Survival Of The Fittest

((Marshall West continued from The Golden Eel.))

The day so far had been quiet. A couple of hours had passed since the announcement.

Last night, Kai had scavenged loose branches and such and built a shelter and fire for them. Marshall could still feel the chill of the outdoors no matter how he bundled up, no matter how close he was to the fire or shelter. He didn’t think he’d feel warm anywhere on this island.

But they didn’t freeze. They lived until the next announcements.

Jacob was portrayed as having fallen through the ice due to his own incompetence. The guilt festered in Marshall’s gut, and if he’d had the energy he would have started screaming. It wasn’t incompetence. Marshall had driven him out there. He deserved the blame. Or did they think that Marshall receiving the blame would be a prize for too little effort? A ticket out, if he was the last standing?

Last night, Marshall had managed to collect himself enough to try and give California the tobacco. However, the others had quickly identified it as marijuana, not tobacco. This morning, all of them out of goals and in their own heads, rolling joints had seemed like as good a way to pass the time while thinking as any.

Marshall was doing poorly at it. He’d meant to ask for help, but now he needed the distraction. He tried to use his bandaged hand to hold one end down while rolling it up with the fingers on his better hand, only for it to keep slipping.

The announcements continued to circle in his head. Teddie, school mascot who Marshall had driven to tears a few months ago, had died from infected wounds. Victor, Marshall’s last remaining lacrosse teammate, was shot by Julia Guercio. Katelyn had murdered again, despite his and Kai’s efforts.

But one part stuck most of all. Evie had gunned down Dani Bird.

It felt wrong to know Dani was dead, having known her for so long even if they hadn’t been good friends. But it also felt so preventable, in so many ways. What if he’d done things differently that day on the mountain, and brought Dani with him? What if he’d stopped Evie from leaving after she killed Chloé?

What if he’d just taken the gun from Chloé when she offered it? No-one on this island listened unless there was metal in your hand. Could he have changed things if he’d just taken that responsibility in hand when it was offered, after that first announcement? Evie had that gun now. She probably had DeMarcus’ gun too. If Marshall had pushed him off the mountain that day... It was all so preventable.

He couldn’t change it now. Couldn’t change Chloé, DeMarcus, Lara and Dani lying at her feet. Just like he couldn’t take back what he’d said to Jacob.

He could only change how he continued on.

“I think...” Marshall’s voice was croaky after the lack of use, and not helped by the sore throat and intermittent cough. He stopped to clear his throat, then said, “I think I need find Evie.”

((Kai Rosado-Prince continued from The Golden Eel))

Once again, the morning's announcement had left Kai even less in the mood for conversation than usual. The last few had been a series of what felt like Danya kicking him personally while he was down. Hearing himself listed out among the killers. Kitty winning a prize for killing Ash.

Now she'd killed again. She hadn't even slowed down. Ash's death and Kai taking most of the weapons and running had amounted to nothing more than speed bumps.

The worst part might have been that she was one of the last names read off, so there had been time for him to start to hope. Stupid of him, honestly. Maybe it was something that after everything, he could still hope enough to be let down.

There were still small mercies to be had. The shelter he'd built them had held throughout the night, and the snow finally seemed to be letting up. He'd slept as soundly as he probably could have under the circumstances. There had even been a little humor to be found when Marshall produced the "tobacco" he'd discovered, and Kai and Cali had to break it to him that it was weed. Things hadn't been good in the aftermath of Jacob's death, but Kai found himself missing the relative peace. Even sleeping with Cali huddled on one side of him and Marshall on the other had been too necessary for awkwardness. They needed the warmth to get through the night.

He sat between them still, tending the fresh campfire while his thoughts spiraled around Kitty and all the ways he'd failed to stop her. How stupid and naive he'd been. When Marshall spoke, it took a few moments for Kai to register. When he did, he blinked at the fire a couple of times, frowned into it, and then finally looked up at Marshall.

"You want to kill her." It didn't come out as a question. Maybe they'd been having similar lines of thought.

