Survival Of The Fittest

Oh, hello there. I didn't hear ya come in. Sit down, stay a while. Oh, me? I'm just an average bartender, nothing exciting 'bout me.




'Cept, of course, I hang out with a buncha killers.



No no, not like that. These folks only kill people on the pages of a book. They're the creative sorts, writers.... oh, but enough about me. What's your poison, stranger? I'll whip it up, and you can tell me 'boutcherself. I've heard a thousand life stories from a thousand pairs'a shoes.

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Okay, so, what's this all about?

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What with the... *gestures around him* EVERYTHING going on lately, I've had a lot of time to uh, get drunk. But get drunk in a CLASSY way, and I've really gotten into mixology. After making some classic drinks and getting a feel for the flavors, I'm trying to branch out and make my own cocktails. Tonight, I made a cocktail based on one of our handlers, Mimi. She'll be the first recipe I include in my book. So the deal is... this is like an art comission thread. Basically, you can come in and request a drink themed around yourself. I'll whip something up and name it after ya, and take a few notes on it. I might ask for a little bit of info, like what you want to drink.

Oh, you don't drink alcohol? I mean, that's not a problem either. I can whip up a mocktail just as well! Not too hard to play with some ginger ale and grenadine.
Well, without any further ado...


Queue:
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3.
4.
5.

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The SotF Barbook
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The Sour Mimi

[+] How to make a Sour Mimi

1.75 oz tequila plata
.75 oz fresh-squeezed lemon juice.
.5 oz Midori
.5 oz cream of coconut

Shake ingredients with ice, double-strain into an ice-filled highball glass. Top the glass with lemon or grapefruit seltzer (approx. 3.5 oz).
Garnish with a lemon slice, and serve with a straw.

[+] Drink Notes

Light and refreshing. I'd definitely classify this as a summer drink, up there with a modified Tom Collins. Every sip is screaming lemon flavor, while the cream of coconut sweetens everything and the Midori adds a layer of complexity to the flavor (and nails that perfect chartreuse color). The tequila is there at the first sip, but you hardly notice it by the end. The seltzer added to the drink thins out the drink's intensity but in turn makes it highly refreshing; I can see myself downing a few of these things in quick succession with no problem, which is just a bit dangerous. Would recommend for a barbecue or picnic.

Side note, but when you pour seltzer into the drink, a foam might form. It doesn't affect the drink's taste but if you want to improve the presentation, scoop the foam off with a barspoon and discard before adding the garnish and straw.

The Mikey Freeze

[+] How to Make

1 oz vodka
1 oz apple liqueur, such as DeKuyper Apple Pucker
.25 oz Midori/melon liqueur
.25 oz green creme de menthe
.25 oz lime juice
.25 oz simple syrup
1 cup ice (about 4-5 large ice cubes)

Blend together ingredients and serve in a sugar-rimmed cocktail glass. Pray.

[+] Drink Notes

My first frozen drink. The flavors hold up surprisingly well against the blended ice, which runs the risk of dilution, but no... there's no avoiding the taste of the Mikey Freeze.
You can taste everything in the drink, except the vodka. The apple is the strongest flavor, followed by the mint that chases. These two flavors play surprisingly well. The Midori is there but more of a backing note.
If you're going to skimp on any pour, it should be the creme de menthe. You do not want to overpour that here.
You can probably go heavier on the Midori and not harm the drink.
Your teeth will rot just by looking at this thing.

YonaSoda Punch

[+] How to Make

2 oz pineapple juice (or pineapple soda)
1.5 oz orange juice (approx. 1 orange worth of juice)
1 oz cream of coconut
7.5 oz ginger ale
barspoon of grenadine

In an ice-filled copper mug, combine fruit juices and cream of coconut; stir vigorously.
Gradually add ginger ale, stirring gently. Swirl with a barspoon of grenadine at the top, then serve.

[+] Drink Notes

Absolutely delicious. I'd say this is easy to drink but... it's a mocktail, so it better be! Orange-pineapple is a flavor combination that you pretty much can never go wrong with; the coconut adds sweetness (as if this drink needed any more, it's basically all sugar) and gives it a tropical zing. The ginger ale here is mostly filler and you could probably use sprite if you wanted, anything with nice neutral sweetness to it. It gives the drink substance and fills up the mug. The barspoon of grenadine is just for kicks but it makes the drink fancier. You totally don't NEED it but it's the quintessential mocktail ingredient, so why not let it have a little cameo?

To make this drink into a proper cocktail, spare 1.5 oz of the ginger ale and use vodka instead, mixing it vigorously with the first set of ingredients.
That kinda makes this a tropic-skewed member of the mule family I guess - you even have the mug for it.

