“…huh?”
Josh smiled at her weakly with eyebrows drawn together. It was completely different than his charmed smiles or sly smiles or bashful smiles from before. He smiled as if using it to cover the distress on his face.
She touched his wrist gently, and he had her concern.
“Sorry? That he did that to me…” he repeated quietly. Josh put a hand up to his cheek self-consciously.
“N-No. It’s not -- N-no.”
He twisted his fingers together and looked down at them, long lashes hiding his eyes.
“It’s fine. M-maybe I was scared at first. I was. It was completely terrifying. I didn’t want to th-think of myself like that, before.”
Josh wasn’t prepared for this at all. He was expecting her to be frightened, appalled, disgusted, shocked. Those were the reactions he expected to observe. But she pitied him instead. It was so far away from what he anticipated that his control slipped.
“I mean, it was my first -- I never -- So that’s probably always scary. But after a little bit I was okay. I got used to it. It was what I wanted. I just had to be convinced a little to let go. He said that it was okay to want the things I want and to… exist, I guess. I’m better now, new.”
He took a deep breath to steady himself.
“Gosh, this was a mistake to say. I made a mistake,” he mumbled.
Dance of the Matador
Private Day 5 evening / CW: sexual assault
-
Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2540
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
The crowd hold their stomachs as the matador escaped the gruesome horns of the bull. A metaphor for the stunning dance of power and control, of manipulation and disguise. A strange twist of fate and a collision of dominance. The matador, the bull, the red cloth. The crowd watching on with bated breath.
In reality, it was totally accidental that Julia had caught him off guard. He started to twitch nervously, a silly grin on his face attempting to cloak his hesitant brow. In fact, she hadn’t expected his adverse reaction to her attempt at showing support. She figured that was why he had opened up after all and spilled all of the grisly details around his intercourse.
It didn’t matter how much she steadied her foundations around him, he was unpredictable. It presented its own challenges, and perhaps more importantly its own risks. She wanted, needed, to make sure he was calm. Make sure there were no sudden movements or immediate threats to her life. She had spent their entire conversation trying to convince herself that he wasn’t the Joshua who had killed some of her classmates. Two? Or was it three? He wasn’t the person you wanted to walk in on you and yet what she knew of him from the announcements did not add up to what sat beside her. A skittish boy, cloaked in a failed camouflage of stoicism.
As he retreated from apathetic exterior, she knew that the risk exacerbated. When emotions are high something bad was more likely to happen and she wasn’t in a position to bargain. The chill she felt infiltrating through her veins matched the crispness outside.
He had softened since they first met, but now he was anguished by denial, a desperation to grapple back against what he had released. He had conceded his position, backtracking on the severity of the details. Playing down the whispers. She remembered being told back in middle school that denial was one of the most human reactions when something bad happens to them. She didn’t want to diagnose him but knew that she had to tread carefully. She interrupted his nonsensical blubbering.
“N-no. It’s okay!” She really hoped the words that fell were correct and able to calm him down, “I’m sorry for pushing you to t-tell me.”
It was still raw for him. Understandable.
“You’re b-better now.”
It was obvious she wasn’t believing his 360. No, that wasn’t it. She simply had no idea what he meant, ‘better now’? What on earth was that supposed to mean?
Her words portrayed a balancing act, as vulnerable as a gymnast clinging to the edge of a beam.
Yet the comforting tone in her voice avoided crossing the line towards being patronising.
“You can be who you want to be.”
She reached over to him for a second time, this time to tug innocently on his hand. Her eyes locked with his, the amber legacy he had burned on her cheeks reciprocated in her gaze.
A gulp.
“I’m h-here for y-you.”
She had no idea if he would buy it. She just wanted to calm him down, to remind him of the peace they felt before his whispering started.
Maybe they weren’t too different from each other. His reaction made it clear he was emotionally brittle regardless of the stories his mysterious aura told.
They were both afraid to feel.
Just their coping mechanisms manifested in different ways.
In reality, it was totally accidental that Julia had caught him off guard. He started to twitch nervously, a silly grin on his face attempting to cloak his hesitant brow. In fact, she hadn’t expected his adverse reaction to her attempt at showing support. She figured that was why he had opened up after all and spilled all of the grisly details around his intercourse.
It didn’t matter how much she steadied her foundations around him, he was unpredictable. It presented its own challenges, and perhaps more importantly its own risks. She wanted, needed, to make sure he was calm. Make sure there were no sudden movements or immediate threats to her life. She had spent their entire conversation trying to convince herself that he wasn’t the Joshua who had killed some of her classmates. Two? Or was it three? He wasn’t the person you wanted to walk in on you and yet what she knew of him from the announcements did not add up to what sat beside her. A skittish boy, cloaked in a failed camouflage of stoicism.
As he retreated from apathetic exterior, she knew that the risk exacerbated. When emotions are high something bad was more likely to happen and she wasn’t in a position to bargain. The chill she felt infiltrating through her veins matched the crispness outside.
He had softened since they first met, but now he was anguished by denial, a desperation to grapple back against what he had released. He had conceded his position, backtracking on the severity of the details. Playing down the whispers. She remembered being told back in middle school that denial was one of the most human reactions when something bad happens to them. She didn’t want to diagnose him but knew that she had to tread carefully. She interrupted his nonsensical blubbering.
“N-no. It’s okay!” She really hoped the words that fell were correct and able to calm him down, “I’m sorry for pushing you to t-tell me.”
It was still raw for him. Understandable.
“You’re b-better now.”
It was obvious she wasn’t believing his 360. No, that wasn’t it. She simply had no idea what he meant, ‘better now’? What on earth was that supposed to mean?
Her words portrayed a balancing act, as vulnerable as a gymnast clinging to the edge of a beam.
Yet the comforting tone in her voice avoided crossing the line towards being patronising.
“You can be who you want to be.”
She reached over to him for a second time, this time to tug innocently on his hand. Her eyes locked with his, the amber legacy he had burned on her cheeks reciprocated in her gaze.
A gulp.
“I’m h-here for y-you.”
She had no idea if he would buy it. She just wanted to calm him down, to remind him of the peace they felt before his whispering started.
Maybe they weren’t too different from each other. His reaction made it clear he was emotionally brittle regardless of the stories his mysterious aura told.
They were both afraid to feel.
Just their coping mechanisms manifested in different ways.
-
Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2540
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
She put her hand on his, to comfort him for what she perceived as an ordeal he had survived. Julia apologized for pushing him. She saw him as a victim, and he disagreed.
Josh looked at her sideways and his demeanor became less unsure, more steely.
"Then maybe you can help," he said.
