Something Better

[decoy73]

((Christina Rennes continued from Why not me?))

Christina grumbled as she walked around. There was a waterfall, and that was, cool. But Ron or whatever had left a nasty bruise on her side when he slammed a goddamn fire extinguisher into her ribs. It was only sheer luck that nothing had broken. Now she just needed to find some way to

Fuck

Why were people screaming? What was so important that they had to yell incoherently? Christina just rolled her eyes as she approached the group. She may as well get in with the others and see if they can ditch Screaming Girl as soon as they could.

[Catche Jagger]

Sapphire didn’t really understand what Garnet’s wordless response was meant to indicate, other than it being somewhat rude. Sapphire had only been trying to be polite, welcoming. How else was one to hold on to themselves if not through maintaining some civility with one’s peers in the face of… all of it.

It was then that there was a scream and some shouting. Something had gone wrong with Nona when she wasn’t paying attention and now she was screaming and everyone was trying to get her to stop. Sapphire wanted to speak up too, she wanted to help, but no words came to fill the void in her throat.

Emmett was trying to deal with it, and he was a good person, but she’d never known him as the sort to be cool under pressure, and now the whole group had turned their eyes at that disturbed girl.

“Nothing’ll protect you better than a focused mind.”

“M-Maybe we shouldn’t crowd her, and let Garnet handle this.” She limply piped in, speaking to nothing and no one in particular, weak words pumped out to uselessly fill empty space.

She wanted to just leave, get out before things spiraled out of control, but she couldn’t just leave Emmett, not after just finding him.

[Shiola]

Erika stared straight ahead, the only motion she made being the slow draw of the joint to her lips and the only sound that of her long, labored tokes. She continued staring ahead, even as Nona started screaming. That was exactly what she should’ve been doing. How the fuck else is someone supposed to react to this? The girl just needed to get it out. Erika shot her a cold look, leaning into the anxious instinct to focus on the source of the sound.

No one's getting through to that. She’s not even really here. I can't blame her for any of it.

That telltale tug of anxiety was beginning to give way to a tingly, electric feeling in her fingers and toes. It probably wasn’t the weed itself, but the comfort of smoking something; one little mote of normalcy in this insane, absurd situation. Her tolerance was high enough it wasn’t likely to seriously impact her chances of survival. Paranoia was a given anyways, and the stuff helped her focus more than it had ever hindered. Right now, it should’ve been something to just fixate on. If not for the screaming.

There's nothing for me here.

Erika stood up and walked away from Nona and Garnet. Erika had only stopped here to see if being around people might help her sort herself out. To wean herself off of the desire to run and wear herself down until she was too tired to be afraid to die.

All that being here had accomplished was trading heart-racing panic for profoundly depressing realizations that she’d wished she hadn’t come to.

That it was really easy to find excuses to kill people, if you had to.

That some people just couldn’t compute how to face something like this.

That each person was a repository of experiences and memories, and that all of those moments would be irrevocably lost forever instead of shared fondly over the years. Things no one else could appreciate.

Thanks, Roy Batty.

She passed by Sapphire, muttering halfheartedly as she expelled a small cloud of smoke.

“’kay, I can’t fuckin’ do this, I'm sorry.”

The fear and panic weren't totally gone by any stretch of the imagination; she still sat in the shadow of Death, but the smoke made his outline just a bit more difficult to make out. It didn’t seem to physically hurt anymore. Much as it still wore on her psyche, it didn’t so much feel like the fear threatened to overwhelm every conscious thought.

Thanks, Mary Jane.

She stopped next to Emmett and Emil. Though she didn’t think much of them at school, she could respect that they were at least trying to stay on the right side of history here.

Even if trying to do the right thing here is a death sentence?

Maybe the tracker didn’t just tell them how many people were nearby, but who. That meant there was something worth mentioning. The words of warning came to mind, but she couldn’t muster up the courage to speak them. It felt wrong. So she just said something else. Something that was honest, but still didn’t feel like the truth.

“I’ll see you guys on the other side, this is too much for me. Good luck.”

Erika saw another girl approaching the group, though she deliberately avoided making eye contact nor did she look back to the others. Sticking around this group was only going to put her already fragile mental state in jeopardy.

I don’t want to watch them all die.

