Such Sweet Sorrow

[lovebirdjo*]

It was a frequent scenario that had been repeated oh-so many times over the years, but it seemed to truly never age; at least, not until it really occured. It taught that at any time or place one's world could change from complete paradise to ungodly hell. Not that anyone has paradise, of course. In truth, not one person could truly say they had it bad and it be fact, for with every second, something more horrible is happening. A murder; a rape. It didn't matter at the moment though. Madness and chaos were the two major things that the world loved to see for some odd reason, but sometimes things are taken a bit too far. See: Survival of the Fittest. It was a term that they had all heard before; the allusional phrase originating in most biology classes, but due to the past year's horrifying broadcasts over television, Darwin's Theory had taken a turn into some terrifying world of pure insanity. Sometimes things really were like they showed it on TV. In this case, a little bit too much like it. For someone, somewhere, this would be a major life changing thing to witness. Horrible though the whole situation really would end up being, in some way it would completely move someone. Danya's intentions weren't innocent, more along the lines of just for the amusement of the sick bastard. For the teens soon that were forced to participate, however, it would never move them, only kill them.

Sure, they would change over the course of the game, but at what cost? Their life being the most obvious answer, there are more that are worse. Their sanity. Their morality. Their religion. Their whole beings would be lost in the struggle to not only survive, but to truly live in the end. Heroes would die, and villains will be victorious. With a single murder, a person becomes tainted. In all reality, the winner of the whole program wouldn't be accomplished. He or she would be dead. Dead to the world and society because their mind and body would have been long lost to the game. Time stops for no one person, though, and soon it would be time to wake up and stop the peaceful dreaming, both figuratively and in reality, and the gravity of the situation would begin to hit home.

Hidden behind a field of corn on the south side of the island designated for Survival of the Fittest's activities, one certain female lay on the cold morning ground; fast asleep. It was slightly dark, with the moon preparing to be replaced by the early morning sun. Piercing the silence was mewling. A little tabby-coated kitten, no more than a few months old, was thrashing around inside of the unconsicous girl's duffel bag, frightened and confused. It had been there for some time, and by now it had gotten over the drug that it had been accidentally knocked out with along with the humans. Fighting, the little critter climbed up out of the small opening designated for him to breathe. It was a tight fit, but his small body was made for that kind of flexibility. First off, the kitten noted the darkness. Of course, the creature couldn't truly understand, but he knew that he was in unfamiliar surroundings. His name was George, given to him by the rather hulking form of the female he now stood staring down at. George recognized the scent of his houser, the pungent smell of human mixed with the smell of springtime flowers.

His mewling was louder this time, hoping to spur some sort of response from the girl. Incessantly he meowed, jumping from his duffel bag safehouse, the feline felt it was necessary to bring about some form of physical stimulus. Landing gracefully on his female homemaker's hip, George walked slowly down to her face, looking at it. The glasses she always wore irked him. In his lower intelligence, the spectacles were just a barrier between his master's skin and his fur. Oh how he loved it when she petted him playfully on the head, massaging behind his ears. George purred as he bent down over her face, pausing to listen to her breathing. Making sure she still lived, the tabby pushed his paws into her face, lovingly trying to evoke reaction so that he could both be fondled and fed. He was just a kitten after all.

Luckily, his actions weren't in vain. The fleshy lump that had previously been lying on the ground was none other than junior Lee-Ann Collier, Franklyn's semi-new girl and resident bookworm. Blissfully unaware of her surroundings, Lee-Ann didn't bother to open her eyes just yet. She heard George's soft mewls, but at the moment she was simply too tired to bother with her little friend. It took her a few minutes before she was ready to get up. When the girl finally had woken up, she slowly opened her eyes to complete darkness. At first she thought that she had gone completely blind, and the thought shocked her, but upon further inspection with her functioning one, Lee-Ann found that it was simply dark. She didn't recognize her surroundings, but could feel that she was on the ground. It was humid and chilly in the early morning shade, and momentarily the blonde female was thankful for her signature layered look.