The Muntineau (or the Cuba Lobo)

[+] How to Make

2 oz dark Caribbean rum (I use Plantation 5 star)
1 oz triple sec or Cointreau
4.5 oz cola
1 lemon

Line the inside of an old fashioned glass with a thin layer of lemon juice and add two ice cubes. In a mixing glass full of ice, stir rum and triple sec. Add cola, gently stir until combined. Strain into glass, garnish with a lemon twist.

[+] Drink Notes

This is a simple but delicious variation on a Cuba Libre. The choice of rum is very important; Cuban rum would be the most fitting, but that pesky embargo makes getting a hold of it impossible. I instead use Barbados rum, specifically Plantation 5-year. The cola gives this drink all the sweetness it neads and backs up the flavor of the rum while the triple sec adds some (honestly barely noticeable) citrus. Honestly though, the rum is the star of this drink. It is the flavor that comes to the forefront without being too alcohol-y, if that makes any sense. You're basically taking the flavor of rum, but cutting out the ethanol with the other ingredients and leaving that Caribbean flavor.

So yeah, definitely a simple drink, a variation on a tried and true classic, but a damn good one.

The Chilly Jilly

[+] How to Make

2 oz blended whiskey
1 oz Godiva
.5 oz creme de cacao
1.5 oz milk or cream
Dash of angostura bitters

Shake ingredients with ice and pour into an old fashioned glass. Garnish with a sprinkle of cinnamon. Drink quickly or allow drink to separate over ~3 minutes according to preference

[+] Drink Notes

It took a couple tries to get right as whiskey isn't something super easy to work with for cocktails; whiskey runs counter to many mixers as it has a distinct taste rather than a neutral one. What does work, however, works REALLY well and chocolate is a sure winner. This is a variation on a whiskey milk punch, enriched with Godiva and then spiked with some of angostura's smokiness. My first attempt was garnished with nutmeg - cinnamon does the job better. This falls heavily into the realm of a dessert drink and is extremely easy to consume as it's diluted with dairy in addition to the ice. If you're lactose intolerant, soymilk does the job just fine (I used it for this recipe).
The Chilly Jilly would be right at home as part of a holiday dinner party, just as a side note.

The Methodical Sour

[+] How to Drink

2 oz whiskey
1 oz pineapple juice
.5 oz lime juice
.25 oz simple syrup
Egg white

Combine ingredients in a shaker and dry shake (shake without ice). Add ice, then shake again. Strain into sour glass, garnish with a maraschino cherry (preferably on a long toothpick so it's visible; I don't have any)

[+] Drink Notes

This drink is a lot drier than the ingredients make it out to be. I'm not too big on eggwhites in drinks in general but the sours are a family of drinks that clasically have them, offering this a creamy taste and texture. I may consider making a second version of this one in the future incorporating more citrus juice. I also want long bar toothpicks to improve the presentation. The cherry goes right to the bottom.

Skraal's Crawl

[+] How to Make

1.5 oz dark rum
1.5 oz London dry gin
1 oz peach snapps
2 barspoons Campari
1 oz simple syrup
3 dashes Peychaud's bitters
Ginger Ale (optional)

Combine all ingredients except the ginger ale in a mixing glass with ice, stir until chilled

Strain into pint glass with ice or martini glass without. If you choose the pint glass, top with the ginger ale; about 3.5 oz should do it.
Garnish with a peach slice, if you have one.

[+] Drink Notes

Forgive me, Father Toki, I have sinned.

It's typically considered a faux pas of mixology and bartending to combine rum and gin, but certain drinks like the long island ice tea forego that rule in the name of creativity. Here, I eschew it to create... a monstrosity. And yet, this drink isn't anywhere near as foul-tasting as I predicted it would be in its creation. I didn't have a lot to go off of in terms of direction so I wanted to creat a drink that'd fuck you up and, as a split base, this will CERTAINLY fuck you up, particularlly as it's got 3 oz of 80 proof, and another 1 oz and then some of cordials/aperetifs. It's a potent cocktail to say the least, approaching the potency of a long island with something of a tempered fruitiness to it. I feel like I overcomplicated this drink though; you probably don't need the ginger ale, or campari or simple. I might be able to do this with just the first three ingredients, plus a bit of peychaud's to liven things up...

Sun y Delight

[+] How to Make

.5 oz white rum
.5 oz tequila plata
.5 oz vodka
.75 oz blue curacao
1 oz pineapple juice
.5 oz lemon juice
.5 oz simple syrup

Mix ingredients in a shaker with ice; shake then strain into a martini glass. Float lemonade on top to fill glass, then garnish with a lemon wedge.

[+] Drink Notes

I made my own lemonade here, but store-bought is fine. You don't need to carefully measure it out if you make it yourself, just eyeball a proper amount of lemon juice, water and sugar/syrup until it's your desired sweet/sour. Floating the lemonade didn't have the desired effect since it mostly sunk to the bottom and it didn't separate cleanly which would have been nice. You could probably add it first then add the other inredients on top of it? Also, this drink could be perfectly fine just using rum, but I wanted to use ALL the drinks that Dee suggested so. Here ya go!

