Julien Leblanc

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Endellion
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Julien Leblanc

#1

Post by Endellion »

Name: Julien Leblanc
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Grade: Senior
School: George Hunter High School
Hobbies and Interests: Video games, TV and classic films, music (preference for rock and 80s pop), card games, running and climbing

Appearance: Julien is fairly tall, standing at 5'10" and weighing 181 pounds, with a slim figure, toned arms and legs and a strong core. He has blonde hair done up into a ponytail, often held in place by a violet barrette, that sits at neck length with a slight curl at the ends when worn down, is clean-shaven and has light blue eyes.

A scar just above the left eye has split that eyebrow in half, and another scar spans across the bridge of his nose. He is Caucasian, of French-American descent, and his skin is lightly tanned. He has an oval-shaped face and defined features, with a thin nose, round eyes and thin lips.

His wardrobe is somewhat limited, comprised mainly of T-shirts, letterman jackets, jeans and sneakers. Julien also owns hiking boots and a two-piece set of motorcycle leathers that he wears when called for. On the day of the abduction, he was wearing a white T-shirt with a black skull with sapphires in its eye sockets and wearing a gold crown printed out on the front and the phrase 'XIII - Death' in black beneath it, black Converse and blue jeans of regular fit with a black leather belt. His accessories were half-fingered climbing gloves and an analogue watch with black straps.

Biography: Julien Leblanc was born in April 13th, 2000 to Claire and Adrian Leblanc. His mother worked with Child Protective Services, and his father was a computer technician specialising in diagnostics and repairs. She was on unpaid maternity leave at the time of his birth, but they had few monetary concerns due to having saved up in the intervening months, Julien being the only child they had to provide for and his father's job being fairly lucrative.

When the maternity leave ended and Claire had to return to work, they made a habit of hiring sitters to look after him when neither of them could be present. He was raised attentively, but the lack of prolonged contact with his parents fostered a detachment in him as he grew up. He didn't take well to the social nature of elementary school, being more reserved than many of his peers and choosing instead to study. It set a pattern for his future academic pursuits, but his withdrawal and apparent aversion to interaction with others drew the attention of his parents. To remedy that, they made efforts to establish a more personal presence in their son's life as and when they were able.

Middle school went in much the same way for him as elementary school had. He remained relatively uninteresting and glided below the radar of those who might pick on him, showing a preference for English classes and anything that relied particularly on writing. Having often asked for a console as a present, he received a Playstation Vita with several games on one of his birthdays. He took to it quickly, liking the ability to take it with him wherever he went and not having to stay in one place to play, and he prefers role-playing games for something lasting to immerse himself in.

As Julien grew and they reached the points in their careers where they were afforded the ability to work from home more, his parents began to spend more time attempting to involve themselves in his life and reinforce bridges they believed that they could have better built. Claire made a habit of dedicating some of her free time to playing games of chance, watching films and hearing him out as he made an effort to talk about whatever was on his mind at the time, stifled as it was by the difficulties he had quickly articulating his thoughts, and Adrian began to share parts of his music collection with him.

His taste in card games favours blackjack and poker in particular; individual rounds don't tend to take especially long unless there are many players, but playing well still requires focus on the game, qualities he finds to be suited to him. Julien isn't biased against playing for money, although he is aware that people tend to take it notably more seriously when money changing hands is involved and makes a point of paying his dues as and when necessary.

Julien prefers rock and 80s pop bands when it comes to music, owing to the influence of his parents, tending to fill playlists with them and listen while running. He favours the likes of Radiohead and Wham most, citing their instrumental focus and feeling that the singers work well with the rest of the band as his reasons for showing preference. In regards to movies, his preference leans away from the contemporary. Classic films, Westerns especially, line most of his collection with few exceptions. His choices in literature are more drawn-out fare, a personal taste that he acquired during a holiday to France and kept after returning. All of them serve to help him unwind and find reprieve from his stress.

When he made his way into George Hunter High, taking French and literature as his electives, it was a markedly different experience for him. Not being a sociable person, he adapted poorly to the new environment which he entered. The attempt he made to fly beneath the radar was successful, but had the side-effect of isolating him from his peers and exacerbating his stress as he became rueful over the experiences he perceived to be passing him by and was gradually led into a malaise and increasing frustration. It did not noticeably affect his academic performance, as he still generally manages Bs and As, straight or not, in his classes to the present day, but bled through into other aspects of his life.

