Survival Of The Fittest

August 9th, 2021

Thomas entered the classroom, filled with nervous joy. Thomas remembered what his mom said and it helped calm his nerves a little. She had told him It's the first day of High School, everyone in Freshman year is nervous! But Thomas was nervous due to having just gone through a near-death experience of almost running his bike in front of a moving car. He was ready to either forget it or tell all his friends about it. Thomas wasn't sure just yet which one he would choose.

As Thomas looked around, he realized the only other person in the room was a middle-aged balding man sitting behind a desk, with the whiteboard showing his name as Mr. Owens. The teacher looked up from his papers, seeing Thomas in the doorway. "Welcome! You're the first one here, take a seat anywhere!"

Thomas followed his instructions, heading to the nearest empty table, and sat down, hundreds of thoughts swirling through his head.

((Kicks, kohl, gum, Dutch braid, teardrop aviators, ripped sky blue high-waisted jeans, Herschel Supply Co. backpack, cotton-knit draped ivory Billabong cardigan, plain white tee from Nordstrom, walking like she had any fucking idea where she was going, AirPods in, listening to a decade-old song from Gossip Girl.))

"Have a heart, have a heart, have a heart
Sixteen, six, six, six and I know the part
You are the river flow
And we can never know
We're just the weatherman
You make the wind blow
Keep thinking about every straight face, yes
Wonder what your boyfriend thinks about your braces
What about them? I'm all about them
Six such straight A's
Cut 'em in the bathroom"

Olivia'd grown four inches taller, Liam's voice was deeper by an octave, Jayden had pecs.

"So this is it then?
You're here to win, friend
Click-click, settle up
See you on the moon, then
You're all alone friend?
Pick up the phone, then
Ring-ring, call them up
Tell them about the new trends
So this is it then?
You're here to win, friend
Click-click, settle up
See you on the moon, then
You're all alone friend?
Pick up the phone, then
Ring-ring, call 'em up
Tell 'em about the new trends"

Stella'd always imagined high school with more hallways.

"Have a heart, have a heart, have a heart
Sixteen, six, six, six and you fell apart
You form a terror pack
And I'm aware of that
But we could fist fight drunk like The Parent Trap"

She poked her head through the doorway. Scanned the room. This was the place. Owens. Never met the kid sitting there before -- probably from different schools -- but he looked normal. Seemed distracted.

"Welcome," Mr. Owens said.

Stella nodded. "Hi," she mouthed. Tried to keep the giddy smile from her face. Walked to a desk. Middle row, far right side of the room. Slid her backpack under the chair and sat down.

"Keep thinking 'bout every straight face, yes
Wonder what your boyfriend thinks about your braces
We never blink, see, and you can see me
We fell asleep in the middle of a theory-"

She took her phone out and paused her soundtrack. Took her sunglasses off, put them on the desk. AirPods went into her phone pocket.

And then, silently, she waited to discover who was gonna walk in and sit next to her. One eye on her feed, one eye watching the door.

Looking at Thomas, you would be given the impression that he was having some tough, philosophical thoughts although in reality, here were his current thoughts:

It would be great to have a DeLorean from Back To The Future! What would I actually try to do with a time machine? maybe JFK?

Thomas heard Mr. Owens speak, and it broke Thomas' concentration. He looked around again, seeing a girl enter the classroom. Thomas watched as the girl plopped herself on the left side of the class, so the two were now on opposite sides of the classroom.

Now Thomas' thoughts began dwelling on more important things. Alright Thomas, is it time to make a new pal? How should I do it... Walk over? No, too weird... Sit over here and hope she comes over? Why would she do that? There he went again, deep in thought.

...

Place was so quiet, she could hear her own breathing. Was she here too early? She'd been expecting more people by now.

Covertly, she glanced at the boy on the other side of the room. Again, he looked normal. Didn't mean she was gonna go out of her way to talk to a guy she didn't know anything about. Healthy mistrust of men, nothing personal. Sorry to the Andrew Cuomo and Killdozer communities.

Looked back down at her phone.

Chewed her gum. Wasn't bubblegum. On the first day of school? Would've been tacky.

