Survival Of The Fittest

Jordan Brankovich had been watching the entire scene outside the bathroom from afar, but was too anxious to offer any help, for more reasons than others.

This party wasn't her thing, but she was here anyway. She'd much rather have been at home, playing some League of Legends and going off on somebody on voicechat for their microaggressive nature. But she hadn't been out in a while, not to any of her groups and certainly not to a party. So she knew this was apparently the "big party" everyone was talking about and even though she'd never even met the host, she came anyway.

She'd watch stuff happen. People were drinking, people were dancing to music she hated, people were fighting. She'd recognized some of them, but something prevented her from approaching them. A weird feeling in her gut she got nearly all the time when in a huge social setting like this, something she never got at school or home. It was weird. So now she was just hanging around, watching stuff happened. Maybe someone would come talk to her, she wouldn't mind. Maybe it'd be someone she knew, maybe not, just anyway. As long as she didn't have to do the work.

The worst thing, though, was that Demetri was part of the group of people doing their thing with the bathroom door. Demetri Fischer, a boy she shouldn't like on principle but did for reasons she couldn't quite explain. It was weird just how much his very existence clashed with her principles but she trusted her body, and it didn't lie. The only reason she didn't trust her body right now, preventing her from going over and helping, was because she knew it wasn't normal. Feelings of like and the like were things everyone had, right? It didn't make her a freak to have a crush.

It did kind of make her a freak not to feel comfortable at this party to talk to her own friends though. Now she was just standing in a wide hallway, red cup with a sweet soda in her hand, hoping someone could actually talk to her. Take her somewhere, do something with her, just get her out of this anxious rut.

"This party fucking sucks!"

((Emmett Bunnell continued from In Vino Veritas))

Emmett was grumbling to himself as he was stomping across the hallway and he really wanted to find Adonis. He didn't even know where the fuck his boyfriend was anymore. Probably making out with that pretty boy, Declyn. He felt a tingle of jealousy seeping through him and he hated that it was so easy for him to feel insecure. He needed to chill out. Maybe just standing in the hallway for a few minutes would help with that. Also the aftermath with Marco was just making him feel down in general.

Parties were definitely the fucking worst for him.

Never again was he going to do something that Adonis wanted him to do for 'fun'. He was going to hide up in his room and just do whatever he wanted from now on. He knew that he was being selfish thinking about it that way. But why bother hanging out with people when they were just going to piss him off? Relationships with people were always going to be broken because he always got too close to them and then he opened up about personal things and then he got it shoved back in his face. It wasn't just Marco who broke his trust. No, he didn't want to think about it. He hadn't thought about it in a long time. So why start now.

Fuck my life. I am so fucking tired of this shitty world.

He let out an exhausted sigh and he leaned back against a wall, not caring if anyone was seeing him sulking. He just wanted to be left alone for a few minutes. Was that too much too ask?

"And why, exactly, might that be the case?"

[ Julien Leblanc continued from Peace ]

He was feeling quite good about himself. Hair still down and soft smile a permanent fixture on his face now, Julien felt that he'd gotten what he wanted out of this party with interest. Of course, it inevitably wouldn't be the same way for everyone; it seemed he had found someone who was having that very problem at the moment.

Not someone he could say he knew all that well, but it didn't matter the way he saw it. So he propped himself up against a wall, as much for somewhere to rest as anything else, and waited for a response.

A sullen silence, mean comment or something else, I wonder? Well, only one way to find out.

It also, going by how his shirt didn't feel like it fit right on him, helped hide that it was inside-out. He'd have to remember to find a moment alone to correct that soon.

Seems like it was really too much for Emmett to ask for.

Damn, I thought that I wouldn't have to have someone actually talking to me about this shit. Why the hell is Julien even talking to me?

