He placed his hand against her back and she snuggled in closer. Her focus on enjoying their moment of reunion. Somehow despite everything that said otherwise: common sense, probability, the law of averages, the fact both of them were dumb unfit bitches; they had managed to find each other.
Like there was ever any doubt.
Then he mentioned Andy.
Forrest knew the gist of what happened. As much as the terrorists allowed them to know. But she knew the important facts.
“Yeah, I uh heard,” There was a pause. “I kinda maybe lost it for a bit when I did.”
we found shelter in the woods and found savage acts hilarious
Day 9, PM before entry
"...Yeah, I kinda figured," Abe said, like an idiot, and he tried to make up for it by giving her a comforting squeeze, obviously being mindful of her broken arm.
"I'm sorry. Axel and Hel were pretty torn up about it, too," he said, conveniently leaving himself out of the equation, not like on purpose, it wasn't the time or place to speak ambivalently about the dead, but he wasn't gonna bring it up, y'know? None of that shit mattered anymore.
"So. How've you been holding up? Anyone try to fuck with you?" In his heart, Abe wanted to talk about literally anything else, but he didn't have a choice, because what the fuck else was there to talk about that wouldn't ring immediately hollow? Only one of them was getting out alive.
"I'm sorry. Axel and Hel were pretty torn up about it, too," he said, conveniently leaving himself out of the equation, not like on purpose, it wasn't the time or place to speak ambivalently about the dead, but he wasn't gonna bring it up, y'know? None of that shit mattered anymore.
"So. How've you been holding up? Anyone try to fuck with you?" In his heart, Abe wanted to talk about literally anything else, but he didn't have a choice, because what the fuck else was there to talk about that wouldn't ring immediately hollow? Only one of them was getting out alive.
"I've been..." Forrest stopped and looked at the art surrounding them as she thought of the best response before finally settling on the truth.
"I've been alright. Dropped my bag off the lookout when I woke up, convinced a bunch of people to help me get it back, then managed to end up leading a group." She pointed dismissively in the direction Christina had disappeared in. "Christina was the last of them, 'cause it kinda fell apart."
"But I found you so," She returned his embrace with her own arms, linking her fingers at his lower back. "I think I made up for it."
"I've been alright. Dropped my bag off the lookout when I woke up, convinced a bunch of people to help me get it back, then managed to end up leading a group." She pointed dismissively in the direction Christina had disappeared in. "Christina was the last of them, 'cause it kinda fell apart."
"But I found you so," She returned his embrace with her own arms, linking her fingers at his lower back. "I think I made up for it."
"Hell yeah. I bet everyone is kinda falling apart at this point in the game, but stick with me babe, we're gonna go far."
How far? Who knew. Who needed to know? If they both made it to the end alive, well, that'd be a miracle already, wouldn't it? And maybe they could pull off another miracle, and make it out together.
It was obviously fucking delusional but when Abe was holding his girlfriend he preferred not to think about killing her. He thought that was pretty universal, y'know.
"You need any food or bandages or anything? I've got a little extra to spare. For reasons." He doubted that Forrest would judge him for literally anything, but, like, the guilty shreds of his conscience didn't want to say the quiet part out loud yet.
How far? Who knew. Who needed to know? If they both made it to the end alive, well, that'd be a miracle already, wouldn't it? And maybe they could pull off another miracle, and make it out together.
It was obviously fucking delusional but when Abe was holding his girlfriend he preferred not to think about killing her. He thought that was pretty universal, y'know.
"You need any food or bandages or anything? I've got a little extra to spare. For reasons." He doubted that Forrest would judge him for literally anything, but, like, the guilty shreds of his conscience didn't want to say the quiet part out loud yet.
Forrest nodded at Abe's suggestion. Her gaunt frame should have given all the information she needed to make an informed decision. Abe had a surplus of supplies and while she had supplies she hadn't been using them. Her body showing the signs of that as it slowly deteriorated due to neglect. Despite all of that her immediate thought was to reject his offer, but that didn't make any sense. After all the time she had spent searching for him, they had spent searching for each other. She was allowed to enjoy the reunion.
"Yeah, food and drink would be good."
She released her grip and used her good hand to brush a long tangled clump of multicolored hair out of her face. She looked at him and blinked, thinking of the best way to broach the subject. There was only one piece of information she wanted to hear, one piece she felt like she required.
"I uh, I want you to know that," She was looking into Abe's eyes and maybe it was guilt because she knew how painful it would be for him or maybe it was cowardice trying to convince her not to tell him. But back in his hotel room on the trip she'd had the chance before bitching out and she didn't know if she'd get the chance again. So she resolved to tell Abe the truth.
"Back at prom," Another pause because for once she was dealing with someone who she cared about and who cared about her, and there was no going back from what she said.
"I made out with Andy."
"Yeah, food and drink would be good."
She released her grip and used her good hand to brush a long tangled clump of multicolored hair out of her face. She looked at him and blinked, thinking of the best way to broach the subject. There was only one piece of information she wanted to hear, one piece she felt like she required.