The Slamartini

[+] How to Make

2 oz London dry gin
.5 oz maraschino liqueur
.5 oz peach liqueur
3 dashes orange bitters

Stir ingredients together over ice and strain in a martini glass. Garnish with a maraschino cherry and serve.

[+] Drink Notes

I am not a martini person, but I imagine if I enjoyed myself a martini, I would enjoy this drink. Naturally dry, martinis have this inherent astringentness to them that you either love or hate. It's not supposed to be buried under mixers; a martini highlights gin front and center, so you need a good gin to make this. I use Tanqueray which seems to be a favorite for bartenders and it's an import, and I haven't seen much said about it so if you want to make this, I'll suggest Tanqueray. Any ol' peach schnappes will do I imagine, but I used Luxardo cherry for the maraschino liqueur. And of course, this is another excuse to try out one of my homemade cherries as a garnish. When you remove it from the jar (assuming you're using a good cherry), don't get the juice get away from it. Use it to stain the drink and spike it with some extra flavor to please your tastebuds. If you're using shit cherries... first of all, don't, but if you absolutely must, you could add a 1/4 barspoon or a few droplets of grenadine to achieve the same effect and not ruin the entire drink. Anyway, enjoy and feel classy.

Ohm sweet Ohm

[+] How to Make

1 oz vodka
.5 oz blue curacao
.25 oz creme de menthe (green or white)

1 oz pineapple juice
.5 oz lime juice
.5 oz cream of coconut

Shake the fruit juices and cream of coconut together over ice; pour into a chilled cocktail glass. In the same shaker, shake the vodka, blue curacao and creme de menthe together, float over the other ingredients and serve.

[+] Drink Notes

Ideally this would be a frozen drink to fit the conceptual idea I had for it, which was to invoke the idea of the cold north. You can see that in the coloration and in the flavors; the creme the menthe specifically is there to give you a blast of menthol. I could just as easily do away with it and substitute a minute amount of peppermint extract to achieve this effect but if you've got the booze, use it.

You'll notice this drink is shaken twice. The shaker is not washed between uses - it's all going into the same drink anyhow. Normally I do my shaking with one whole cube and one cracked to achieve a good balance of mixing and dilution/chilling, but here I went for two whole cubes. This is because I want to use the same ice for both shakes so I'm only going through two cubes instead of 4 or 5. Don't have a lot of freezer space. Of course, you'd bypass this all entirely with the frozen method, but then you do have to blend the two components of the drink separately and even then, the top part might not mix so well. Unclear.

Flavorwise I thought it was a good balance. Since this is a layered drink, the first sip is like a blast of cold air. As you go on, the drink gets sweeter. You can probably up the coconut but I'd leave the pineapple and lime alone, they are quite strong enough to create a tart bite with the sweetness. The drink goes down extremely quickly as it has a relatively low proof, so you could more than likely drink a few before you realize what's happened.

The Train Car

[+] How to Make

1.5 oz brandy (or whiskey)
.75 oz triple sec
.75 oz lemon juice
1 oz pomegranate juice
.5 oz simple syrup

Rub a lemon slice around the rim of a cocktail glass then rim with sugar. Shake liquid ingredients over ice, strain into prepared glass. Garnish with a lemon twist.

[+] Drink Notes

This started out conceptualized as a cousin of the sidecar, hence the name. If you use brandy it's sidecar adjacent, if you use whiskey it's basically a whiskey sour instead. But yeah, not much to say about this other than it's a classically-inspired cocktail with the sweetness turned up. I started with a sidecar recipe and added the pomegranate, plus some simple to really bring the whole thing together. It might be a little bit too sour so if that's the case, up the simple to .75 or 1 oz. Don't forget to express those lemon oils from the twist before you drop it in!

Toxie's Toxic Sludge

[+] How to Make

1 packet unflavored gelatin
2.5 oz hot water
1 oz lime juice
2 oz apple pucker
1.25 oz Midori

Stir hot water into gelatin until completely dissolved. Stir in remaining ingredients and pour into a shallow pan. Chill until set, then cut into cubes and serve.

[+] Drink

This probably gets a lot easier if you have lime flavored gelatin. I did not, so I incorporated lime juice; if you're using lime gelatin, just get rid of the juice entirely and use 3.5 oz of hot water. For best results, use filtered or purified water. You can make this into proper shots but I like the cubes for aesthetic reasons, it completes the 'toxic sludge' look while being easy to serve. If you share this with one other person you probably won't even feel a buzz, but damn are they fun to eat!

Pancapple Pie

[+] How to Make

1 oz cinnamon syrup
4 oz hot water
1 oz whiskey
1 oz apple pucker
(optional) .5 oz vanilla vodka
1 tsp butter

In a heat resistant mug (ideally an irish coffee mug if you have one), combine liquid ingredients and stir. Float the butter on top, and garnish with a cinnamon stick if preferred. If you don't use the vodka, you may add 1/2 barspoon (1/8th teaspoon) vanilla extract.