His eyes wondered over to Julien's figure, seeing him in full view. Emmett realized that Julien was somewhat giving off a happy vibe and it was making Emmett feel colder on the inside. Not that he had a right to be mad at the guy in front of him. Emmett had a feeling that Julien had been having a wonderful time and it was really bothering him that he couldn't be like that. Why did he had to be a grumpy asshole all the time? Maybe it was just in his nature and that was just the way he knew how to be.

He just did one thing to Julien. He just glared at him in a 'Why do you even care?' way and he grumbled under his breath softly, averting his gaze elsewhere. He really did not want to talk to Julien and he hoped that the guy would kindly fuck off.

Don't take it out on him, Emmett. Just because I wanted to lash out at Marco....

He wasn't fazed by the glare, regarding him impassively as he sought to crawl into the shell he was trying to make himself.

"I can hardly read minds, but then again it's not exactly like I need to in this case."

Emmett wanted him to leave him alone alright. But Julien wasn't in the habit of being so convenient for other people if he didn't want to be, and this was one of those times it'd actually do him some good. "As much as you may want to try and ignore your problems away," he said, straightening up a little and making very well sure that he'd hear him, "I can tell you it really doesn't work like you want it to."

Having made them as he had, he was at least able to recognise someone else going through those same motions. Faith didn't deserve his scorn for that; even under her failings, he'd seen the heart there, the desire to try and do good by people. It was himself that he needed to take a good long look at.

"Whatever it is that's left you in that shining mood of yours, shoving it into a dark corner somewhere will just let it get worse and worse. So just," a moment's pause for thought, "look at it, make your peace however you need to and then break away. Don't, ah... Well, don't make a fucking stupid mistake."

Julien pushed up and away from the wall he was resting on. He didn't figure that his continued presence would do anything more for his point. So he left it at that and headed off. Though he did make one more parting remark.

"Seriously, think about it."

And first things first, now he was out of there: putting his fucking shirt on properly.

[ Julien Leblanc continued elsewhere. ]

Jordan wanted to look pre-occupied with her fascinating soda drink forever, but there was a conversation of sorts going on near her so she couldn't help but eavesdrop.

Some guy was grumbling about how shit the party was, and a random guy was trying to give him a pep talk. The grumbling guy seemed to be in a really bad mood, and as someone who'd been in very bad moods herself Jordan empathized a bit, and as someone who had also tried to step up and make her friends feel better, she also empathized with the guy giving the grumbly guy the pep talk. Of course, all these pseudonyms would have been absent if she'd known either of their names, but she didn't, so they were now Grumbly and Pep Talk.

Grumbly didn't seem to like the advice. Pep Talk didn't seem to notice, which was rude of him. But Pep Talk kept on talking anyway. Eventually, he left, and Jordan wondered if he knew that his shirt was on the wrong way. Or, it could very easily have been a cool design she didn't know about, Jordan didn't want to be quick to judge, it wasn't in her nature.

As she watched Pep Talk walk off, she noticed as she moved her head slightly that she'd accidentally caught Grumbly's eyes. Very quickly, she turned away, looking back down at her fascinating drink. She must have been doing an excellent job staying incognito and inconspicuous if Jordan did say so herself.

WHAT.THE.FUCK.WAS.THAT?!

Emmett couldn't believe that Julien had just done that and then walked away like he was a God. Well, he did kind of look like a God with his hair down and his shirt inside-out. Emmett was wondering who Julien got lucky with and then he was wondering why he even cared. It wasn't like Emmett was gonna suck the guy's- Okay. Yeah, he was not going to go there. Julien was not his type and he has a boyfriend.

He then noticed a girl looking at him and he glared as if he was caught in the act of having inappropriate thoughts about Julien. Well, he did for a while and he knew that he needed to get it out of his head. Ugh! He was gonna blame it on the shots that he did earlier.

"Hey...." He was trying to sound casual as fuck and failing so badly. "What's up, girl?"

((Abel Zelenovic continued from Dare You Enter My Magical Realm? [redux]))

Abel grumbled to himself as he stomped down the hallway in his stupor, his hand dangling and choking the towel in a death grip. If he could stumble on a dark corner of the party to just shrivel up and die in, that'd be just swell. But first he needed another refill and to just get away from the truth or dare jerks.