((Erika Stieglitz continued in Ricochet))

[ItzToxie]

"Okay, woah, woah! Calm down, calm down, we're cool calm down!" Emil jumped when Nona started screaming. At first, he thought some shit was going down, but nothing was happening. She was just screaming. Emil looked to Emmett to see if he knew what to do, because let's be honest, Emil sure as hell didn't.

Emmett seemed to be doing the same thing Emil was trying to do. There really wasn't much else either could do. Sapphire told them to not crowd around her, which was probably the best course of action. Emil felt helpless, and he hated it.

He wanted to help but he didn't want to make things worse. This wasn't good. Emil didn't like this. He felt a pit of dread forming in his guts, and right then he knew.

Something bad was about to happen. He didn't know what it was, but he knew it was going to happen.

[Latin For Dragula]

For your convenience, a scholarly interpretation of the internal monologue of one subject Nona Hart: Did you know that in 2013 the Collected Annals of Please Stop Talking To Me You're Very Loud found that telling a person who is not calm that they should be calm had as much discernible medical effect as telling someone with cancer they should stop having cancer? It was a controversial study that laymen and professionals alike struggle to adhere to to this very day but it's research was an exhaustive case study of Every Time Nona Had Ever Freaked Out, providing thousands if not millions of incidents for review, and the data came up the same every single time. At some point, one had to accept that their conclusions were indisputable. Doubling or even tripling the prescription of Verbal Calm has had no known effect on the subject, and in fact may even increase symptoms by varying orders of magnitude. Current recommendation is to allow subjects space and provide distractions such as: asking if she would like a snack, distracting her with a dog, playing aggressive music, calling her mother, or admitting that this stupid joke has gone too far that you have to stop now that you're all going to stop that everyone will leave her alone wait please don't go please don't leave her here she's very sorry you're all going away why do you have to hurt her before you go away what did she do wrong why is she like this does she deserve this do you want to hurt her will that make you stay is that the only reason anyone has ever stayed with her have they always been hurting her was she just too stupid to notice her skin itched so badly she was going to do it again she couldn't hold it back if she wanted to hurt herself they must want it too was that it did they know she was a liar a coward a freak an abomination if she admitted it would it all be over was this her punishment did they already know had they always known that's why they saw what she was judged her hated her hunted her they would never stop it would never stop she could never stop-

Nona stopped, teetering, tear streaked and terribly flushed at the edge of the roaring river waiting to gobble her down spiraling to the lake below.

[Namira]

Thank you Emmett for some highly unexpected support and empathy. Garnet hadn't properly made out what he was saying to Nona before and it was a bit of a surprise that it turned out to be his best effort of calming. Maybe his run-in with Lorenzo had changed the guy, maybe it was being in this rotten situation, maybe it was May—shut up, Garnet. She gave Emmett a thank you thumbs up anyway.

You know who sprung the opposite kind of surprise, though? Erika. Fricking Erika. She just up and bailed on them like it was nothing. Did she not even care? If Garnet hadn't quite caught what Erika was saying, she wouldn't have even glanced back to see her go. Like, that was it? Just a 'smell ya later' and walking off? Hell, barely even a smell ya later! Erika, you are worse than Gary Oak! How does that feel? Huh!? But she was gone. And Garnet didn't say any of that because Nona was still moving further away from her and the precarious position that she was putting herself into was more important than trying to get a handle on Erika's sudden streak of abandony jerk.

"Nona. Nona. Just look at me, okay? It's Garnet. Shauna's friend. C'mon, look at me. Let's just take a few breaths and step back from there. It's—" she was going to say 'it's going to be okay', but she couldn't, she just couldn't. It was very much Not Going to be okay. But like, c'mon, was she supposed to say that to someone standing way too close to the edge of a big-time drop? Hell no!

C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, Nona. She wasn't ready to deal with this on her conscience.

[Primrosette]

It seemed like Nona had calmed down, but now she was pretty near the edge of the waterfall and Emmett had no idea how to handle that. Why was he suddenly feeling nauseous? He didn't want to stay here. Too many people, too many people, too many people! He hated it, he hated it, he hated it! He felt a lump in his throat as he stared at the others there and he was going to feeling like a dick for what he was about to do next. Be an ass and leave.

