Darkness Within
Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2018 6:47 am
((Janet Binachi continued from Regrets.))
((Note for those trying to figure out timelines: Janet arrives here slightly before Announcement 1, by about an hour. Adjust your summaries accordingly.))
Janet was exhausted by the time she entered the forest. The sun had gone down hours ago, but the moon was full and the ground was mostly lacking dangerous things to trip over. But now, she couldn't run anymore. She dropped her bags at the foot of a tree and quickly gathered some branches. It was important that she cover her little shelter enough that she would be mostly invisible until the morning. At least nobody else knew what had happened. It was between her and her conscience. With her crappy shelter made, Janet stripped off her clothing and pushed it into her daypack. It was silly, but she felt wrong sleeping in clothing. She laid down under the shelter, closed her eyes, and promptly fell asleep.
Clap. Clap. Clap.
Janet woke, sitting up groggily and whacking her head against the tree. Unsurprisingly, SoTF hadn't turned out to be a bad dream. She heard words being said, but mostly ignored them. Unimportant.
And then she heard her name.
She sat up again sharply, hitting her head again. She cursed and tried to figure out what had been said. Slowly, her brain figured it out. Danya had listed her as the killer of Everett. God dammit. Janet stood, cursing to herself over the announcement. Still, she hoped enough people would have trouble applying a face to the name. Hopefully.
She flipped her hair back, rummaged in Everett's daypack and pulled out his food. A thought struck her. She delved back in, looking for the gun he had said he had. But... nothing. "He was lying. Dammit," Janet muttered. That meant she didn't even have a crappy selfish reason for killing him. Everett's death now functioned solely as her foot-in-the-door. The next one would be easier. The third one might not even make her nauseous.
Unbidden, Everett's face appeared in Janet's mind, making her stomach turn. She had never seen someone so... broken. The damage that the hockey stick did was... not surprising, really. Physics wasn't Janet's strong point, but she understood enough to know about leverage and surface area and all that shit. She felt her foot tingle as the sound of his crunching ribcage played itself over and over. Janet hugged her knees to herself, not noticing that she was still mostly naked. Her hunger had been replaced by a gnawing ball of guilt, trying to eat its way out of her body.
"I'm afraid, Grandpa," Janet whispered. "I'm afraid to lose myself to the darkness. When does killing stop being evil? Ten? Twenty? They say 19 people died yesterday.... They should have said twenty. I am no longer people, I am no longer a student. I am a murderer. And... I'm not giving up, Grandpa. I will win, and make it home. I will make sure that the death I commit has a nobler purpose."
Janet looked up, at the slowly rising sun. "Danya. I will play your game. But I won't let you win this time. I'm going to see you destroyed. I swear it," she said, vehemence rising in her voice.
With her piece said and her conscience successfully conned, Janet turned back to her breakfast.
((Note for those trying to figure out timelines: Janet arrives here slightly before Announcement 1, by about an hour. Adjust your summaries accordingly.))
Janet was exhausted by the time she entered the forest. The sun had gone down hours ago, but the moon was full and the ground was mostly lacking dangerous things to trip over. But now, she couldn't run anymore. She dropped her bags at the foot of a tree and quickly gathered some branches. It was important that she cover her little shelter enough that she would be mostly invisible until the morning. At least nobody else knew what had happened. It was between her and her conscience. With her crappy shelter made, Janet stripped off her clothing and pushed it into her daypack. It was silly, but she felt wrong sleeping in clothing. She laid down under the shelter, closed her eyes, and promptly fell asleep.
Clap. Clap. Clap.
Janet woke, sitting up groggily and whacking her head against the tree. Unsurprisingly, SoTF hadn't turned out to be a bad dream. She heard words being said, but mostly ignored them. Unimportant.
And then she heard her name.
She sat up again sharply, hitting her head again. She cursed and tried to figure out what had been said. Slowly, her brain figured it out. Danya had listed her as the killer of Everett. God dammit. Janet stood, cursing to herself over the announcement. Still, she hoped enough people would have trouble applying a face to the name. Hopefully.
She flipped her hair back, rummaged in Everett's daypack and pulled out his food. A thought struck her. She delved back in, looking for the gun he had said he had. But... nothing. "He was lying. Dammit," Janet muttered. That meant she didn't even have a crappy selfish reason for killing him. Everett's death now functioned solely as her foot-in-the-door. The next one would be easier. The third one might not even make her nauseous.
Unbidden, Everett's face appeared in Janet's mind, making her stomach turn. She had never seen someone so... broken. The damage that the hockey stick did was... not surprising, really. Physics wasn't Janet's strong point, but she understood enough to know about leverage and surface area and all that shit. She felt her foot tingle as the sound of his crunching ribcage played itself over and over. Janet hugged her knees to herself, not noticing that she was still mostly naked. Her hunger had been replaced by a gnawing ball of guilt, trying to eat its way out of her body.
"I'm afraid, Grandpa," Janet whispered. "I'm afraid to lose myself to the darkness. When does killing stop being evil? Ten? Twenty? They say 19 people died yesterday.... They should have said twenty. I am no longer people, I am no longer a student. I am a murderer. And... I'm not giving up, Grandpa. I will win, and make it home. I will make sure that the death I commit has a nobler purpose."
Janet looked up, at the slowly rising sun. "Danya. I will play your game. But I won't let you win this time. I'm going to see you destroyed. I swear it," she said, vehemence rising in her voice.
With her piece said and her conscience successfully conned, Janet turned back to her breakfast.