[+] Drink Notes

Do you like apple pie or hot apple cider? Then you will like this drink. If you DON'T like either of those things, then you really need not consider this one, because that's exactly what it tastes like.

This is my first hot drink recipe, and it's also somewhat less obviously the first one to use a syrup other than simple. You can buy flavored syrups at most drink stores (usually Torani brand) but cinnamon syrup is really easy to make. Just make a 50/50 syrup like normal, 1:1 ratio, then for every 2 cups of hot syrup, add a tablespoon of cinnamon. I made a small batch for this drink and others like it, 2/3rds cup syrup with one teaspoon cinnamon. This syrup will darken any drink you add to it so be aware of that, but the buttery brown look it gives is perfect for a drink based around warm apple pie. I'm going to be making this one seasonally. It is... way too good for an apple lover such as myself.

Court's Jester

[+] How to Make

First layer:
1 oz cream of coconut
1 oz blue curacao
.5 oz sweet vermouth
Second layer:
1.5 oz pineapple juice
1 oz tequila plata
Finish:
.5 oz grenadine

Shake ingredients of first layer over ice and pour into chilled cocktail glass. Without rinsing shaker (add ice if needed), shake ingredients of second layer and float on top of the first. Float the grenadine on top (it will sink to the bottom). Garnish as desired

[+] Drink Notes

I don't want to rag on my own drink or anything, but I do have to be honest: This is a busy and overcomplicated drink, made to be showy more than it is to focus on taste. It DOES still taste good, I made sure of that, but it's VERY sweet. Not a lot of sour to be found, so if I really wanted to break this out for a bar's regular 'menu' of sorts I would heavily re-tool it and probably do away with a good deal of ingredients. Not sure why I put sweet vermouth in this, I think I've decided I really don't like sweet vermouth but damn it, I gotta do SOMETHING with it. It's buried by the coconut and curacao and doesn't contribute a whole lot that I could taste. Again, this isn't a bad drink, it's just not nearly as multi-flavored as you think it'd be from its layered and colorful appearance. But if you like something surprisingly low-proof with lots of sweetness to it, this is your drink.

The King of Gos-Sip

[+] How to Make

1 oz vokda
1 oz apple pucker
1 oz butterscotch schnapps
.25 oz cinnamon syrup

Shake ingredients over ice and strain into a martini glass. Garnish with an apple slice and serve.

[+] Drink Notes

This drink took me a couple tries to get right but it was worth it in the end, for sure. I'm always a sucker for apples and the idea of making this a caramel apple shot certainly appealed (APPLED) to me. You could pretty this up by doing away with the cinnamon syrup, I suppose, which will result in a strong green color (think appletini), and you could probably make a caramel base using brown sugar for the bottom. Vodka is the appropriate liquor here since it's really just adding ethanol to the drink. The flavor is already well balanced without the vodka, making it the ideal booze to strengthen it. Wish I had the apple garnish to make it come to life (and this would look really cool with green/gold layers as mentioned before) but for right now it's fine, it tastes damn good.

The Smol Floof

[+] How to Make

1 oz butterscotch schnapps
1 oz creme de cacao
.25 oz cinnamon syrup
1 oz dry London gin
2-3 dashes Peychaud's bitters
Milk or cream to top, approx 1.5 oz

In an ice-filled rocks glass, mix gin, syrup and liquers and stir to chill. Dash bitters and quickly stir again. Float milk/cream on top to build a layer on top, and serve.

[+] Drink Notes

Originally designed to be a bomb of some sorts, I decided this worked better with the milk floated on top of the other ingredients. This is a VERY sweet drink, continuing the pattern of letting me indulge in my sweet tooth lately. I think there's something magical about the cinnamon syrup, because just about any drink you put that into will be incredibly sweet. A little too sweet, in fact, which is why I use Peychaud's bitters to counteract that (I think Peychaud's works best here, better than Angostura or orange bitters, pretty much two of the most common types you'll see). Gin is an interesting liquor to use for this. You could probably get away with rum which would be more traditional here, but I used gin for the flavor challenge and to reflect Pip's Britishness. Honestly that's why I use gin a lot of the times, for thematic reason. I am nearly out of gin.

Morning Blizzard

[+] How to Make

1 oz pomegranate juice
.5 oz lemon juice
.5 oz lime juice
.5 oz simple syrup
4 oz ginger ale or sprite/other light soda

Pour ingredients in order into a mixing glass filled with ice (soda last) and gently stir. Strain into a wine glass, and garnish with a cherry and lime wedge

To make this drink a sunshine blizzard:
Substitute orange or pineapple juice for the pomegranate, remove the simple. After straining ingredients, float .5 oz grenadine on top, then garnish.

