Survival Of The Fittest

Ish okay. Everything is aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayokay. He wash...little drunk, little drunk, no biggie. Happens aaaaaall the time. He could handle a few drinks. It was party time, whooooooo! Good, uh, good boosh, some food or sometin, yeah, pretty good, pretty good. Bro. Bro. Bro. What they really need though?

Ladiesh.

Speaking of which, heeeellooooo. Long black hair, piercings, punk chic kinda clothes, he could dig it. Yeah, yeah. Reminded him of, wuzza name, yeah, yeah, he could go for that. Time to put on the moves.

Oh shiiiii, that's not a, that's a, what was, ahahahahaha, speak of the devil! Think? Shpeak? Didn't matter, Jae was here. Man, he hadn't seen that guy in like, a million years. Good timesh. Gooooooood times. No lady anymore though. But Jae was hot, so, y'know, it was okay.

Ahahahaha, what was he thinking?

He should totally talk to him though. Totally. Yeah, yeah.

Okay, okay, so picture this:

You're at some party, right? Doesn't matter whose. What matters is the drinks. Like, everyone pretends that they just want to hang out and have fun and maybe stick their tongue down the throat of whoever is willing, but that's all just the icing on the cake or whatever. It's the drinks. And the drinks are okay, could be better, but it's not about the taste either. It's about the alcohol. And the proverbial Force was a little bit stronger here with some than with others.

Jae had a tendency to get fucked up real quick, was the point here.

He'd officially crossed the line between "kinda fucked up" to "defs fucked up" some time ago, like right around the time that "defs" became an okay thing to say. Think. Whatevs. The train was officially pulled into Defs Station in Fuckedupville, was the point here. Probably well on its way to Totes Station by now.

And then this asshole rolls up.

The grudge that Jae had been nurturing for the better part of the school year reared its ugly head before his higher brain even registered who it was, because the lizard brain was on top of that shit. Killer survival instinct, know who you can and can't trust. And you can't fucking trust Isaac Brea. Because, because... fuck him, alright? Fuck Isaac Brea. Right in his stupid face.

Fortunately, Jae had been preparing for this moment for months. Not fantasizing about it, that's getting creepy even with the aid of alcohol, but he's thought about it from time to time because fuck Isaac Brea, alright? So when Isaac stumbled into him, Jae fixed him with the steadiest glare he could manage and let Isaac know exactly what he thought of him.

"Youuuu... fucker."

Yes, good. Great start.

Whaaaaaaa? That was a helluva way to start a conversayshmun, man. Like, super personal too. But he had been, y'know, hearing stuff. About them. So that made sense. If he was gonna get involved with her, man, he should know, right? Right. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely should shoot straight about the whole thing.

"...yeeeeeaaah, man. 'course. Didju?"

There. Now that was all out in the open they could move on, prolly. Or like, maybe he'd want details?

Would he want details?

Was Jae weird like that?

He dunno. Dun really know the guy that well. They did a, uh, thing together, long time ago, school thing, went well. Maybe. Hard to remember. Oooh shit, maybe he'd be pissed about this though. Suuuuuper pissed. Fuuuuuuuuuuck.

Wherza chips again?

Isaac was asking a question. No, no, Isaac thought Jae was asking him a question. Something like that. Something about something he'd done?

It took a long moment for Jae's sloshed brain to connect the dots, but when it did his scowl only deepened. This motherfucker. "You don't..." He tried to take a step towards Isaac to maybe capitalize on the height difference or something. Slipped, or maybe his shoes stuck to the floor. People were messy. Goddamn nasty, sometimes. Point was, there was something on the floor that his feet didn't agree with. Might've been gravity.

He stumbled and had to grab Isaac's sleeve for support. Stupid shirt, one of those thin checkered ones that were supposed to be flannel but weren't. Fake flannel. Why in the everloving fuck would you want fake flannel? Fucking Isaac Brea.

"Don't you fuckin'... talk about her." Hazel was his... his friend. Yeah. Friend. And whatever the fuck kind of mess had gone down between her and Isaac, he didn't deserve to joke about it. This motherfucker, going around at parties and telling stories and jokes like it was anybody's fucking business. No taste, in social skills or in fashion.

Jae was getting in close. Waaaay too close. But maybe not. Maybe this was a bro thing. Were they becoming bros? They could be bros. Maybe thish guy wasn't so bad? He was all concerned and shit about how he didn't talk about Hazel. Isaac had never, y'know, seen Jae's shensitive side 'n shit. It was kinda touching, even if they were almost touching and that was a whole thing, man.

Shrug. "Well, uh, hi mean, yeah, yeah...it's like, the break-up, it wasn't so good, y'know? And like, we don't really talk anymore, and that's weird 'cuz we were, y'know, a thing, right, but  ever since I don't talk to her or about her and she doesn't talk to me and now it'sh like...who are we even, you get me? Aaaaah, you get me, I knew it."