Clarissa hated the sensation of sunscreen, but. She could feel the not so gentle tickle of cooked meat. She could almost smell it. It'd become an itch in an hour or so. Pale would turn pink, skin would turn pain. Yes. Definitely sunscreen whenever the sun was out from now on. She'd thought the school would be mostly indoors like middle school had been. Dang pattern recognition.

Left turn right turn left turn last building on the left left turn second door down. Also the last door down. Ten minutes early? Something like that. Some amount of early, that was for sure.

[Clarissa Shoemaker, Pregame Thread -1]

She entered the classroom, killing Spotify with a gunshot tap from one finger on her phone. She nodded politely to the oldest looking face in the room before it said anything or before she knew a name or a face.

"Hello there!"

Warm gray eyes, heavy under a mess of wrinkles. Kind of bald in a distinctively deep horseshoe pattern. She'd remember him with that one. The paper carefully gripped in her fingers said his name was Mr. Owens. So did the whiteboard. That was definitely his name then.

"Hello sir."

Clarissa heard exactly how quiet the door was as she guided it shut behind her with a hand, without stopping to wait for it. She took the nearest open desk, back row, to the right of one of the other two occupied desks in the room. Human shaped apparitions who didn't have distinct features yet, cats in a uranium cake box. Clarissa put on a smile. Put down her polka dot backpack, zipper decorated by an acrylic keychain creeper, aw man, etc. She adjusted the cute broccoli claw clip she'd grabbed from her faves drawer that morning, making sure no stray curls tickled her neck. Clarissa sat upright. She knew it was the right and proper posture when it was just a bit uncomfortable.

She glanced at the shape next to her. The closer one. A guy, kind of tall, thin, lightly tanned skin. Very messy dark hair. Sharp chin and cheeks. Glasses that almost didn't seem to have an edge, like the lens was sitting right on top of his eyesocket. Right. Face needed a name. Regardless of whether they'd be friends or not. They were still neighbors, and neighbors were neighbros, and it was always easy to follow someone on Instagram even if they never posted. If they didn't have an Instagram, well. Well, Clarissa hadn't really thought that far and she'd never needed to.

"Hey there," She smiled softly, nodding. Waiting for his response before she tried to figure out the other mystery contestant in the room. "My name's Clarissa."

Saying too much sometimes made people look annoyed with her. Something about how it was 'too upfront' according to Raya, which was defintiely a word that meant something besides its dictionary definition.

As Thomas heard a voice, he yet again came out of his deep thinking. He looked around the room, puzzled until he realized the voice had come right next to him.

"Oh... Hello! Didn't realize you were right next to me!"

Thomas extended his right arm toward the girl for a handshake, something Thomas was never quite sure if people usually do. Some people responded by completing the handshake, while others looked at the hand like a diseased monster. Alright Thomas, now is the time to small talk! "Hi, my name is Thomas!" And that was when Thomas' mind went blank.

What should I say? Movies, video games, anything! But what specifically?

Oh! Right there, a creeper pin, aw yeah! "Hey, nice creeper! You play Minecraft?" Perfect!

New face sat next to the other kid. Clarissa and Thomas. Stella would remember them.

Took the AirPods back out of her pocket. Put them in her ears; fit loose, noise uncancelled. Didn't start the music.

Twisted her lips to the side a bit. Didn't super care about Minecraft.

Still kept listening.

Clarissa regarded the extended hand like it was a flashbang. ??? Confused ??? It took a moment for the words from a wiser, stately-er generation blossoming into her thoughts. Dad saying 'firm grip, not too firm. Shoulders square. Smile'. Handshake, right. She hadn't expected she'd be doing oe of those before like, work or something. Even when she worked down at the shop and it was some old man or woman bringing in a car they always went for hugs or high fives or something. Handshakes never.

She reached out, her roughly filed fingernails briefly grazing Thomas' knuckles. Firm grip not too firm shoulders square. Clarissa continued to smile, feeling a bit more at ease. Her hand was back at her side, two hands now beginning to casually walk her through her own sentences. Little waves, bounces, clicks of fingertips together. She honestly didn't remember when she'd started doing that.