With quickness that confirmed his athleticism, he pushed his hands against her shoulders and flattened her against the bed. He swung one leg over her so that his knees were on either sides of her hips.
Josh pushed the bridge of his nose along the curve of her neck, giving her a light kiss just below the metal collar. It was warm, soft, pulsing with blood just under the surface.
"Tell me what you feel. So I can compare. You now, me then. And maybe that will help me know."
Maybe that would untangle if he really was the victim of something.
Josh looked at her sideways and his demeanor became less unsure, more steely.
"Then maybe you can help," he said.
With quickness that confirmed his athleticism, he pushed his hands against her shoulders and flattened her against the bed. He swung one leg over her so that his knees were on either sides of her hips.
Josh pushed the bridge of his nose along the curve of her neck, giving her a light kiss just below the metal collar. It was warm, soft, pulsing with blood just under the surface.
"Tell me what you feel. So I can compare. You now, me then. And maybe that will help me know."
Maybe that would untangle if he really was the victim of something.
A surprise blow, the red cloth was caught off guard and the bull moved in with its boisterous horns.
No warning shots were fired.
Julia was blindsided by his instantaneous might. Her kind gesture of support backfired, a sharp twist of her wrist had left her pressed flat against the mattress.
NO.
She wanted to scream but she was wordless, her eyes wide and her lips gawking blindly.
Try again.
"NO!"
This time a piercing shriek.
Any strength she had was lost. Her lower torso anaesthetized under the force of his knees.
Her skin trembled as his harsh, cold lips pressed against her collar.
"N-No..." she gasped for air.
"W-what are you?!" ... "Don't do t-this!"
Any air.
No warning shots were fired.
Julia was blindsided by his instantaneous might. Her kind gesture of support backfired, a sharp twist of her wrist had left her pressed flat against the mattress.
NO.
She wanted to scream but she was wordless, her eyes wide and her lips gawking blindly.
Try again.
"NO!"
This time a piercing shriek.
Any strength she had was lost. Her lower torso anaesthetized under the force of his knees.
Her skin trembled as his harsh, cold lips pressed against her collar.
"N-No..." she gasped for air.
"W-what are you?!" ... "Don't do t-this!"
Any air.
-
Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2540
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
She didn’t want this, so the control was adequate in the experiment. The testing conditions were sound. If she had, then the question would have been meaningless.
"You’re not answering," he said dreamily. "And you may not have a lot of time left, Julia."
He ran a hand along the curve of her waist, stopping with the heel of his palm at her ribs.
React. Do it.
"Julia, that name means someone youthful, right? So someone who isn’t destined to live that long."
The purely scientific interest he had in this started to crack a little. Josh could feel his heart opening its jagged maw and wanting to sink into her. Wolf, deer. Diner, meal.
"Tell me how you feel right now. I want to know if it’s the same as how I felt. I want to know what happened."
Josh could feel blood pounding in his ears. She really was lovely.
"Hurry," he said urgently.
"You’re not answering," he said dreamily. "And you may not have a lot of time left, Julia."
He ran a hand along the curve of her waist, stopping with the heel of his palm at her ribs.
React. Do it.
"Julia, that name means someone youthful, right? So someone who isn’t destined to live that long."
The purely scientific interest he had in this started to crack a little. Josh could feel his heart opening its jagged maw and wanting to sink into her. Wolf, deer. Diner, meal.
"Tell me how you feel right now. I want to know if it’s the same as how I felt. I want to know what happened."
Josh could feel blood pounding in his ears. She really was lovely.
"Hurry," he said urgently.
When the bull is subdued, the crowd cheers in delight. But when the bull comes out on top, the crowd screams in terror.
His words meant nothing. A blunt conglomeration without emotion or feeling.
She desperately tried to wriggle. Push him off. Kick out. Anything to resist his force.
Her struggles were hopeless. She was bound by his dominance.
He held her in place, firmly, with his muddied hands. His claws obscenely digging in to her flesh.
She looked up at him, desperately trying to catch his eyes. This wasn't him, if their eyes had crossed maybe he would come to his senses. Not the boy who had opened up to her. The boy who comforted her when she cried. Her ducts no longer capable of producing tears.
He continued to talk at her, not to her. Unrelenting. Something about not having long to live. Wanting to know how she felt. Running out of time.
She couldn't speak in sentences, instead a stream of out-of-sequence words spluttered from her lips like a machine gun retorting in a panicked flurry.
"Stop," ... "F-first time," ... "Hurting," ... "Please," ... "D-don't want," ... "N-nothing," ... "Dirty," ... "Help," ... "Scared," ... "D-don't."
He looked down at her like she was nothing, his grip unwavering.
She felt like nothing.
She felt nothing.
His words meant nothing. A blunt conglomeration without emotion or feeling.
She desperately tried to wriggle. Push him off. Kick out. Anything to resist his force.
Her struggles were hopeless. She was bound by his dominance.
He held her in place, firmly, with his muddied hands. His claws obscenely digging in to her flesh.
She looked up at him, desperately trying to catch his eyes. This wasn't him, if their eyes had crossed maybe he would come to his senses. Not the boy who had opened up to her. The boy who comforted her when she cried. Her ducts no longer capable of producing tears.
He continued to talk at her, not to her. Unrelenting. Something about not having long to live. Wanting to know how she felt. Running out of time.
She couldn't speak in sentences, instead a stream of out-of-sequence words spluttered from her lips like a machine gun retorting in a panicked flurry.
"Stop," ... "F-first time," ... "Hurting," ... "Please," ... "D-don't want," ... "N-nothing," ... "Dirty," ... "Help," ... "Scared," ... "D-don't."
He looked down at her like she was nothing, his grip unwavering.
She felt like nothing.
She felt nothing.
-
Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2540
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
They both breathed heavily, and he looked into her eyes as she stammered out her response. One hand squeezed the sweater fabric on her arm. The sun was setting, and the room was growing dim.
There was some overlap in her frightened words and his feelings, but only some. They didn’t quite ring on the same frequency. He supposed that was enough answer, or as much answer as he was going to get now.
Her fear gave him a rush, but he couldn’t go further, not with her, not like this. Going past the line with her as she was would only prove he was physically stronger than her and nothing more. And he already knew that, so what good was it to him?
It wasn’t like Dani who knew the score and was open to playing the game. Quid pro quo and an old hand. If he saw her again, there was a possibility things wouldn’t end like they did before he’d let loose. And it wasn’t like Karin where she deserved what she got, where she was immoral enough and bothered him enough that he would have had fun breaking her down. She caught him off guard but maybe things would be different next time too.
Julia hadn’t done anything wrong. She hadn’t lashed out, even now. She was an innocent. Josh wasn't even sure if he could twist and bend her, like Amy.
