Survival Of The Fittest

Mortimer reached for the dog, but he was unaware that Rockwell was actively avoiding him. Not even trying to bite him, more like he didn't even want to anything to do with Mortimer. How pitiful...

Lucie asked him on what this so-called Monkey movie is about, though Claude muttered the way "Shit" out of nowhere. Mortimer gave a glance at Claude, though he was wondering if his friend knew to go along. And buy him those movie tickets, but he needed to hear Wade's opinion if he went to see Heart Eyes next month.

"Like I said. It's a film based off of a Stephen King story. The director of Longlegs is doing it, so I consider it to be hype enough for viewing." Mortimer said, where Lucie set down the sandwich. A classic BLT sandwich. Mortimer preferred to have his sandwiches with chips, but he didn't want to ask. Then again, she is completely towering over him and might crush his head in with her foot. "Thanks for the sandwich, Lucie." Mortimer said, pulling the plate closer to him with a N64 controller in his lap.

It took a while and bit of getting used to, but by then, Rockwell jumped back on the bed and made his way to the side of Mortimer, where he curled up next to him with a huff.

"Told you he'd warm up to you!" Claude exclaimed joyfully before he gave Mortimer a friendly punch to his left shoulder. The teen proceeded to get obliterated in what would become a national tragedy!

...Not really, all it did was hurt a bit, "Just had to take some time, is all!" Lucie continued as she proceeded to slap Mort in his other shoulder, destroying it beyond what could be salvageable...

Again, not really and all that happened was that it left Mortimer with two hurt shoulders courtesy of the two friendly giants, "Well, I'm going to leave you two to discuss your plans; call for me if you need anything else, alright, Mort?" Before he could respond, Lucie walked back out the door and down the stairs to leave the two boys to their shenanigans. With her out of the picture for now, Claude gave Mortimer the same death glare from a few moments ago before letting out a frustrated sigh.

"To hell with it..."

Claude thought before deciding to offer his friend a deal, "Look, I know you like Mercy," Claude said that so casually that it wouldn't even have registered in Mortimer's brain for a few seconds before he continued speaking, "I have no idea what you see in her but it's your choice, now here's the deal: I will try to help you ask her out, in exchange, you and I will go to the principals office where you will apologize for showing American Psycho in school and accept whatever disciplinary punishment that they have in mind for you, alright?" This sounded less like a means of negotiation and more as an ultimatum, which it probably was!

"We do it the easy way or we do it the hard way, where I drag you to the office and force you to do all that without trying to help you get with Mercy, yeah?" The tall baseball player got up and made his way towards his plate with his sandwich on it, grabbing it and taking a few bites, scarfing it down as he turned back around and made his way back to the bed while still eating his sandwich.

The dog was getting onto Mortimer's terms finally. It decided to get those pets that Morty wanted to give him and Rockwell allowed him to do so. It's been a while since Mortimer had a dog.

Then, his friend proceeded to give him a-



DID CLAUDE HAVE TO GIVE HIM A LOVE TAP LIKE THAT!? THAT WAS NOT GENTLE AT ALL! Mortimer knew that Claude had the strength to rip someone's face up by squeezing his fingers into someone's eyeballs, gouging them out with the face, removing it like a mask.

Of course, Mortimer was exaggerating his injury.

Then, Lucie came along and-



Mortimer's nerves to detect pain must have not been doing their job. Why was his body so sensitive with these giants trying to be playful with him?

This shit is not fair! How can I play Mario Kart when my shoulders feel busted!?

Mortimer was currently going to be in a disadvantage when he was riding at the Star Cup. Maybe he can pull off that Wario Stadium gambit with the lightning or a red shell.

Still, Lucie went out of the bedroom to give him and Claude some privacy. That's some relief. "We'll be alright, Lucie! Thanks for the sandwich!" Mortimer said, but he couldn't raise his damn arms from the giants fracturing his bones. Did Mortimer drink enough milk recently? The last time he drank tons of milk, his parents thought he had leukemia from how pale his skin got.

