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The Toughest Audience

Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2019 7:14 am
by Aura
"You know, this one time I threw an empty shoebox, and the corner actually made a little dent in the wall."  Rene let out a little half-smirk as she told her story.  "Yeah, I'd never seen something with so little substance make such an impact.  Of course, that's not true anymore, since Twilight became a big thing and all."  She paused, letting the usual post-joke hold for laughter run its course.

However, instead of laughter or applause, she was met with absolute silence, mostly because she was telling these jokes to her own reflection in the bathroom mirror.

Rene sighed and shook her head in disgust, pulling out a pen and scribbling on a notepad.  "No, that's never gonna work.  Twilight's totally played out.  All the jokes about it are cliches now."  She muttered to herself as she updated her list.  She had been at this for the past half-hour or so.  Her parents still hadn't come home from work for the day, so she took advantage of the spare time to practice some material that she had been working on. The empty house was helpful because it prevented the awkward situation of having to talk to her parents about why she was talking to herself in the mirror.

She was starting to feel good about her work.  She was getting her stage mannerisms down and tripping over her jokes a lot less than she used to.  Her main problem now was the material itself.  She had been taking notes every time she came up with a good joke during the day, but now that she was trying them out, she wasn't happy with any of them.  She always came up with good quips at school, so why was it that none of her previously prepared jokes were hitting the mark?

She tapped her pen on the next joke on the list before placing the notepad back on the counter and returning to her "performance", using the pen as a stand-in microphone.  She paced a bit, thinking about the best way to deliver the joke.  She chuckled to herself in an attempt to psyche herself up.

"So you know when an MMA fighter knocks someone out in a fight?  You know how everyone after the fight's all like 'wow, you knocked that guy out'?  Well I'm like, what's the big deal?  Really?"  She shrugged with her free hand and arched an eyebrow.  "They're trained to do that.  It's like being impressed by a waiter serving you a side of fries."  Rene then pointed at her reflection.  "You know what would impress me?  If the waiter knocked out the MMA fighter!  Now that's a story I'd want to see!"

End joke, and hold for laughter.

Rene mulled it over in her head, trying to figure out if the joke was as good as it was when she thought of it, and wondering whether her stage antics worked with it or not.  Her eyebrows raised a few times and she pursed her lips as she thought over each aspect of the joke.  After careful consideration, she picked up her notepad and made a small note.

"Not bad.  Got some potential, at least."

She moved the pen down to the next joke and tapped the paper once before setting it back down.  She took up her stance once again.  Looking out at the "audience", microphone-pen in hand.  She took a deep breath and started again.

"Okay, so I went to McDonalds the other day..."