Real Housewives of Mafia: Game Thread

[Fenris]

[BlizzardeyeWonder]

What

Does this

Does this put us in hammering range of Rugga?

[BlizzardeyeWonder]

Did she just hammer herself or what?

[BlizzardeyeWonder]

The fuck

I mean I guess we get it over with but

The fuck?

[dmboogie]

big f

[BlizzardeyeWonder]

I mean voting for yourself is a big mood but still

[Brackie]

Coming up, on the Real Housewives of Mafia...

The ladies were enjoying their multi-episode overseas trip to [INSERT CARRIBEAN COUNTRY HERE] when suddenly, during a trip to a fine dining establishment, one of them had a burning question to ask.

"So, ladies, who would you all say is the most boring person here?"

The remaining housewives looked around the table in a melodramatic fashion, all at once, as though they had not actually done so all at once but had been edited to look like such in post-production. Suddenly, a voice popped up.

"I would say...Shannon"

Suddenly, a voice erupted from the end of the table!

"IT WAS YOOOOU! YOU WERE THE ONE WHO PLANNED THIS WHOLE THING JUST TO AMBUSH ME! YOU'RE EVIL, YOU'RE ALL EVIL PEOPLE, AND I'LL NEVER SPEAK TO ANY OF YOU EVER AGAIN!"

And with that, Shannon burst out of the diner. The establishment became somewhat quieter, as the production team looked amongst each other, traded notes, and set up for filming once again.

"Alright, who's fighting next?"

--

"Do we need to keep up the charade, though?" asked a distinctly British voice from the end of the table.

The head production manager looked around and saw that Lisa Vanderpump was speaking directly to him.

"Charade?"

"Yes, the charade. The one where I have been playing fair, keeping the other wives on their toes with my warm British sensibilities, and they're just all too stuffy to get my humour."

"Uhh..."

"When in actuality I've been asking invasive personal questions to make them angry and in fact have been setting them up behind the scenes to get them kicked off the show."

"Wait, so it was you who made Adriana attack that woman in the street-"

"And made Leeanne have that meltdown, and made Jackie injure herself when she didn't see that glass door."

"Oh."

The production manager paused.

"So what do you want now, then?"

"Well, I would love if you could fire these other housewives. It'd be much better for their safety."

He stared blankly at her.

"Oh, and if we could just replace them all with my dogs and my gorgeous husband, and just make the whole show about me, that'd be great as well."

The production manager let out a deep sigh - he wasn't sure how he was going to relay the news to Bravo, but considering all the severance packages they had to write up and medical insurance they had to put out for the bystanders, it was probably a safer choice in the end.

"Alright then."

"Excellent! I was thinking, if in the first episode, we could just show how wonderful my cherubic pink mansion is!"

--

And thus, the game has entered an unwinnable position for the town.

VICTORY: FENRIS - LISA VANDERPUMP, MAFIA LEADER
MK KILMARNOCK - KAREN HUGER, MAFIA ROLEBOCKER

Fallout thread will be up ASAP. Thanks for playing, everyone!