It's Christmas, and we're on Mars.

[Applesintime]

"Jesus Christ, why the fuck did I vote your ass for president." Matthew mumbled as Dick spoke, he didn't really give a shit about what this dickwad was saying. He was acting like Matthew was the aggressor here, but he was literally fucking doing nothing and this dickhead decided he was gonna call him a fucking roid rager outta fucking nowhere?

Matthew was probably kinda drunk.

But that didn't matter, because the little cunt right in front of him was telling him to back off when he hadn't done shit.

Opening his mouth, Matthew did one of those 'haah' breaths right into Ricky's face. You know, the ones that are hot as opposed to the 'hooh' cold. Hopefully it gave him a good fucking stink, as if the bastard didn't already smell. "OK then. Make me. Make me. C'mon." He extended his arms, the attempt at a friendly smile on his face betraying just how truly pissed he was. "Or, here's a fucking idea, you can take your basketball shaped ass and bounce it the fuck outta here." Without looking away, Matthew pointed back towards the house. "Go get a girlfriend or something instead of picking fights you won't win."

[Jilly]

Leslie's eyes widened at the two meatheads absolutely going at it. With each slur he sidestepped further and further out of the scene with his now near-empty plastic cup.

He glanced over at the cat lady. He sideeyed between her and the bucks locking horns before ultimately deciding, nah. Ain't his problem.

((to be continued))

[Buko]

Well…this escalated quickly.

Dicky wasn’t paying much attention to the specifics of what Matthew was spewing and instead of thinking up his own comebacks and quips as per usual…his mind was just screaming spit. Or spittle rather. Matthew’s spittle and hot breath all over his face. Make me? Might as well have been a dare. And Richard answered it. He shoved Matthew, hard and with all the strength he could muster in a moment. It had the desired outcome. The tall boy in his face was forced stumbling backwards after the heft of a heave from Big Dick.

“Fuck out my face,” now the chubby boy was defiant and serious and the statement was part cuss and plea the second time around,“Your dumbass just wanna fight because you don’t got anything smart to say. Boo-hoo! Pull the syringe out your ass and move the fuck on!”

[Deamon]

The party was going alright, it was a regular party held by kids his age. There was the usual groups of people, those that were drinking a bit, those that had drunk too much and those that had drunk too much too much. He supposed there was also that group that made a moral stand out of not drinking, which was cool or whatever but didn't need to be announced. Darryl was living in that first group, he'd had a couple beers and was happily socializing and getting to know some girls he hadn't met prior to that evening. He was in fact making his way to the fridge to retrieve another can when he overheard a different girl elsewhere in the kitchen telling her friend that the vice-president and some other jock were about to get into a fight.

A quick peek out the window confirmed the story as true and with a resigned sigh, Darryl returned to the fridge to retrieve another can, then made his way outside. He wasn't wanting to get into a fight but by the rules of friendship he wasn't allowed to let some jacked motherfucker pound Big's dick into the dirt.

So that was why a motherfucker dressed like Eddie Murphy in Delirious was going to have to sort the whole deal out.

"Yo, yo, yo." Darryl loudly announced as he stepped out and strode over to the pair, making a show of trying and failing to open one of his beer cans. "Hey, big guy you able to hold this for me quick?" He asked Matthew as he got closer, holding out his extra can.

[Gundham]

Rebekah traded glances with Leslie as a human boy she didn't recognize entered the scene and gave Sargent Roid Rage his beer to open. For a brief moment Rebekah envisioned the newcomer picking up Dick and proceeding to dribble him across the porch like a basketball. But that seemed unlikely, if only because Big Dick seemed difficult to lift.

Part of her felt really obligated to enter the fray at this point and try to break things up, now that the newcomer had put a wedge between the snarling alpha males. After all, she was supposed to try and keep the evening awesome for as long as she possibly could, and nothing really brought down the vibe of a party like police sirens and charges for aggravated assault. She'd wait to see how this progressed. Maybe if the new guy could talk Dick down, she could find a way to peel off the Sargent and distract him?