((California Fox continued from The Golden Eel))

Marshall couldn't roll, he was so bad in fact that California doubted he'd ever done it before.

California however was well practiced, and she went through the motions with a fluidity and grace, the only grace she had ever truly possessed. When it came to doing tasks requiring dexterity with her hands, California was second to none, drawing, rolling papers, playing pool, she could do it all and was good at it all. She had been wanting to go to the bar for a while, just because she would have been able to clear her head with a quick game of pool. But the opportunity to suggest it had yet to appear and she wasn't forceful with suggestions like that. So rolling the joints was her distraction from the news the announcement had given, the news of Kitty continuing with her killing unabated. Whatever meaning the girl had taken from their conversation hadn't been the one California had been trying to impart. Combined with Kai and Marshall stealing the majority of her armory, it seemed to California that Kitty had been given multiple signs that killing was the wrong path, taken a look at the sky and rejected all of them.

So they had ended up back at square one, with nothing accomplished other than a pile of weapons that they didn't want to use. At least, that was what she had thought.

But Marshall had spoken up about wanting to find Evie and at first while California had assumed it had been because he wanted to talk, Kai's response clarified the statement. It was how things were going. California didn't have much power to stop it. She didn't have much power at all, given her attempt to talk Kitty away from her actions had failed miserably.

Joint rolled, she pulled out her lighter, and as she lit the end of the joint she glanced across at the two boys.

"Are you sure?" She asked Marshall.

“I’m not sure in the slightest.”

Marshall tried to look up, but the twin gazes of both Kai and California were too much for him, so he looked back down.

“But I don’t think I want to kill her, no. Not… exactly. I just want her to stop. I want everyone to stop, but Evie… that gun. It’s the one Jess left behind. Chloé tried to hand it to me before I ran off after her, but I refused.”

Marshall scowled at his uncooperative hands, his eyes sliding over to see how easily California was folding hers up. He watched her fingers for a few moments, then focused back on his own.

“Evie killed her with that gun. Then Dani and Lara and… I can’t pretend I’m upset about DeMarcus, but him too. So… they’re on me. But if I can disarm her and leave her alive… I think that’d be okay. Whatever she does after that… at least that gun would be out of her—aw, darn.”

The joint Marshall had been attempting tore as he attempted to close it up. Marshall’s scowl lessened into something closer to a pout, before he brushed the annoyance off and tried again.

“Anyway… if that works, all the better. But if she won’t give it up… I don’t know. Then I suppose we play and see who wins. Would… would you mind if I borrowed one of the guns?”

Kai followed Marshall's gaze to Cali's hands and watched her work as Marshall talked. There was something familiar and comforting in watching her methodically roll the joint, even if he'd only seen her smoke cigarettes before.

He considered telling Marshall that DeMarcus dying at Evie's hand was likely just an inevitable conclusion, based on his own encounter. He'd had passing thoughts about what would happen if he ran into DeMarcus and Fred again. As much as he'd insisted to Kitty that there were other ways, that one scenario had seemed like it could only go two possible directions, and both options ended with someone getting shot. DeMarcus had been ready to shoot Kai on sight just for being near a body, so he could readily believe that DeMarcus would have been just as aggressive with Kitty, Evie, or anyone who gave him the slightest reason.

In the end, he didn't say anything about it. "He would have gotten himself killed eventually" didn't seem like it'd have cheered Marshall up.

Kai spent another few moments silently mulling over everything Marshall said about confronting Evie and then heaved a tired sigh. "I wouldn't exactly call it 'borrowing,' because I don't really want any of them back if you take them. No difference whether it's you or me lugging them around." He sat up straighter, rolling his shoulders, before settling back against the nearest tree instead. "If we're going to divide things up, you can take what you want, and then I'd rather throw the rest in the lake or something."

He fell silent again for a moment, turning a smoldering bit of tinder over with the stick he was holding. "I want to keep Meena and Ren's guns. You can take anything else."