He passed by Jordan and Emmett. He stopped and looked at Jordan, stared at her right in the eyes (all four of them). He opened his mouth to speak, to say "Hi.", to say something. But he didn't. He just scoffed, shook his head, and kept marching down to the stairs.

She'd understand. But if she didn't, Abel didn't particularly care.

((Abel Zelenovic continued in Dragon's Lair))

Well that was weird.

Just as Jordan was about to reintroduce herself to the liquid in her cup and pretend the angry guy wasn't speaking to her, Abel appeared. Only he seemed a bit out of sorts, like something was wrong. There was a towel wrapped around his hands, and nothing good ever came of a towel being wrapped around hands. You weren't protecting them from the cold, you were stopping something from leaving the hands like blood or muscle or tissue or nails or any number of morbid things Jordan hated thinking about.

He stared at her, right in the eyes, and looked like he was about to say something, and Jordan would have been all for that, because it meant she would have been occupied right as the angry boy wanted to talk to her. But instead, he let out a weird noise and went on his way. Jordan mentally pleaded for him to stay, but a few moments later he was out of sight.

Thanks, Abel.

So Jordan turned to the other boy and smiled.

"Nothing much. That was my friend. He's nice."

The words came out quicker than Jordan could sort them, and now she felt weird.

"Was he your friend? I mean, the one before, not...well I guess he could be your friend..."

Trailing off was the best option here, so Jordan did so. Were it not for the inherent rudeness of not looking someone in the eyes as you held a conversation with them she would have gone right back to her drink.

Emmett still felt like he was in a sour mood. Fan-fucking-tastic! The girl was talking about Abel who seemed to have not greet her at all and then stomped off for whatever reason. Huh. Well, it looked like Emmett was not the only one having a shitty night. Maybe there were a lot of others having a crappy night in different parts of the house and he was acting like he was the only one who deserved to be self-pitying. Shit, he really was a selfish ass.

"Abel's your friend, huh? I guess he is.... nice. I mean, shit. I don't really talk to him. I barely know the guy but if you say he's cool.... Then he's cool." Emmett was trying to have a chill conversation with this girl and he felt his anger sinking away, feeling his expression soften a little. He was letting his guard down and in that moment he didn't really give a fuck if he was not. He just need someone to talk to. He felt lonely without Adonis there with him. "That guy before. Julien is not my friend at all. I don't even know why he fucking bothered with me."

He paused for a moment and he scratched at his hand in an irritated motion. He didn't really want to think about what Julien said to him. Sadly, it was in Emmett's nature to make a lot of mistakes in his life. Emmett couldn't fucking change that. Trouble was just everywhere for him and he couldn't stop provoking and poking at it. Even if it did bite him in the ass. He knew that he had a choice in changing that but....

"I'm not having a great night." He admitted quietly and his eyes went from focusing onto Jordan and onto his hand scratching his other one. "Name's Emmett by the way. You?"

Jordan wasn't entirely sure what Emmett's thing was, but he was rambling a bit about the night and the people who'd passed by. Having an opinion for the sake of having an opinion and all, a bit nosy all things considered. Then again, when he got to the end, he summed the entire thing up by mentioning he hadn't had a good night. That was probably bound to happen at a party this big, just as it was bound to happen that a school would probably get abducted somewhere in the world for that Survival of the Fittest thing next year, statistics were just how they were.

"Oh. I'm sorry."

Jordan didn't exactly fill him with contagious confidence, so she swished the liquid in her cup around before continuing to speak.

"Jordan. So, if you don't mind me asking-"

It was approaching a topic Jordan really didn't want to approach, namely because it was slightly mortifying to her - prying into his life and asking about his circumstances. Not everyone had the privilege to just attend and leave things as they wished, so Jordan could have avoided it, but it was all she could think of to ask.