"Thank you for that. I won’t get you dirty."
I’m not like my brothers.
Slowly, he sat up, freeing her, and moved his legs so that he plopped down on the bed next to her on the right. He turned to lay on his side, facing her.
"I’m sorry, Julia, for scaring you. You didn’t deserve it. If you want, you can hit me or something. To make us even Steven."
There was some overlap in her frightened words and his feelings, but only some. They didn’t quite ring on the same frequency. He supposed that was enough answer, or as much answer as he was going to get now.
Her fear gave him a rush, but he couldn’t go further, not with her, not like this. Going past the line with her as she was would only prove he was physically stronger than her and nothing more. And he already knew that, so what good was it to him?
It wasn’t like Dani who knew the score and was open to playing the game. Quid pro quo and an old hand. If he saw her again, there was a possibility things wouldn’t end like they did before he’d let loose. And it wasn’t like Karin where she deserved what she got, where she was immoral enough and bothered him enough that he would have had fun breaking her down. She caught him off guard but maybe things would be different next time too.
Julia hadn’t done anything wrong. She hadn’t lashed out, even now. She was an innocent. Josh wasn't even sure if he could twist and bend her, like Amy.
"Thank you for that. I won’t get you dirty."
I’m not like my brothers.
Slowly, he sat up, freeing her, and moved his legs so that he plopped down on the bed next to her on the right. He turned to lay on his side, facing her.
"I’m sorry, Julia, for scaring you. You didn’t deserve it. If you want, you can hit me or something. To make us even Steven."
Joshua's grip on her loosened as she stared up in to his eyes, she watched on, stunned, as the colour drained back in to his face, his entire guise diminishing back to the lost nonchalance from earlier. He released her, pulling himself from her carcass as he dusted himself off. And then he acted like it hadn't happened. Like it was just a joke. It was taking her longer than usual to gather her thoughts, to react to his unrehearsed movements.
But he was alone in moving over to her side. His bouldering frame may have let her go, gifted her the breathing space she craved, but the iron curtain that pinned her to the bedsheet didn't release. Not immediately. She lay there purposeless as he apologized. Not sure what to say, what to do, how to react. She struggled to gather her breath , her heart pounding as she the blood rallied back through her numb limbs, her strength mustering a return.
With dramatic recoil, her eyes welled speechlessly. But no tears fell. The numbness from her limbs had infiltrated her mind as she remained still, dumbfounded. Dazed by his bipolar recklessness.
She wanted nothing more than to take him up on his words. Open his invitation to hit him. Smack him hard, unrelenting, screaming the words he had made her yelp. Show him that he couldn't treat her like that.
Yet she couldn't. All she could do was stare back at him.
Julia hoped that the melody of her gaze spoke the thousand words her lips couldn't, render the million actions her fists didn't.
He yawned back at her silence boyishly, mumbled something about it being bed time and rested his head on the pillow beside hers. His presence, even now, was penetrating. Leaving her empty fears unguarded and completely under the control of his next whim.
Another yawn. This time with an accompanying stretch, except not a stretch that kept within his own perimeter. She felt his grasp once again as he threw his arm and the bedsheet over her, cradling her in an envelope as he went to sleep. It wasn't a power play anymore, nor an act of terror, just an uneducated attempt at comforting her with a spoon. Deep down maybe there was even a hint of warmth.
After a little while his breathing slowed and his draped arm relaxed.
She lay there awake, unable to sleep after what had just happened. Staring up at the ceiling, her eyes twitching in the darkness as the occasional noise from outside made it through the thin walls, or the sleeping monster beside her shuffled slightly.
She thought about making an escape. Maybe she could've got out there before he could catch her. She considered making a go for the rifle, but that would've only failed. She had never shot a gun before, never even had her finger rested on a trigger. By the time she had fumbled out of her blanket, latched hold of it and turned it on him he would've awoken and gotten the upper hand. If she managed to get out of the room without waking him she might've had a chance. But the odds weren't in her favour. Even if somehow miraculously she had escaped his clutch what would she be doing out there? It had gotten noticeably colder, she had no way of getting her coat and bag without making noise.
Instead she lay there aimlessly.
Eventually she fell asleep too.
But he was alone in moving over to her side. His bouldering frame may have let her go, gifted her the breathing space she craved, but the iron curtain that pinned her to the bedsheet didn't release. Not immediately. She lay there purposeless as he apologized. Not sure what to say, what to do, how to react. She struggled to gather her breath , her heart pounding as she the blood rallied back through her numb limbs, her strength mustering a return.
With dramatic recoil, her eyes welled speechlessly. But no tears fell. The numbness from her limbs had infiltrated her mind as she remained still, dumbfounded. Dazed by his bipolar recklessness.
She wanted nothing more than to take him up on his words. Open his invitation to hit him. Smack him hard, unrelenting, screaming the words he had made her yelp. Show him that he couldn't treat her like that.
Yet she couldn't. All she could do was stare back at him.
Julia hoped that the melody of her gaze spoke the thousand words her lips couldn't, render the million actions her fists didn't.
He yawned back at her silence boyishly, mumbled something about it being bed time and rested his head on the pillow beside hers. His presence, even now, was penetrating. Leaving her empty fears unguarded and completely under the control of his next whim.
Another yawn. This time with an accompanying stretch, except not a stretch that kept within his own perimeter. She felt his grasp once again as he threw his arm and the bedsheet over her, cradling her in an envelope as he went to sleep. It wasn't a power play anymore, nor an act of terror, just an uneducated attempt at comforting her with a spoon. Deep down maybe there was even a hint of warmth.
After a little while his breathing slowed and his draped arm relaxed.
She lay there awake, unable to sleep after what had just happened. Staring up at the ceiling, her eyes twitching in the darkness as the occasional noise from outside made it through the thin walls, or the sleeping monster beside her shuffled slightly.
She thought about making an escape. Maybe she could've got out there before he could catch her. She considered making a go for the rifle, but that would've only failed. She had never shot a gun before, never even had her finger rested on a trigger. By the time she had fumbled out of her blanket, latched hold of it and turned it on him he would've awoken and gotten the upper hand. If she managed to get out of the room without waking him she might've had a chance. But the odds weren't in her favour. Even if somehow miraculously she had escaped his clutch what would she be doing out there? It had gotten noticeably colder, she had no way of getting her coat and bag without making noise.
Instead she lay there aimlessly.
Eventually she fell asleep too.
-
Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2540
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
She stared at him wordlessly.
There was a multitude of words in her gaze, but they didn’t make the journey down to her lips to make their escape.
A secret code carved in her face.
Josh looked at her in the dark that had overtaken the room.