That was, of course, when she began to really register her thoughts and think. In a matter of moments she had pretty much remembered everything that had been happening, and in one very swift motion, the blonde began vomiting uncontrollably. It was hard, slightly chafing her. Wondering why, Lee-Ann brought her hand to her neck and discovered the collar. It was shocking to find, even if she knew it was there unconsciously, and the whole situation really was horrible. 'I won't cry', she silently told herself, even though her eyes were beginning to water already.  She had cried before, during the happenings on the bus. The blonde didn't mess with the collar any more, ceasing her actions as she had seen what would happen before. Gagging in disgust at the thought, Lee-Ann lifted her head, the slightest liquidy bit of her vomit on the corner of her lip. She couldn't be bothered to care, however, as she recalled the happenings on the bus in her mind's eye.

The students of Franklyn Senior High School were obviously screwed. They knew it quite well. Actually, to go along with how the situation stood in their teenage minds... they were fucked over; raped, even. Many knew what was happening as soon as the hijacking began. It was obvious to Lee-Ann. They had been picked out of thousands of schools by some horrible man named Mr. Danya who sat in his chair and forced them to kill each other for his amusement. The sick bastard. Their own classmates! How twisted could someone get, making such a horrible thing happen? It had begun as soon as the terrorists had gotten onto their bus. First and foremost, they had been forced to watch their teachers die a painful death. Even worse, forced to watch as one of their own was killed off right in front of them. It had completely scarred their minds, the ones that had witnessed it. Unfortunately for Lee-Ann, she had seen it up close. Mr. Dolph, who had been one of her favorite teachers, had been slaughtered right in front of her by that bitch on the bus, his blood staining the window next to her.

At this reminiscent thought, Lee-Ann gagged again, nearly spewing another stream of the vile substance onto her clothes, which would have upset her to no end. Her favorite outfit, with its beautiful yellow and white. It would be of no use to her on the island. She knew it. Thankfully, though, the blonde had brought some useful clothes like overalls and jeans. It was supposed to be a camping trip after all. She decided to blank the memories from her thoughts for the time being. It was nearly seven o' clock in the morning according to her watch, and she definitely wanted to have some form of comfort before the game truly began. Yes, Lee-Ann knew all about Survival of the Fittest. How could she not? It was morbidly fascinating for her during the past year, and the blonde would watch in horror as teen by teen was murdered on her bedroom television screen. Her mother and father let her be, of course, for at the time she and her daughter were still recovering emotionally from the loss of her baby.

The now mattered more than the past at this point, and Lee-Ann forgot It didn't seem real to Lee-Ann that she was in the game. In fact, the idea was absurd to the maximun degree possible. How could she really be forced to kill someone, especially her friends? She could barely eat without injuring herself, much less have enough dexterity to fend off an attacker. 'Of course, if the competion is skinny, I can always sit on them.' she thought bitterly, with a sided bit of disgust with herself for even thinking of playing the game. That was before something sparked a lightbulb inside her brain.

"I've got to check the pack and see what I've got to defend myself." she said aloud, kind of confirming what she knew to be truth anyways. Another mewl alerted her nervously, but looking down, she was ecstatic to see a familiar face. George crept up the long skirt she was wearing to rest in her lap comfortably, expecting some nourishment.

"I brought food for you, little one. Don't worry. It's in my duffel bag, remember? Wait. That's where you should be. Wait. Huh? The terrorists are letting me keep you on the island? I thought they'd take out any complicating things, and a pet certainly complicates things." Another thought crossed her mind. What would happen to George? She certainly couldn't just abandon him. It would be cruel. Suddenly her eye became wide with fear, the other growing in size, but lacking the emotion. What about Marimar? The brunette was Lee-Ann's busmate and probably best friend since she had been at Franklyn, but the blonde certainly knew that her friend was naive beyond all reason. She wouldn't survive a day on the island, much less the entire time. What about Laura? She was a survivor, not at all naive like their mermaid friend. A final thought crossed her mind. 'What will happen to me?'