The moment the door closed with Lucie out, Mortimer could've almost heard the Prowler theme again. Claude was once again eyeing him. Even the dog too, who looked like he was going to go at it again with the squeaky toy.

"Aw fuck."

Mortimer was still in trouble and is eligible to be a victim of Claude's wrath. He's going to fracture the rest of Mortimer's bones to turn him into a basketball and dribble him down the Strip.

"C'mon, man. Give me a break. It was only once." Mortimer leaned down to take a bite into his sandwich, his teeth sinking into the bread, lettuce, tomato and bacon. Until Claude said something that nearly made Morty bite his own tongue.

"Look, I know you like Mercy,"

Mortimer bite down hard in shock. How the fuck did Claude know that he had feelings for Mercy?!

Now, Claude was trying to offer Morty a chance to ask her out on a date, in exchange, that he make an apology to the school for showing American Psycho.

My brother in Christ, the fuck!?

"You're friggin' serious?!" Mortimer said. Rockwell was still looking at him. "Claude, I'm already dead meat! They are probably gonna to call my mother anyways. What do you want me to do? I can't get a uk-ukulele and make an apology video." Mortimer said to him. Claude was probably going to have Mortimer not delay the inevitable. Mortimer took a large bite of his sandwich to try to calm down.

Now he knew Mortimer was just overreacting. This wasn't anything new to Claude as he let out an annoyed sigh, "I'm not telling you to do all that, I'm telling you to just come with me when we go to school so we can try to appeal to the principal so our club doesn't get shut down; besides, an apology will do wonders in this day and age, and even if you aren't listened to, maybe I will be." In all fairness, Claude’s logic was questionable, to say the least, but there was some merit to it, no matter how miniscule it was.

Rockwell, on the other hand, had splayed his body out as he got comfortable on the bed. His back rubbed against the blanket and he let out small whines of satisfaction.

"It's not like I'm asking you to kill someone, (wink wink) I just want you to come with me to the principals office when we get back to school so you can apologize normally, alright?" Claude hoped that Mortimer would see reason when it came to this sort of thing, he really did.

That's when he suddenly remembered something. Something so crucial it could spell the end of Mortimer...

Claude quickly picked up both controllers and just readied everything up for the race, not giving his friend the opportunity of a fair game as the circuit was about to start, "Ready up
Slowpoke!" A cackle followed his taunt and he held his controller in his hands, flashing a shit eating grin towards his friend. "But anyways, mind if I ask you what you see in Mercy that made you fall so hard for her?" Claude perfectly replicated the Rock eyebrow raise as he waited for his friends response.

While this was happening, Rockwell slowly dozed off as he fell asleep with a snore.

Mortimer looked at Claude like he was crazy, because the actual crazy one was the obvious choice in the matter. Unfortunately, Claude was right. Mortimer needed to get back in the good graces with the horror club and his lesbian principal Winegarden... and Fray-Fray, who Mortimer might have gotten fired. Though Mortimer needed to be 100 feet from a Jamba Juice, still.

"Alright... Alright." Mortimer accepted his death.

Rockwell was pleased. A job well done for him, letting himself stretch and relax.

"You need to still be a wingman for me, though. Vice Principal Misel might be the one there in the morning, so he is going to be a hardass when I try to do an apology. You gotta back me up if he's there." Knowing Misel, he is going to try to tear up Mortimer's ass, regardless.

Mortimer reached down to take a bite out of his BLT sandwich again, until his friend Claude suddenly grabbed his controller. The food was already in Morty's mouth, before he had a chance to reply. That son of a bitch didn't give Mortimer the chance to pick his character! Mortimer could only look to see the shit eating grin that Claude had on him.

Mortimer swallowed what he had been chewing.

"Oh, you asshole..." Mortimer grabbed his controller back. His character was Toad. Oh damn it! Mortimer wanted to pick Bowser. He had to get in his a-game stage, when the race started at Wario Stadium. Oh, he was going to pull the lightning bolt on Claude here.

"It's complicated for Mercy. That's all I can say." Mortimer got both of his hands on the controller, trying to make sure Claude didn't get the upper hand in the race.