"I won’t hurt you," was all he could think to whisper to her, drifting on a dark current of implication and desire.
He yawned sheepishly and said
"I think it’s my bed time," which carried the ripple of Shu’s near-identical, licentious declaration.
She’ll know in the morning that I killed Cassie. The thought was like acid in his stomach. It was the same anxiety he got when he knew his parents would find out he got a bad grade the next day. But it was done, and the night after the test there was nothing that could change his score. There was no way to change what would come, so it was best just to live those hours before as best you could.
He pulled the blanket of the bed up over the two of them, threw an arm over Julia, took a deep calming breath, and closed his eyes. He didn’t know how long it took for him to fall asleep, but it must have only been a few minutes at most.
Then, in the middle of the night, he woke up.
Julia was asleep but moving fitfully. He could only see the high planes of her face that caught the moonlight through the room’s only window. A nightmare, maybe. Under the covers, he slowly moved his hand up and down on her arm in soothing fashion. Josh didn’t say anything or make noise. It was something his mom did when he was young. Calm fell over her. The memory and situation made him want to cry for some reason.
God, she's so warm. And her heart beat is so relaxing.
His chest ached looking at her anguished face, delicately contoured by the sparse silver light.
I think I might love this one.
You love every girl you meet. You're just grasping blindly for love.
And you say hallowed and horrific things to each one.
And you mean every word that you say.
And you don’t know what that means anyway. You’re just guessing.
He had never known what he was, only what he wasn’t.
Don’t worry about the morning. Put it out of your mind until its time.
He cuddled against the girl, tucking his arm snuggly against her and resting his head into her hair, and fell back asleep.
Morning came, but the icy light wasn’t what woke him. It was the sound.
Announcements.
Josh sighed and closed his eyes. He had gotten an excellent night's sleep, and was well fed. Josh's expression was resigned, but for all the hardships of the island, he awoke this morning looking radiant.
“You can shoot me, if you like,” he said only slightly louder than the falling snow.
There was a multitude of words in her gaze, but they didn’t make the journey down to her lips to make their escape.
A secret code carved in her face.
Josh looked at her in the dark that had overtaken the room.
"I won’t hurt you," was all he could think to whisper to her, drifting on a dark current of implication and desire.
He yawned sheepishly and said
"I think it’s my bed time," which carried the ripple of Shu’s near-identical, licentious declaration.
She’ll know in the morning that I killed Cassie. The thought was like acid in his stomach. It was the same anxiety he got when he knew his parents would find out he got a bad grade the next day. But it was done, and the night after the test there was nothing that could change his score. There was no way to change what would come, so it was best just to live those hours before as best you could.
He pulled the blanket of the bed up over the two of them, threw an arm over Julia, took a deep calming breath, and closed his eyes. He didn’t know how long it took for him to fall asleep, but it must have only been a few minutes at most.
Then, in the middle of the night, he woke up.
Julia was asleep but moving fitfully. He could only see the high planes of her face that caught the moonlight through the room’s only window. A nightmare, maybe. Under the covers, he slowly moved his hand up and down on her arm in soothing fashion. Josh didn’t say anything or make noise. It was something his mom did when he was young. Calm fell over her. The memory and situation made him want to cry for some reason.
God, she's so warm. And her heart beat is so relaxing.
His chest ached looking at her anguished face, delicately contoured by the sparse silver light.
I think I might love this one.
You love every girl you meet. You're just grasping blindly for love.
And you say hallowed and horrific things to each one.
And you mean every word that you say.
And you don’t know what that means anyway. You’re just guessing.
He had never known what he was, only what he wasn’t.
Don’t worry about the morning. Put it out of your mind until its time.
He cuddled against the girl, tucking his arm snuggly against her and resting his head into her hair, and fell back asleep.
Morning came, but the icy light wasn’t what woke him. It was the sound.
Announcements.
Josh sighed and closed his eyes. He had gotten an excellent night's sleep, and was well fed. Josh's expression was resigned, but for all the hardships of the island, he awoke this morning looking radiant.
“You can shoot me, if you like,” he said only slightly louder than the falling snow.
In the end her exhaustion caught up with her and had carried her off to the land of dreams. She had barely stirred all night, at least not enough to properly wake her up, no sleep paralysis demons and no nightmares. Ironically, the only nightmare was the one lying next to her. Despite that unfortunate truth, Julia would be confident in saying that it had been the best night of sleep so far all week. The darkness outside had been replaced by the blinding lights of a winter wonderland, a thick layer of fresh snow settled in purity.
It was a very strange sensation. On one hand, she felt safe and secure. Prim and proper. Cocooned in the bedsheets and being watched over by Joshua, his arm acting as her guardian keeping her wrapped tight, radiating warmth in his own way. On the other hand, she was trapped in an endless echo, completely under Joshua's thumb with no means of defending herself or fleeing. Safe and warm for now, but how long would it be until Joshua wanted to scare her senseless again, longing to test her and her reactions.
But for now, she didn't want to think about that. A part of her enjoyed his vehemence, a moment in time that could've lasted forever to keep her safe from the surrounding violence. A kindling flame of having somebody there wanting to protect her, even if he didn't know fully how to go about that. Everybody makes mistakes, right?
The sound of the announcement boomed from the speakers, reverberating around the room and waking them both. She opened her eyes fully, blinking to wake herself up, and looked over to Joshua. His arm was still spread across her upper torso, his eyes glistening back at her, illuminated by the morning lights. As their abductor started the morning announcement, she moved for the first time since her assault, pushing herself up on to the pillow to hear who else had passed away, crossing everything possible that Timothy's name wouldn't appear on the report.
By the time had sat up, the first name had already been read off. Shannon Choi, sadly another classmate she could barely remember.
She gasped.
Karin Han?
Shannon had allegedly played nail to Karin's hammer, which was an utterly terrifying thought. That poor girl. Karin must truly have lost it, spiralled with grief after killing Ashlee the day before. She really hoped she never bumped into her. Her fear was probably visible, reflecting on her own encounters with Karin. She could scream as much as she wanted about how she didn't want to kill Ashlee, but what about Shannon? Did Shannon walk in to her hammer too?
Before she even had time to process, the second name had been read out... Cassie Chao. Again, as harsh as it sounded she barely bat an eyelid at the name.
But the killer?
Joshua James.
The boy lying against her side.
If she was doing a terrible job at hiding her emotions beforehand, she dreaded to think how much she was failing now. It was probably worthy of a Razzie award. Least convincing performance of the year goes to...
