that easily. Of all the possible games, chess. Sure, they played that every once in a while, but it was the same each time, with him not being able to enjoy himself, at all. Alessio seemed to really be into it though. Probably wouldn't have proposed to play it otherwise, time after time.
Well, it was too late now. He had agreed, now he had to live with that. Hopefully, those new chips his dad had bought would be something for him to smile about. Didn't sound like they were going to be, but once could never know. He'd save them for a later time though. Munching away right at the beginning didn't feel right, he had only just eaten a short while ago. About...an hour ago, yes, since it was 3:30 now, at least according to his taskbar's time display.
"Go ahead, open up a new game, I'll join."
Maxim leaned back in his desk chair, firmly pressing his back against the backrest as if he was trying to push through it. He licked his lips, staring at the screensaver of his desktop for what seemed like minutes to him, at least in his head. It had probably only been seconds, but with his mind being unusually empty for once, almost a blank, a mere void, he felt like he had lost track of space and time for a short duration. Only then did he notice that he was still wearing his headphones, promptly brushing them off his head with a swipe of the hand.
It started to feel like his neck was cramping, courtesy of not moving his head around for probably far too long. So he looked to the right, at his most sacred resting place. His bed was in a total disarray, sheet and blanket rumpled and clearly looking like they were in need of changing and probably contributing to the staleness of the air in the room as well. Ugh, how he hated having to change it by himself, sorely missed were the times where his dad would take that burden off his shoulders. Begging for him to that job today, only today, that was still an option. But no, even he wasn't that lazy, this was a matter of pride. His dad had enough to deal with as it was.
But even so, with his mood having received a serious blow, he felt like the effects of said blow were already beginning to wear off. He couldn't quite describe it, but the sudden angst that had gotten hold of him seemed to be supplanted by a different sentiment entirely. He was still slightly annoyed, yes, but that wasn't because of that whole business with Alessio. To be honest, he did feel almost at peace, an idle, hollow form of peace, but peace nonetheless. So much at peace that he was willing to ignore the fact that his bed clearly needed a cleaning of some sort and simply threw himself on the musty sheets, no regrets.
Tired, that was how he felt now. Not anxious, not resentful towards himself, just tired. It wasn't hard to see why that was, both him being tired and having shaken off that overwhelming negativity rather quickly. It was because he was by himself now. No longer having to worry how to act, what to say, he was alone with only his own thoughts and a few lonely socks lying around to keep him company. And quite honestly, he preferred it that way. He wasn't needed elsewhere, not by Al or anyone else, so he was content just being here. At least for that moment.
Nodding off was looking awfully tempting now.
"Match of chess? Well, sure, don't see why not. I don't have a better idea anyway, so let's go with that."
The game hadn't even started yet and he was already making a mistake. The mistake being him conceding that easily. Of all the possible games, chess. Sure, they played that every once in a while, but it was the same each time, with him not being able to enjoy himself, at all. Alessio seemed to really be into it though. Probably wouldn't have proposed to play it otherwise, time after time.
Well, it was too late now. He had agreed, now he had to live with that. Hopefully, those new chips his dad had bought would be something for him to smile about. Didn't sound like they were going to be, but once could never know. He'd save them for a later time though. Munching away right at the beginning didn't feel right, he had only just eaten a short while ago. About...an hour ago, yes, since it was 3:30 now, at least according to his taskbar's time display.
"Go ahead, open up a new game, I'll join."