Survival Of The Fittest

Name: Janice Cresner
Gender: Female
Age: 17
Grade: Senior
School: JEM
Hobbies and Interests: Streetball, playing the violin, geocaching, economics

Appearance: Janice is 5'8" tall and weighs 151 pounds with an athletic build. She has her hair bleached making it appear white-ish blonde and has them tied to a ponytail. Her skin is tanned due to her outside activities and she daily wears wakeup.

On the day of the abduction she wore a jersey with leggings with Nike sneakers.

Biography: Janice was born in 2004 to Norton and Deborah Cresner. Both being hard-working chemical engineers they didn't have much time taking care of her as a child. They could afford a babysitter who could take of her, but when she was in the age of going to school she spent much time at her aunts house.

Therefore she grew up with her cousins who were very sporty and very into sports, so she started playing sports with them. She eventually grew to love all kind of team sports, especially grew on playing streetball as a hobby.

Janice picked up playing the violin due to Deborah, who used to a hobby pianist deciding that a kid needs to learn an instrument at a young age so it's easier for them in comparison to learning it at a later age. Deborah picked the violin for Janice because her former boyfriend was a violinists and she was fascinated by the violin. Norton and Deborah paid for a violin teacher and Janice took the lessons. At first Janice got frustrated of the teaching and wanted to quit early on, but from time she grew to love the instrument. It's a hobby she continued practising to this day.

In school she started getting into sports as well. She went to the track team as she already was a pretty active kid. She was one of the faster kids and she enjoyed the fact that she was one of the better runners, so she liked the competitiveness of it as well as being better than the others.

In class she is good at math as well as sciences due to her parents being endeavoured in the field of science. She also likes PE, due to her athletic nature. She's very earnest in studying because her parents pressure her into performing well, or having punishments such as limiting her phone or meeting with friends. She tries being a model student and show the teachers her knowledge and has tendencies to be a teacher's pet in some classes.

Outside of class she is good at socialising with her classmates, especially due to having grown up with her cousins that are roughly the same age, but can easily be aloof to others especially if they dont share the same circles. She also gets easy into a fight with friends and is not that forgiving because she often doesn't seem the point of the other people. She also holds pretty grudges because of that.

She started drinking early, at age 14, introduced by her cousin Tim, who was two years older and also super into drinking. She began drinking more regularly as she grew older, going to parties with peers or with her cousins. She also started her habit of smoking at parties, in group circles. A habit that would help her relax. She didn't mind taking the risks of drinking and smoking, because she wanted to live her life to the fullest. Her parents didn't like it when she discovered her smoking (they did not mind the alcohol, because they were young once too), and got really angry with her. So she started only smoking at parties or outside. She still has the urge to smoke when stressed out.

This lifestyle had a negative effect on her health, and she noticed that when she started getting worse in the tracking team. She began a diet that consisted of low-carb. She started going vegetarian at age sixteen, for the diet and eventually dipped into veganism and has stayed ever since.

She quit the track team due to her poor perfomance, but picked up a new hobby to keep herself active: geocaching. She finds it very fascinating to travel the area to uncover things and solve puzzles. It keeps her daily routine fresh and she loves it. It gave her a new way to live life to the fullest because she'd experience so much through her travels.

For a student job, Janice babysits in her freetime. She plans on going into economics to have a stable job, since she exceeded in maths. For preparation she already took some online courses in business.

Advantages: Janice has a very competitive nature which might make her play the game. She's also experience in the nature due to her geocaching hobby.
Disadvantages: She is very daring and could risk her life. Her smoking and drinking habits have had a negative effect on her stamina.

Hi RC! This profile is a little lengthy but I figure I've got the free time to scour through it so here we go.

Okay, funny business over, time to get to work! To get us started, the school should be written out in full in its section, not just 'JEM'. It is okay to refer to it as JEM later on in the bio.

For the appearance, I will need Janice's facial features such as her eye color, face shape, brow/nose/lips/anything else that can help us get a mental picture for her. Imagine you are dictating to an artist who you want to draw Janice exactly as you envision her in your mind. Additionally, how long is her hair, is it straight or curly? What is her ethnicity? What makeup does she wear (eyeliner, foundation, eyeshadow, lipstick, blush, any or all of these things)? Does she put a lot of effort into her appearance or does she prefer to go for a more casual look given her physical lifestyle? How does she typically dress (outside of her abduction outfit)? One final thing: "has them tied to a ponytail" > this should be "has it tied in a ponytail" because it is referring to her hair, in the singular.

Where was Janice born (was she born and raised in Salem or did she initially live somewhere else and move to Salem)? Given her parents' jobs, are they financially comfortable and able to support living needs aside from hiring a babysitter? Do they live in a house or an apartment? How does Janice not seeing her parents much as a young child affect her developmentally and in regards to her familial relationships, if at all? It's mentioned later on that at least some of her cousins are close to her in age, which can probably be mentioned earlier. How close is she to her cousins? At what age did Janice start learning the violin? If Deborah is a pianist (and a musician in general), why doesn't she spring for piano lessons first since the piano is a great starting instrument for children to learn musical theory (and reading music and things like that) before moving on to violin full-time? The parents paying for the lessons seems to affirm they're fairly well-off or at least middle class so I just want to see that touched on a bit. Does Janice play in the school band, and does she play recitals, concerts, or anything of that nature? How serious is she about the violin?

Is there anything that drew her to track aside from being generally active? One would assume she'd want to play basketball since she has streetball as one of her interests. Speaking of, that hobby is barely touched on outside of a single mention in the profile; I want to see more about her interest and skill in streetball/basketball.

I don't know how her parents being involved in the field of science would mean Janice intrinsically being good at it as well, especially since her parents took a very hands-off approach to raising her. It seems more likely that she has a pronounced interest to do well in that subject because of her parents and if that's the case, write it out.

Do her cousins go to the same school as her? Does her argumentative nature and propensity to hold grudges cost her friends and limit her social circles?

How does Tim, being underaged himself, get a hold of the alcohol that he drinks and introduced Janice to? Combine the paragraph about her smoking with the following paragraph (the one about how it impacted her performance). Why does she begin a low-carb diet and go vegetarian? I get the feeling it's to try and balance out the harmful effects of her drinking and smoking but it's not explicitly said, so spell out the reasoning.

How did she get into geocaching? As a fairly social hobby with interest circles, has she gotten many friends through it?

Janice's tendency to be argumentative and uncooperative with whom she cannot see eye-to-eye can serve as a disadvantage and might want to be included.

That's just about all for this pass, add it in and I'll look it over and do a full grammar sweep.