She bit her tongue to stop her from squeaking something she would regret. He could probably smell her fear like an animal stalking it's prey, the slightest loss of his control could escalate things so for now it was imperative that she didn't react outwardly. He had been pretty unphased by the report so far, still lying motionlessly down on the bed leaning to his side, his eyes had been shut for the start of the report but they opened after his name had been read out. She was worried he might make a jump for his weapon but he didn't. Instead he calmly blinked at her, a resigned look on his face. Their eyes met for what could only have been a few seconds but they stayed in silence.
It was awkward, but there was nothing she could really say. Literally not a single word would make any difference at this point.
She went back to looking at the ground, concentrating on the other names that were called whilst Joshua lay still. He hadn't dashed for the weapon so she didn't want to tempt fate by moving even a toe.
Jack Kilgore, Rebekah Hayes, Beth Lyon, Corbin Azinger, Perante Losoa, Ren Vu.
And then it hit, like a bullet fired straight in to her chest.
Timothy Adams.
The pungent taste of reality was hard to take. For a second it was nothing short of a sucker punch to her gut, the cold air toxic to her pure lungs. Julia had feared the worst ever since she dived in to the underground tunnels, but his name on the announcement brought those fears to life. He really was dead. Her grief turned to rage as the host confirmed that Salem Fox, the loathsome bastard, had won a best kill award for slaying her friend. Her fist clenched as she fought through her heartbreak. He ended Tim's life, and got rewarded for it. He'd won a prize of some horrendous weapon, probably making it even easier for the fox to kill and maim, and some luxury food. Whilst she was out here doing her best to be good, do good and look good, starving on dry rations.
It wasn't fair. How people like Tim weren't allowed to live anymore, and the bloodthirsty hunters shooting their classmates were winning prizes like they were on a TV game show.
But then the announcement ended, and silence fell on the dormitory room once again. She was stuck with the elephant in the room.
And the elephant had a name.
Joshua James.
But who was she more afraid of? Joshua James? Or the murderers roaming the snowy battleground, the Karin's, the Salem's. The many others who had been racking up a kill count like they were playing Call of Duty. Perhaps she didn't want to admit it, but she knew the answer.
It was a very strange sensation. On one hand, she felt safe and secure. Prim and proper. Cocooned in the bedsheets and being watched over by Joshua, his arm acting as her guardian keeping her wrapped tight, radiating warmth in his own way. On the other hand, she was trapped in an endless echo, completely under Joshua's thumb with no means of defending herself or fleeing. Safe and warm for now, but how long would it be until Joshua wanted to scare her senseless again, longing to test her and her reactions.
But for now, she didn't want to think about that. A part of her enjoyed his vehemence, a moment in time that could've lasted forever to keep her safe from the surrounding violence. A kindling flame of having somebody there wanting to protect her, even if he didn't know fully how to go about that. Everybody makes mistakes, right?
The sound of the announcement boomed from the speakers, reverberating around the room and waking them both. She opened her eyes fully, blinking to wake herself up, and looked over to Joshua. His arm was still spread across her upper torso, his eyes glistening back at her, illuminated by the morning lights. As their abductor started the morning announcement, she moved for the first time since her assault, pushing herself up on to the pillow to hear who else had passed away, crossing everything possible that Timothy's name wouldn't appear on the report.
By the time had sat up, the first name had already been read off. Shannon Choi, sadly another classmate she could barely remember.
She gasped.
Karin Han?
Shannon had allegedly played nail to Karin's hammer, which was an utterly terrifying thought. That poor girl. Karin must truly have lost it, spiralled with grief after killing Ashlee the day before. She really hoped she never bumped into her. Her fear was probably visible, reflecting on her own encounters with Karin. She could scream as much as she wanted about how she didn't want to kill Ashlee, but what about Shannon? Did Shannon walk in to her hammer too?
Before she even had time to process, the second name had been read out... Cassie Chao. Again, as harsh as it sounded she barely bat an eyelid at the name.
But the killer?
Joshua James.
The boy lying against her side.
If she was doing a terrible job at hiding her emotions beforehand, she dreaded to think how much she was failing now. It was probably worthy of a Razzie award. Least convincing performance of the year goes to...
She bit her tongue to stop her from squeaking something she would regret. He could probably smell her fear like an animal stalking it's prey, the slightest loss of his control could escalate things so for now it was imperative that she didn't react outwardly. He had been pretty unphased by the report so far, still lying motionlessly down on the bed leaning to his side, his eyes had been shut for the start of the report but they opened after his name had been read out. She was worried he might make a jump for his weapon but he didn't. Instead he calmly blinked at her, a resigned look on his face. Their eyes met for what could only have been a few seconds but they stayed in silence.
It was awkward, but there was nothing she could really say. Literally not a single word would make any difference at this point.
She went back to looking at the ground, concentrating on the other names that were called whilst Joshua lay still. He hadn't dashed for the weapon so she didn't want to tempt fate by moving even a toe.
Jack Kilgore, Rebekah Hayes, Beth Lyon, Corbin Azinger, Perante Losoa, Ren Vu.
And then it hit, like a bullet fired straight in to her chest.
Timothy Adams.
The pungent taste of reality was hard to take. For a second it was nothing short of a sucker punch to her gut, the cold air toxic to her pure lungs. Julia had feared the worst ever since she dived in to the underground tunnels, but his name on the announcement brought those fears to life. He really was dead. Her grief turned to rage as the host confirmed that Salem Fox, the loathsome bastard, had won a best kill award for slaying her friend. Her fist clenched as she fought through her heartbreak. He ended Tim's life, and got rewarded for it. He'd won a prize of some horrendous weapon, probably making it even easier for the fox to kill and maim, and some luxury food. Whilst she was out here doing her best to be good, do good and look good, starving on dry rations.
It wasn't fair. How people like Tim weren't allowed to live anymore, and the bloodthirsty hunters shooting their classmates were winning prizes like they were on a TV game show.
But then the announcement ended, and silence fell on the dormitory room once again. She was stuck with the elephant in the room.
And the elephant had a name.
Joshua James.
But who was she more afraid of? Joshua James? Or the murderers roaming the snowy battleground, the Karin's, the Salem's. The many others who had been racking up a kill count like they were playing Call of Duty. Perhaps she didn't want to admit it, but she knew the answer.
-
Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2540
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
So Karin had killed again. If the announcement was in chronological order, the murder would have been just before they met. Then his own activities were revealed. He looked over at Julia and saw panic. This time, he hadn’t intended to do it. Josh glanced away from her.
He sat up in the bed as the names continued to be listed.
“Perante,” he said to himself. Another lacrosse player, but not one he knew well.
