5 LIVES REMAIN - CONTINUE? (Y/N)
Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2022 2:27 am
((Katelyn's head was splitting.))
The icy wind continued to whip at her face, her bloodstained hood and hat doing little to protect her from its onslaught. The headache caused by the rapid withdrawal from her medication was only getting worse. Her ears rung with a piercing roar, fog settled over the whole of her mind, and her heartbeat pounded on the inside of her skull like a hammer. Snow crunched under her feet as she departed the old road in the direction of the shore, no longer bothering to hide her footsteps. If trouble was hellbent on finding her, then it would, and it too would get more trouble in return.
Dimly, she had followed a path away from the mountain in the distance, sure that she would eventually find the old road again, and despite the soreness in her calves, sure enough, she had found it. She had returned to this place to give Iliya a burial of some kind, but had found herself already beaten to the punch. While a relief for her aching arms, it did nothing to soothe her nerves, knowing that at least one person cared enough about Iliya to bury her, and likely had a vendetta over her murder.
All this detour had accomplished was affirming to her that her efforts to stay alive were ultimately doomed. She had watched enough of the footage to know how this game worked. Getting out was inherently a game of chance. It wasn't the most skilled, or the most knowledgeable, or the most brutal that survived. It was merely the lucky ones who survived another day. Most of them would be lucky day to day, but as numbers dwindled and space became more cramped, it would be harder and harder to stay lucky.
To lose, you only had to get unlucky once. The winner had to be lucky every time.
One of them was fated to be that lucky. Circumstances would miraculously curve in their favor time and time again. Bullets would miss them, otherwise deadly encounters would swerve past them. They would fight, but they would always win. Until it was time to go home.
That lucky person? It wasn't going to be her, because her life didn't work that way. Deep down, she always had a gut feeling that her story would end tragically early. Getting the chance to grow beyond her trauma and heal from the nightmares that haunted her day in and day out was too bittersweet a fate for her. She would die in this place, because living was far too good for her.
Her foot stomped on a discarded branch, crushing it underneath and snapping it in two with a crunch.
Or, perhaps, living wasn't too good for her. Against all odds, she had survived the crash that killed her parents. Her cat's intervention saved her from both of her suicide attempts. It was as if fate was tying itself into knots to both prolong her life and maximize her suffering, as if the universe itself took joy in the tragedy of her existence. Despite the turmoil, she had survived so far, so as doomed as her efforts would be in the end, they were not entirely in vain.
She would live just long enough to suffer the most possible, and the fates would drink her dry of every drop of misery they could. Going on the trip had been the moment she was pushed off the cliff. It had already killed her, and now there was a long way to go to the bottom. More than enough time for her to ponder and fear the view from halfway down.
So why bother playing into fate's machinations? If she was already doomed, then that meant it was time to once again ask herself the age-old question: to be, or not to be? Why prolong the inevitable? What was still driving her ever forward, one foot in front of the other? If she was going to kill to stay alive, then she needed a goal, didn't she? Otherwise, what was the point of all the mayhem she had already wrought, let alone whatever grim future lay ahead?
She licked her dry, chapped lips, the slight sting of it making her face scrunch up.
If nothing else, she still had her friends. Maybe California didn't want anything to do with her anymore, a downer such as she was, but Ren and Kai had been on the trip too. She had sat with them on the bus ride before all hell broke loose. She hadn't heard their names grace the announcements yet, which meant that they were still out there, somewhere. If she was going to die, then she wanted to see them again, and hug them again. A humble goal, but a goal nonetheless.
Katelyn stopped in place, her mental fog whisked away by a moment of clarity. She hadn't thought about Mr. Kitty much at all, until this very moment. The realization dawned on her that she would never see him again. Never feel his soft fur, or his warm body, or his gentle purring. She'd never again be pricked by his claws, or feel his whiskers rubbing up against her leg. The weight of that hit her shoulders all at once, causing her to double over, hands and knees hitting the snow. Her tears once more came freely, as sobs shook and wracked her body.
There was nothing she wanted more than to see his sweet face again, and have him assure her that everything would be alright.
If she allowed herself one single crumb of hope, maybe the sudden stop at the bottom of the cliff didn't need to be so sudden after all. She could claw at the edge of the cliff, spread herself out, slow her descent, and brace for the inevitable impact. Cats always landed on their feet, right?
Maybe she could fool herself into believing that would be enough.
She forced herself back up as the fog settled in once more. Resolute, she continued her unflinching walk. For right now, all she could see was what was in front of her, and all she could do was keep moving forward. Until she saw her friends again, and until the end of her story finally arrived.
