Survival Of The Fittest

Name: Remi Daymond
Gender: Female
Age: 18
Grade: 12th
School: Southwest Red Rock High School
Hobbies and Interests: Swimming, drawing, watercoloring, fitness

Appearance: Remi Daymond is a 5’9” Caucasian female who weighs 150 lbs. She has an athletic build to her body with a broad chest and an inverted triangle figure. She has a muscular build with toned arms and legs with slight abs on her stomach. While she has light skin, her years of swimming had left the tan lines of a backless one-piece swimsuit across her body. Her arms, legs, head, shoulders, and upper back are now left in a deep tan color. She has a diamond-shaped face with almond-shaped green eyes, downturned lips, a straight nose, and short dark brown hair in a pixie undercut.

Her wardrobe consists of clothes that go against feminine wear and are more stylized towards a tomboy look. She rarely wears skirts, dresses, or any other clothing with bright, flashy colors. Instead, she wears clothes that include softer, darker colors, mostly consisting of black and grey. On other occasions, she likes to incorporate sportswear into her wardrobe, such as sweatpants, athletic shoes, compression sleeves, and hoodies. On the day of the abduction, she wore a plain, light grey crop top under a black zip-up jacket with a blue wave design, a black choker with a blue sea glass pendant, black denim cutoffs, a pair of black & grey athletic shoes with no-show socks, and a hip bag strapped to her right thigh carrying her personal belongings.

Biography: Born on March 16, 2007, Remi Daymond is the only daughter of Sebastian Daymond and Miriam Daymond. Sebastian is a well-known surgeon in the medical field who moved from Irvine, California. During a business trip, he and his colleagues went out to drink and party in a gentleman’s club where he would meet Miriam, who was working as the club’s cocktail waitress. After a drunken one-night stand left Miriam pregnant, she and their family members pressured Sebastian to marry her. Despite his objection, the pressure of his family's Christian background, and Miriam's refusal to get rid of the baby, Sebastian eventually married her in frustration.

After her birth, Remi would live a life of luxury with her father still working as a surgeon and her mother quitting her old job to become a housewife. Miriam often spoiled her with toys and gifts and did fun activities with her at home. Sebastian, on the other hand, would become notably absent in her life, either busy with his work or caught up in a company event. This is due to his unhappiness with the marriage and his willingness to spend time away from his wife and daughter. On the rare occasions he does spend time with Remi, her father always points out her imperfections and problems with her appearance, social life, and abilities, which makes her insecure about her shortcomings. Her father’s critiques about her academics would follow her at school.

Remi would be enrolled in a private school that catered to all grades, from kindergarten to high school, throughout her early childhood. While she did very well in her tests and homework, she was reserved from her classmates due to how often she found it hard to connect with them. However, some students had noticed her talent in drawing. The subject interested Remi, as she learned to draw and paint cartoon characters and objects. The art style she became most fond of was watercoloring, which she applied to almost all her works.

On summer breaks, the family usually spends a month visiting Sebastian’s family back in Irvine. There, Remi would meet with her aunt, Elodie Daymond. Unlike her brother, Elodie treated her niece with kindness and loving praise, which made her the only family member Remi could truly connect with apart from her mother, even going so far as gifting her sketches and watercolors. It was also because of her that Remi found her love of swimming. The Daymonds would always have pool parties during their family gatherings, and Remi would soon learn how to swim from the skills taught by Elodie, a former Olympic swimmer.

Her father's negligence became more evident when she reached middle school. She began to notice how her father would show his disdain towards Remi and her mother. Sebastian would continue to point out all her flaws and failures with school, even going as far as to mock her whenever she had gotten one answer wrong in her homework. Because of his treatment, she later gained symptoms related to Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD), which has made it challenging for her to make friends because of her becoming controlling over others. One of these instances of her symptoms would be her constant organization of her school supplies and constant need to fix small details.

While her mother wasn’t abusive towards her in any way, Remi noticed how overprotective she was in her early childhood. Miriam would sometimes restrict her daughter from interacting with her friends after school, overlook her schedule, and control what she did. However, these tendencies toned down when Remi began middle school. Miriam would also agree with her husband’s comments about her appearance and hobbies after taking notice of her interests and boyish appearance. Remi would always hide the truth about her parents from her friends whenever asked about them.