"God, I can't.... I can't fucking handle this! I need to get away from here. I'm not feeling so good right now. Shit...!" He said, breathing more heavier than normal and he realized that he was looking at Emil and Sapphire with pleading eyes, he didn't even remember that his dufflebag was now in his left hand. "We.... I.... I'm- Fuck!"

Emmett couldn't stop himself from making his way pass everyone there. He hoped that Emil and Sapphire would follow after him because he was a selfish prick and he could only feel safer with people that he trusted more than himself. Not that he deserved to have those two with him. Why should anyone have to deal with him?

He turned his head to look at Garnet. "Take care of Nona, Garnet. I'm.... shit.... sorry...." He said in a quiet voice and then he booked it from the waterfall.

((Emmett Bunnell continued in Break Your Halo))

[decoy73]

So Garnet was trying to calm Nona down, because Nona was in the death game and it was real easy to stay calm. Two people had already bailed, because there was just so much tension already and here tension led to people becoming corpses. Nona was, of course, right at the edge of what seemed like a long way down, so there were two ways she could calm down, only one of which was desired by the others remaining.

If Christina were honest, a part of her wanted to see Nona take the plunge. She knew that she had to be the last one left alive, but she didn't have it in her to cut her throat. Well, not yet. Nona wasn't a threat yet, nor was it far enough in the game for Christina to embrace temporary sociopathy.

She was, of course, going to say none of this. She was simply going to let it play out and hope for the best, even though she wasn't sure what outcome "the best" actually was.

[Catche Jagger]

The worst thing is seeing a horrible situation and feeling like you can do nothing to help. Garnet seemed to be trying to do something… but Nona was still right at the waterfall’s edge and all Sapphire could do was stand and gawk.

Emmett had seemed to be handling things alright, much better than she would have expected. Perhaps it just took a crazy situation like this one to smooth out some of those edges of his. However, as she looked to him now, he just looked like she felt, afraid and upset.

And then he started to leave.

No. No. She’d only just found a friend out here, someone she could trust. She couldn’t just let him wander off, leaving her alone again.

“I-I’m sorry, w-we’ll be back… maybe.” She nervously called to Garnet. It felt like a lie when she said it and that made her feel a bit queasy, lying in a situation like this.

Nevertheless, she quickly turned and rushed after her retreating friend.

“E-Emmett! Wait up! Where are you going?”

((Sapphire Waters continued in Break Your Halo))

[ItzToxie]

Did they really? They really did. All of the Damn Daniels, and What The Fuck, Richards couldn't describe the feeling Emil had right now in this very moment. Like sure, he could get the others, but Emmett leaving too? What the fuck man? Emil turned around to try and bring them back here, but a rare case of actual intelligent thought popped up in his head, despite the .0001% odds of that happening on a normal day.

He had his buddy tracker. He knew where they were going, and where they would be. Right now, he couldn't leave Garnet alone with Nona, because something awful would happen if he did.

He'll find Emmett later, and give him a piece of his mind then. Right now he had something more important to deal with. He looked back towards Garnet and Nona, before noticing a new person appearing. She didn't seem to be doing much, so Emil didn't pay her too much mind. He looked at Nona, then back to Garnet and just decided to be upfront about it.

"Hey, uhh Garnet? Is there anything I can do to help? Because I'ma be real honest with you, I have no fucking clue what to do right now, and it just don't feel right leaving you guys on your own."

[Latin For Dragula]

Nona spoke, her voice swallowed up in the roar of the waterfall. Maybe they couldn't see her mouth. But she mumbled her way through her thoughts. Every few words her body would quiver, her balance would falter, she would tip ever so slightly forward and ever so slightly back, no assurance which side of the line she would fall on. She didn't know where she was going, or what she said. All she remembered was the island, every inch of it she could take in. Maybe she talked about it. There might have been questions. It wasn't until she turned to shakily make her way down to Garnet that her voice rose again mid-sentence.

"-don't understand why but you see it right? You see, you wouldn't be a part of this would you? You're, you're my friend, you're Shauna's friend, you wouldn't hurt anyone, so they tricked you too. You see it? You understand? I can trust you, right? It's okay, I can't find it but you, maybe you, yes, I'm sure you can, and you wouldn't lie to me, you're a good person Garnet, you're not one of them, so it's going to be okay, you hate this too, I'm sorry, it must have been scary but you know now, you know and you can help me, you're going to help-"

Garnet was right there now, she was so close but so very, very tired. She found herself sagging with her firsts curled through Garnet's tanktop. When she looked up at her her voice was weak again, barely a whisper. "Where's the bus Garnet? I can't see the bus. I need you to find it. I want to go home. Please take me home."