Then the man told them that Salem had killed Timothy. Julia said she was with Timothy when Salem attacked them, and she thought he had been killed but didn’t seem to be sure. She had cried and said she couldn’t save Timothy, and her fears were confirmed. Her fists balled up the blanket and fury sparked through her eyes. Josh was a little dazzled. He didn’t know much about Salem except that his sister was the older student, and he dressed like he fell into a pile of clothes. Always taking care of someone was probably restricting, so maybe he’d broken free here too.
Josh rubbed his eyes roughly, fighting the urge to lay back in the bed. Now sitting, his hair was messier, more fluffy than usual because he’d slept with it wet, and it had dried during the night.
“I’m sorry. About Timothy. And Salem. And…” he said, breaking the silence.
“The second day, I was sleeping and a girl tried to steal my gun and kill me. I woke up because of the announcement, and she was standing over me, so I killed her instead. Zora. I met a girl named Amy later, and we traded scarves as I guess good luck. But then later her friend Mariya saw me and the scarf and thought I killed Amy and tried to kill me. I shot her.”
He motioned with his head to the cream knit scarf on the desk with his coat.
“Then that night Shu came. The next morning I was alone, and he’d taken some of my stuff. Then I came across Cassie. She had a friend in another room and thought I was going to kill them. It was her ice skate. Then Karin. Then you. That’s all of it.”
That was mostly everything. Well, everything but Ingrid and Dani. Everyone present for Ingrid was dead except Matthew, and it was pretty minor, so it didn’t matter. Dani was… not relevant to the conversation.
It was one of the best nights he'd spent since arriving on the island. He couldn't decide if he preferring spending the night with Julia or with Shu. Shu had been more viscerally satisfying and intense, but left him feeling lonely and unsettled. Julia was gentle and felt light like a feather, but he woke up warm and indulgent. He wanted to know more about her.
He decided to talk a calculated risk.
Slowly, very slowly, he leaned forward, crawled to the end of the bed, picked up the gun by the middle -- not the handle -- and set it in Julia’s lap.
“Shoot me, if you want,” he repeated, now loud enough for her to hear. “But if you do, just do two things for me.”
He sat up in the bed as the names continued to be listed.
“Perante,” he said to himself. Another lacrosse player, but not one he knew well.
Then the man told them that Salem had killed Timothy. Julia said she was with Timothy when Salem attacked them, and she thought he had been killed but didn’t seem to be sure. She had cried and said she couldn’t save Timothy, and her fears were confirmed. Her fists balled up the blanket and fury sparked through her eyes. Josh was a little dazzled. He didn’t know much about Salem except that his sister was the older student, and he dressed like he fell into a pile of clothes. Always taking care of someone was probably restricting, so maybe he’d broken free here too.
Josh rubbed his eyes roughly, fighting the urge to lay back in the bed. Now sitting, his hair was messier, more fluffy than usual because he’d slept with it wet, and it had dried during the night.
“I’m sorry. About Timothy. And Salem. And…” he said, breaking the silence.
“The second day, I was sleeping and a girl tried to steal my gun and kill me. I woke up because of the announcement, and she was standing over me, so I killed her instead. Zora. I met a girl named Amy later, and we traded scarves as I guess good luck. But then later her friend Mariya saw me and the scarf and thought I killed Amy and tried to kill me. I shot her.”
He motioned with his head to the cream knit scarf on the desk with his coat.
“Then that night Shu came. The next morning I was alone, and he’d taken some of my stuff. Then I came across Cassie. She had a friend in another room and thought I was going to kill them. It was her ice skate. Then Karin. Then you. That’s all of it.”
That was mostly everything. Well, everything but Ingrid and Dani. Everyone present for Ingrid was dead except Matthew, and it was pretty minor, so it didn’t matter. Dani was… not relevant to the conversation.
It was one of the best nights he'd spent since arriving on the island. He couldn't decide if he preferring spending the night with Julia or with Shu. Shu had been more viscerally satisfying and intense, but left him feeling lonely and unsettled. Julia was gentle and felt light like a feather, but he woke up warm and indulgent. He wanted to know more about her.
He decided to talk a calculated risk.
Slowly, very slowly, he leaned forward, crawled to the end of the bed, picked up the gun by the middle -- not the handle -- and set it in Julia’s lap.
“Shoot me, if you want,” he repeated, now loud enough for her to hear. “But if you do, just do two things for me.”
What had once been shrouded in mystery - an ominous game of give and take with the boy who had difficulties showing his hand - had unwrapped into a stream of truth. Like a flower blossoming in the spring, every petal, filament and anther sparkling on display.
Last night, Joshua had held the truth close to his chest. He was hesitant to speak about his misadventures on the island, defensive over the wrong questions being asked. But that armour had broken this morning. He sat up, earnestly, and the gospel truth started to flow as he answered the questions she hadn’t asked.
Julia listened on as he retold his entire island story, the people he encountered. The reasons behind each of the people he killed; Zora Morrison had tried to jump him whilst he was asleep and he had to retaliate in fear for his life. Mariya had taken his scarf to mean something else, their eyes diverting to the scarf resting on the desk before finding their way back to each other. Again, maybe she was so hostile that he didn’t have any other options.
Then Cassie. He referenced the ice skate wound and her eyes steered towards her masterful bandaging. If she had been sliced by an ice skate she probably wouldn’t hesitate to defend herself either. It all made perfect sense, as the best truths often do. A jury may find him guilty but that didn’t necessarily mean he deserved his sentence.
She played the scenarios out in her head, examining every inch of the boy and his reactions as he approached the grisly details. She appreciated his honesty a lot, he was self-aware enough to know that he had some explaining to do and had cut straight to the chase.
No questions needed to be asked. She was confident in his answers and could see that it was having an impact on him, perhaps he resented his actions from last night
It wouldn’t be easy, but she could forgive him. The new Joshua.
This new Joshua that was open with her, the new Joshua who shared more than he took. The new Joshua that treated her with respect and equally.
She could forgive him. For the greater good.
He regretted his actions from the night before, she was sure of it. It was written on his face as he flushed all of those words from his mouth.
She didn’t say anything. She wasn’t sure really what to say, what could she say that he hadn’t already thought or anticipated. It was probably not to say anything. She wanted to tell him it was ok, that she didn’t blame him for what he had done. That it didn’t matter anymore. That they could focus on the present, focus on surviving another day in this hellish snow.
It was important for her to forgive him, to move on and accept him for his flaws. Right?
And then he went one step further - an accidental slip in to his drastic ways. He reached for his gun, his movement slow and calm to ensure she didn’t fear or panic. He took his gun, not as a shooter but as a courier, delivering it to her lap as if it was a present. A grim present, like when your pet cat brings in wildlife from the outside and expects too to be grateful for their gift.
