Little Boy Blue

Rorick Skyve* · #1

((Aiden Slattery continued from ±êÅ¢¢B))

Aiden was a tiny, tiny guy. Smaller than everyone else ever since elementary school, Beaks the Dwarf, Beaks the Leprechaun, no name in the goddamn world he hadn't been called back then. Or sometimes even today. But that hadn't been able to stop him this time. He owed her.

He had no clue how long he had been sitting there earlier, holding her, thinking that somehow, somehow it was all gonna turn out fine, like some sort of fuckin' fairy tale. It would have been fair, only fair. She never hurt anyone. She saved his life. Gave hers for that. She deserved to come back from that.

Aiden had always thought that there was some sort of justice present in the world; wasn't even sure how, just floating above everybody's heads maybe, something like that. But he had always believed that somehow, life was fair. But it wasn't, it goddamn fuckin' wasn't. Not like this. This wasn't justice, this wasn't fair, this was just so, so goddamn wrong. Fuckin' everything.

He was sitting against one of the walls in the room, uncomfortable as fuck but - at least he could watch over her from here. Over Scarls.

No idea how long it had taken him. Eventually, he had gotten up, let her down on the ground, gently, all gently. Didn't want to hurt her. Maybe she'd feel it. Wherever it was she was at. So he hadn't wanted to hurt her.

He had wandered in circles, just looking at nothing, thinking about nothing. His face had been sticky, dried up. There hadn't been enough water left inside of him, he hadn't been able to cry anymore. He had wanted to, all he had wanted to do was that. Fuck if it did no good to him, fuck all that. He had just wanted to cry, but he couldn't even do that. Nothing was fair anymore.

Of course, it had to happen sooner or later. His thoughts got stuck in a messed up corner, smell of the blood got to him, everything just combining and then he just had to go and throw up. Had ran a good bit for that, down the hallway. He couldn't have done that near her, no way. Had searched himself a corner where he was hidden from all sight and then he had just hurled, hurled and hurled until he had felt like even his stomach was dead.

No idea how long ago that had been. He was sitting there now. Watching her, making sure she was comfortable like that. There on that scabby mattress. She deserved more. But that fuckin' thing was all he had been able to find for her.

Aiden was a tiny guy. But even so, even fuckin' so...he couldn't have just let her be like that, right? It wasn't right, just wasn't. Just lying around in that hallway, in a fuckin' dried up pool of fuckin' -

The thought alone made him shiver again and he instinctively covered his mouth. But it was fine, he had done it. All good now.

He had decided to at least make sure she wouldn't stay like that. Couldn't remember a single funeral in his life. Prolly because he had never been on one, except grandpa's. Mom had always told him about it, how he had been standing in front of the opened coffin, all small like that, not even knowing what the fuck was going on. Like, of course he didn't know back then, he had been three years old or something. He didn't remember a goddamn thing about it.

Now though, now he knew. And he knew that you couldn't just leave someone like that, let them lay around like...Fuck, god, there it was again. That fuckin' urge to cry, but he couldn't do that now. He had to protect her now, try and be a man. Protect her. Better than he had before.

He hadn't counted how many times he had tried, how many goddamn times he had been forced to let her down again until finally, finally he had been able to lift her up. She wasn't that tall. Taller than him, yeah, but like, still smaller somehow. Just Scarls, little old Scarls, so goddamn small and innocent and just - just - just Scarls.

He had looked through all the rooms before that. Looked for a good spot. Every room had one of those rickety lookin' cots, mattress on top. One of the rooms had looked fuckin' scary. Like some sort of savage fuckin' animal had been held in there. No way he'd bring Scarls in there.

That one room had looked decent enough. The one he was in right now. The one they were in. Again, taken him many tries, so many fucking tries. But he had done it. Cot wasn't too far above the floor, so not that hard to do. He had been careful, of course. Didn't want Scarls to hit her head or legs or anything somewhere, didn't want to hurt her, didn't want her to feel any more damn pain.

She was lying on top of that mattress now. Lying on her back. He had arranged her arms and hands so they were both resting on her stomach. Had seen that in a movie once. It was supposed to look like that, right? How it had to be done, how you made sure those people were comfortable for the afterlife. Scarls, Scarls, she had to be comfortable now. She could sleep in peace, no cold hard floor for her to worry about now. No pool of blood. Just a place to rest. She must have been tired.

And he'd watch her. He'd make sure nobody would come and try to hurt her again. He had to do this. He had fucked up everything before. He had led her away from safety. From Barry and Jonathan and that other chick. They were prolly all safe now. Set up camp somewhere. Scarls could have been with them.

He had fucked everything up.

He wanted Scarls to just get up and maybe rub her eyes and tell him she had a good sleep. Smile at him again, just something to show she was okay. Just something. Was that asking too much?

Scarls. Scarlett. Scarley Scarls. Why couldn't she come back?

He watched her, watched her from where he was sittin' down on the floor, resting against the wall. He wouldn't go away. This was where he belonged now, where he'd have to make up for all of it. For fucking up. Maybe then she would forgive him.

"It'll be fine." He was whispering. Maybe she'd hear it. From somewhere. She had to be somewhere. Maybe she'd hear him.

"It'll be fine, Scarls. You - you don't have to be scared anymore, you follow me? It'll be fine."

He still looked at her, looked at her face, looked at it from the side. She was facing the ceiling. Like she was sleeping. She just looked so, so fuckin'...normal. Like nothing was wrong.

Aiden clenched his fist. Then the other too. He had to look away.

"I'm sorry, Scarls. Fuck, I'm... can you just say you forgive me?" He swallowed; the lump in his throat felt like he was going to choke on it any second. "Please, say something."

He didn't get a response.

((Aiden Slattery continued in Nuts in May))