Julien enjoys science and math the most, enjoying being able to see actionable results come from the effort he puts in to learn. While he takes care to try and see that his results stay relatively even across the board, his least favourite subject is history; he enjoys putting what he learns to good use, and doesn't believe that learning about the distant pasts of others is just something to know and not a thing that will prove relevant in his life, though he does show some interest when it comes to more modern times to avoid being ignorant about them.

Julien took to running and climbing during his time in high school, first as a counterbalance to the sedentary tendencies he had developed and later because he found that being in good shape led to him feeling better about himself and began working to maintain what he had established. He keeps to designated climbing spots outside for the most part, though began to deviate from them somewhat as he gained experience with it.

His schedule typically involves running in the early morning, playing games or making use of Netflix in the evening and climbing on the weekends, but he can and has deviated from it to spend time with his parents or if schoolwork requires it.

An accident during one of his trips to the outskirts of the city resulted in him being concussed, having a nasal fracture and a cut to his eyebrow which required stitches. His parents took a much more direct interest in his physical well-being after that, with no small amount of chastisement for getting himself injured in such a manner as he recovered from it. He didn't do anything particularly adventurous during that time so that he could placate his parents and let the injuries to his face heal correctly. After they had, Julien took to wearing glasses to hide the fairly prominent scar that it had left. They took a much more active interest when he first returned to climbing, but their schedules and his repeatedly demonstrated learned caution led to them stepping back somewhat in time.

When he leaves high school, he plans to attend the University of Tennessee in Chattanooga and has considered aiming to graduate with a degree in computer science. He's undecided on the matter of what he may do past that point, however, and even if he may choose that vocation. He intends to dedicate himself to whatever he chooses, with the main cause of his indecision being the matter of whether to follow his father's career choice or opt for something different and further distinguish himself as a person.

The first impression that he leaves on other people is a matter that he takes quite seriously, whether it's to be a positive or negative one; Julien is often peaceable and aims to keep on good terms with his peers, but he will turn to a more hostile approach to interaction quickly if prompted. Attempts to take advantage of others, particularly those who may not be the most aware of such manipulation when it takes place, and particular insinuations being made about his closest friend will reliably elicit such a reaction. He is willing to turn to physical violence in moments of anger which are usually caused by such remarks, though will likely be affected by his conscience after the fact.

He doesn't make a habit of actively leading conversations, preferring to listen rather than speak so that he can respond to people and is afforded some time to construct an appropriate response to what they say. Julien does have opinions on a variety of subjects and is happy to speak his mind, be pulled into debates and become more informed if possible. It is idle and highly personal conversation where he is lacking, being of the opinion that his day-to-day life is much too uninteresting to hold the attention of others and being too concerned with the possibility of others looking down on him or using his worries as leverage against him to confide about personal matters.

Advantages: Julien is in good physical condition, has some degree of knowledge on the use of firearms thanks to time spent shooting with his father or best friend and is capable of making well thought-out decisions. He has a relatively established group of friends and acquaintances to fall back onto in the event he comes across them, on top of being liable to seek out his closest friend. He is likely to take a more peaceful approach to encounters, which could serve to avoid violence.
Disadvantages: He is liable to resort to violence, which could be drawn to the forefront by particular incitements. Situations where there is little in the way of time to think things through or no chance to make peace would force him out of his comfort zone, and a peaceful bent would be of little use against others who have decided to play the game.
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#2

Post by backslash »

Hey Endy! Before Julien can be given a proper critique, please make sure that his profile fully matches the template. Specifically, you need to go through and make sure your section headers are bolded. Thanks!
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
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Endellion
Posts: 280
Joined: Tue Aug 14, 2018 9:33 am

#3

Post by Endellion »

All done.
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Slam
Posts: 1144
Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:07 pm

#4

Post by Slam »

Hi End! Julien's in a good place, but DENIED for now as I'd like to see some more elaboration in a few areas. My grammar comments are in yellow and content comments are in cyan.
Name: Julien Leblanc
Gender: Male
Age: 17
Grade: Senior
School: George Hunter High School
Hobbies and Interests: This heading still needs bolding. Video games, TV and classic films, music (preference for rock and 80s pop), card games, and exercise I’d specify running and climbing here rather than the more general ‘exercise’, since those are the two you’ve decided to specify later in the profile.