[+] Drink Notes

The lime flavor in this drink comes through surprisingly strongly (the garnish may have something to do with that). If you like a perky, sour morning drink (like fresh-squeezed OJ, much more tart than store bought), it's perfect as-is. If you want it sweeter, reduce the sours to .25 instead of .5 oz. You could also eliminate the lemon juice entirely if you wanted to shave an ingredient off your shopping list, but I highly recommend keeping the lime. I used ginger ale for this, but any light bubbly should do the trick. To make this mocktail a true cocktail, you can even substitue champagne!

The Condor Egg

[+] How to Make

1 egg*
4 oz milk (or soy milk)
25 grams chocolate protein powder**
.75 oz honey syrup

Crack a whole egg into a cocktail shaker. Add milk, protein powder, cap shaker and dry shake (no ice). Uncap shaker and add honey syrup, then shake over ice. Pour into old fashioned glass, garnish with a pinch of cocoa powder (sweetened or unsweetened, preference)

*Imbibe raw egg at your own risk
**My protein powder suggests to use 1 scoop, 25 grams, per 4 oz of liquid. For whatever powder you end up using, make sure it's an appropriate amount for 4 oz of liquid.

[+] Drink Notes

Honey syrup is just equal parts honey and water. Don't look for honey syrup at the store, you don't need it. Just get regular honey. If you mix 1 tbsp honey and 1 tbsp water, it should make enough honey syrup to be appropriate for this drink.

Get gainz.

Shiola'd fashioned

[+] How to Make

1.5 oz (50 ml) rye
.75 oz sweet vermouth
.5 oz maraschino liqueur
.25 oz triple sec or Cointreau
3 dashes angostura bitters

Combine ingredients in a mixing glass with ice and stir. Strain into an ice filled old fashioned glass. Rub a lemon twist around the rim, express into the drink and then drop it in. Garnish with a maraschino cherry and serve

[+] Drink Notes

Dare I say, better than a regular old fashioned. The Rye is almost entire responsible; I've been using Black Velvet blended whiskey for most of my whiskey drinking but rye adds this undeniably smoky flavor to the concoction that you're otherwise missing. The rest of the mix is pretty much sweet. I don't have a smoker at home or any real 'smoky' ingredients besides the rye. Sweet vermouth historically pairs well with the few cocktails involving rye that have survived to modern day so I thought I'd keep it. Maraschino and triple sec are to add a bouquet of varied sweetness, and then we finish off with the bitters and garnishes to bring us all the way around to an old fashioned, without any sugar or simple syrup! All our sweetness comes from liqueurs. Not every day I made a drink that's 100% just alcoholic ingredients.

Slow sipper, stiff drink for sure. But definitely delicious.

The Espional

[+] How to Make

1.5 oz vodka
.75 oz lime juice, freshly squeezed (juice of one lime)
.75 oz lemon juice freshly squeezed (1/2 lemon)
.5 oz simple syrup
.5 oz sweet vermouth
2-3 dashes orange bitters
Superfine sugar (optional)

If desired, rub lemon wedge around rim of cocktail glass then rim with sugar. Shake ingredients over ice and strain into a prepared glass or a clean cocktail glass. Rub lemon wedge around inner rim of glass (if you haven't already) then drop it in.
To make this cocktail a Dragonborn, reduce vodka to 1 oz and add .5 oz blue curacao before shaking. Garnish with a cherry in addition to the lemon.

[+] Drink notes

This drink is a twist on a lemon drop with inspiration given in part by Espi's D&D character. The version in the recipe is a little tart which is fine for this type of drink, but you may prefer something sweeter. If that's the case, you can easily toy around with the sweetness by increasing the amount of simple syrup you put into the drink (a dragonborn will naturally be a bit sweeter due to the curacao). The sugared rim would also help and I probably would have made the rim sugared by default, but... no sugar in the house right now. Weeeeeeee~

Resting Laurels

[+] How to Make

1 oz London dry gin
.5 oz creme de menthe (green)
1 oz creme de cacao
1 oz Godiva liqueur

Shake ingredients over ice and strain into a martini glass. Garnish with a whole andes mint, or crumble 1-2 mints over the drink (if you prefer a messier drink).

[+] Drink Notes

This drink isn't winning any beauty contests for its drab olive color (after which the name of the drink derives a pun from), but it's really hard to mess up a chocolate-mint flavor combination. This differs from a standard grasshopper cocktail thanks to the omission of heavy cream and the inclusion of gin, making this more of a choco-mint or grasshopper martini. The first sip is a bit harsh as you try to handle all the flavors but it finishes up nice and smooth. Good stuff.

The Frozen Smoke

[+] How to Make

1 oz Kentucky bourbon
.75 oz Gran Marnier
.5 oz Maraschino liqueur
.5 oz peach schnapps

Combine ingredients in mixing glass with ice and stir. Strain into rocks glass over large ice cube (or sphere in this case). Garnish with a maraschino cherry.