Uuuup we go, Mishter Hand. Get nice and comfy on Jae's shoulder. Gonna be gooood buds now. They were bashically staring each other in the face at this point. Jae had really pretty eyes. Fuck did he just think that fuck fuck fuck fuck redo

This was not... going the way it should have. They were gonna fight or something, and now they were like... having a fucking heart-to-heart about Isaac and Hazel's break-up? And Isaac was just casually touching him, like that was a thing that people did. And okay, technically Jae was the one who touched Isaac first, but that was because he was about to fall down otherwise and the floor seemed sticky from whatever had been spilled there earlier in the evening and ech.

"I, uh..." Didn't know what to do now. He was still pretty pissed, yeah, but it was hard to focus. Isaac was way more drunk than he was, too; if Jae was fucked up, Isaac was real fucked up. The drunk train had gone all the way to the end of the line and then plowed through the wall at the end of the subway tunnel and just kept on going. They were close enough that Jae could smell it on his breath. (Which was, incidentally, way too close, but balance wasn't really working right now.)

"It sounded... bad. Yeah. She was real upset." Jae tightened his grip on Isaac's sleeve and jostled him a little, the only way he could think of to punctuate his point. Trade one reason to be pissed at him for another, didn't matter. He just wanted to get through to Isaac and make him actually feel bad for all the shit he'd pulled. Fuck Isaac Brea.

Nod. Nod. Nod. Nod. Nod. Wait. What was he agreeing to again? Fuck. Hazel. Break-up. Words. Upset. Yeah, yeah, that was it.

It was weird how they were getting all, like, deep and shit about this right now, but man, Jae was a bro. Total bro. He had a bro. Could he have another bro? Did they have to adopt now? Would that be weird?

What the fuck was he talking about?

Hazel. Hazel. Yeah. Yeah. She was sad. They could talk about that. "Uh-uh, she...y'know, it wash like...damn, it hurt, y'know? Like, I dunno, we jusht didn...have that much in common, other than the whole running...thing. And she got real weird about, y'know, her parentsh, and it's like, I knowsh I'm a dick and not good enough and shit, but tell me to my face, y'know? Don't fuck around about it. Like yoooooou!" Yeeeeaah, give the guy a pat on the back for honesty. "You knowsh I'm an ass and you say and it's like, yeah, I reshpect the FUCK outta that, y'know?"

That wash a thing they talked about, yeah? Yeah.

Things were getting muddled. Yeah, muddled was a good word. All weird and mixed-up and... muddle-y. Jae pretty much hated Isaac, right? Right. He'd gone into this all prepared, all sharp and clear in his head with a plan, and then Isaac went and opened his stupid fucking mouth like he always did and he muddled things up. And see, like, Jae hated mess, okay? He hated dirty things and disorganized things and unclear things. He knew what he was about.

Until he didn't.

They were still way too close and Isaac was patting him on the back. Was patting him on the back. It seemed like he'd kinda forgotten that was what he was doing a minute ago and had left his hand there, rubbing small circles between Jae's shoulder blades. What's the protocol for that, when somebody transitions from thumping you on the back for calling them an asshole to, like... this?

"Yeah, you are an ass. You're a fuckin'... dunno. Fuck you." But the words weren't as venomous as he wanted them to be, and it was too warm in here to concentrate. On some level, Jae was aware that the sounds of the party were moving away from them as people drifted outside or upstairs to smoke or fall asleep or feel each other up or whatever. That left just him and Isaac in their corner of the room with their muddle.

Yeah, it was definitely too warm in here. Jae let go of Isaac's sleeve and shifted away from him to shrug his jacket off and lay it over the back of the couch. He was very aware of the space between his shoulder blades where Isaac's hand had been lingering.

...He'd had too much to drink. Somebody ought to open a window in here.

Aaaaahahahahahaha, Jae was the coolesht. This guy, right? Just...yeah, man. Yeah. Yeah. Things were preeetty great right now. No way to keep from laughing after a joke like that. What a guy. What a pal. What a...oh hello.

Jae was all like, shaking out of his jacket and stuff. Had he heard that last part right? He thought they were just being bros or whatever, but thingsh were getting...weird. Good weird? Bad weird? Weird weird? Fuuuuck, he didnkno. They had been kind of, y'know, handsy and junk? Hanging on to each other and whatever. But that was cool. It was cool, right? Was Jae, uh, fuck, shit, like...coming on to him? Or was he imagining it?

Nah, why would he imagine that?

It's not, like, he wanted Jae to come onto him or anything like that. He wasn't cute. Guys weren't cute. Not to him. Y'know, just, nothing but girls for this dude, y'know? Yeah. But like, if he was, that was...that was cool, or whatever, right? When you thought about it, kinda flattering, even? Yeah. Yeah. Definitely didn't need to think about that anymore. Baaaaack on track now.