"Do you want to leave? If you want to leave, I could probably ask one of my friends and see if they could get you a lift home. I can't drive, but I have friends who can, and they have friends, so...yeah."

Swish, swish, swish. The liquid was going slightly whirlpool as Jordan distracted herself.

Jordan. Okay, so now Emmett had a name to her face and he was going to make sure that he was going to remember it. He didn't know why he wanted to. He honestly felt like he didn't have a right to even talk to her but he needed someone. Anyone to listen to him without it turning into a fight. Because fights were all that he could use to cope with how much he hated how he was. He wondered how long it would be before he would shatter into shards of glass and how long it would take to fix all the pieces again.

"I would love to leave this place...." Emmett commented quietly and then he felt guilty for using Jordan as a coping mechanism. This girl didn't deserve to bare with his stupid, sob story. He didn't want to come off as a burden and he knew that he had to stop being such a negative individual. "However, I can't just up and leave right now. My boyfriend is around here somewhere. I would like to leave with him since he was the one who brought me here to have fun."

It's too bad that I'm having a crappy time without you, Adonis.

He then looked at Jordan with more or less exhaustion being present in his eyes. "Sorry, I shouldn't be uh.... in such a lousy mood, right?" He asked, feeling that Jordan might drop his ass at any moment. "Parties are supposed to be fun and I just suck at being fun. Yeah, I'm definitely not a party person at heart and I really don't like having so many people around. What about you? Are you having a good night, Jordan?"

"Oh wow."

Jordan didn't think it was possible for someone to be more out of place at a party than she felt at all times, but here Emmett stood. Part of her wanted to console him, but she would never forgive herself if she was unintentionally condescending to someone when they didn't want it.

"Well, I'm feeling alright. I was invited here, but...can't really seem to find any of my friends, so I'm just watching people, I guess."

Maybe if she asked about himself again, he would keep talking and she wouldn't have to fill the conversation.

"Do you want me to help you find your boyfriend so you can leave?"

And then, something stupid came over Jordan, and the toe on the line fell into a place where it didn't belong.

"I mean, if you really didn't want to come here and he knew you didn't like parties, it seems like a really crappy thing for him to do, to make you come here. My friends don't make me go places I'm not comfortable, even the ones I've only known for this year, so maybe he doesn't really-"

Jordan's eyes bulged out of her head when she realized what exactly she'd been saying. She looked down at her drink, ready to throw some of the blame of it all on what she'd been drinking, when she remembered to her horror that there was nothing but soda in the cup.

"I-I-uh-I'm gonna-"

And not wanting to be at the scene any longer, Jordan briskly walked away without even saying farewell or apologizing, because Jordan had distinctly remembered why she didn't like spending time alone at parties.

((Jordan Brankovich continued in Meanwhile))

"What? Wait, you don't-"

Jordan had walked away from him.

"-have to leave...."

Emmett let out a sigh, wondering why he always managed to drive people away from himself. God, he fucking hated it. He fucking hated being this bitter, miserable person who couldn't even be who he wanted to be with someone else. He knew that he couldn't change himself. Even his Mom was disappointed in him for not being- No, no. He couldn't go there. Not ever. He didn't want to drag those thoughts back.

"Shit. I should find Adonis. I want to go home." He said to himself as he headed towards the stairs and his phone vibrated in his pocket, making him get it out and he stared down at the message that Adonis sent him in disbelief and anger. "Is he fucking kidding me right now?! For fuck's sake...!"

Adonis was seriously taking Declyn home and not him...? Him who only came to this stupid party because Adonis wanted him there. Did he do something wrong to be treated like this? Fuck, maybe he had. He honestly didn't know anymore.

Still pretty boy Declyn? Fuck my life....

He was suddenly feeling drained of energy. He was so fucking tired. So, so tired.

He made his own way back home by himself, trying to break like the shattered wings of a dead butterfly.

((Emmett Bunnell's Swiftball ended))