Appearance: Julien is fairly tall, standing at 5'10" and weighing 181 pounds, with a slim figure, toned arms and legs and a strong core. He has blonde hair done up into a ponytail, often held in place by a violet barrette, that sits at neck length with a slight curl at the ends when worn down, is clean-shaven and has light blue eyes. I’d recommend splitting this last part out into a new sentence, as it runs on a bit otherwise. A scar just above the left eye has split that eyebrow in half, and another scar spans across the bridge of his nose. He is Caucasian, of French-American descent, and his skin is lightly tanned. He has an oval-shaped face and defined features, with a thin nose, round eyes and thin lips.

His wardrobe is somewhat limited, comprised mainly of T-shirts, letterman jackets, jeans and sneakers. Julien also owns hiking boots and a two-piece set of motorcycle leathers that he wears when called for. On the day of the abduction, he was wearing a white T-shirt with a black skull with sapphires in its eye sockets and wearing a gold crown printed out on the front and the phrase 'XIII - Death' in black beneath it, blue jeans of regular fit with a black leather belt, half-fingered climbing gloves, an analogue watch with black straps and black Converse. This sentence is also a bit long and wouldn’t hurt from being split in two.

Biography: Julien Leblanc was born in April 13th, 2000 Julien needs to be 18 then, since V7 takes place after April. to Claire and Adrian Leblanc. His mother worked with Child Protective Services, and his father was a computer technician specialising in diagnostics and repairs. She was on unpaid maternity leave at the time of his birth, but they had few monetary concerns due to having saved up in the intervening months, Julien being the only child they had to provide for and his father's job being fairly lucrative.

When the maternity leave ended and Claire had to return to work, they made a habit of hiring sitters to look after him when neither of them could be present. He was raised attentively, but the lack of prolonged contact with his parents fostered a detachment in him as he grew up. He didn't take well to the social nature of elementary school, being more reserved than many of his peers and choosing instead to study. It set a pattern for his future academic pursuits, but his withdrawal and apparent aversion to interaction with others drew the attention of his parents. Did anything happen? If not, why not?

Middle school went in much the same way for him as elementary school had. He remained relatively uninteresting and glided below the radar of those who might pick on him, showing a preference for English classes and anything that relied particularly on writing. Having often asked for a console as a present, he received a Sony handheld Could you be more specific? As far as I can tell this will either be a Playstation Portable or a Playstation Vita, but if it's something else do say so. with several games on one of his birthdays. He took to it quickly, liking the ability to take it with him wherever he went and not having to stay in one place to play, and he prefers role-playing games for something lasting to immerse himself in.

As Julien grew and they reached the points in their careers where they were afforded the ability to work from home more, his parents began to spend more time attempting to involve themselves in his life and reinforce bridges they believed that they could have better built. Claire made a habit of dedicating some of her free time to playing games of chance, watching films and hearing him out as he made an effort to talk about whatever was on his mind at the time, stifled as it was by the difficulties he had quickly articulating his thoughts, and Adrian began to share parts of his music collection with him.

His taste in card games favours blackjack and poker in particular; individual rounds don't tend to take especially long unless there are many players, but playing well still requires focus on the game, qualities he finds to be suited to him. Julien isn't biased against playing for money, although he is aware that people tend to take it notably more seriously when money changing hands is involved and makes a point of paying his dues as and when necessary.

Julien prefers rock and 80s pop bands when it comes to music, Why? tending to fill playlists with them and listen while running. He favours the likes of Radiohead and Wham most, citing their instrumental focus and feeling that the singers work well with the rest of the band as his reasons for showing preference. In regards to movies, his preference leans away from the contemporary. Classic films, Westerns especially, line most of his collection with few exceptions. Why not contemporary and why Westerns? His choices in literature are more introspective fare. Why? All of them serve to help him unwind and find reprieve from his stress.