"Yeah! I mean fuck creepers in particular though." Clarissa wasn't much of a base builder but still. Jump scare explosions were not a vibe. "I got super into the game last year during the pandemic. You know Dream? I guess I think he's cute or, like, something," she shrugged, briefly rolling her eyes. Dumb little teenage crushes that were stupid, or something like that. The sort bro told her about, like, a lot. They never lasted. They were still kinda fun. More than kinda nerve wracking.

"And now I do like, parkour maps and stuff. Kinda dumb to be honest. But I don't really play with friends?" As in she had no friends that played. Far as she was aware. "I'd be down to though!"

Hm, was she reaching the part where she was talking too much? Was Raya rolling over in her grave despite still being very much alive and probably running around looking for her own first class of the day? Questions Clarissa couldn't answer. But Thomas was still looking at her and that was a good sign, probably. The conversation was still going, probably, and Clarissa had an inkling of a thought that pulling in the third unknown face in the room was the polite thing to do but who knew if that was actually the right move or not.

Clarissa's hand went looking for her phone without eyes to back it up. She almost knocked her bag off her desk before she remembered that her phone was awkwardly shoved into the pocket of her jeans.

"If you've got an Insta or a TikTok I'm down to follow." She flashed a few of her reels in the process of showing off her handle- clarissaCarDr. "Apologies for the gay looking stuff. Me irl, et cetera. Out and proud!"

Disclosing her sexuality was probably veering- rip suspension- into the realm of talking too much. As if Raya hadn't already been suffering. But like, why hide it? It was better for the world if more people were honest, especially people like Clarissa. She was pretty sure that was how white privilege worked anyways- it was a bit of a lot of a confusing subject and one her dad had told her to never ever talk about again.

"And uh, what else about me...?" Ellipses......

"I'm gonna try out for cheer. Oh, and dance! Oh! Uh, and I'm sorry for domineering the conversation!"

Thomas smiled, thinking This is going great! Thomas liked listening to what people had to say, especially those he had never met. As Clarissa finished talking, Thomas took a few seconds to process all the information. As he looked around he realized many more students were arriving, and as he looked at the clock he noticed there was three minutes until class started. Better talk about the important stuff mainly.

She had apologized for talking too long, which Thomas made Thomas respond with, "Hey no worries, you lead a very interesting life!" Thomas took a few seconds to wonder if that had any mean edge to it. "But yeah, Minecraft is awesome, I would definitely be down to play!" Thomas looked at his backpack and realized his phone was not in the usual spot.

Hmm, a slight inconvenience... "About TicTok and Instagram..." As those words escaped his lips, It slowly began to dawn on Thomas that he did not own either app. Ok... Not a big deal... Just get her phone number. No, she seems like somebody who would only communicate through those apps. "I don't have my phone on right now..." A few silent and uncomfortable seconds went by, as Thomas attempted to figure out what he should do next. "but you could write it down so I can remember. Here I got some paper." Thomas ripped open his backpack, pulling out an empty notebook and a pencil. "Yeah, my name is..." Think of a name... A good one... "TheThomas53!" Nailed it!

General rule: first impressions dictate perception. Genetically, a hyena's a cat-mongoose. Looks like a dog, seems like a dog, you call it a dog. Creating a label creates a frame; you can't go back. Strata always form.

Clarissa, Stella thought, would be wise to understand that the next time she felt like speaking about herself in public.

Anywayyyyys.

Like, trying out for cheer? See you around.

...

People were starting to streeeeam in now.

A clack, clack, clack, clack, clack from behind her. Oh, shut the front door, she knew those freaking shoes anywhere. Pixie cut, H&M and Lulu Lemon, trying her best in the lower-middle class, 8th Grade third place bestie. She turned her head.

"Ingriiiiid." Stella said. Reasonable volume.

"Stellaaaa!" Ingrid squeed. Whole class could hear.

Stella stood up. Had a quick hug. Sat down. AirPods went back in her pocket for good. Ingrid slid into the next seat over.

Thank freaking God.

That was a compliment, right? Interesting life. Thomas was smiling, but sometimes people smiled when they actually thought you were, like, an idiot. Or wanted something from you, and then made mean comments behind your back, and then Raya kicked them in the shin after school. Etc etc.

She was pretty sure Thomas was being sincere. Cross her heart hope to die. Not literally.

