Survival Of The Fittest

Matthew Lafferty (he has eyebrows if you look real closely)



Ok so since Matt's not getting a deadsprite (somehow two people in v2 died from having air injected into their bloodstreams *and* they both died on the same kermitsim day) this is it until kermitsim day 3. Until then I'll be finally reading my RAT assignments ugh and also making some ~~~~~surprises~~~~~ for this thread )))))) see u in a few years

guess what i remembered how goddamn boring making the cursed images is so JUST FORGET ABOUT THAT HAHAH WHOOPS I'm working on Day 3 now, it should be up within the next few decades I hope

[+] The Events of Day Three

-Randy Blailocke teams up with Andrew Swainson wow

-Stephanie Crew sees a sewer gator yikes

-Pants is Pants

-Christian Cohen grabs Nich Finlayson, pushes him to the ground, and kicks his head till he dies

-Mariavel Varella's just like "where lavnder"

-Shae Arnav starts a body farm

-Steven Smith joins ??? ??? ????? ?? ???? ?????

-Tori Johnson is a Murdergoblin now :c

-Laura Diesen: ":/"

-Anthony Ainsworth regrets his decisions

-Nessy Guthrie joins The Dream Team

-Eric Silvstedt's like "WHERE RICKY!??????"

-Eli McConnell is like bew bew and bew bews Harry Constantine in the tum tum

-Roland Kelly hears the voice of God.

-Alice Nichols doesn't know where she is.

-Elizabeth Ebert does jumping jacks.

-Steven Smith sings Amazing Grace

-Roland Kelly hears the voice of Damien

-Annabelle Buchannon teams up with Kristey Burrowell, starting the Bad Bitches Club

-Something something Lavender Heart

-MaAaRIiIIIMmMAAARRRrRR

-R KeLlLYYYyYYY

-AnnNTHoooNNY AiIiIINnNSWooOORThhH

-Derrin Istoli is being haunted by Kermit's ghost OoOOoOOO

-Kasumi White is like "where lance"

-Eli McConnell's like "oh jeez i killed a dude again :-/"

-Laura Diesen bangs her head against a tree

-Kyle Rizea is basically the best at soccer ok

-John Matthews takes his happy pills

-GREeEEEggGGooOOOORrRYYyYYYy mMMmOoOOoOYyYYYeEEErRRR

-Peter Rosenthal looks for Andi

-reyoM yrogerG

-Joshua Moore joins WHERE BURTON!?

-Marvin Hendrick kicks a rock

-Bryan Calvert misses CJ the hook-handed janitor (damn i shouldve put him in this too :/)

-Gregory Moyer chases after a figure in the distance.

-Kyle Rizea is lost.

-Stacy Holorson is lost.

-Pants is lost.

-EVERYONE IS FUCKING LOST

-Maggie Heartgreeder kills and eats an owl

-Stacy Holorson convinces Derrin Istoli that the vial of strychnine she (Stacy) has is an antidote for scary jeff/kermit hallucinations. Derrin drinks it and DIES ! ! ! ! !

-Kyle Rizea watches on from the distance.

-Stacy Holorson has a bloodlust that cannot be quenched

-Caitlin Evans still has not exploded.

-ShHAHAEeEEEe ARRRRRRRRRNnNnNAvVV

-Annabelle Buchannon sees some well organized shelves and [DATA EXPUNGED]

-Paris Persphone screams in Kasumi White's ear so loud that Kasumi's head explodes.

-Penelope Withers is like "nope don't want none of that" and runs away

-Randy Blailocke walked a few steps and is now very tired :C poor randy

-Bryan Calvert explores the hotel.

-John Matthews takes more happy pills.

-Darren Oaklan throws his cleaver into Steven Smith's face.

-Roland Kelly decides Marvin Hendrick will be the new Damien.

-Adrian Gray falls off the dam but survives perfectly uninjured.

-Darren Oaklan loots Steven's corpse.

-Elizabeth Ebert is doing stuff and things.

-Jameson Doeert hides in the barn.