Marshall wanted to stop Evie without killing her. California didn't know how he intended to follow through with that idea. She raised the newly lit joint to her lips but paused momentarily, thinking about if getting high on an island that was functionally a warzone was a good idea. However given the overall mood in the group, there wasn't any other way of improving her mental wellbeing. There was a lingering smog of failure that seeped into all of their belongings, the idea that despite everything they had done they'd still failed. Kai had robbed Kitty of her weapons and California had tried to talk her out of her course of action but she had still gone on to kill. Marshall had been forced to hear his failures announced again and again on every morning until he'd finally snapped and caused a death. No matter what they did the stench of failure clung to them, for they had barely achieved anything.

So California breathed deep and exhaled with a sad sigh, letting the smoke and smell wash over her, hiding the stench like a teenager's bad deodorant. She hadn't told Kai about her meeting with Kitty. He would have been worried by it, fearful of the danger she had theoretically been as her spree killer friend had stood nearby, trying to argue for why her murders were justified, stopping only slightly short of providing a manifesto. No, California knew Kai wouldn't like the news that they had spoken or that it had been after he had stolen the weapons, the point where she would have been most at risk from Kitty. But she would have to tell him eventually, she knew that.

"Getting rid of the rest sounds good," She offered to the conversation before taking another drag and then passing the joint over to Marshall. "Here, inhale and hold it in your lungs for a few seconds."

Neither of them were stopping him. Marshall was relieved, thankful and a little disappointed.

“Thank you. Any gun will do, as long as I can use it with one hand. ...I don’t really know a lot about guns, so… um. I’m not picky. I agree, though. Throwing what’s not being used away… It might be too late to stop it all, but it can’t hurt.”

Marshall looked at the joint California was offering, then at the one he was failing to roll up, before he reached out to take the lit one.

“Rolling’s harder than it looks… thank you. Do… do you have a plan after this?” He held the joint with ill ease, inexperience obvious. He rocked back and forth, working himself up to it, before he repeated, “Hold it in the lungs,” and brought the joint to his lips.

He succeeded in holding the smoke for about a second before a mix of sore throat, inexperience, a hint of whatever horrible smells had been in that lab, and possibly just plain doing it wrong caused him to start coughing violently. He covered his mouth with the back of his wrist in an attempt to play it off.

“I’m fine,” Marshall wheezed, the words not convincing amid the sound of him hacking up his lungs. “That was a—a practice run! Gimme a second!”

"Take your time," Kai told Marshall as he sputtered and coughed. The faintest hint of a smile flickered over his face before dropping again. He set down the stick he'd been poking the fire with and turned his attention to the weapon bundle to unwrap the bedsheets from around it. He carefully selected the two guns that had been taken from Derek and Chiara's bodies and tugged the sheet over to set them on it between himself and Marshall.

Both were revolvers. The one Derek had been carrying had a longer barrel, like something out of an old Western film. Chiara's was smaller. Almost dainty, if you wanted to describe a gun that way. They were easy to pick out from Ren's blocky, snub-nosed handgun, and Kai carefully moved that one aside so that it wouldn't get picked out.

"This one will probably be easier to carry," he said, indicating Chiara's gun. "They both might be tricky to load, though." No point in dancing around the topic of Marshall's half-destroyed hand.

Kai glanced at Ren's gun again and then over at Cali, but he didn't say anything about that for the moment. "I haven't actually fired any of these, but I know this one works." Chiara had shot somebody with it the day before she ran into him and Kitty in the tunnels. That was how he knew. Just like how he knew the shotgun worked because Meena had killed someone the day that he died.

Maybe that was the nature of how things went. Maybe Kai himself was just bad luck.

"Less weapons around is never a bad thing," California murmured in response to Marshall.

Marshall's first attempt at smoking was a predictably spluttering mess. She smiled a little at it, a wisp of normalcy that they got to experience for once. Sadly as briefly as it appeared the wisp was blown away by Kai bringing up the topic of the guns, snuffed out by the shadow of violence that hung over all of them. It was inescapable, even when discussing trying to stop someone without violence they needed to be mindful of how armed they were, just in case. The cycle repeated and repeated no matter what they tried to do. Kitty proved that.