Her relationship with her parents would continue to strain after Sebastian shot down her dreams of becoming a painter and forced her into after-school touring to have her focus more on her studies rather than her hobbies. The conversation served as a wake-up call to take matters into her own hands. She decided to call Elodie for advice, and she suggested Olympic swimming as a career. Heeding her aunt’s words, Remi began to take up swimming seriously around middle school by attending a swim club. Her newfound devotion was enough to open up to her friends and even granted her the confidence to embrace her interests and appearances more. Her favorite swimming strokes are freestyle and backstroke. Out of her club's swim team, she was qualified to be placed in state swimming.

After many efforts to convince her parents, she was allowed to transfer to Southwest Red Rock to complete high school, believing Red Rock could help her be part of a school swim team with a new change of environment. Remi would build up a reputation for herself after joining the girl’s swim team and finding herself an inner circle of friends. Because of her previous training, her skills have won her a few competitions. Some students even nicknamed her “Dayfree” for her freestyle swimming. To keep up with her athletics to qualify for the Junior Olympics, she has been taking part in a strict fitness and dieting routine, often making healthy lunches, straying away from junk food, and utilizing her school’s gymnasium at every chance. Apart from her physical abilities, her classmates consider her a prestigious student due to her perfect test scores and overall good grades in her classes.

However, some students would know her to be a perfectionist in a few instances due to her OCPD. For example, she would often devote herself to a tight schedule and rarely make small changes to hang out with her friends or teammates. She would plan her entire week from what she does after school to how long she needs to exercise. Another example was one event where she got into a heated argument with one of her teachers. The argument would derive from a written test where Remi only received a “B+” and tried to talk with them to give her a retake.

Remi has always tried to portray herself as an ideal student with perfect grades and athleticism, although her ambitions have greatly shaped her personality. She takes her studies seriously and is always controlling during group projects. When some students don’t meet her ideals, she is often caught up in arguments. Her judgment of character causes friction with some students, including those with low grades or who bully students.

During her summer break after finishing her junior year, Remi continued her swimming career and would go on to try and qualify for the Junior Olympics. She planned to qualify for the 50m Freestyle, 100m Butterfly, and 200m Individual Medley, but the stress and burnout from her training and schoolwork caught up to her, and she swam poorly during each event. This instance caused her to be unqualified for the Junior Olympics, and her pride and hatred of failure forced her to leave her high school swim team in embarrassment.

Her parents would try to utilize this situation by continuing to force Remi into working to pursue medical care or another college academic. This would soon become the final breaking point in Remi’s relationship with her parents, as she would constantly argue with both of them, even verbally insulting her mother. Her relationship with her parents is now broken, with Remi refusing to speak to either of them, and on the rare occasion she does, she explodes into an argument. Now, reaching graduation, Remi is stuck between a rock and a hard place when deciding on her career. She could either adhere to her father’s demands or try and work towards becoming a personal trainer. However, she still plans on moving to Irvine and living with Elodie when the college semester begins.

Advantages: Due to Remi being a swimmer in the past, she has built up strength and stamina. Remi has potential allies in the swim team, other fellow athletes, and students with high grades.
Disadvantages: Remi is also known to be judgmental, causing her to become unbearable to work with. Due to many past instances of her disdain for certain students, she can become an easy target for Red Rock’s delinquents and students with low grades.

Hello! Let's get to cracking and we'll get her in in no time.

It seems like only the swim girls call her "dayfree." If its not something she's known as instead of her real name, on a regular basis, I don't think it would rise to the level of being in the topic title and name fields.

She has an athletic build to her body with a wide chest and an inverted triangle figure.

- I think its more commonly a "broad" chest rather than wide.

While she has light skin, her years of swimming have led her body to leave the tan lines of a backless one-piece swimsuit.

- Her body doesn't leave the tan lines. It works just saying years of swimming have led her to have tan lines etc etc.
- Lips? Eye shape?

After a drunken one-night stand left Miriam pregnant, she and their family members forced Sebastian to marry her against his wishes.