"I uh, I want you to know that," She was looking into Abe's eyes and maybe it was guilt because she knew how painful it would be for him or maybe it was cowardice trying to convince her not to tell him. But back in his hotel room on the trip she'd had the chance before bitching out and she didn't know if she'd get the chance again. So she resolved to tell Abe the truth.
"Back at prom," Another pause because for once she was dealing with someone who she cared about and who cared about her, and there was no going back from what she said.
"I made out with Andy."
They separated, and it’d all be downhill from there, right? The thought was fuckin’ stupid, because there was literally nothing stopping Abe from just hugging Forrest again later, but, like, it still felt that way, ‘cause she obviously had something serious to say that was gonna ruin the vibes.
She said it.
“Oh,” Abe said. It wasn’t a tiny, weeping ‘oh’, the sound of a heart cracking into glass shards. It was a flat ‘oh’, like someone told him they saw his mom in the park yesterday and she said hi. Like, what was he even supposed to do with that information? How was he supposed to feel?
Things would obviously be different if she’d told him on the trip, when they’d been having their nice little heart-to-heart in his hotel bedroom, but, like, that was a lifetime ago. Now it was like running his hand under a slightly-too-hot faucet when he was already being spitroasted in Hell.
“Weird. The hell’d you do that for?” More than anything else he was just curious, like he was listening to gossip about people he didn’t know and all he cared about was hearing the funny details.
“I mean, like, Axel made out with me a couple days ago, but I think that was just ‘cause his brain was bleeding out his ears, haha, but, like, I didn’t stop him, and Andy’s lying in the woods with a stick through his eye, so,” he rambled, regretting everything he said the instant it left his mouth, but still not like, stopping.
“I think in the end everything’s even?”
She said it.
“Oh,” Abe said. It wasn’t a tiny, weeping ‘oh’, the sound of a heart cracking into glass shards. It was a flat ‘oh’, like someone told him they saw his mom in the park yesterday and she said hi. Like, what was he even supposed to do with that information? How was he supposed to feel?
Things would obviously be different if she’d told him on the trip, when they’d been having their nice little heart-to-heart in his hotel bedroom, but, like, that was a lifetime ago. Now it was like running his hand under a slightly-too-hot faucet when he was already being spitroasted in Hell.
“Weird. The hell’d you do that for?” More than anything else he was just curious, like he was listening to gossip about people he didn’t know and all he cared about was hearing the funny details.
“I mean, like, Axel made out with me a couple days ago, but I think that was just ‘cause his brain was bleeding out his ears, haha, but, like, I didn’t stop him, and Andy’s lying in the woods with a stick through his eye, so,” he rambled, regretting everything he said the instant it left his mouth, but still not like, stopping.
“I think in the end everything’s even?”
Abe's reaction was muted. At first, she didn't know what to make of his response or whether he was going to say anything else. For a moment she thought his monosyllable response would be all she got. But just she thought about saying something else he spoke up again and rambled about Axel and Andy in vivid detail.
She took a step back and awkwardly rubbed at the shorter portion of her hair.
"Why would you say that?" She asked quietly, doing everything she could to avoid looking at Abe.
She took a step back and awkwardly rubbed at the shorter portion of her hair.
"Why would you say that?" She asked quietly, doing everything she could to avoid looking at Abe.
"I don't fucking know man, why does anyone say anything?" Abe said, growing increasingly frustrated but mostly at himself, but like, maybe a little bit with Forrest too? She started it, he thought, and that thought was voiced by a petulant kindergartner, but self-awareness was the first step in a long road and he was still looking backwards, metaphorically. He wished he was looking backwards literally, too, instead of looking at Forrest not looking at him.
"Maybe I said it for the same reason you did, huh? 'Cause, like, I saw all that shit with my eyes, and now it just, lives in my head forever, and I'm living in my head too, so, shit, man, y'know? It happens."
Abe hoped that she knew what he meant, because he didn't? He was trying. He really was trying. He wasn't not sure if this being his best reflected worse on him than if he hadn't been trying at all, though.
"Maybe I said it for the same reason you did, huh? 'Cause, like, I saw all that shit with my eyes, and now it just, lives in my head forever, and I'm living in my head too, so, shit, man, y'know? It happens."
Abe hoped that she knew what he meant, because he didn't? He was trying. He really was trying. He wasn't not sure if this being his best reflected worse on him than if he hadn't been trying at all, though.
Forrest threw up her hands as Abe continued talking, spilling his internal monologue all over the place.
"I don't know Abe, I guess I just wanted to do the right thing for once and admit what I did."
She hadn't expected that but she hadn't expected any of the twists the conversation had taken since it had started. What had seemed like such a good thing was starting to devolve rapidly. It was a great advertisement for why she should have just kept her fucking mouth shut. The worst part was that the fear she'd had back on the trip when she had first knocked on Abe's door, the fear that she had fucked it up was all seemingly coming true before her eyes. The situation was different but the general direction of the conversation, the tone. That was all becoming everything she had been scared of.
"It's...I..." She had nothing, she didn't know what she could say to him. Instead, she just settled on staring at her feet.