-John Matthews IisISJASjb hv dnui83893839

-Jonathan Michaels monologues about stuff

-Paris Persphone drinks some orphan blood to maintain his eternal youth.

-Sylvea Hill is a kool kid

-Jana Brown doesn't understand this game

-Kristey Burrowell is a meanie bo beanie :C

-Randy Blailocke falls off a cliff while sleepwalking.

-Randy Blailocke survives because there was a Kyle Rizea there to cushion his fall.

-Kyle Rizea does not survive rip Riz 1.0 and rip Team Uh Oh.

-Greggory Archer has too many Gs in his name >:C

-Randy Blailocke wakes up, soaked in blood.

-Roland Kelly sees this and runs away because he thinks Randy is a zombie

-Eric Silvstedt beats a squirrel to death just because he can.

-Mariavel Varella looks at a picture. It was so sad... such a sad painting... like them... they only waned a normal life... was that too much to ask? was it?

-MARMAR PRZ

-Jana Brown pushes Peter Rosenthal off a cliff *gasp* Jana u ho! >:O also rip [Insert Team Name Here].

-Chiaki Takaoooooooooo

-Zilya Merchenkov sneaks up behind Sylvea Hill and shoots her with a Flintlock.

-Pants!

-Tanesha Lexx walks up to Jonathan Michaels and is like "hello" and Jonathan Michaels is like "EW U UGLY HO GROSS GO AWAY UUGHH" and Tanesha's like "D:<" and Jonathan's like "I LIKE GIRLS WITH BIG MELONS (i think he said this for real?)" and Tanesha shoots him in the dick and he dies whoops.

-Anthony Ainsworth performs an exorcism (he did this 4 real in v2)

-Kevin Kaputsiak finds a perfectly functional Wii in the residential area, and using his assigned weapon (a Wii-mote), he plays some Wii Sports. He doesn't fasten the wrist strap on the remote, and as a result, he accidentally throws it out a window while playing Wii Bowling. Venus Gwendolyn, who was having a stroll outside is hit in the head and instantly killed by the Wii-mote. ALWAYS FASTEN THE SAFETY STRAP, KIDS.

-Stacy Holorson downs a whole bottle of cough syrup bleugh

-Walter Smith [DATA EXPUNGED] OH MY GOD THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA OH GOD WHY D:

-Pants I like Pants his name is Pants yay yay yay

-Wanda Lovett bjkch90 brlllllllllllll

-Sam Sorenson [DATA EXPUNGED] OH GOD IT'S WORSE THAN WALTER AAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-Alex Ovechkin trips over the Wii-mote and hits his head on a rock and dies WOW NICE GOING KEVIN

-An Linh Tuan is last Makaze standing.

-Gregory Moyer bites off his own finger.

-Roland Kelly is fucking crazy

-Blake Ross is going faster than the speed limit >:0

-Marvin Hendrick punches Elizabeth Ebert in the face and she dies i guess i dunno lol

-Anthony Ainsworth is chased by ghosts!

-Bryan Calvert memorizes an Ikea catalogue.

-MaAaaARIIiIaaAVElLLlll VAaAREEllLLAAaA is surprisingly sane this time around :)!

-Mitch Gunther sees Anthony Ainsworth, and knowing he's teamed up with STINKY DUMB BUTTFACE SAM SORENSON UGH, he ambushes him and eviscerates him with his sickle.

-Burton Harris [idk insert something really funny here]

-Bryan Calvert teams up with Ernest Decarteret wow also Ernest didn't spill his meds so he's not gonna go crazy yayyyy!

-Walter Smith sees Randy Blailocke, and noticing the blood covering the boy, feels an instant affinity form for him. They team up I guess?