- How did they do that, exactly? He seems like he has more money and resources where it doesn't seem like they would have a way to force him. He's not even from the area.

Her father’s treatment towards her would follow at school.

- Does this mean he's critical of her academically? The way its written made me first think he's nagging her at school.

- So, do her parents like each other? It seems like they are happily married despite the circumstances.

The Daymonds would always drive up to the beach for a family gathering, and Remi would soon learn how to swim from the skills taught by Elodie, a former pro swimmer.

- I'm sorry, I'm going to be very annoying about the swimming stuff throughout because I was a competitive swimmer for almost a decade, then a swim teacher in college, and now do pool and open-water swims. But teaching someone to swim in the ocean is very unideal, especially in the freezing cold water of California.

Her parents' negligence became more evident when she reached middle school.

- Is her mom also neglectful? I thought it was just dad. Also, since her mom is a housewife, I'm not sure what else she does with her time if not take care of her child.

Sebastian would continue to point out all her flaws and failures with school; the only care he gave her was a monthly visit to a doctor in the hospital where he works

- That's 1. Not care and 2. Very weird. People usually don't go for more than a yearly physical unless there is some kind of medical condition.

Because of his treatment, she later gained symptoms related to Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) which has made it challenging for her flexibility with her friend’s ideas and her need to be in control.

- Is she diagnosed or are you just telling us she has many of these symptoms. Also, can you be more specific about which symptoms? And what does it mean that its "challenging for her flexibility with her friend's ideas and her need to be control."? And lastly, do you mean friends' and not friend's? Unless there's one friend she's having issues with.

Her relationship with her parents would continue to strain after Sebastian shot down her dreams of becoming a painter and forcing her to become a doctor in the future.

- Force her how?

She decided to call Elodie for advice, and she suggested taking up professional swimming as a career.

- Professional in what way?

One of her favorite swimming techniques would be backstroke and freestyle.

- You start saying one of her favorites (1) and then listing two things. Also we'd normally call these strokes and not techniques.

After much convincing to her parents, she was allowed to transfer to Southwest Red Rock to complete high school.

- Why does she want to change schools? She's been going to the other school with her friends for her whole life, you've said.

Because of her previous training, her skills have won her team a few trophies.

- This isn't how swim competitions work. You don't typically win trophies for a team. If you're in high school, both of the schools tally up the top placements in all the events and whoever has more points wins. But, people don't usually care as much about the team outcome as much as personal times because its a more individual sport. Second, swimmers are capped out at four events per person during a meet so you don't kill them from exhaustion. So you can't really get carried to victory by one fantastic swimmer since, as mentioned, they can only swim four events.

Apart from her physical abilities, her intellect proved to be unmatched.

- This is a big GM-y since you can't control the intellects of the other characters.

Her teachers consider her a prestigious student due to her perfect test scores and overall good grades in her classes.

- Again, you can't really dictate how the teachers feel since we control those.

Another example would be one event where she would get into a heated argument with the French teacher, Ms. Diagne. The argument would derive from a written test where Remi only received a “B+” and tried to talk with Diagne for a retake.

- If you want to use this as an example that's alright, but it will have to just be a vague unnamed teacher.

She tried using recommended medications to tackle the problem but was hit back with severe headaches. After visiting the doctor for help, they found major issues in her cardiovascular system. Unbeknownst to her, she had developed high blood pressure, which caused her chest pains. Her blood pressure was also linked to Arrhythmia that slowly worsened because of her constant exercise and stress. While her irregular heartbeat wasn’t caused by harmful substances or an unhealthy lifestyle, doctors soon attributed the cause to her mother, who had a history of her family members gaining similar conditions.

- I thought she was having monthly doctor's check ups at the hospital?

Because of her heart condition, she was not only put on medication to prevent her symptoms from worsening but also quit the swim team to properly heal.

- Cardio and swimming are actually good for both high blood pressure and Arrhythmia. Exercising strengthens your heart and lowers your blood pressure.

"A stronger heart can pump more blood with less effort. So, the force on the blood vessels goes down."

Source: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-con ... t-20045206

Source: https://www.pennmedicine.org/updates/bl ... -and-donts

- It seems like she's decidedly not on her way to a career in medicine since she doesn't seem to be on her way to any kind of higher education.