[Namira]

NEVERMIND EMMETT WAS AWFUL FUCK HIM.

Know what was great, and by great, she meant shit? When she put her best foot forward and was treated to everyone fricking ditching on her in response. Like oh hey sure, looks like Garnet has this handled, I'm sure she doesn't need any kind of support with talking down the hysterical girl who seems like she might fling herself off the top of a waterfall any second now! Sapphire fuckity-byed too, which was basically the topper on the 'screw Garnet' sundae.

Like, not even moral support? No? Encouragement? Just a tacit little acknowledgment that this probably wasn't super easy for her? Oh okay actually just half-baked apologies and abandonment? Fuuuuuuuck.

At least Emil wasn't total shit. Garnet genuinely appreciated that and if she wasn't focusing all of her attention on Nona she would have given him due props for that, promise. Speaking of Nona, though, she turned away from the edge and started well uh, blubbering. Blubbering in a way that Garnet wanted to say didn't make sense but truthfully made a depressing amount of sense. She thought that someone was playing a prank on her, or something along those lines. Which... sucked. That just really sucked. It was straight up fantasy land but like, how could Garnet really judge her for that?

She hugged Nona gently.

"I can't, Nona, I'm sorry. The bus isn't here. I'm not tricking you, it's--we're stuck here. I wish I could tell you something else."

[decoy73]

So people were leaving by the minute. Christina was of two minds about it. Nona was probably dead weight, but on the other hand, Garnet and the other guy were possibly better - definitely better than Ron whoever it was. The other guy had no clue what he was doing - at least he was aware of his own uselessness in this situation, but Garnet's statement was what threw Christina.

"I can't, Nona, I'm sorry. The bus isn't here. I'm not tricking you, it's--we're stuck here. I wish I could tell you something else."

Denial. Nona was in denial. Christina just rolled her eyes as she went to the other guy.

"Hang back for now. She's going to need a touch we don't have to be talked from the ledge." Being (shudder) nice was not something she was used to.

[ItzToxie]

Standing back sounds like the best idea right now. It didn’t feel like the best idea though. He wouldn’t get too close, at least not yet, but he found himself inching forwards, just in case he had to run up and catch Nona if she tried to jump.

“Hey Nona? We’re here for you if you need it. We might be in a bad situation right now, but we’re all here, and we’re with you, so don’t think you’re alone, okay?”

Emil kept his distance, but his body was tensed up. He was sure Garnet had this, but he had to be prepared, just in case.

[Latin For Dragula]

Garnet was a good person. Full of life and excitement for things Nona didn't fully understand but loved to hear about anyway because of how happy they seemed to make her. Dogs adored her, and dogs never followed bad people by choice. The most telling thing about her though was how she treated people who didn't have much to offer her. It was obvious even to someone who didn't understand the sport that Shauna struggled to keep up with the rest of the team, and with how good they were it would be easy to imagine how that struggle could turn to bullying and exclusion...but it didn't. Garnet, like the others, was still her friend. She was even Nona's friend, Nona who had nothing at all to give her but ears to receive her enthusiasm. Garnet could have run away at any time, she was under no obligation to protect her. Nobody would have judged her. Almost everyone else had left her. Not Garnet, though. Even if the worst had happened and Nona had gone tumbling over the edge, she could imagine a fantastical outcome where Garnet went right after her to guide them both safely to the bottom.

Nona sunk into her arms, the side of her head pressed to Garnet's chest. Her eyes stared unfocused into space. To all present she would seem much calmer than ever before; no tears or incoherent statements, hands still in Garnet's top instead of tearing at her own skin, stillness that was almost serene compared to her earlier hysterics. It would be expected that she might cling to her denial, but the unending stream of consciousness every time she had opened her mouth before stemmed to a single, broken. "Okay."

It was the only sign Garnet would get that she had torn the last of Nona's hopes to shreds.

If someone like Garnet could be a part of this, the only people she could possibly trust were other victims too weak to save themselves, let alone her.

Garnet had stayed, and in doing so Nona had never felt so abandoned.