She didn’t know what to do with it. She didn’t want it. He spoke to her about shooting him, but she didn’t want to do that.
She ogled at his cute face, impressed by his vulnerability. By his willingness to offer himself up as a sacrifice, if she desired, a welcomed apology for his antics last night. She was of course very scared at the time, but in reflection maybe she was just overreacting with her fear. Yes he was menacing, but he didn’t actually do anything. He didn’t actually hurt her.
It was all talk. Right?
He wouldn’t hurt her.
She looked down at the gun, unsure of herself. Looked back at Joshua, his eyes fixated on her face. Looked back down.
“I… I d-don’t want to hurt you.”
She lifted up the weapon, symbolically deflowering her innocence. The first gun she had ever held, she ran her fingers up and down the handle, her finger tingling as she toyed with the trigger. She didn’t want to use it, and especially not on Joshua.
“W-what are the two things?”
In an alternate universe, maybe if Julia was stronger, she would’ve used it. In the moment turned that trigger on him and fired. Ended him; avenged the girls, positioned herself as a contender in this battle. But this Julia wasn’t that girl, she wasn’t strong enough. She needed him, as hard as maybe that was for other people to see. His cute face, his messy hair, his awkward gestures.
She appreciated him, allured by his spell.
Last night, Joshua had held the truth close to his chest. He was hesitant to speak about his misadventures on the island, defensive over the wrong questions being asked. But that armour had broken this morning. He sat up, earnestly, and the gospel truth started to flow as he answered the questions she hadn’t asked.
Julia listened on as he retold his entire island story, the people he encountered. The reasons behind each of the people he killed; Zora Morrison had tried to jump him whilst he was asleep and he had to retaliate in fear for his life. Mariya had taken his scarf to mean something else, their eyes diverting to the scarf resting on the desk before finding their way back to each other. Again, maybe she was so hostile that he didn’t have any other options.
Then Cassie. He referenced the ice skate wound and her eyes steered towards her masterful bandaging. If she had been sliced by an ice skate she probably wouldn’t hesitate to defend herself either. It all made perfect sense, as the best truths often do. A jury may find him guilty but that didn’t necessarily mean he deserved his sentence.
She played the scenarios out in her head, examining every inch of the boy and his reactions as he approached the grisly details. She appreciated his honesty a lot, he was self-aware enough to know that he had some explaining to do and had cut straight to the chase.
No questions needed to be asked. She was confident in his answers and could see that it was having an impact on him, perhaps he resented his actions from last night
It wouldn’t be easy, but she could forgive him. The new Joshua.
This new Joshua that was open with her, the new Joshua who shared more than he took. The new Joshua that treated her with respect and equally.
She could forgive him. For the greater good.
He regretted his actions from the night before, she was sure of it. It was written on his face as he flushed all of those words from his mouth.
She didn’t say anything. She wasn’t sure really what to say, what could she say that he hadn’t already thought or anticipated. It was probably not to say anything. She wanted to tell him it was ok, that she didn’t blame him for what he had done. That it didn’t matter anymore. That they could focus on the present, focus on surviving another day in this hellish snow.
It was important for her to forgive him, to move on and accept him for his flaws. Right?
And then he went one step further - an accidental slip in to his drastic ways. He reached for his gun, his movement slow and calm to ensure she didn’t fear or panic. He took his gun, not as a shooter but as a courier, delivering it to her lap as if it was a present. A grim present, like when your pet cat brings in wildlife from the outside and expects too to be grateful for their gift.
She didn’t know what to do with it. She didn’t want it. He spoke to her about shooting him, but she didn’t want to do that.
She ogled at his cute face, impressed by his vulnerability. By his willingness to offer himself up as a sacrifice, if she desired, a welcomed apology for his antics last night. She was of course very scared at the time, but in reflection maybe she was just overreacting with her fear. Yes he was menacing, but he didn’t actually do anything. He didn’t actually hurt her.
It was all talk. Right?
He wouldn’t hurt her.
She looked down at the gun, unsure of herself. Looked back at Joshua, his eyes fixated on her face. Looked back down.
“I… I d-don’t want to hurt you.”
She lifted up the weapon, symbolically deflowering her innocence. The first gun she had ever held, she ran her fingers up and down the handle, her finger tingling as she toyed with the trigger. She didn’t want to use it, and especially not on Joshua.
“W-what are the two things?”
In an alternate universe, maybe if Julia was stronger, she would’ve used it. In the moment turned that trigger on him and fired. Ended him; avenged the girls, positioned herself as a contender in this battle. But this Julia wasn’t that girl, she wasn’t strong enough. She needed him, as hard as maybe that was for other people to see. His cute face, his messy hair, his awkward gestures.
She appreciated him, allured by his spell.
-
Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2540
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
Julia was looking very intently at him, with a critical eye. It made him feel clumsy, but if he balked or showed discomfort he could lose control of the situation again. He looked back, unwavering, slightly sternly.
She picked up the BR18. Slowly, it rose and Josh flinched back. He let out a deep breath. He watched her explore the weapon, run her hands up and down the smooth length of the cannon. Her index finger circled the trigger. He swallowed loudly and blushed.
"O-Oh," he said, brought back from watching her. "Well, doctor…"
He sat on his knees directly across from her on the bed. Her responses indicated he had been right in his guessing, but he still wasn't sure. The gamble itself was kind of thrilling.
"One, that you think about me once in a while after I’m gone. And two, that just before you do it, you say my name like you care about me. I think it would be nice to hear, and I could die with that as my last memory. I could at least pretend someone did."
She picked up the BR18. Slowly, it rose and Josh flinched back. He let out a deep breath. He watched her explore the weapon, run her hands up and down the smooth length of the cannon. Her index finger circled the trigger. He swallowed loudly and blushed.
"O-Oh," he said, brought back from watching her. "Well, doctor…"
He sat on his knees directly across from her on the bed. Her responses indicated he had been right in his guessing, but he still wasn't sure. The gamble itself was kind of thrilling.
"One, that you think about me once in a while after I’m gone. And two, that just before you do it, you say my name like you care about me. I think it would be nice to hear, and I could die with that as my last memory. I could at least pretend someone did."
See? Joshua was being sweet.
Her stomach tickled a little, a butterflies sensation that dared her to be mischievous. The cannon still in her hand, she raised it up, hand gripped tightly around the handle but with her fingers noticeably not near the trigger, and pointed it in his direction. It would be a lie if you denied that for a second she considered pulling that trigger. She had no idea of the implications that would have, she didn't have time to process the emotional disarray it may have thrown her in. But in that time, she imaged it was Salem. Or Victor. Or Karin. Or another person coming to kill her. Would she able to actually pull that trigger? A week ago, the answer would be a firm no, and yet over 100 hours later stuck in this hell hole her conscious was wavering. She thought about what it would be like to actually end a life, in a facetious, macabre way. She wasn't capable of that.