"Survival mode only!" Clarissa stared down at the extremely archaic concept of manifesting contact info into ink and lead, a bit surprised people did that, promptly accepting the torn up bit of paper with a smile as she redundantly put TheThomas53 into her notes app with a taptaptap.

"What happened to your phone though? I can help you look for it if you need."

People were starting to come into the class and Clarissa recognized like... nobody. A familiar face or two from her alma mater- was that the right use of the word?- J Morales. The middle school of all time. Kinda mid, etc. She recognized those old faces but not those old names. Nobody from cheer or from her friends groups. The distressed, slightly malfunctioning 90s Windows 2k using computer in her head was saving distinctive appearances to file... Briefly she lingered on a duo talking loud enough to force her to pay attention by the far side of the room, one of the girls in particular trying to destroy people's eardrums with her sonic boom. Boyish hair cut on one. Beautiful and absurdly perfect teeth she didn't even know were possible on the other.

She turned her attention back to Thomas, no names for any of the faces she'd just downloaded at dial up speeds. She smiled bright to fill the silence and empty space.

"Uh so since I said way too much... what clubs are you joining?"

Thomas smiled when Clarissa declared Survival Mode only. If he any happier than he was right now, he would be sad (Dean Martin reference)."Good news for you, I only played Survival. And Hardcore that one time... Didn't end well."

The conversation was going quite well, and when Clarissa asked about what happened to Thomas' phone, he sheepishly answered, "Oh don't worry, just left it at home. I swear if I had a nickel for every time that happened..." Thomas' nervous thoughts kicked back in. Do people say stuff like that still? I knew I should have asked Sara more questions about how to be "Cool." Thomas didn't see the irony that thought had given. He was the eldest and yet he was asking for tips from his younger sister.

Now the conversation was in his court, as Clarissa had served an interesting question to him. "I haven't thought that hard about it. I have seen some good stuff about the Horror club so I would check that out. Ooh, and the TTRPG club, that's going to be awesome!" Thomas glanced over at Clarissa, and added, "Yeah... If you couldn't tell from that... I'm sort of a nerd." Thomas didn't mind if people thought he was odd, and he was completely fine with being labeled as a nerd. All Thomas hoped was that Clarissa was also ok with that, but from what he had seen, Clarissa seemed like the sort of person to be fine with somebody being a "nerd". "What about you? Got any clubs you're thinking of?"

"Stella," Ingrid said, phone leant over the table, browser open on the neon purple fingernails of an anonymous influencer, "whaaat color are these?"

Stella glanced.

"Lilac."

"Kraig said they were maroon."

"He's literally colorblind."

"Is he?"

"Probably."

One minute left until the precipice hit.

Clarissa knew some people were pretty forgetful but it surprised her everytime. She had always been aware of where her phone was since she'd started carrying one around as a little girl. Left pocket, always left pocket. One of the girls she'd known in sixth grade- Basil, very red hair, always wore braids, extremely round eyes- had told her putting her phone in her pocket was very unfashionable, which Clarissa remembered but didn't remember the reason behind.

"You'd have a lot of money, I guess?" A giggle, on-beat, soft. "Horror club sounds scary! I watched an Annabelle movie when I was young and it made my chest hurt." A moment's pause. "Also, uh. Sorry for asking, but what is a TTRPG? In middle school some people would talk about it in class, and I never asked what they were talking about."

Suddenly, a tap on her shoulder.

Clarissa's skin briefly shrunk. Too tight. She paused for a long moment, remembering where she was in space and time.

Turned to face the other person. Long face long nose. Silver streaks of dye through his ghost blonde hair. Hopefully the timing was right to not interrupt her getting to know Thomas. Rude was bad. Distractions were bad.

"Do you have a pencil? Forgot mine."

"That sucks!" Clarissa nodded, empathically, as she... scrounged a pencil. Front pocket zipperclosedonthelefthandside. Pencil bag. Lightning McQueen. She'd owned it since the second grade. Still looked like she'd bought it during that summer's back to school sale. She handed over a pale purple mechanical. "Here. Name's Clarissa, by the dubz."

"Lionel." He was already looking back to the front.

Clarissa turned back to Thomas. Realigned, topic of 'what is TTRPG' back to the forefront of her mind. Before it was lost.