Due to Remi being a freestyle swimmer in the past, she has gained a few health benefits for her body. Her strengthened lungs can enhance her endurance, which aids her with cardiovascular activities, and her toned muscles help her build strength. Remi has potential allies with the swim team and other fellow athletes despite quitting the Swim Team.

- "Freestyle" in specific doesn't do anything the other strokes don't so there's no need to single it out here.
- The rest of this is also a bit strangely worded. She has stamina and strength from her swimming. Those are the advantages.

Her first problem is that her irregular heartbeat raises the risk of failure.

- See the other notes on how swimming would actually help with this. Her heart would be extremely strong.

And due to many past instances of her distain to certain students, she can become an easy target for Red Rock’s delinquents.

- I think this is maybe that she may just have the distain of certain students. You said she is also down on kids whose grades aren't great, and that may not be delinquents.

Remi is also known to be judgmental, causing her to become hectic to work with

- I don't think hectic is the word you want here.

And that's it for now! If you have questions I'm available. Post when edits are in!

Edits have been made.

Sorry about the wait, friend. Looking much better but still a few things. Unsurprisingly many of the things have to do with swimming. I am just like this and unfortunately we must both deal with it, though you only temporarily.

Quick book keeping note that for her to be 18 by the time of the trip she needs to be born between October 2006 and May 2007.

- I see that her beloved aunt is now a former olympian. After a quick staff chat, that’ll be OK, though just to not make her so so notable, we’d prefer if she didn’t win medals.

Out of her school's swim class, she was qualified to be placed in state swimming.

- Some more of me being annoying about swimming. In middle school there’s usually not a swim team in the school. There might be classes if the school has a pool, which is not that common in middle school, but it would just be to teach swimming and proficiency. You’d be in a club swim team and you would compete at the state level if you did well enough as local meets with your club team.

After much convincing to her parents, she was allowed to transfer to Southwest Red Rock to complete high school. While most of her friends remain at her old school, she believes that Red Rock can help her open up to other kids more with a new change of environment.

- Few things here. Grammar quibble first. “After many efforts towards convincing her parents” or some other phrasing. “convincing to her parents” sounds odd. Or I guess “convincing OF her parents” would also work.

It seems very weird she’d leave her private school system with all her friends for a public school just because she wants to open up. If you want an easy peasy fix, maybe say that high school she would have gone to with the private school didn’t have a pool/swim team. And also its supposed to be a sporty school. That’s partly how I chose my high school.

When some students don’t meet her ideals, she often caught up in arguments.

- Missing a word here. “she often IS caught up in arguments”?

She completed her standard for the 200m and 400m events, but the stress and burnout from her training and schoolwork caught up to her and made her falter during a 1500-meter freestyle event. This instance caused her to be unqualified for the Junior Olympics, and because of her pride and hatred of failure, she left her high school swim team in embarrassment.

I assume this is 200 and 400 free? Those are also IM event lengths. Also, I don’t know what most of this means. What do you mean she “completed” them? Just completing a 200 or a 400 is something that I would imagine most people who can swim a little can do. It’s not special. Also, you qualify per event. Let’s say that I go to a qualifying meet for the Junior Olympics. That means that my times at that meet will be considered for the Junior Olympics. Let’s say I swim the 50 free, the 100 back, and the 200 IM. If I swim with a qualifying time in the 50 free (let’s say JO qualifying time is 30 seconds and I swim it in 25 seconds), then that has no baring on what I swim for the other events. I could jump off the block during the 200 IM, hit my head, and spend the event floating like a dead fish and I would still be able to swim the 50 free in the JO, because I swam that event with a qualifying time. I think to get this where you want it for your narrative, you’d just put down that due to stress and burn out, she swam poorly and didn’t make qualifying times on any of her events. Which would be sad and I would be devastated for her.

Remi is also known to be judgmental, causing her to become unbearing to work with.

Grammar thing. Unbearing isn’t a word. You’d want “unbearable.”

- Can I ask a little about how her relationship with her parents is right now?

And that's IT. Post when edits and I'll get to them quicker this time.

Second round of edits.