Survival Of The Fittest

Pre-everything knowledge: I have no idea who is James Brown. I just think Chris Brown and it makes me want to barf, you know? Anyways.

[+] Chat Interlude 1

brackieToday at 8:18 PM
also
I believe James Brown spends 90% of the game on LSD
meet `n fuck: murder islandToday at 8:18 PM
James Brown is a name I could not be trusted writing, too many good references
brackieToday at 8:18 PM
and he makes
6th place
ration bar carlToday at 8:18 PM
same
LorettaToday at 8:18 PM
same
i do not trust this
6th
place?
ration bar carlToday at 8:18 PM
both the LSD and the references
LorettaToday at 8:18 PM
oh jesus
what did i roll

Profile: From the looks of it, James Brown isn't Chris Brown which scores him a better score than I initially set for him. So let's have a round of applause for him. His appearance is honestly fine for a one-paragrapher. It kinda hits all the point: how he looks like, what he wears, and even has some fun flavor like

He started wearing contact lenses in highschool as well as a calculator watch which he never really uses to calculate anything. His posture sucks.

So honestly? I like his biography. It's not good for v7 standards, but it has some iconic lines like

He made a handful of friends through a mutual interest in the Ninja Turtles and spent a lot of time in gradeschool running around with them on the playground, calling himself Michelangelo and doing pretend battle with Shredder and April O'Neil (designated a villain because girls were stupid).

It's not up to the informal standards but honestly? I expected less than this and that shit still kinda hits

His parents came to decide he was playing too many videogames in his spare time, and told him to get a freaking hobby before he turned into a vegetable. So he did, and that hobby was playing the drums. The Browns would come to regret forcing that decision upon their son in the following years, although he ended up becoming very skilled at his instrument.

[...]

Then later he decided that nu metal was kind of gay and moved on to more progressive groups that were harder to find but much more instrumentally complex.

Honestly, I'm kinda living for this dude. He looks fun. You know, he also sounds like a tiny jerk but it could be worse. I'm kinda excited about the readthrough

[+] Chat Interlude 2

LorettaToday at 8:27 PM
Then later he decided that nu metal was kind of gay and moved on to more progressive groups that were harder to find but much more instrumentally complex.
@♫▼𝄇⁍♘╫☠≥𝄌¿╞☺
brackieToday at 8:27 PM
drums are loud
twindrillToday at 8:27 PM
oh yea
hop situation
CourtneyToday at 8:28 PM
damn, talking shit on nu metal, I can't believe sotf would do this to me
ration bar carlToday at 8:28 PM
shittalking nu metal in v3, even
CourtneyToday at 8:28 PM
right?
like, V3 should be fine with nu metal

Pregame: He tragically has no pregame. I don't think that's a bad thing because I kinda don't want to read ninja turtle actions but I might be wrong about that. It would honestly be a mood to see a grown man run around saying "hehe im donnatello". Actually fuck I wanted pregame.

Maingame: James has 11 threads for his maingame. I'll try to like break each of them down as I go through them. Just like give a heads up of what's happening in it and what are my feelings about them.

So first one: In the Wake of the Bunt!

It's an interesting thread. Some things were lost to time clearly because I don't think he wakes up on Day 1. He also shares the post with another of Cyco's character (Jessa). The whole thread goes as follows: James wakes up with the gun and he finds Jessa asleep. He's carrying the gun though so when Jessa wakes up, she gets spooked and she runs away being like "aaaaa". James is like "uhhh sorry?" and digs through her stuff to get supplies. It's honestly a solid starter. There's no ball being hit out the park but it is a solid post.

ALSO JESSA HAD A BUTTERFLY KNIFE????? anyways im not doing her reading next

Second one is: House of Boo!

I like the name of that thread. I think it's because I picture the little Mario ghosts. This is, by the way, the second one-shot in a row of our homeboy. Is it a pattern that I'm smelling? I don't know. Anyways, this thread is about James taking LSD by mistake (I presume) and meeting Boo so? lol? I don't know how to review that? That kinda hit me left field. Okay but for real, James walked toward the Chapel, he thinks he sees someone, but NO! It's a Big Boo here for Revenge and Murder. I'm.

Okay, well let's go to the next one!

[+] Chat Interlude 3

twindrillToday at 8:54 PM
whyt isd big boo- i-
LorettaToday at 8:54 PM
girl
okay
i just want to say
it
never
says he took lsd
so im assuming it sthe aspirin
but aspirin doesnt look
like lsd?
whatever
CourtneyToday at 8:55 PM
it's V3, Lore, just roll with it
meet `n fuck: murder islandToday at 8:55 PM
Big Boo brushes his teeth

Chapter number three of LSD-Man is: The Legend of the Flower of Woe! It's another thread title I like. By the way, this is James' first thread that isnt a one-shot/handlercest/boocest so let's get sickening, perhaps?

