Love is All I Bring

[LYourLocalAutist]

If you take a few turns left and right down the road from Skyline Heights 47, you'll come across the old Neuchatel Road. It's usually empty, the reasons for this becoming clearer and clearer the farther you drive down. Old, old housing projects, dusty and disused, barely a sound from the few remaining residents. If you go further still, you'll find the abandoned redwood church. It has not seen a sermon in about twenty years, and looks like something you might see in a horror movie made by high school freshmen. Attached to this corpse of a building, however, is a still-beating heart: a small graveyard, still owned and operated by a quiet and kindly groundskeeper.

Rumbling and purring, screeching and growling, an engine pauses just outside the church. 429 Mustang boss. Pride and joy, life and hope, stark contrast to its surroundings. A figure steps out, carrying an Iris. She shuts the door behind her, takes a deep breath in and out, and begins the walk.

[Raya Loux - Pregame Start]

The walk from the outside of the church to that spot in the graveyard is not long, never is. To Raya, it feels like ages every time. Every month, nearly a decade now, she's taken that walk. She walks in a manner that belies herself. Each step, across broken stone and onto wild grass, is taken gently and reverently. This is a sacred place, she knows. The bright and delicate flower is clutched tightly to her chest. Her hands used to tremble, and even now, it feels like they should be. Every month, nearly a decade, and it always feels the same way.

The gate creaks as it opens, just a little. Not enough for the ravens in the nearby trees to even rouse. They know her, she'd like to think. She learned, a while back, that they're really smart. They can remember faces and communicate. There are probably some around who've been watching her since her visits began. Like watchers. Guardians. Them and Mr Labrique. Didn't look like he was here today... shame. He'd always make time for a chat.

Raya continued through the small sets of plots. Some looked visited, tended to and remembered. Most did not. What a horrible thought, to be abandoned at the last possible place people can remember you. Made Raya a bit sick thinking about it. At least they'd always have Mr Labrique. Finally, reaching the end of the graveyard, she arrived at her destination. A small grave, kept clean and neat, nestled comfortably beneath the shelter of an old oak. Raya crouched and let the iris drop at its foot, as she did every month, putting herself closer to the headstone. Her eyes traced across the inscription:

IN MEMORY OF SOPHIA LOUX

1964-2016

A STRONGER WOMAN THERE NEVER WAS

And Raya spoke, a small and soft smile on her face.

"Hey mom. Me again."

Warmth in her chest. Melancholic and comforting. Blossoming. Of course she knew she'd never get a reply from the headstone, but it just made things... easier. Maybe she could hear her from somewhere. Raya had to hope, here of all places most of all. It was what her mother had always told her. It was what her favourite flower symbolized. Raya continued.

"I'm really sorry I'm late. Shop was swamped last week, and I couldn't just leave dad alone, yknow..."

Her smile broadened lightly. That she was able to help him to that extent made her proud. Felt like responsibility, duty fulfilled. Serious stuff. It helped with the fact she had to miss the monthly visit. She knew mom would approve. If only she was able to help him more... but that prospect wasn't far off.

"Y'know I'm graduating this year? Gettin' real close. I'll be able to work at the shop full-time then. I can't wait, dad can't either. Says I'm still getting better."

Her small smile widened entirely into a beam of pride as she spoke to the grave. Just being close to it was like sunlight. Like she could feel her arms around her in pride again. Raya hugged her knees to her chest, almost pretending like her mother was there. It felt a little embarrassing, but who would care? Who was here? The ravens? This place was sanctuary away from sanctuary. She felt safe here.

"...Just wish I could be able to work with you."

The smile faded and her grip on herself tightened imperceptibly. Voice came out a bit of a whisper, belying her usual demeanour. Breath was steady, but it wasn't how she really felt. It was control. Every month for nearly a decade. And it never really got any easier.

Raya stayed next to her mother's grave another half hour. Some talking, some just... sitting. Pouring her heart and life out to a piece of stone where her mother lay. Eventually, she got up. dusted herself off, bid her farewell. She looked down at the Iris she left. By next visit, it would be part of the earth, part of mom. Raya hoped she liked them. They used to be her favourite. She took the same path back out with the same reverence, and got back in her car, its start suffusing the quiet peace of the abandoned church with life. Raya smiled to herself, musing about her present. Texts from Clarissa and metalworking club and Jack and Ethan and so on and so forth. And off she went.

'Til the next month.

[Raya Loux continued elsewhere...]