Deep down California wondered if Marshall did intend on finding them again. It seemed unlikely he would be able to do it, she had been looking for Kai since she had woken and only found him through luck, but on the other hand Kitty had randomly stumbled upon her she supposed. But even if his confrontation went how he wanted with Evie, California had to wonder what his next step was supposed to be. What did he plan to do afterward? It was hard to tell if even he knew what he wanted out of it. But Evie had killed Chloé so California hardly felt like she could stand in Marshall's way. Even if it seemed like he was marching off to his own death.

"Do you know how to use a gun?"

“I hate taking my time,” Marshall grumbled, though in a lighter tone than he’d spoken with in days.

Taking too much time had always felt like wasting time. He’d definitely wasted time on this island before, but never on purpose. Back home, taking too long to do something had always cut into his next rigorously scheduled activity.

He attempted smoking once more, this time managing to hold the smoke in now that he was more prepared for it. It felt uncomfortable in a myriad of ways, but breathing in smoke made him feel warm. Made him briefly less afraid of the cold.

He eyed the gun Kai indicated to as he held the smoke, then nodded. The reasoning made sense. Both the guns looked similar enough that it didn’t matter much. Neither was like Chloé’s. Hers – once that gun had become Evie’s – had shot many bullets in short order.

Then he exhaled – although he only let out half the smoke before a second onset of coughs, smaller this time, disrupted the flow.

“Makes sense,” Marshall said once he’d collected himself. “It’ll be all the more reason to not fire it too much. And I know basic gun safety, but I have no prior experience. That’s why I didn’t take the gun from Chloé.”

He should focus on the gun. On Evie. Part of him seethed at his own decision to choose now to experience marijuana. But when would he ever get the chance again?

“I probably shouldn’t be firing it while inebriated,” Marshall said. “How long does marijuana take to take effect?”

He held the joint out to Kai. He would have decried passing around the same joint as unhygienic under normal circumstances (and also complained about all parts of the practice in general) but California had passed her one to him. That was some kind of tradition, wasn’t it? To pass it in a circle.

Realistically… he probably wasn’t going to see these two again, if he went to confront Evie. He’d like to… but he and Chloé had failed to meet up all week despite knowing where to go. So if nothing else, sitting here with Kai and California, experiencing what he’d always denied himself – both the weed, and relaxing with friends without some secondary purpose – this would make one less regret to go out on, no matter what came next.

Kai's eyebrows rose slightly when Marshall offered him the joint. He supposed he should have expected it, but... well, he'd never actually smoked before either. He avoided things like that. Not out of some kind of moral principle or anything. Personal discomfort. Maybe a little part of him had bought into those anti-drug and alcohol PSAs about how one puff or one sip would kick you down a path of self-destruction. Mostly that was just because he'd seen it up close himself.

His rational mind knew that wasn't true, even if the irrational part believed it. But being realistic, even if it was true...

It wasn't like they had much time left to ruin their own lives, anyway.

Kai accepted the joint, pinching it carefully between his thumb and forefinger. He glanced sidelong at Cali again before bringing it to his lips to inhale. He could imagine that he and Marshall looked like a couple of dumb dorks fumbling around with something that she was at least familiar with. There was something normal and comforting about that.

Kai's first inhale went about as well as Marshall's had. He wasn't prepared for how hot the smoke was when it hit his throat, and he nearly gagged. It bent him forward, sputtering and coughing in the same way until he'd teared up a little bit.

"Ugh... I guess you get used to it." He didn't make a second attempt and instead handed the joint back to Cali again.

Neither of the boys could smoke.

She had expected as much from Marshall but was surprised that Kai struggled, although she didn’t know why she’d assumed he’d smoked before. It was kind of cute though, watching the two of them, who had managed to steal an armoury worth of guns from the largest killer left alive, be defeated by having to try a joint.

“Well you both need practice,” She said, with a small giggle and smile at Kai as she took the joint back.

At Marshall’s question California could only offer a shrug.