So homeboy, after his adventures with the boo, keeps on popping the totally-not-lsd-aspirin tablets. Hum. Well that's that. That's the intro. However, this thread introduces Nadine Willowbrook in the life of our protagonist. She does the normal thing of being like "hey you okay there buddy?" to which he responds:

"Whew, sorry," James sighed, a little embarrassed. He tried to keep his eyes off her writhing appendages, so he wouldn't seem rude. "I'm fine. You just surprised me is all, I thought you were a--"

Wait. There was no way she'd believe him about the Big Boos.

"--ah, um...you know, playing." Good save. "I'm not playing," he added quickly, releasing his grip on the rifle with one hand and letting it rest at his side.

Which dare I say is a pretty valid response. I'm kinda glad he didn't go "haha big boo go brrr" because it would just make the overall tone kinda whack. I'm glad Nadine is like "ah. hes fucked up. mhm." because if you've seen someone on acid you know what I'm talking about. He's probably rough for wear right now. They try to strike up an alliance which is pretty clumsy. Though I will admit Nadine truly feels like an organic character in this scene. I think you could take her posts and transmute them to v7 and they would make sense. She's a sad girls with her flowers that's like "haha murderers ".

However their little conversation is interrupted by this dude named Brenden Bedard who apparently has ties with the bloody fists from v2? Which the handler of James handled Bryan soooooo. Kinda fish, kinda sus, exactly what I like here. Anyways, homeboy and his homegirl smell something fishy from him and they're right, Brenden is a piece of garbage but then, plot twist, Ciel debuts with Luis Chezinski. This is the point where the thread becomes a

!!CLUSTERFUCK!!

Everybody throws out their last braincells and decide to !!FREAKOUT!!. It starts with homeboy saying

James was growing more and more uneasy as more people showed up. He scratched his temple, distracted by a distant buzzing. He looked around. Just what was that anyway? He discovered to his horror that the sound eminated from the colossal swarm of grotesque mutant insects that suddenly filled the sky, blotting out the sun as they descended voraciously upon the field of flowers. What kind of island was this!?

James pointed up to the top of the sky, his face aghast as he screamed at the top of lungs, "Killer bees with the heads...of raccoons!!" He felt almost paralyzed, and it required a vast amount of effort to raise the Garand and start firing randomly into the swarm.

I have no fucking clue where he's getting this, but honestly, I'm living for it so let's continue. Like any normal person, Nadine is like "what the fuck is going here on this day" and she's like "hes insane shoot me" which everyone agrees to. Luis tries to set him on fire with his aerosol and a burning pamphlet (points for creativity!) and Brenden (hates his name btw) is like "he's not a mosquito!" and im like that's how you kill mosquitos???? Whack. After pushing him down to the ground, everyone jumps him. Nadine, the sane woman, just fucking books it so you go girl.

Brenden holds James down as he rollercoasters his way through his badtrip. Thing is, Luis doesn't have any posts in that moment and then Trish McCarroll just joins! without an entry tag or anything! She was truly breaking down the norms of art before our time, what a queen.

This is what follows: Luis is murdered by Brenden who then goes after Trish but trips and breaks his skull on a rock. I wish I was making this up but let's continue with this thread!

By the way, Ares... comes back again to the thread with the man known as Steve? This dude thinking "damn, there's two dead bodies, one dude tripping out and a girl sitting in the corner: they're killing each other!" which I don't blame him. This is like super sus! Thing is, James just starts blasting Steve. He's like "fuck you Kenny." But like................. there's no Kenny? I assume it's the LSD. As the boys fight, we get this gem:

Kenny whipped another handful of exquisitely colored rocks at him, and they collectively exclaimed "weeeee!" at the top of their tiny lungs as they sailed through the air at him. James flinched as some of them hit him and fired at Kenny again, but a split-second after the shot was fired he was surprised to hear a loud metallic ping issue from the Garand.

the weeee! by the way is rainbow colored. do what you want with this information

Steve robs James from his gun and tada! Trish is back into the action but she's adopted by Crash! After being knocked the fuck out, our protagonist kinda comes back to this senses and he's able to have a conversation with Trish. They decide to strike up an alliance. It's honestly not bad. Trish really brings up the quality of the writing just by being adopted by Crash.