To enjoy, place cherry into mouth and then take first sip, swishing around with the cherry before swallowing. Savor rest of drink.

[+] Drink notes

This one comes with a drinking ritual!

The bourbon is excellently smoky and everything else kinda exists to sweeten it up. Making this at home, you could probably eschew the maraschino if you feel the drink is too sweet. No other adjustments should be necessary. You can also order this minus the garnish but fuck, I just think it REALLY needs that cherry. This is the first drink I made with consideration put toward ordering it at an actual bar or event so I tried to make sure it was appropriately classy.

Jace's End of Shift

[+] How to Make

1 oz silver tequila
.25 oz fresh squeezed lime juice
.25 oz simple syrup
2 dashes Sriracha or hot sauce

Rub a lime wedge around the rim of a double shot glass and roll the rim in salt to coat it.
Shake liquid ingredients over ice, pouring the Sriracha in last. Shake well to fully incorporate. Carefully pour into a double shot glass, as you may have extra liquid from mixing. Enjoy!

[+] Drink Notes

My first shooter. Pretty much born from the long lasting joke that if I ever made a drink for Jace, it would just be a shot of tequila and nothing else. Of course, I can't in good conscience call that a cocktail, even in the loosest sense of the word, but I think I struck upon something pretty darn good here. The sweetness in this recipe is pretty much solely for me; you may enjoy it without the simple syrup, in which case you can give that extra quarter ounce of fluid to the lime juice. If you do have the simple in, a little goes a long way here and I would suggest going 'skinny' on the quarter ounce (err on the side of under-measure, rather than over) as to not bury the competing salty and spicy notes from the lime, sauce and rim.

Other notes: If you have a smokier sauce like a chipotle hot sauce I would consider using it here. I like the color offered by the Sriracha but a muddier appearance wouldn't be all that bad either. Instead of salt on the rim, you could use Tajin.

Do Not Resuscitate

[+] How to Make

Barspoon of absinthe
1.5 oz vodka
1 oz green apple pucker
.5 oz triple sec
seltzer water, approx 2-3 oz.

Rinse a martini glass with absinthe, and return any extra to a mixing glass. To the mixing glass add the vodka, pucker and triple sec, stirring with ice, then strain into the martini glass. Float seltzer onto the glass until you reach desired washline, serve.

[+] Drink Notes

This cocktail does not have an intense flavor due to the heavy dilution, but that works in its favor. It's primarily flavored with absinthe and apple for sweetness which is a pretty interesting combination. I'd like this with fruit juices but I use triple sec to preserve absolute clarity of the drink (where drinks with fruit juices end up cloudy). The seltzer adds volume and mellows everything out until it's positively delightful, something you could drink at a party if you want to look fancy but don't want to get destroyed right away or have too intense a flavor. It WILL destroy you, though. I can't overstate how strong absinthe is. Even with such a minor amount mixed in, it's the dominant flavor.

Paige's Buttery Joe (or: the Paige, No!)

[+] How to Make

2 oz dark rum
1.5 oz iced black coffee
.75 oz butterscotch schnapps
.25 oz-.5 oz creme de cacao
.25 oz cinnamon syrup

Shake liquid ingredients in shaker over ice, strain into a chilled cocktail glass and serve. Enjoy the joe.

[+] Drink Notes

I don't know why the drink's fucking foamy.

The coffee doesn't dominate the taste of the drink, which means it's not too bitter. Possibly because everything, including the rum, works against this bitterness to sweeten the drink. Hell, in actuality the bitterness of the coffee is countering all that sweetness to make sure the drink isn't TOO sweet. I could have added bitters to this, but why? Why not let the coffee be the bitters that's characteristic to the drink?

The Red Stare

[+] How to Make

2 oz rum
.75 oz campari
.75 oz lemon juice
.5 oz grenadine
2-3 dashes orange bitters
2 maraschino cherries

Shake ingredients over ice and strain into a cocktail glass. Garnish with the two cherries so the drink is looking at you. Serve.

[+] Drink Notes

Campari is not my favorite aperetif but it has a way of giving a drink a very striking color. I figured the best way to balance it would be to place it with grenadine, and it works as a sweetener for sure. It also makes the color rich, which was important for the theme. I'm not sure how much the grenadine contributes to the ultimate flavor profile or if it's mostly the lemon juice and orange bitters carrying the weight but by the end of it, this drink tastes almost exactly like ruby red grapefruit juice. Odd, because there's no grapefruit in it, but all the components are there.

And the cherries are just for the 'eyes' of the drink. Get it? Red Stare?

... Don't judge me, I'm drunk.

Chocolate Turtle

[+] How to Make

1.5 oz blended whiskey (or bourbon)
.75 oz creme de cacao
.75 oz butterscotch schnapps
1 oz Govida
1.5 oz heavy cream/milk

Shake ingredients over ice. Strain into chilled cocktail glass and allow a small foam to form. Garnish with shaved milk chocolate.