-Shae Arnav bludgeons Gregory Moyer with a morning star. Stinky Dumb Sam Sorenson is all alone now >:) his friends are dea- WAIT EW NO I REALIZED HOW BAD THAT SOUNDS IN CONTEXT AS I WAS TYPING IT EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWYYY ICKY BAD GROSS UGH I H8 U SAM SORENSON

[+] Alliances

Best Team: Bryan Calvert + Caitlin Evans + Ernest Decarteret

[Insert Team Name Here]: Peter Rosenthal + Elizabeth Ebert

VT <3 MD: Vesa Turunen + Mihro Duli + Adrian Gray

The Best Gang: Marvin Hendrick + Jenna Cassidy

The Dream Team: Laura Diesen + Lee-Ann Collier + Nessy Guthrie

Team Oh for Fuck's Sake :/ : Sam Sorenson + Anthony Ainsworth + Gregory Moyer

Team Pants: Satoru Kamui + Pants + Seth Mattlock + Huy Tran

Team Hotrod: Blake Ross + Jonathan Michaels + Jameson Doeert + Roland Kelly

Team #-2: Alice Nichols + Lavender Heart

ɯɐǝ⊥ ɹǝɥʇou∀: Eli McConnell + Shae Arnav

Team Punt Gun: Harry Constantine + Kristey Burrowell

The Butterfly Club: Licinia Vinici + Tanesha Lexx + MARIAVEL VARELLA!?