[Applesintime]

Matthew was 1: not expecting a shove from their dickhead of a student president or whatever the fuck, and 2: he wasn't sober enough to avoid stumbling backwards, especially with the fat fuck's weight applied to the push. Staggering backwards a little, Matthew snarled at him, making a conscious effort to dig his heels in and not fall on his ass. "Oh, you little fuckin-" He was about to start bouncing Richard when some dude dressed like Eddie Murphy from Delirious - good taste, before cancel culture ruined all the comedians - walked out into the yard and held his beer out to Matthew, who temporarily paused to stare at him

Was he drunk? It was pretty fucking clear that hey, Matthew and the basketball here were going to beat the shit out of each other - well, not each other, this was going to be pretty one-sided - and this guy was stumbling outside and asking Matthew to what, hold his unopened beer? There were plenty of tables to put it down instead of wandering right into the middle of a fight, but whatever. His funeral. Giving Eddie Murphy a bemused look, he took the beer, glancing down at it.

Bud Light.

A pussy beer.

Oh, this was some sort of diversion and Dick was going to suckerpunch him, wasn't it?

[Buko]

The scrappy Salem suburbanite felt his chest tighten and fist clench. His mind told him to press forward and work his advantage, his body seemed more hesitant and aware of the size discrepancy. Pride kept Dick’s posture upright but preservation kept him hesitant. Still. He tried to work out whatever cost-benefit analysis a fight would entail. Without the element of surprise, Richard wouldn't have much of a shot. But there was no honor in a sucker punch. You fight like a sucker, you gonna lose like a sucker. Dicky didn't plan on going out like that.

But what other option was there? How did Dick get outta this one without a black eye and a busted lip?

And then, as if by Homie-Hocus-Pocus—Daryl appeared to defuse the ticking timebomb of human growth hormone that was Matthew. Armed with a grin and a beer, he seemed to stop the fake Raging King of Roid Rock in his tracks. The slick talk and perfect timing of his boy Daryl was hard to compete against and Dicky was glad to have him on his side.

Seemed Mr. Smith the only one who could get him outta this mess he was in. Act like this was the plan. Ignore the man throwing the fit.

“Just the man I wanted to see actually,” Richard said with a forced and stiff grin, “Was lookin’ for you bro.”

[Deamon]

"Thanks my man," Darryl said once Matthew took the proffered can, using his newly freed hand to crack open the other can, which let out a loud hiss and bubbled up slightly. Darryl took a long drink from it and then turned to his best friend, who was still in potential ass beating range.

"Yeah, I bet," He said returning his friend's forced and stiff grin with a more genuine looking one, "Everyone wants to see me."

Then putting on a face as if he'd just remembered something he continued.

"Talking about seeing people, that girl was asking about you." He said clicking his fingers as if trying to remember something. "Think she's back inside on the first floor or something."

One hundred percent genuine lie but Darryl knew his role in this thing. He knew no one could keep track of what everyone was doing at a party and it was a good enough reason to get DIck back inside without losing too much face. If the big guy wanted to continue things even with that then Darryl knew he'd need to come up with a plan B in record time.

[Gundham]

Rebekah cocked her head to one side out of curiosity and piped up. "Which girl?"

It wasn't that she doubted that girls were interested in Big Dick. After all, his ample girth suggested on a primal level that he was very good at procuring food and in a time of crisis would therefore make an excellent hunter-gatherer or emergency ration, depending on the situation. And his nickname suggested that he'd be very desirable as a participant in human mating, which a lot of girls at school seemed to enjoy. (Rebekah herself had never really found the process all that appealing, for a lot of reasons she wasn't prepared to think about at the moment.)

It was more that Big Dick was the class president, and was likely to run for Homecoming King. Dani, she knew, would be angling hard for the Queen role, so any girl who was interested in Big Dick could be a potential threat to Dani's ascent to the throne. And Homecomings ran a lot like beehives or mole rat colonies - there was only room for one queen, and any threat would need to be eliminated. Rebekah wanted to suss out this mystery Dick seeker, and alert Dani so she could take precautions.

She looked curiously at Dick and the newcomer, awaiting their answer.

[Applesintime]

So the Eddie Murphy wannabe had another can, yet he just shoved one into Matthew's hands to 'hold for him'? Didn't make much fucking sense. Fuck, maybe something was wrong with him. Didn't really matter, though. The momentary distraction had tempered Matthew's anger just enough that he didn't give much of a shit about it. Little Dick'd continue to lose shitty basketball games, and Matthew would keep winning his. Maybe then the school would realise cutting football was the worst fucking thing they coulda done.

"Good luck with the Homecoming game, dickhead. You'll need it." Cracking open Eddie Murphy's beer, Matthew sauntered back into the house, ignoring all the stares at him from people who had fully expected to see the class president getting the shit beaten out of him.

He probably wasn't getting laid tonight, not after that. Fucking dickhead. He hoped they lost their little game.