"I'm sorry that happened to you."
"I don't know Abe, I guess I just wanted to do the right thing for once and admit what I did."
She hadn't expected that but she hadn't expected any of the twists the conversation had taken since it had started. What had seemed like such a good thing was starting to devolve rapidly. It was a great advertisement for why she should have just kept her fucking mouth shut. The worst part was that the fear she'd had back on the trip when she had first knocked on Abe's door, the fear that she had fucked it up was all seemingly coming true before her eyes. The situation was different but the general direction of the conversation, the tone. That was all becoming everything she had been scared of.
"It's...I..." She had nothing, she didn't know what she could say to him. Instead, she just settled on staring at her feet.
"I'm sorry that happened to you."
Abe closed his eyes, took a deep breath. He wasn't really angry, he'd never been an 'angry' type of guy, y'know, like sometimes he got a little pissy but there was nuance there, and he wasn't even pissy right now, he was just agitated, and breathing usually helped with that, or at least, it was the best possible option he had that wasn't prying his collar off with a nail clipper and swimming to Hawaii.
The breathing helped, or at least it helped him think of other things for five seconds, and maybe that's what really helped. Whatever. Forrest looked down at her feet, Abe stared up at the sky.
"Yeah. Sorry. You didn't need to hear that shit. I don't wanna be mad at you, and, like, I'm not, I'm seriously not. Can we be cool again?"
The breathing helped, or at least it helped him think of other things for five seconds, and maybe that's what really helped. Whatever. Forrest looked down at her feet, Abe stared up at the sky.
"Yeah. Sorry. You didn't need to hear that shit. I don't wanna be mad at you, and, like, I'm not, I'm seriously not. Can we be cool again?"
She'd done so well at not caring up until then as well. All the other interactions she'd had with people had been so easy to navigate. She didn't care what she did or if they got hurt. The difference was that with Abe she was dealing with someone she actually gave a shit about. She cared about his feelings and what he thought of her.
So it was a relief when he offered a reset, a free pass back to the way things had been.
"Yeah, that sounds good," She said, taking steps back towards him and resting her head on his chest, arms wrapped around his waist.
"I missed you a lot y'know."
So it was a relief when he offered a reset, a free pass back to the way things had been.
"Yeah, that sounds good," She said, taking steps back towards him and resting her head on his chest, arms wrapped around his waist.
"I missed you a lot y'know."
They were hugging again, and maybe that was just a band-aid, but a band-aid was still better than bleeding out, so Abe could live with it. Like in a hypothetical situation where they both had years to live the healthiest thing to do would be to sit down and actually have a heart-to-heart, but there was a lotta garbage in Abe's heart, so they just wouldn't talk about it.
"I missed you too, babe," Abe said, which was probably the most sincere thing he'd said in a week.
"We should find somewhere a bit more comfortable to chill. The vibes from this art shit are rancid."
"I missed you too, babe," Abe said, which was probably the most sincere thing he'd said in a week.
"We should find somewhere a bit more comfortable to chill. The vibes from this art shit are rancid."
From her position, Forrest scanned their surroundings. Abe wasn't wrong, he had picked what looked to be the ugliest exhibit to hang out in. Forrest wasn't sure if the others would be any better but she knew they certainly couldn't be any worse.
"That's a good idea," She began, taking in the collection of scrap around them. "This one's ugly."
She knew that she and Abe hadn't resolved anything. They had started to, and then it was too much and they were too cowardly, which honestly, was kinda their deal. Couldn't have problems if you didn't talk about them. That was the lie she was telling herself at least. She would be able to pretend it was all okay, that was the exact same thing she did back in Chattanooga anyway.
Her arms released Abe and she gave him a gentle nudge with her forehead.
"Grab your stuff, then we'll boogie on out of here."
((Forrest Quin continued elsewhere...))
"That's a good idea," She began, taking in the collection of scrap around them. "This one's ugly."
She knew that she and Abe hadn't resolved anything. They had started to, and then it was too much and they were too cowardly, which honestly, was kinda their deal. Couldn't have problems if you didn't talk about them. That was the lie she was telling herself at least. She would be able to pretend it was all okay, that was the exact same thing she did back in Chattanooga anyway.
Her arms released Abe and she gave him a gentle nudge with her forehead.
"Grab your stuff, then we'll boogie on out of here."
((Forrest Quin continued elsewhere...))
"Man you know how bad I am at dancing," Abe said, and it was almost banter, and things were almost normal, but, well, he picked up his gun, and Andy's bag, and their weight wouldn't ever let him forget where he was.
He just kept hitting the snooze button on his survival instincts, over and over again, pretending that it'd be alright to be human again, just for five more minutes, wait, he wasn't done yet, he needed more time, just five more minutes wouldn't hurt, stretching on into infinity until it did hurt.
((Just five more minutes.))
He just kept hitting the snooze button on his survival instincts, over and over again, pretending that it'd be alright to be human again, just for five more minutes, wait, he wasn't done yet, he needed more time, just five more minutes wouldn't hurt, stretching on into infinity until it did hurt.
((Just five more minutes.))