The Little Mermaids: Marimar Perez + Russ Gofis

??? ??? ????? ?? ???? ??????: Okalani Shimane + Michael Neely + Steven Smith

?????!!??!?!?: An Linh Tuan + Mitch Gunther + Darren Oaklan

The Oliver "Garry" Doddsquad: Ali Grayston + Oliver Dodd

The Gossip Monarchy: Debrah Dollop + Paris Persphone + Sylvea Hill

гคєђค ђאภเยคยєץ: Mai Oshinari + Chad Munteanu + Alexander Bee

ＡａＡＡａＡＡａａＡＡａａａＡａ: Christian Cohen + Kevin Kapustiak + Brad Wilson

Team 69: John Matthews + Zilya Merchenkov + Stacy Holorson

teams?: Venus Gwendolyn + Brittany Ashworth + Wanda Lovett + Alex Ovechkin

The Industrial Sized Condoms: Whitney Acosta + Nathan Godwin + Jana Brown

COMEDY DUO: Robert Adams + Maggie Heartgreeder

The Eels: Lance Adams + Eric Silvstedt + Franco Sebberts

WHERE BURTON!?: Penelope Withers + Chiaki Takao + John Davies + Joshua Moore

Team JACKIE: Jackie Kovacs + Lester Treskington + Ricky Callahan

Team Uh Oh: Kyle Rizea + Walter Smith

The Meme Team: Burton Harris + Dan Johnson

Murdergoblins: Brandon Cuthbert + Zachary Foreman + Tori Johnson

Team not Pants: Randy Blailocke + Andrew Swainson + Walter Smith

Bad Bitches Club: Annabelle Buchannon + Kristey Burrowell

[+] Deaths

#91 Nich Finlayson: Head trauma caused by Christian Cohen

#90 Harry Constantine: Shot by Eli McConnell

#89 Derrin Istoli: Poisoned by Stacy Holorson

#88 Kasumi White: Gossiped to death by The Gossip King

#87 Steven Smith: Head cleaved open by Darren Oaklan

#86 Kyle Rizea: Crushed by Randy Blailocke

#85 Peter Rosenthal: Pushed off of a cliff by Jana Brown

#84 Sylvea Hill: Shot by Zilya Merchenkov

#83 Jonathan Michaels: Shot by Tanesha Lexx

#82 Venus Gwendolyn: Bonked on the head by Kevin Kapustiak

#81 Alex Ovechkin: Tripped by Kevin Kapustiak

#80 Elizabeth Ebert: Killed to death by Marvin Hendrick

#79 Anthony Ainsworth: Eviscerated by Mitch Gunther

#78 Gregory Moyer: Bludgeoned by Shae Arnav

[+] Surviving Characters

Adrian Gray-.45 Derringer, Hatchet

Alexander Bee-Bayonet

Ali Grayston-Pitchfork

Alice Nichols-Enfield Mk II

An Linh Tuan-Macbook Pro

Andi Ayala-Laser Dazzler

Andrew "Pants" Ponikarovsky-Scythe

Andrew Swainson-Arcus 94

Annabelle Buchannon-Crowbar

Blake Ross-Car Keys, Glock 19

Brad Wilson-Ming Vase

Brandon Cuthbert-Wooden Skis

Brittany Ashworth-Javelin

Bryan Calvert-Dynamite

Burton Harris-Mateba Model 8 Unica Autorevolver, Memes

Caitlin Evans-Firecrackers

Chad Munteanu-Mercygiver

Chiaki Takao-Glock 17, 1x Hand Grenade

Christian Cohen-Gameboy Advance, WASP Injection Knife

Dan Johnson-Bobblehead

Darren Oaklan-Cleaver, Rope

Debrah Dollop-Ji

Eli McConnell-Beretta 93R, Pot lid, Lead Pipe, Taurus Raging Bull

Eric Silvstedt-Macauhuitl

Ernest Decarteret-Frisbee

Franco Sebberts-Chinese Finger Trap, Kusarigama

Garry "Oliver" Dodd-Taurus PT 111

Greggory Archer-Field Rations

Huy Tran-Fairbairn-Sykes Fighting Knife

Jackie Kovacs-Water Gun

Jameson Doeert-Hockey Stick

Jana Brown-Potassium Cyanide

Jenna Cassidy-Pickaxe

John Davies-Epee

John Matthews-Hip Flask

Joshua Moore-AED Machine

Kevin Kapustiak-HIS OWN FISTS >B-)

Kristey Burrowell-Punt Gun (nice)

Lance Adams-War Scythe

Laura Diesen-Gladius, Telescopic Baton

Lavender Heart-16 feet of barbed wire, Beretta PX4 Pistol, Mauser C96

Lee-Ann Collier-Hi-Point Model JHP

Lester Treskington-Riot Shield

Licinia Vinici-Ak-47, Garrotte

Maggie Heartgreeder-Stoner 63, Jian

Mai Oshinari-Kukri

Mariavel Varella-Nodachi

Marimar Perez-Furby

Marvin Hendrick-X-Box Controller, Tomahawk

Michael Neely-Tambourine

Mihiro Duli-Can of cat food

Mitch Gunther-Sickle, 1x Flash Grenade

Nathan Godwin-X-Force 850 Pro

Nessy Guthrie-Switchblade

Okalani Shimane-3x Smoke grenades, Nail Bat

Oliver "Garry" Dodd-Kris, Billyclub

Paris "The Gossip King" Persphone-Naginata, Juicy Gossip, M1903 Springfield, Rope Dart

Penelope Withers-Hook Sword

Randy Blailocke-Colouring Book

Ricky Callahan-Colt Single Action Army

Robert Adams-Nunchuks

Roland Kelly-Beretta 1934

Russ Gofis-Sledgehammer

Stinky Dumb Sam Sorenson-Scimitar, Speargun

Satoru Kamui-Shotgun Flashlight (nice)

Seth Mattlock-Heckler & Kock MP7

Shae Arnav-Morning Star, Shamshir

Stacy Holorson-Screwdriver, Remington 11-87

Stephanie Crew-Mossberg 500 Cruiser

Tanesha Lexx-Smith & Wesson M19, Saber

Tori Johnson-Shillelagh

Vesa Turunen-Leather Glove

Walter Smith-Mosquito Repellent

Wanda Lovett-Skateboard

Whitney Acosta-S&W .357

Zachary Foreman-Benelli M3

Zilya Merchenkov-Flintlock Pistol, Dragunov, Tire Iron, Ram Dao Sword

Nich Finlayson

oh no nich got attacked by an anime character


BAD STINKY RAPIST BOY THIS IS WHAT U GET >:C >:C >:C  >:C  >:C  >:C  >:C

Harry Constantine

Whoops Harry killed a lady  

Whoops Bryan killed a Harry

Derrin Istoli

Kasumi White

LAaAAaaAAAAaANCE:

Steven Smith

i guess day 3 of the sim is throat trauma day

Kyle Rizea

BRYAN SMASH!

Peter Rosenthal