When he made his way into George Hunter High, taking French and literature as his electives, it was a markedly different experience for him. Not being a sociable person, he adapted poorly to the new environment which he entered. The attempt he made to fly beneath the radar was successful, but had the side-effect of isolating him from his peers and exacerbating his stress as he became rueful over the experiences he perceived to be passing him by and was gradually led into a malaise and increasing frustration. It did not noticeably affect his academic performance, as he still generally manages Bs and As, straight or not, in his classes to the present day, but bled through into other aspects of his life. This sentence is a bit awkward with the hopping between tenses and comma placement, I’d suggest giving it a quick rewrite.

Julien enjoys science and math the most, Is this because he likes putting his results to good use? At the moment it’s not clear whether that’s why these are his favourite subjects or whether that applies to why history is his least. though he takes care to try and see that his results stay relatively even across the board, and his least favourite subject is history. He enjoys putting what he learns to good use, and doesn't believe that learning about the distant pasts of others is just something to know and not a thing that will prove relevant in his life, though he does show some interest when it comes to more modern times to avoid being ignorant about them.

Julien took to running and climbing during his time in high school, first as a counterbalance to the sedentary tendencies he had developed and later because he found that being in good shape led to him feeling better about himself and began working to maintain what he had established. Why these two in particular? He keeps to designated climbing spots outside for the most part, though began to deviate from them somewhat as he gained experience with it.

His schedule typically involves running in the early morning, playing games or making use of Netflix in the evening and climbing on the weekends, but he can and has deviated from it to spend time with his parents or if schoolwork requires it.

An accident during one of his trips to the outskirts of the city resulted in him being concussed, having a nasal fracture and a cut to his eyebrow which required stitches. His parents took a much more direct interest in his well-being after that, with no small amount of chastisement for getting himself injured in such a manner as he recovered from it. Hadn’t they already been making an effort to spend more time with him? If you mean his physical wellbeing, you might be better off specifying that or saying safety instead. He didn't do anything particularly adventurous during that time so that he could placate his parents and let the injuries to his face heal correctly. After they had, Julien took to wearing glasses to hide the fairly prominent scar that it had left. Did his parents stop showing interest in his safety or did he do something else to placate them?

When he leaves high school, he plans to attend the University of Tennessee in Chattanooga and has considered aiming to graduate with a degree in computer science. He's undecided on the matter of what he may do past that point, however, and even if he may choose that vocation. He intends to dedicate himself to whatever he chooses, but is unsure whether to follow his father's career choice or opt for something different. Is computer science an area that actually interests him or is it just because his dad does it?

The first impression that he leaves on other people is a matter that he takes quite seriously, whether it's to be a positive or negative one; Julien is often peaceable and aims to keep on good terms with his peers, but he will turn to a more hostile approach to interaction quickly if prompted. Attempts to take advantage of others, particularly those with disorders of the mind, Why? and particular insinuations being made about his closest friend will reliably elicit such a reaction. He is willing to turn to physical violence in moments of anger which are usually caused by such remarks, though will likely be affected by his conscience after the fact.

He doesn't make a habit of actively leading conversations, preferring to listen rather than speak so that he can respond to people and is afforded some time to construct an appropriate response to what they say. Julien does have opinions on a variety of subjects and is happy to speak his mind, be pulled into debates and become more informed if possible. It is idle and highly personal conversation where he is lacking, being of the opinion that his day-to-day life is much too uninteresting to hold the attention of others and being too concerned with the possibility of others looking down on him or using his worries as leverage against him to confide about personal matters.

Advantages: Julien is in good physical condition, has a limited degree of knowledge on the use of firearms This isn’t justified in the profile; watching Westerns isn’t really enough to let it fly, since it wouldn’t put Julien sufficiently high enough above the other average student. Remove or elaborate, please. and is capable of making well thought-out decisions on the island. I get that Julien thinks things through but the island is a pretty intense situation; it would come across better if you just specified he can make well thought-out decisions and not include the island context. He has a relatively established group of friends and acquaintances to fall back onto in the event he comes across them, Nothing to suggest he benefits from this more than other students, so it’s a bit wishy washy as an advantage. on top of being liable to seek out his closest friend, Faith. Full name, please. Faith could do with a mention in the biography if she’s showing up in advantages, and also why seeking her out specifically will play in his favour. He is likely to take a more peaceful approach to encounters, which could serve to avoid violence.
Disadvantages: He is liable to resort to violence, which could be drawn to the forefront by the right incitements, Faith being a reliable way to do so. Situations where there is little in the way of time to think things through or no chance to make peace would force him out of his comfort zone, and a peaceful bent would be of little use against others who have decided to play the game. The death of his friends, when it occurs, could elicit an extreme reaction from him. This is a bit of a generic disadvantage and nothing about Julien suggests he’d be worse at dealing with his friend dying than anyone else.
Let me know when you've made these changes and I'll give Julien another look. Thanks!
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Endellion
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#5