“Depends,” She said before taking her own drag and exhaling up into the air, watching as the smoke curled and looped around itself for a few moments before continuing “You’ll know when it has because your head will feel lighter,”

She paused to take another quick puff and check how well the joint was burning.

“It’ll feel a bit like you’re dreaming.”

Satisfied she held the joint back out to Marshall.

“Try again.”

His hands hovered around Kai’s back, like he was planning to do the Heimlich maneuver, but once it became clear that Kai was fine, Marshall let out a short giggle that he tried to suppress. But he only managed to hold it in for a moment before he burst out laughing in full.

Kai being unable to hold his weed wasn’t that funny, but it was one of those times where that little bit of amusement hit just right and turned something a little funny into the funniest thing in the world.

“Sorry! Sorry, I thought you were more experienced!”

Though Marshall couldn’t explain why he thought that. Perhaps because he knew California smoked, and assumed it was a common factor. Or he just assumed that everyone had tried these things while he was at home studying, like how alcohol consumption had been normal at Dani’s party despite the fact that no-one there was twenty-one.

The joint circled back to Marshall.

“Practice. Right,” Marshall said, his voice regaining some semblance of control again.

More practice would mean that he’d be too high to leave for longer. It’d be irresponsible of him to wander into the wild yonder with a gun in any inebriated state.

But he took the joint again anyway.

“Practice makes perfect, and I pride myself on never giving up until I reach perfection.” For the first time in nearly a week, Marshall’s old, slightly manic grin returned to his face.

The guilt, and the worry, and the knowledge of what he needed to do was still there, of course. But right now, he had the excuse to stay in good company. He was going to enjoy it if it was the last thing he did, because it very well could be.

((Marshall West continued in Color In Your Cheeks.))

"I've never smoked before," Kai mumbled, blinking a few times to clear his watering eyes. He hadn't minded too much if Cali smoked around him, but the rest of their small circle wasn't particularly adventurous when it came to substances. Her short description of what it would feel like when the weed took effect sounded nice, though. Kai would be okay with dreaming for a bit.

The second inhale went down a little easier. Cali showed him how to breathe in the smoke while leaving room at the corners of his mouth to let cool air in so it wouldn't burn as much going down. He still felt clearheaded for a little while after it seemed to start affecting Marshall, but a surprisingly comfortable heaviness crept up on him.

He found himself gradually leaning to the side until he was nearly pressed up against Cali. She was a point of warmth at his side just like the fire in front of him. Right, the fire. Just barely remembered to keep tending the fire.

"S'kinda nice," he said at one point. His tongue felt clumsy and slow in his mouth. An echo of something he'd felt before.

"When we're done here, I wanna... get rid of everything." He'd already said that. It felt important to repeat for some reason. "Dunno what to do next."

"...'M glad you're here."

Kai did better the second time he tried, using her instructions as a guide to achieving a more satisfying high. It seemed to take better too, as he eventually fell into being noticeably high. That made all three of them as California received the joint back and took another long drag where she let the smoke linger in her lungs before exhaling.

As she did so Kai mentioned dumping everything again, although he stumbled over the words, which was impressive given the slow speed he had been saying them. It didn't seem appropriate but it made her giggle again, which brought about thoughts of how high she herself was.

She never giggled. It wasn't a noise she was used to making, but she'd done it twice in quick succession. It was something to do with her company she supposed. She felt comfortable around Kai, and although she didn't know Marshall that well, in the time they'd spent together he felt like a caring person.

Kai had been gradually leaning towards her, like a tree about to topple over. California didn't do anything to stop his listing, instead she embraced that it was happening and let it play out. As he continued to fall to the side he mumbled about how he was glad she was with him and California felt a slowly ignition in her stomach that travelled up her sternum and into her chest. A smile flicked across her face and she sniffed and rubbed at her face to try and play off her reddening cheeks. She could probably blame the weed, Kai likely didn't know that much about it.

"I'm glad you're here too," She said, voice sounding muffled and faraway, but a hint of excitement seeping through. "I'm glad I found you."