[+] Drink Notes

This is VERY similar to the Chilly Jilly I have come to realize, which could be differentiated by using a different liquor. Perhaps the Chocolate Turtle specifies bourbon, while any American whiskey will suffice for the Jilly. But yeah, other than that the main addition here is the caramel (in the form of the butterscotch schnapps) which does transform the drink somewhat, but I understand they are otherwise very similar drinks. Fucking tasty though. Grating chocolate instead of using cocoa powder was a great choice and if you're more artistic in your shavings you can make this look a lot prettier. If I had any chocolate syrup or whipped cream, I may have added those just to further separate them. For now, they stay as they are. I just had a good idea twice.

The Talking Banana

[+] How to Make

1.5 oz rye whiskey
1 oz banana liqueur
.5 oz sweet vermouth
2 dashes Peychaud bitters (or Angostura, your choice)

Stir ingredients in mixing glass over ice and strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with a slice of banana (optional)

[+] Drink Notes

Whew. This drink, as made here, is fucking STRONG. Even 1 oz would probably be pushing it. But yeah, literally everything in this one is booze and that probably adds to its extreme smokiness. This one basically tastes like rye, slightly sweetened with banana aftertaste. If you're a drinker of rye, you'll love this. If you prefer a sweeter drink that masks the alcohol more, you will HATE this. I can probably make a more 'candied' version but as-is, it seems very appropriate for who it was based off of. Also I used Knob Creek rye. Good stuff, 100 proof.

Tony's Orange Blossom

[+] How to Make

2 ounces fresh-squeezed orange juice
.5 oz galliano
1.5 oz silver rum
.25 oz amaretto
Orange twist

Shake liquid ingredients over ice, double-strain into wine glass. Garnish with the orange twist.

[+] Drink Notes

Simple, easy-to-gulp drink that's like a more earthy or floral (and less bubbly) mimosa. It's actually a little bit on the sweet side, more than I was expecting, so you don't need the amaretto. In its stead, I would suggest picking up some orange flower water (yes, that's an actual ingredient for making drinks, I just don't happen to have any on me or it would have gone in this drink now that I'm thinking about it) and adding a splash of that to it.

To make this a Bloody Mitsuko, prepare the drink as directed and float a barspoon of grenadine before adding the orange twist garnish.

La Tsarina

[+] How to Make

1.5 oz tequila plata
.5 oz peach schnapps
.5 oz creme de banane
.5 oz lime juice
.25 oz grenadine
1-2 dashes orange bitters
Orange slice
Superfine sugar (optional)

If desired, rim cocktail glass in sugar.
Shake ingredients over ice and pour into cocktail glass, garnish with orange slice.

[+] Drink Notes

Ain't that a pretty drink?

Had to keep myself from adding more ignredients to this one to over complicate it. As it stands, it looks like a lot but that's because I included all the litte garnishes. It's simply a tequila drink with a bit of a flavor profile. The sugared rim is optional and it isn't on the drink in the picture, but the next time I make this it will 100% be with a sugared rim because I feel it would add hugely to the drink. Switching from simple syrup to grenadine at the last moment was also a good call: grenadine adds extra fruityness, more mellow to counter the tart lime, but more importantly it adds color where this drink would otherwise be a cloudy white, kinda off-yellow. The orange bitters make the drink take on extra citrus flavors and... I know I say this a lot, but it ends up tasting like ruby red grapefruit juice to me. I didn't think there was that much liquor in this but it's the only drink I had tonight and DAMN.

Good drink. Probably in my top 5. Don't forget, sugar that damn rim.

Nu Wave

[+] How to Make

2 oz rye
1 oz amaretto
3-4 dashes angostura bitters
2 barspoons maraschino cherry liquid (or grenadine)

In a glass with a skeletal hand on it or other badass vessel, add the dashes of bitters. Pour the rye, amaretto and maraschino cherry juice. Add ice sphere, stir. Express an orange twist over the glass, rub around the rim, drop it in. Superkick your opponent, then enjoy.

[+] Drink Notes

As of my time writing this, rye is my highest-proof liquor in my cabinet so this drink, in so many words, makes my tongue burn. But it's still oddly delicious! It's not too sweet (amaretto and the maraschino cherry juice go a long way toward adding sweet flavors) and it's not hostile in terms of flavor (the rye and bitters balance out perfectly here). The sweetener that I use is a replacement for simple syrup, which if included in a drink like this makes it rather similar to an old fashioned, which is kind of the basis of the idea behind this drink anyway (you can do a million permutations of an old fashioned and have them all come out as decent drinks). Amaretto, plus the cherry, gives this wonderful cherry-almond flavor that turns out delightful and hits on the color I wanted. Ideally, this would be garnished with a cherry, but I didn't have one. You can also dress up the drink with black and pink colors somehow. It'll come to me.

