Done With This

[ThoDuSt]

The mall was just as busy as it ever was. It seemed the kidnapping had done little to stop everyone's fun... Or perhaps the rescue brought it back? Sam wasn't nearly as cheery as anyone else here seemed to be, but that was to be expected given what happened over the past few weeks.

In the time since the rescue, Samantha had become acutely aware of the fact that not everyone approved of assisted suicide. She had learned that on the island as well, but it was different now. On the island it looked like only one person would survive, and if you didn't want to be that person then you were already out of the game, even if not officially. Then the boats came. If she had known about the rescue before it happened then she wouldn't have killed anybody, nobody would have. Hindsight is a goddamn bitch, isn't it?

Occasionally someone recognized her; she wasn't as widely watched as some of the other survivors, but here in their home city all of them were bound to run across someone who had known them from before the abduction. The problem with being recognized came from her kills; sure, many other survivors had killed, but Sam had the highest count of those who escaped, and anyone who considered assisted suicide to be outright murder would dislike the fact that she was here walking around when anyone else who had her kill count was left for dead on the island. Maybe they were right. Hell, Sam herself had thought her body count was too high when she went to the beach.

She pushed blindly through the crowds hoping not to be recognized. What little she had needed to do at the mall had been done, so she made her way anxiously to the exit.

It was getting late, but she still felt that she needed to let off steam, so she decided to walk through a nearby park.


"Sam?" a voice called out.

Sam turned to face the person who spoke. It was Ash, Sam's best friend. She hadn't been able to go on the trip because she wasn't a senior.

"It is you! I almost didn't recognize you without your hoodie, and with your hair down," she continued, fidgeting slightly, "You haven't answered my calls or IMs or anything since you got back."

"I've had a lot on my mind," Sam said in response.

"Yeah, I know. I just, you know, I thought you might want to talk to someone about it."

"Not particularly, no."

"Come on, Sam. Even in the dark I can tell you're having problems dealing with this. You need to talk to someone about this." Ash said, accusingly.

"What makes you think that? I'm dealing just fine, thank you." Sam responded angrily.

"Because you weren't dealing well with the issues you had before you went on the trip and now-"

"What problems?"

"You were mopey and depressed for a long time before we even heard about the trip. That's why I- Look, I'm sorry, I don't blame you if hate me."

"Why- How could I hate you, you're my best friend."

"But I made you go," Ash said depressed.

"It's not your fault, you didn't know."

"You could have died! Because of me!"

"You didn't know!"

"I almost lost you because I wanted to be the one to help you, I could have pushed you to seek professional help, I-"

"Don't beat yourself up over it Ash."

"But-"

"Was there something specific you wanted to talk to me about or were you just trying to reconnect?" Sam said, attempting to change the topic.

"...Actually, yes. I do have something I wanted to tell you."

"...What?"

Ash took a deep breath, "My family is moving, Sam."

"What!? When is this happening? When did you find out?"

"It's happening later this summer. We've been planning it for awhile, since it's for his job we're probably lucky we got the amount of forewarning we did."

"Why didn't you tell me."

"Long Story, but I owe it to you: I thought that since you didn't have any after high school plans I might be able to manipulate things so that you could come too, maybe convince my parents to let us try living in our own apartment, but with those issues you had it wasn't likely. I tried to fix you, not because you needed it, although you did and still do, but because I was selfish and wanted to hoard you to myself and as a result you almost died! Not only that, but from how you looked on that island I think you wanted to. I was terrified that you were gonna do something to get yourself killed, and you did and it didn't work."

"It's okay Ash, really."

"No it not, I saw the signs and I didn't make you go to someone who could actually help, I just tried to do it myself and now you're more fucked up than before and it's all my fault. Forgive me."

"I forgive you really."

"Please tell me you'll go to a therapist."

"Okay."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"It's getting late, we should both go home and get some rest we can talk tomorrow, assuming you don't continue ignoring me."

"I won't... Do you still want to see if I can move with you."

"It's probably the best for both of us to consider that option unavailable now."

"Yeah... I suppose so."

Sam watched her friend turn and walk away, she had a lot of things to think about, a lot of problems to deal with. The island may have added many new ones to the list, but it was now glaringly obvious to Sam how many she should have been thinking about before the trip, and even though she almost died those problems were still things she needed to deal with. She had put off thinking about them before, but now she needed something to take her mind off of the past, and the future was as good a distraction as any as far as she could tell.

((Samantha Ridley continued in Crossroads))