He was staring. Fuck. It was the shimmy. Who shimmied? Fucking Jae, that's who. Stupid sexy Jae.

Fuck did he think that out loud?

Fuck.

Did...

Did Isaac just...?

Okay, no, nuh-uh. He was imagining things. They didn't... things like this, they didn't happen to him. He didn't want them to happen. He knew what he wanted, and Isaac Brea did not factor into that in any way, shape, or form, except for Jae putting Isaac in his place once and for all. Then he could fuck off to who knew where for the rest of their lives.

All of this had gone on way too long. Jae wasn't enjoying the party anymore. He wanted to go home, or at least outside so he could get away from Isaac and get some fresh air. Too warm, too confusing, too hard to concentrate. Too easy to think about things he did his best to write off day to day. Things like this were for other people, not him.

It was just, like... he...

He needed Isaac to shut up. Right. Tell him that. Sort this out and then go home and never talk to Isaac ever again. He didn't need this.

"What'd you just say?" He could feel Isaac's eyes on him even before he turned around and wow, those last couple drinks were not sitting well now. In some sense, Jae was very aware that this train was about to go off the rails, one way or another.

Hey. He's into you. You should kiss him.

Wuzzat?

Shh. Talking over. Make-outs. That's the new plan.

Whozat?

Isaac. This is your sense of Great Life Decisions speaking. Trust me. This is gonna change your life.

...

...

Hokay!

The pepto voice in his head sheemed to reeeeaally have a better handle on thish whole thing that he did, sho might as well listen to it? Yeah. Yeah. That was a good plan. A great plan. A fuckin' A+++++++ plan.

Maybe he should explain the plan to Jae. Mmmhmm. He'll get it. Jae gets everything. Let's jusht turn and get back in there pershonal like so we can whoops oh goodbye balance leaving sho shoon okay Jae will catch us shit he'sh got nice lipsh let'sh just do the thing here we go

Niiiice.

"The fuck are you do-"



Holy



fucking



shit.



This was, what was, what-

"Shh, shh, hee hee..."

-what the fuck?

Nothing to grab except the back of Isaac's shirt because Isaac just about fell on him, giggling, wouldn't fucking shut up, cheap champagne bubbles in his head, couldn't think-

"Shut-"

-too warm, too hot, shouldn't be doing this, train off the rails, music from somewhere outside, stomach twisting, Isaac still talking-

"-up!"




Shut up, shut up, shut up.

Hate you.

Please don't stop.

Sorry, kids, Isaac can't come to the consciousness right now. He's kind of busy.

Mmph.

Sure thing, champ. Just do you. Well, and him, that's the point of this whole thing!

Let me give you the play by play: when two people hate each other very, very much in a very special way, magic happens. That magic is currently taking the form of Jae and Isaac here using alcohol and blind misunderstanding to form the most wonderful of connections. In case you're not sure which connection that is, it's the one involving tongues.

Write that down. No, really. I'll wait. There'll be a quiz later and I want you to do well. Your success is important to me, you beautiful blueberry muffin of a person, you.

Now, Isaac isn't going to admit that this happened, and most of the witnesses are probably as wasted as he and Jae are at this point, so in a way it's like it never really happened. But it did. He's going to remember it did, I'll make real sure of that. Jae will too, probably.

Mmph!

Shh, honey, the grown-ups are talking.

It's funny. Jae finally figured out how to get Isaac to shut up. Their project probably would have gone a lot smoother if they'd done this in the first place. They've always got to do things the hard way, though. Speaking of which, creative hand placement, Jae! That's extra credit, definitely.

This is gonna end really well for everyone involved. Let's let them get back to it.

Isaac's head was swimming and clear and confused and focused and excited and horrified and so many fucking things at once he couldn't process he couldn't think he couldn't stop can't stop won't stop not ever breathe breathe BREATHE

He could still taste him, in the brief moments they were apart. That brought them right back together.

what is this, what's happening, what, what, what-

oh okay turned out Isaac was a hair-puller hey that kind of hurts-

too hot, too hot, won't somebody open a goddamn window-

what, how did this, what, Hazel-


"Hazel."




Barely aware that he said it, if he did say it, confusion and something like guilt curling up in the pit of his stomach, or maybe that's just nausea-





Isaac pulled him back in and Jae didn't resist.

Breath. Breath. In and out, over and over. Everything was ooookay. This was great.

What were they doing again?

Right. Making out. Middle of a party. Just two bros making out. That's cool.

Cool.

Ohgoditsuperfuckingwasntwhathadhedone

He stopped and stared at Jae for a moment as they caught their breath for the second time. He wasn't looking so good.

"Oooooh fuhk, dude..."

This was the wrong time for clarity to come knocking. Booze, they needed booze, oh fuck they needed booze.