Lee-Ann hadn't even been thinking about it, but with the other questions in mind, it jumped out at her. She knew on some level that it was useless to cry, but instead of keeping the promise to herself, she let it go, silently crying out in anguish. 'Why?! Please God, tell me why! Are you listening to me God? I'm praying; I really am. You're supposed to be hearing my pleas and giving me some holy sign that everything will be all right... I- I'm doing this because it's all that I really can do now. What else is there for me to? Go out and die? Can't you just tell me why, dammit!? Please... Oh God... is this my punishment for something? Are you getting me back for my questioning your existence up until now? Is that what all of this is about? Is it??? Haven't I suffered enough? Couldn't you have just let me die normally instead of forcing me into this? You know as well as I do that they always say "God has plans for you.", but is this what they thought that you had in mind? Do they ever think of things like that? That you sit on your almighty throne and watch as we struggle. Choice my ass. It contradicts your existence, what they say. You know what God...? If this is all you have planned for me, then I have only one thing to say to you. Fuck off.' she thought, angry at the supposed higher being that had worked to make her life a hell. She cursed him, even though she had never said 'fuck' in her life. She flung silent insults at him, and wept in earnest. It made her feel better, even just in the slightest, that she could blame her problems all on God "almighty".

For one moment Lee-Ann opened her eyes and looked to the sky. She prayed once more, this time asking one thing. 'If I have to die, just let me save my friends. Please... I'll gladly take death if I can save them. So, watch over me until then, that's all I'll ask of you. After that, I'll take my place in hell. I always knew I'd die young, but... this wasn't what I had in mind.' The blonde knew that it was all in vain, but it empowered her. Her face, wet and red from the crying, took on a look of both strength and sadness as she looked down at the tabby eyeing her with a curious, unfathoming look. "George, don't worry. We'll find shelter somewhere. Then, we'll both eat." the larger girl told her feline accompaniement with affection. She had gotten up by now, wiped off the bits of dirt from her skirt, and grabbed her bags. Again, she thought smartly, and suddenly went into her duffel bag. Grabbing a plain pair of overalls, a light green T-shirt, and her pair of boots, the blonde set about to changing out of the clothes that would only weigh her down on the island.

After changing, Lee-Ann decided to get her materials together, and immediately grabbed the things she would need from her duffel bag: her hygiene necessities such as her toothpaste and toothbrush, the book "Herbal Remedies" that she had recently checked out of Franklyn's library, the ten tins of moist cat food for George, a picture of her parents that she stopped to smile lovingly at, and the music she had brought to practice. Putting the objects in a pile, the blonde female grabbed the larger day pack that she had been assigned by those heading Survival of the Fittest. First, she found the survival guide written by Danya himself. The bastard told her everything she already knew in the book, but Lee-Ann quickly read it over anyway. Delving in again, the girl found the rest of the items rather satisfactory, at least until she found the toilet paper.

"Toilet paper. What in the world is this doing here?" It took the girl a couple of natural "blonde moments" before she looked back in the back and found it empty. "No way. There's no damn way." she said aloud in indignance. Putting two and two together, Lee-Ann came to the realization that she had been assigned a roll of toilet paper as a weapon. Just the thought was hilarious, but she could find nothing funny about the situation and her misfortune. It almost made her cry again, but with the kitten at her feet's incessant mewls of hunger, she just let her hand make a lude and suggestive gesture to the brightening sky. 'The sky...' she thought, looking at her watch. It was now eight in the morning, and most people would have woken up by now. Placing all of the items back in her bag except for the compass and map. She recognized the corn stalks and a ranchhouse in the area, and instinctively, she knew to head north. So, taking the compass in hand and placing the map in her pocket, Lee-Ann prepared to head out. Shouldering the day pack, she looked down at the duffel bag in slight sadness, knowing that her clothes, memories from her lifetime, would be forever lost in the game, and eventually lost to her, after her death.

Without another thought, Lee-Ann scooped up George, the kitten giving a protesting meow, and looking down at the compass, the blonde headed north in search of her friends; the wind blowing in her free hair, silently comforting her. Silence meant peace, and she hoped that it stayed that way for as long as possible.

((Continued in Running Water))