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Kermit Critiques

Posted: Sun Jun 23, 2024 10:15 pm
by Kermit
See title.

Hello. As you may have guessed, I'm Kermit. I am an individual who has read a lot of SOTF. Sometimes I have opinions on things. Rarely do I share them, because I generally consider them arbitrary and irrelevant under most circumstances, and also because it takes me a great deal of creative effort to directly articulate them in a way that satisfactorily and succinctly conveys what I actually want to say. Nonetheless, there are people who may care about them for some reason. If you are one of those people, this thread is for you.

Things to note:
- Secretly deep down beneath the shitposting and recursive irony layers, I'm a horrifying blend approximately somewhere between Spock and Abed from Community. My general reading background prior to SOTF trended heavily towards non-fiction stuff. I did not grow up entrenched in fanfiction and YA and VNs. I have never engaged in fandom culture beyond an observational capacity. Media theory is my skrunkly blorbo. All this will have a bearing on the perspective I'm approaching your critique from. Most of the time, the bulk of my actual critique is going to be focused more on form/functionality, composition, and rp theory stuff, rather than "this thing conforms to my personal taste."
- If I'm critical of something, please please please don't beat yourself (or me!) up over it or take it personally, because that's not how I mean it! None of us are going to be perfect RPers or writers 100% of the time, and that's okay! I ain't gonna blame you for it or hold it against you. At the end of the day, on a certain level most of this will still come down to my personal perceptions and opinions, and I, like you, am a fallible human being.
- I will be accepting characters from both Main & Mini. However, critiques for offsite RPs like DoTF and non-official ones like ORDG are outside my wheelhouse. Please, characters with (game-mechanically) "finished" stories only (that means, at the moment, no v8 survivors (until aftermath closes August 1st!!!).)
- One character per handler at a time. When requesting a critique, keep in mind that there's only one of me -- beefy characters will hold up the queue.
- I will be publicly posting my writeups in this thread as I finish them! If that's something that'd give you anxiety, please please please, don't feel obligated to put yourself into the line of fire for this. Writeups for Main kids will go in the Main thread, writeups for Mini kids will go in the Mini thread.

Finally, because I'm a bureaucrat at heart, here is the critique request form. Post in this thread with it filled out, and I'll put you in the queue.
Character Name: (self-explanatory)
Specific Requests for Critique: (e.g. Are there any aspects you want me to focus on for your critique (readability, dialogue, pacing, RP theory, composition, etc.)? Do you want me to use the softest kid gloves I can? Do you want me to be an insufferable CinemaSins-esque pedant about every single mistake you may have made in your life?)
Queue:
  1. Ray Sullivan (EllisWilson, Cyber) - [CURRENTLY IN-PROGRESS, DEALING WITH A FEW SELF-INFLICTED TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES (AKA, I ACCIDENTALLY OVERWROTE THE TEXT DOC WHERE I WAS DOING MY WRITEUP BECAUSE IN MY INFINITE WISDOM I NAMED IT NEARLY IDENTICALLY TO THE DOC WHERE I KEEP IN-PROGRESS STAT STUFF)]
  2. Ana Ford (Deamon, Supers)
  3. Katelynne Kirkpatrick (Jilly, V7)
  4. Kyle Benson (Ohm, Supers)
  5. Jewel Evans (MurderWeasel, TV2)
  6. Melodie Bernard (Yona, Supers)
  7. Claire Haig (Dogs231, V8)
  8. Ximena Rodriguez (Carrion Queen, Supers)
  9. Eden Zima (Zetsu, V8)
  10. June Madison (Maraoone, V8)

Re: Kermit Critiques

Posted: Mon Jun 24, 2024 7:27 pm
by Jilly
hey kermbo, thanks for offering looks at characters

Character Name: Katelynne Kirkpatrick (V7)
Specific Requests for Critique: Just anything that really sticks out to you as either being noteworthy or kinda cringe, if she reads too much like "man writing feminine woman" syndrome or if her narrative treats her like she's too innocent and good of a person instead of being flawed in her own right, etc. You can go as brutal or kind as you want but I would rather not see the cinemasins counter in the corner.

Re: Kermit Critiques

Posted: Mon Jul 01, 2024 6:20 am
by Dogs231
Character Name: Claire Haig
Specific Requests for Critique: Standard. I also request a second copy written entirely in Shakespearian sonnet (per Toben's suggestion).

Re: Kermit Critiques

Posted: Thu Jul 04, 2024 7:42 pm
by Zetsu
board critiques my beloved

Character Name: Eden Zima
Specific Requests for Critique: I'd like something on the tough and nitpicky side of things, but not necessarily brutal. Focus on whatever you want; I'd appreciate thoughts on both/either macro and/or micro stuff!

Re: Kermit Critiques

Posted: Thu Aug 01, 2024 2:18 pm
by Maraoone
henlo

Character Name: June Madison
Specific Requests for Critique: Say things however you want to say them, no need to hold back. Particularly would like thoughts on her Aftermath