It was a fine line she was treading by teasing Joshua, and she knew that she didn't cross that line. He had turned a page, but she didn't want to accidentally pull the pages back.
"I'm not going to hurt you."
She threw the gun at him gently, making sure he could catch it. A cheeky yet restrained grin plastered across her face.
"But you aren't allowed to hurt me either, ok?"
Those were the house rules. If they were here together, then he needed to protect her, and make sure he continued to respect her boundaries. In return, Julia would care for him, and make sure that he didn't lose himself.
Morning was well underway, and it was probably time for them to pack up and move. Their time in the dormitory room wasn't going to last forever, and with Joshua at her side she felt more confident about trekking in to the wilderness. He hadn't actually asked her about her weapon, a surprising overlook of detail from the boy who wanted to know every other crevice about her journey so far, so she left him to take his rifle and put her coat on. She checked to make sure the canister was still in the pocket, to use as a last resort if she ever needed it, and gathered her belongings.
It was time to hit the road, and she bid farewell to the room before making her way back out in to the corridor, scootering quickly past the room with the dismembered finger, and down the stairs. The icy chill in the air felt like a slap to the face, yet the stinging offered tranquillity as the fresh air filled her lungs.
She still appreciated having him there with her.
Without a doubt, the bull was tamed.
But who was the bull?
[S119 - Julia Guercio - continued in 21 Sacraments]
Her stomach tickled a little, a butterflies sensation that dared her to be mischievous. The cannon still in her hand, she raised it up, hand gripped tightly around the handle but with her fingers noticeably not near the trigger, and pointed it in his direction. It would be a lie if you denied that for a second she considered pulling that trigger. She had no idea of the implications that would have, she didn't have time to process the emotional disarray it may have thrown her in. But in that time, she imaged it was Salem. Or Victor. Or Karin. Or another person coming to kill her. Would she able to actually pull that trigger? A week ago, the answer would be a firm no, and yet over 100 hours later stuck in this hell hole her conscious was wavering. She thought about what it would be like to actually end a life, in a facetious, macabre way. She wasn't capable of that.
It was a fine line she was treading by teasing Joshua, and she knew that she didn't cross that line. He had turned a page, but she didn't want to accidentally pull the pages back.
"I'm not going to hurt you."
She threw the gun at him gently, making sure he could catch it. A cheeky yet restrained grin plastered across her face.
"But you aren't allowed to hurt me either, ok?"
Those were the house rules. If they were here together, then he needed to protect her, and make sure he continued to respect her boundaries. In return, Julia would care for him, and make sure that he didn't lose himself.
Morning was well underway, and it was probably time for them to pack up and move. Their time in the dormitory room wasn't going to last forever, and with Joshua at her side she felt more confident about trekking in to the wilderness. He hadn't actually asked her about her weapon, a surprising overlook of detail from the boy who wanted to know every other crevice about her journey so far, so she left him to take his rifle and put her coat on. She checked to make sure the canister was still in the pocket, to use as a last resort if she ever needed it, and gathered her belongings.
It was time to hit the road, and she bid farewell to the room before making her way back out in to the corridor, scootering quickly past the room with the dismembered finger, and down the stairs. The icy chill in the air felt like a slap to the face, yet the stinging offered tranquillity as the fresh air filled her lungs.
She still appreciated having him there with her.
Without a doubt, the bull was tamed.
But who was the bull?
[S119 - Julia Guercio - continued in 21 Sacraments]
-
Ruggahissy
- Posts: 2540
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:13 pm
Julia pointed the assault rifle at him. Josh held his breath. Maybe he had gambled wrong, assumed poorly, pushed her too far. And if that was the case, he knew death was a possibility. It was the same offer he had extended to Shu. If this was it, then he was alright with that; at least maybe she’d grant the requests. And if she pulled the trigger, she should pray it killed him.
But she said she wouldn’t hurt him and tossed the gun back with a devious grin.
"Oh gosh," he sighed in relief, catching it.
Julia had been teasing him, toying with him, playing a sick joke.
He had never wanted someone more.
Then, he thought “I wonder what that means?” A girl pointed a gun in his face and pretended she was about to shoot him, and his response was to be even more attracted to her. Josh could practically feel the excitement trying to escape from his finger tips, curling them inward into his palms to control himself. He wondered if there was something truly and fundamentally wrong with him.
Josh got up from the bed and looked in the mirror on the wall. He tried his best to tame and smooth down his bedhead, then put his coat back on and wound his scarf around his neck.
"Only physically. As long as we’re still allowed to hurt each other in other ways," he said trying to suppress smirk.
The emerged together. He had a companion now. A sweet one who patched wounds with expert finesse — a wondrous, shining thing that was his.
She didn’t make him promise not to hurt anyone else.
He could behave in the daylight. As soon as night fell again, he couldn’t say what his whims would be.
He dug out the last of his bread from one of his bags. He still had plenty of bars, but wanted to eat the bread first since it wouldn’t keep as well. Then, Josh slung the gun around his shoulder, lifted his two bags and followed her out into the corridor.
He handed Julia some of the bread.
"Eat up."
((Josh James continued in 21 Sacraments))
But she said she wouldn’t hurt him and tossed the gun back with a devious grin.
"Oh gosh," he sighed in relief, catching it.
Julia had been teasing him, toying with him, playing a sick joke.
He had never wanted someone more.
Then, he thought “I wonder what that means?” A girl pointed a gun in his face and pretended she was about to shoot him, and his response was to be even more attracted to her. Josh could practically feel the excitement trying to escape from his finger tips, curling them inward into his palms to control himself. He wondered if there was something truly and fundamentally wrong with him.
Josh got up from the bed and looked in the mirror on the wall. He tried his best to tame and smooth down his bedhead, then put his coat back on and wound his scarf around his neck.
"Only physically. As long as we’re still allowed to hurt each other in other ways," he said trying to suppress smirk.
The emerged together. He had a companion now. A sweet one who patched wounds with expert finesse — a wondrous, shining thing that was his.
She didn’t make him promise not to hurt anyone else.
He could behave in the daylight. As soon as night fell again, he couldn’t say what his whims would be.
He dug out the last of his bread from one of his bags. He still had plenty of bars, but wanted to eat the bread first since it wouldn’t keep as well. Then, Josh slung the gun around his shoulder, lifted his two bags and followed her out into the corridor.
He handed Julia some of the bread.
"Eat up."
((Josh James continued in 21 Sacraments))