The Catche 22

[+] How to Make

3 oz orange juice (fresh squeezed)
.5 oz lemon juice
.5 oz lime juice
.5 oz grenadine
4 oz regular or diet cola (to top)

In an ice-filled Collins glass, add all the juices and the grenadine, stir. Top with the cola (about 4 oz) and gently stir once more. Insert straw and serve.

[+] Drink Notes

A non-alcoholic take on the Long Island Iced Tea, this drink is slightly more tart than the original. Reducing orange juice by about half an ounce and replacing that with a half ounce of simply syrup should fix that problem, or you could up the grenadine to .75 (or even 1) ounce which retains the drink's overall fruitiness. I also think that the drink could be matured a little with a dash or two of angostura bitters. The problem with that (the Catch 22, you might say) is that while it would improve the flavor of the drink, bitters are technically alcohol based. Not enough to get you drunk in any form or even buzz basically anybody, but enough to count if you wish to abstain. But as-is, it's pretty delicious.

The Sugar Boogie

[+] How to Make

1 part vanilla vodka
1 part butterscotch schnapps
dash of orange bitters

pinch of brown sugar (you'll want just a pinch per 2 oz of liquid; if making multiple shots, you may want to make a syrup from the brown sugar first)

Combine liquid ingredients in mixing glass with ice. Add brown sugar, stir until completely dissolved, then strain into shot glasses.

[+] Drink Notes

Two pronged goal:
Make a drink that tastes like a sugar cookie
Make a drink that's accessible not only in flavor, but attainability of ingredients. The orange bitters are just here to counteract some of that sweetness and make sure it's not SICKLY sweet, but they're honestly kind of optional. You can also pick up a bottle of orange bitters and hold onto it; it's cheap and versatile, and will last a long time.
Otherwise, it's just two kinds of booze plus some brown sugar which you'll find in many households anyway.
And it does taste like a sugar cookie!
Or a sugar boogie, in this case.
The proof also isn't too bad. Vanilla vodka's a touch weaker than average and I use DeKuyper butterscotch schnapps which is like 30 proof or something

Azalea Ivanov

[+] How to Make

2 oz pineapple juice
1 oz lemon juice
.5 oz grenadine
2.5 oz ginger ale

Combine the pineapple juice, lemon juice, and grenadine in a shaker filled with ice. Shake, and strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Gently add the ginger ale without stirring. Serve.

[+] Drink Notes

I recently discovered the Azalea cocktail and loved it straight away, immediately working it into my repertoire. Normally a gin-based drink, converting it into a mocktail was a simple matter of using ginger ale instead (and upping the measureament a bit). I also used more grenadine because the drink's supposed to be pink-ish, but I guess it's just too difficult to overpower 2 ounces of pineapple juice without adding an equal amount of grenadine which would be... WAY too sweet. Even with a whole ounce of lemon juice in there it's only the faintest bit dart between the pineapple and the grenadine (and that level isn't changed much if you reduce the grenadine to, say, a teaspoon, which the original Azalea uses). I did use up the last of my store-bought (fancy) grenadine though, and maybe using the homemade stuff would be a bit more poignant, color-wise. Very fun drink, would serve to kids and straight-edged folk.

Drink me mr kilmarnock

Pls make me into a mocktail.

(make my tongue explode)

My house unfortunately does not believe in soda, but we have coconut milk n a bunch of lime flavored powders/syrups. Maybe sparkling water? I swear to god its like 3 1.5 liter bottles or lime stuff or something. We bought it for a party and never used it. Everything depends on my parents' mood. Except my thirst for tastebud exploding drinks. That is my own sin.

(((I also unironically chug honey)))

Not a big alchy, but make me something and maybe you can motivate me to go to the liquor store and pick up something. I prefer rum drinks and I don’t really fuck with seltzer and would likely sub sprite if you used it. Consider that in your build!

Give me a drink, Bartender.

(I'm not a big mixed drink drinker either but I'd like to request whiskey as a base tho tbh I'd rather you surprise me.)

Ooo, this sounds fun. Please make me a, well, I've got no special requests for mine—I've drank, but not enough to know what to say here.

"Time to mix drinks and save lives."

Looks like the five given slots in the queue are already taken, but if you're doing another round afterwards, I wouldn't mind getting in on that one.

Three drinks down! Just another four and I've emptied my queue. I'll open it up once it's empty again, hehehe.

And with Skraal's drink complete (and presently updating), the queue is once again OPEN

I would enjoy a beverage, my good sir. Anything that doesn't have vodka in it.

Can we request drinks based off of SOTF characters?

(Let us drink Nathan)

(Maybe as a mocktail but its ur kid. Just dont forget to garnish with an Entire Car)

I don't drink much, but this is interesting. Queue me up, good sir.

edit: the less alcohol taste in it the better. but it Can have alcohol

Put me in the drink!

me six