Post by Endellion »

All listed changes have been addressed.
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Slam
Posts: 1144
Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:07 pm

#6

Post by Slam »

Better; there’s a few points I need you to look at again:
He has blonde hair done up into a ponytail, often held in place by a violet barrette, that sits at neck length with a slight curl at the ends when worn down, is clean-shaven and has light blue eyes.
My comment on being overly long referred to this part, not the part you've split into a new paragraph. Again, it could do with being split into more than one sentence; I'd suggest the part after the last comma, as this is talking about something new rather than a continuation of the discussion of his hair.
It set a pattern for his future academic pursuits, but his withdrawal and apparent aversion to interaction with others drew the attention of his parents. To remedy that, they made efforts to establish a more personal presence in their son's life as and when they were able.
I’m guessing based on the rest of the profile this didn’t do a tonne for Julien’s introversion, but I could do with a line in the profile on what effect this had, if any.
Having often asked for a console as a present, he received a Playstation Vita with several games on one of his birthdays.
A bit unnecessarily ambiguous about which birthday here; considering he’s in middle school, we’re talking 11th, 12th or 13th birthday here, so take your pick.
In regards to movies, his preference leans away from the contemporary. Classic films, Westerns especially, line most of his collection with few exceptions.
Again, need to know why not contemporary films and why classics and Westerns instead.
His choices in literature are more drawn-out fare, a personal taste that he acquired during a holiday to France and kept after returning.
‘Drawn-out fare’ is too vague, I don’t know what genre these books are or what sort of content they have that Julien apparently likes. The fact that he acquired the taste during a French holiday also doesn’t tell me what he actually likes about these sorts of books, so do please let me know.
Julien took to running and climbing during his time in high school, first as a counterbalance to the sedentary tendencies he had developed and later because he found that being in good shape led to him feeling better about himself and began working to maintain what he had established.
Still need to know why he chose these particular sports. Wanting to get fit doesn’t indicate what drew him to these choices in particular over another sort of exercise.
When he leaves high school, he plans to attend the University of Tennessee in Chattanooga and has considered aiming to graduate with a degree in computer science. He's undecided on the matter of what he may do past that point, however, and even if he may choose that vocation. He intends to dedicate himself to whatever he chooses, with the main cause of his indecision being the matter of whether to follow his father's career choice or opt for something different and further distinguish himself as a person.
Still need to know whether he actually likes computer science or not, and if so why.
has some degree of knowledge on the use of firearms thanks to time spent shooting with his father and best friend
Not mentioned in the biography. Either needs an addition to the biography mentioning this or a removal from advantages.
He has a relatively established group of friends and acquaintances to fall back onto in the event he comes across them, on top of being liable to seek out his closest friend.
Being liable to seek out his closest friend doesn’t really count as an advantage or a disadvantage; it’s something a lot of high school students would probably do in such a situation. The established friend circle is fine though.

On a separate note, you don’t need to be so coy about naming his best friend. What I meant before was that if you were going to name Faith as his best friend, then it would be better to mention her in the biography, even if said mention is just a quick line saying: ‘his closest friend is Faith Marshal-MacKenzie.’
He is liable to resort to violence, which could be drawn to the forefront by particular incitements.
Could you just elaborate a bit on how this is actually a disadvantage to Julien? The point of SOTF is to kill the other students, after all, and violence is a positive step towards achieving that.


Post here when you've responded to all of these, and I'll give Julien another look. Thanks!
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#7

Post by backslash »

This character biography has had no alterations for more than two weeks and has been put in the abandoned characters forum. This profile is eligible for resubmission by the handler upon alterations requested by the staff.
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
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