Next thread is! The Stench of Reality taking place at the chapel. You would expect that sinch Trish introduces the thread, you would get her ally right after, right? Well, you're wrong. We have four characters joining, two that are handled by the same person. The canon reason?

James had fallen behind. He'd needed a moment to wash the blood off his face and stopped at a small pond to do so, removing his glasses and splashing some of the murky water over the dried blood and grit. Drying his face on his sleeve he felt a sharp pain in his cheek, a reminder of his run-in with Bir...

...?

...the baseball.

What?

Hmm. Nevermind.

I just want to say. This entire like... last four threads have lasted a day? He has 11 threads? He finishes 6th place? I'm curious!

Multiple people joins the thread including our queen and savior Dominica. I think this is like the thread where everyone is like "heehee lets escapee dudeeeeees" but I've been only reading the pov of James so I don't want to step on someone's else terrain. There'll be a lot to unpack when someone reads Dominica and other dudes like her. So to cut back to our homeboy, he's like "fuck what the fuck is everyone on crack?" and then

he says

this

line

"Holy fuckballs...is everybody on crack??" he grumbled, trying to avoid the people who were backing off as he approached the chapel from an angle. A poison angle. Y'dig? When he was sure that Trish could see him he waved, a little freaked but still confident she could tell friend from foe.

I hate my life.

MOVING ON: James doesn't really get involved with the whole SADD side of the story. He is rather interested by Trish's new gun which I'm not sure where it came from. She just found it on the ground somewhere which... props to her I guess? This is the part where I'm kinda sad to say that James just becomes an orbit for Trish. In this thread, he's just like "oh Trish said that, Trish did that, Trish wants that" and it's like not interesting to read? It kinda sucks to have a character go from "hehe racoon bee killers" to "its 5pm time to my flattening" you know? He doesn't really interact with anyone else in this thread which could have been really interesting when you see that Laeil and Pascal just joined. But I guess this wasn't the time for that.

CHAPTER 5: At a Loss

Once again, Trish, our homegirl, starts the post strong. It is a long post but it's also a song post so honestly? I don't mind it. The post also addresses the time that has spent between the threads. I think that's nice 'cuz honestly I'm just lost at this point. I needed to do some research to figure out which day we were. We're now on the Sixth Day. Yay!

Again, James doesn't follow up with the post. It's actually Jeff Thorne who is super upset about everything. James follows up the entry with quite a small post. It's another case of orbiting toward Trish I think. He doesn't quite have any personality other than like "I'm Trish's ally" which doesn't sit well with me considering that the handler wrote Bryan from V2. It feels more like I'm reading Trish than James at this point, and I don't like that. Another example in this thread is when Jake Henkie shows up and he's like "Trish!!". There's a scene with everyone being like "what the fuck?" and people panicking and shooting each other resulting in his death.

But James, once again, isn't involved in it. He's only good part, if I can say it, is this:

Trish made a beeline toward Jake, prompting James to raise a hand and gasp in protest, but his legs felt completely frozen. Everything was happening so fast. Within seconds Trish retaliated on the shooter with a burst from the AK, saving James from really having to do anything past looking around frantically like Punxsutawney Phil. Finally he snapped out of it and raced over to Trish and Jake, the latter of whom was sporting a gruesome expression that said "I just got shot in the face." James stood wordlessly in the background while Jake slipped away through Trish's fingers.

Out of the corner of his eye James caught sight of something crawling along the ground, and turned startled to see that it was the other guy. Somehow he'd survived. Somehow he seemed quite coherent. Somehow James doubted that Trish would forgive him.

The personality of James and Cyco as a handler comes back. And this is interesting. The rest of him being like passive and an orbit isn't. What's nice about this however is this trend kinda stops for this thread. James decides to take the action in his own hands after Trish is clearly distraught about her friend's passing. He's like "get lost loser" and pulls out a gun from Jeff's bag on Sloan. Jeff then passes away which is like trauma congaline for Trish, but I'm not reading Trish soooo.

This is the part where I'm like Sloan doesn't make any sense. He just walks up and he's like "I'm a good guy don't shoot me" but then threatens to shoot the guy in the face? I don't get it? Whatever. I think this is a case of "welp i just got rolled, gotta have a set up" because it is then followed by Trish shooting him in the face.

Trish again becomes the main character of the thread. James snaps her out of her little dissociation moment after shooting Sloan. Her friend from art class, Danni, also joins the party. James in all of that does shine when he 'wakes' Trish up. He does fall back into "okay gtg" pattern but honestly I can forgive it after this cool fight sequence.