((The trail she left behind was marked not only by her footsteps, but her falling tears.))
The icy wind continued to whip at her face, her bloodstained hood and hat doing little to protect her from its onslaught. The headache caused by the rapid withdrawal from her medication was only getting worse. Her ears rung with a piercing roar, fog settled over the whole of her mind, and her heartbeat pounded on the inside of her skull like a hammer. Snow crunched under her feet as she departed the old road in the direction of the shore, no longer bothering to hide her footsteps. If trouble was hellbent on finding her, then it would, and it too would get more trouble in return.
Dimly, she had followed a path away from the mountain in the distance, sure that she would eventually find the old road again, and despite the soreness in her calves, sure enough, she had found it. She had returned to this place to give Iliya a burial of some kind, but had found herself already beaten to the punch. While a relief for her aching arms, it did nothing to soothe her nerves, knowing that at least one person cared enough about Iliya to bury her, and likely had a vendetta over her murder.
All this detour had accomplished was affirming to her that her efforts to stay alive were ultimately doomed. She had watched enough of the footage to know how this game worked. Getting out was inherently a game of chance. It wasn't the most skilled, or the most knowledgeable, or the most brutal that survived. It was merely the lucky ones who survived another day. Most of them would be lucky day to day, but as numbers dwindled and space became more cramped, it would be harder and harder to stay lucky.
To lose, you only had to get unlucky once. The winner had to be lucky every time.
One of them was fated to be that lucky. Circumstances would miraculously curve in their favor time and time again. Bullets would miss them, otherwise deadly encounters would swerve past them. They would fight, but they would always win. Until it was time to go home.
That lucky person? It wasn't going to be her, because her life didn't work that way. Deep down, she always had a gut feeling that her story would end tragically early. Getting the chance to grow beyond her trauma and heal from the nightmares that haunted her day in and day out was too bittersweet a fate for her. She would die in this place, because living was far too good for her.
Her foot stomped on a discarded branch, crushing it underneath and snapping it in two with a crunch.
Or, perhaps, living wasn't too good for her. Against all odds, she had survived the crash that killed her parents. Her cat's intervention saved her from both of her suicide attempts. It was as if fate was tying itself into knots to both prolong her life and maximize her suffering, as if the universe itself took joy in the tragedy of her existence. Despite the turmoil, she had survived so far, so as doomed as her efforts would be in the end, they were not entirely in vain.
She would live just long enough to suffer the most possible, and the fates would drink her dry of every drop of misery they could. Going on the trip had been the moment she was pushed off the cliff. It had already killed her, and now there was a long way to go to the bottom. More than enough time for her to ponder and fear the view from halfway down.
So why bother playing into fate's machinations? If she was already doomed, then that meant it was time to once again ask herself the age-old question: to be, or not to be? Why prolong the inevitable? What was still driving her ever forward, one foot in front of the other? If she was going to kill to stay alive, then she needed a goal, didn't she? Otherwise, what was the point of all the mayhem she had already wrought, let alone whatever grim future lay ahead?
She licked her dry, chapped lips, the slight sting of it making her face scrunch up.
If nothing else, she still had her friends. Maybe California didn't want anything to do with her anymore, a downer such as she was, but Ren and Kai had been on the trip too. She had sat with them on the bus ride before all hell broke loose. She hadn't heard their names grace the announcements yet, which meant that they were still out there, somewhere. If she was going to die, then she wanted to see them again, and hug them again. A humble goal, but a goal nonetheless.
Katelyn stopped in place, her mental fog whisked away by a moment of clarity. She hadn't thought about Mr. Kitty much at all, until this very moment. The realization dawned on her that she would never see him again. Never feel his soft fur, or his warm body, or his gentle purring. She'd never again be pricked by his claws, or feel his whiskers rubbing up against her leg. The weight of that hit her shoulders all at once, causing her to double over, hands and knees hitting the snow. Her tears once more came freely, as sobs shook and wracked her body.
There was nothing she wanted more than to see his sweet face again, and have him assure her that everything would be alright.
If she allowed herself one single crumb of hope, maybe the sudden stop at the bottom of the cliff didn't need to be so sudden after all. She could claw at the edge of the cliff, spread herself out, slow her descent, and brace for the inevitable impact. Cats always landed on their feet, right?
Maybe she could fool herself into believing that would be enough.
She forced herself back up as the fog settled in once more. Resolute, she continued her unflinching walk. For right now, all she could see was what was in front of her, and all she could do was keep moving forward. Until she saw her friends again, and until the end of her story finally arrived.
((The trail she left behind was marked not only by her footsteps, but her falling tears.))