Short Circuit
Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2023 4:53 pm
((Jess Kawazoe continued from Lines in the Sand))
‘Not now, Jess’
‘Not fucking now, Jess’
The scowl emblazoned on her face was fierce enough that it coulda melted the ice coating the ground, the aimless fury built up inside of her almost enough to stop the shivering and shuddering that had preoccupied her body for the last few god-knows-how-many hours. She trudged onwards, out of the village and into the light of day as it rose up over the horizon, no goal in mind but forward.
‘Not now’ indeed. All of a sudden she’d stopped being important. Stopped being frickin’ relevant even.
If there was anything worse than being straight up ignored, it was that. Being treated like a child, being looked down upon, being straight up dismissed offhandedly without a second thought; however you wanted to describe it, it was all applicable to the way she’d been treated in there. She could understand it, even though it still stung and pissed her off, when people kinda laughed her away when it came to physical tasks; she was small and skinny, she had the constitution of a baby, and the slightest drop in temperature was enough to give her a nasty cold for a week.
But this? This had just been a stupid dumb argument, with people talking over one another and getting pissed off cause of that. Far as she could tell that was why everyone had been malding, at least. Everything in sight and earshot had still been all kinds of blurry and nebulous; she hadn’t totally gotten the gist of why everyone was jumping down each others throats, but it had all been so sudden, yo. That kinda thing generally happened when nobody was actually paying attention to what anyone really wanted.
And she hadn’t even been given a friggin’ chance to contribute, or to try and play peacemaker, or nothing. She was sick, she was shaky, so she wasn’t even allowed to talk, was that it? Go back to bed, and don’t bother the adults while they’re talking? What was she, a part of the group, or just the result of a good deed? A trophy to make ‘em feel warm and fuzzy at the heroics they’d achieved?
Nah. Forget that. Lying there, tossing and turning and unable to rest all night had gotten her all riled up. Being ignored was the final nail in the coffin. She wasn’t just there to be there, she wasn’t a fuckin’ liability, yo. They all wanted the same thing, right? Keeping as many people alive as they could? Putting Chloe’s plans for the folks who’d taken to playing this game to one side for now, there was no way to make a stronghold filled with like minded folks without first finding those folks, was there?
Search and rescue? Yeah she could do that. She could do that easy.
She pushed forwards, the crunch of snow beneath her shoes the only sound to break the silence. She hoped they were her own boots. They felt like hers. The insoles were damp enough. She’d grabbed a pair in the dark, pulled them on, and burst out the front door as fast as she could. Hadn’t even bothered to lace ‘em, she’d need to do that soon enough. Hadn’t seen the need to grab extra clothes, any extra layers, her bag, her gun, nothing but blankets and towels and her own indignation keeping her going. The sooner she got this started, the sooner she would be back, yo. Entourage of folks willing to save lives in tow.
She’d get this done. She’d prove it to them. DJ Jazzy Jess didn’t need to be coddled and cared for like she was about to break apart.
She was gonna get this task sorted. No matter what.
((DJ Jazzy Jess continued in Human After All))
‘Not now, Jess’
‘Not fucking now, Jess’
The scowl emblazoned on her face was fierce enough that it coulda melted the ice coating the ground, the aimless fury built up inside of her almost enough to stop the shivering and shuddering that had preoccupied her body for the last few god-knows-how-many hours. She trudged onwards, out of the village and into the light of day as it rose up over the horizon, no goal in mind but forward.
‘Not now’ indeed. All of a sudden she’d stopped being important. Stopped being frickin’ relevant even.
If there was anything worse than being straight up ignored, it was that. Being treated like a child, being looked down upon, being straight up dismissed offhandedly without a second thought; however you wanted to describe it, it was all applicable to the way she’d been treated in there. She could understand it, even though it still stung and pissed her off, when people kinda laughed her away when it came to physical tasks; she was small and skinny, she had the constitution of a baby, and the slightest drop in temperature was enough to give her a nasty cold for a week.
But this? This had just been a stupid dumb argument, with people talking over one another and getting pissed off cause of that. Far as she could tell that was why everyone had been malding, at least. Everything in sight and earshot had still been all kinds of blurry and nebulous; she hadn’t totally gotten the gist of why everyone was jumping down each others throats, but it had all been so sudden, yo. That kinda thing generally happened when nobody was actually paying attention to what anyone really wanted.
And she hadn’t even been given a friggin’ chance to contribute, or to try and play peacemaker, or nothing. She was sick, she was shaky, so she wasn’t even allowed to talk, was that it? Go back to bed, and don’t bother the adults while they’re talking? What was she, a part of the group, or just the result of a good deed? A trophy to make ‘em feel warm and fuzzy at the heroics they’d achieved?
Nah. Forget that. Lying there, tossing and turning and unable to rest all night had gotten her all riled up. Being ignored was the final nail in the coffin. She wasn’t just there to be there, she wasn’t a fuckin’ liability, yo. They all wanted the same thing, right? Keeping as many people alive as they could? Putting Chloe’s plans for the folks who’d taken to playing this game to one side for now, there was no way to make a stronghold filled with like minded folks without first finding those folks, was there?
Search and rescue? Yeah she could do that. She could do that easy.
She pushed forwards, the crunch of snow beneath her shoes the only sound to break the silence. She hoped they were her own boots. They felt like hers. The insoles were damp enough. She’d grabbed a pair in the dark, pulled them on, and burst out the front door as fast as she could. Hadn’t even bothered to lace ‘em, she’d need to do that soon enough. Hadn’t seen the need to grab extra clothes, any extra layers, her bag, her gun, nothing but blankets and towels and her own indignation keeping her going. The sooner she got this started, the sooner she would be back, yo. Entourage of folks willing to save lives in tow.
She’d get this done. She’d prove it to them. DJ Jazzy Jess didn’t need to be coddled and cared for like she was about to break apart.
She was gonna get this task sorted. No matter what.
((DJ Jazzy Jess continued in Human After All))